Life imitating life...
I've recently found myself in an extremely ironic situation.
You know how people are always talking about life imitating art? Well...I'm finding myself in a crazy not quite deja-vu of the culmination of my senior year of high school.
Zoom in on April of 2003 ;-)
The four year plan was going at its greatest and The BFC of Jax, Amy, and Scott was stronger than ever. The three of us were always hanging out and shit, and it was way fun.
Then I decided to stupidly go about acquiring this massive crush on Scott. Bad move, Jax. Anyways...little by little Amy started to figure everything out...and I don't even remember how it happened, but somehow Scott and I ended up dating again.
Now, at the time for me it didn't seem akward, but I guess that's because I was me, and not Amy. Looking back and finding myself in her place and knowing how it all went down I just am TOTALLY not looking forward to experiencing that segment of my life all over again.
Here's what happened (and most of you probably know about this...byram being the small town that it is): Scott and I just WERE NOT working out as a couple...for more reasons than either of us knew at the time. So after a summer of trying to hold onto a failing relationship...we broke up...three days before I left for college.
So...those next three days pretty much sucked for everyone involved...especially Amy.
I'll be the first to admit that I ruined her going away shindig. The poor girl found herself stuck between her two best friends who now hated eachother and were like screaming at eachother in her bedroom. Needles to say we did not all part on the best of terms...but we went away to school.
So for months and months things were akward. Amy got sick of me whining about how much I missed him and blah blah blah...and who wouldn't. It was a very difficult place to be in...but being the awesome friend she is she managed to handle it with a grace and elegance that I can only hope (but am pretty sure I won't be able to) I will be able to handle the situation that I'm pretty certain I am going to end up in.
There was a few months of me trying to im Scott...and an akward few hours over our first fall break when the three of us hung out at Amy's house and I basically tried to prove how badass I was being in a new relationship and not needing him or whatever. But inside I was realizing how jealous I was that he and Amy were still friends and I had lost him.
Either way...a few months later I recieved an IM from him...which I found weird b/c for the past few months I had always been the one to say hi first...and I had basically given up. The conversation prgoressed to him outing himself to me. And suddnely it all made sense. I mean...all along there had always been these suspicions and all...but suddnely everything was right with the world. All I wanted to do was hug him and tell him how happy I was for him.
Thank god that happened, b/c since then BFC has had our arguments, but we are pretty much still unseperable.
Amy, Scott, and I can go to 3 different schools all at least 2 hours away from eachother and still maintain a friendship stronger than any I've ever been. Those two are truely my best friends, and I thank God everyday that a stupid teenage breakup did not ruin what we all have. They are the two people in my life right now who I know I will always have, not matter what happeens.
Either way...I now find myself in Amy's place. I'm pretty sure that two of my cloesest friends at school are about to start dating. One of them is my roomate, and the other one of them is this guy (who, yes I have suspicions of him being gay.) Anyways...I'm already finding myself in all the akwardness of being stuck in the middle of their "courtship" but I guess I only have myself to blame for being the one to out their "feelings for eachother."
I love them both to death, and if this will make them happy, I think that's wonderful. But I can just already where this going. Especially since the guy is transfering schools next semester. And his top choice is Eastman...in Rodchester, NY. In case you didn't know...that's kind of far from winchester.
See, the things is, from expereience, no matter how much people say it won't be akward...I know it will, because I've been there, and I've seen it happen. And I don't think I have enough faith to believe that another miracle will happen and things will be ok.
Who knows...maybe they will be happy and maybe hanging out won't be akward...but I pretty much just got out of a two year relationship (my rebound from Scott, acutally) and I'm not yet in the place where I can sit by and happily watch a happy couple and not feel jealous. I'm just not there yet...and I've pretty much given up on finding anyone for myself until after I graduate, which is just a depressing thought.
So I guess all I can do now is laugh at the irony of it all, and hope that it will be ok.
But I do want to say one thing before I leave this entry.
To Amy and Scott, you guys are my BEST FRIENDS, and I think about you everyday...and I'm always thankful that we could all come through this with our friendships stronger than they were 3 years ago. I love you guys, MWAH!
You know how people are always talking about life imitating art? Well...I'm finding myself in a crazy not quite deja-vu of the culmination of my senior year of high school.
Zoom in on April of 2003 ;-)
The four year plan was going at its greatest and The BFC of Jax, Amy, and Scott was stronger than ever. The three of us were always hanging out and shit, and it was way fun.
Then I decided to stupidly go about acquiring this massive crush on Scott. Bad move, Jax. Anyways...little by little Amy started to figure everything out...and I don't even remember how it happened, but somehow Scott and I ended up dating again.
Now, at the time for me it didn't seem akward, but I guess that's because I was me, and not Amy. Looking back and finding myself in her place and knowing how it all went down I just am TOTALLY not looking forward to experiencing that segment of my life all over again.
Here's what happened (and most of you probably know about this...byram being the small town that it is): Scott and I just WERE NOT working out as a couple...for more reasons than either of us knew at the time. So after a summer of trying to hold onto a failing relationship...we broke up...three days before I left for college.
So...those next three days pretty much sucked for everyone involved...especially Amy.
I'll be the first to admit that I ruined her going away shindig. The poor girl found herself stuck between her two best friends who now hated eachother and were like screaming at eachother in her bedroom. Needles to say we did not all part on the best of terms...but we went away to school.
So for months and months things were akward. Amy got sick of me whining about how much I missed him and blah blah blah...and who wouldn't. It was a very difficult place to be in...but being the awesome friend she is she managed to handle it with a grace and elegance that I can only hope (but am pretty sure I won't be able to) I will be able to handle the situation that I'm pretty certain I am going to end up in.
There was a few months of me trying to im Scott...and an akward few hours over our first fall break when the three of us hung out at Amy's house and I basically tried to prove how badass I was being in a new relationship and not needing him or whatever. But inside I was realizing how jealous I was that he and Amy were still friends and I had lost him.
Either way...a few months later I recieved an IM from him...which I found weird b/c for the past few months I had always been the one to say hi first...and I had basically given up. The conversation prgoressed to him outing himself to me. And suddnely it all made sense. I mean...all along there had always been these suspicions and all...but suddnely everything was right with the world. All I wanted to do was hug him and tell him how happy I was for him.
Thank god that happened, b/c since then BFC has had our arguments, but we are pretty much still unseperable.
Amy, Scott, and I can go to 3 different schools all at least 2 hours away from eachother and still maintain a friendship stronger than any I've ever been. Those two are truely my best friends, and I thank God everyday that a stupid teenage breakup did not ruin what we all have. They are the two people in my life right now who I know I will always have, not matter what happeens.
Either way...I now find myself in Amy's place. I'm pretty sure that two of my cloesest friends at school are about to start dating. One of them is my roomate, and the other one of them is this guy (who, yes I have suspicions of him being gay.) Anyways...I'm already finding myself in all the akwardness of being stuck in the middle of their "courtship" but I guess I only have myself to blame for being the one to out their "feelings for eachother."
I love them both to death, and if this will make them happy, I think that's wonderful. But I can just already where this going. Especially since the guy is transfering schools next semester. And his top choice is Eastman...in Rodchester, NY. In case you didn't know...that's kind of far from winchester.
See, the things is, from expereience, no matter how much people say it won't be akward...I know it will, because I've been there, and I've seen it happen. And I don't think I have enough faith to believe that another miracle will happen and things will be ok.
Who knows...maybe they will be happy and maybe hanging out won't be akward...but I pretty much just got out of a two year relationship (my rebound from Scott, acutally) and I'm not yet in the place where I can sit by and happily watch a happy couple and not feel jealous. I'm just not there yet...and I've pretty much given up on finding anyone for myself until after I graduate, which is just a depressing thought.
So I guess all I can do now is laugh at the irony of it all, and hope that it will be ok.
But I do want to say one thing before I leave this entry.
To Amy and Scott, you guys are my BEST FRIENDS, and I think about you everyday...and I'm always thankful that we could all come through this with our friendships stronger than they were 3 years ago. I love you guys, MWAH!