Nothing really interests me anymore
I'm sick, not only in a non-healthy way. I'm truly a very sick person. I'm slowly losing my mind. I yell at Nick for absolutly no reason, I say the meanest things I've ever heard come out of my mouth, and I hate everything. I feel like the whole world has turned it's back on me, and everyone's out to get me. Sometime while I was sitting here in my room, with only the voices in my head, they convinced me that everyone hates me, and I deserve. I truly believe that Nick will find someone better and leave me. He tries to tell me it's not true, but these stupid little voices keep yelling, saying he's already met her, and he's going away. I couldn't stand to lose him. I wouldn't be able to take it. So why am I driving him away? The same with all my friends. For a short period of time, (very short) Whatever it was that was holding me back, let go, and I hung out. Now I'm back to my old self, I never want to leave my room. I had to drag myself out of bed at noon for school. I know people who would kill to not have to go to school 'till noon, but I can't even get out of bed. What the hell is up with that? I'm so lucky, I only go twice a week, for three hours, I have a really cool job, and a boyfriend who loves me. Why don't I feel lucky? It isn't fair, I have everything, but I'm not happy. People with nothing are happier. Maybe I should throw all of it away. No I don't think that would help. I'm going to go listen to The Juliana Theory and let Brett Detar tell me how to feel.