So Rude
Title: So Rude
Pairing: Draco/Hermione, Blaise
Rating: G
Summary: “I’m sorry, Draco,” he began in mock innocence, “but there’s mistletoe hanging over our doorway. I couldn’t be so rude as to deny her a kiss…” Post-OotP.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to JKR. I'd like to think the plot as mine, however.
Note: This is the closest I've ever come to writing crack. Take it with a grain of salt, will you?
So Rude
“You already kiss her whenever you bloody want to! I should know; I’ve had to witness that rude display many times.”
“Yes, Zabini, she happens to be my girlfriend; thus we’re entitled to each other’s kisses. I’m shocked at you, my boy. Are you quite sure you know where babies come from?”
“My point, you prat, is that there’s no sense in hanging mistletoe over the bloody doorway. For that matter, it’s my doorway; you should be happy I’m letting you do this.”
“Oh yes, my dear Blaise. I’m entirely indebted to you for your graciousness in allowing me into your and my girlfriend’s common room.”
“What does she see in you?” the other boy wondered out loud as he shook his head. “I still don’t understand why you’re doing this. She’ll kiss you anyway, and I’ll have to witness it… again,” he sighed theatrically.
“Sometimes I wonder just how the Sorting Hat managed to put you in Slytherin,” the blonde boy returned as he shook his head sadly at his best friend. “Seems I’ll have to spell it out for you… again,” he sighed mockingly.
“Oh, this will be interesting,” the dark-haired boy muttered under his breath at he crossed his arms over his chest and waited for his friend to continue.
“When Granger’s involved in something, it’s all I can do sometimes to get her to acknowledge that I exist. Therefore, the mistletoe,” he said, pointing at the one above their heads, “is my ingenious way of irritating her and getting her attention.”
“That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. Hasn’t it ever occurred to you that she sees through everything you do?” the other boy asked with exasperation.
“Be a mate and man the door for me, will you?” the blonde asked, patting the other’s arm reassuringly. “I have a few more things to take care of, and I don’t want her to walk in and ruin the surprise.”
“That’s another thing she’ll see right through,” the friend replied. “Why are you throwing her some impromptu Christmas party now?” he called out after his friend’s retreating back.
“Because we won’t be together over break, you idiot!” the blonde threw over his shoulder.
The dark-haired boy grumbled under his breath, “Kicking me out of my own common room. Bloody rude, those Malfoys are.” He leaned back against the doorway, preparing himself for a long wait.
Surprisingly, he didn’t have to wait very long at all. He was soon treated to the sight of a harried Hermione Granger as she made her way to the Head Boy and Girl’s common room. Her nose was buried in a book as she slowly weaved her way towards him, so she didn’t notice he was at the door until she was standing right before him.
“Blaise?” she asked uncertainly. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be meeting with the prefects soon?”
“I’m… err-“ Blaise stalled as he tried to think up an excuse.
“When you see them,” Hermione continued, completely ignoring the strange stammering from the boy in front of her, “remind those Slytherin prefects that they can’t take off fifteen points every time they cross a Gryffindor in the hallway. Honestly, I think I’m going to pull my hair out if I see another girl coming to me in tears.” She rolled her eyes as she paused for a breath, then settled her eyes on the top of the doorway. “Why is there mistletoe over our door?”
“Damn Malfoy,” Blaise muttered through clenched teeth. Suddenly, he was hit with the perfect way to revenge himself. “I don’t know, really,” he replied with fake innocence. “Probably Dumbledore trying to make a joke.”
“Hmm,” she murmured noncommittally.
“But,” Blaise cut in before she could say anything else. “Since we’re here…” He grabbed her lightly by the arms and drew her into a chaste peck.
The effect was almost immediate. “ZABINI!” Draco roared from within the common room. “Get your filthy paws off of my girlfriend!”
Blaise immediately released Hermione and gave her an apologetic smile before he turned to his irate friend. “I’m sorry, Draco,” he began in mock innocence, “but there’s mistletoe hanging over our doorway. I couldn’t be so rude as to deny her a kiss…”
Finite Incantatem
Pairing: Draco/Hermione, Blaise
Rating: G
Summary: “I’m sorry, Draco,” he began in mock innocence, “but there’s mistletoe hanging over our doorway. I couldn’t be so rude as to deny her a kiss…” Post-OotP.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to JKR. I'd like to think the plot as mine, however.
Note: This is the closest I've ever come to writing crack. Take it with a grain of salt, will you?
So Rude
“You already kiss her whenever you bloody want to! I should know; I’ve had to witness that rude display many times.”
“Yes, Zabini, she happens to be my girlfriend; thus we’re entitled to each other’s kisses. I’m shocked at you, my boy. Are you quite sure you know where babies come from?”
“My point, you prat, is that there’s no sense in hanging mistletoe over the bloody doorway. For that matter, it’s my doorway; you should be happy I’m letting you do this.”
“Oh yes, my dear Blaise. I’m entirely indebted to you for your graciousness in allowing me into your and my girlfriend’s common room.”
“What does she see in you?” the other boy wondered out loud as he shook his head. “I still don’t understand why you’re doing this. She’ll kiss you anyway, and I’ll have to witness it… again,” he sighed theatrically.
“Sometimes I wonder just how the Sorting Hat managed to put you in Slytherin,” the blonde boy returned as he shook his head sadly at his best friend. “Seems I’ll have to spell it out for you… again,” he sighed mockingly.
“Oh, this will be interesting,” the dark-haired boy muttered under his breath at he crossed his arms over his chest and waited for his friend to continue.
“When Granger’s involved in something, it’s all I can do sometimes to get her to acknowledge that I exist. Therefore, the mistletoe,” he said, pointing at the one above their heads, “is my ingenious way of irritating her and getting her attention.”
“That’s the stupidest excuse I’ve ever heard. Hasn’t it ever occurred to you that she sees through everything you do?” the other boy asked with exasperation.
“Be a mate and man the door for me, will you?” the blonde asked, patting the other’s arm reassuringly. “I have a few more things to take care of, and I don’t want her to walk in and ruin the surprise.”
“That’s another thing she’ll see right through,” the friend replied. “Why are you throwing her some impromptu Christmas party now?” he called out after his friend’s retreating back.
“Because we won’t be together over break, you idiot!” the blonde threw over his shoulder.
The dark-haired boy grumbled under his breath, “Kicking me out of my own common room. Bloody rude, those Malfoys are.” He leaned back against the doorway, preparing himself for a long wait.
Surprisingly, he didn’t have to wait very long at all. He was soon treated to the sight of a harried Hermione Granger as she made her way to the Head Boy and Girl’s common room. Her nose was buried in a book as she slowly weaved her way towards him, so she didn’t notice he was at the door until she was standing right before him.
“Blaise?” she asked uncertainly. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be meeting with the prefects soon?”
“I’m… err-“ Blaise stalled as he tried to think up an excuse.
“When you see them,” Hermione continued, completely ignoring the strange stammering from the boy in front of her, “remind those Slytherin prefects that they can’t take off fifteen points every time they cross a Gryffindor in the hallway. Honestly, I think I’m going to pull my hair out if I see another girl coming to me in tears.” She rolled her eyes as she paused for a breath, then settled her eyes on the top of the doorway. “Why is there mistletoe over our door?”
“Damn Malfoy,” Blaise muttered through clenched teeth. Suddenly, he was hit with the perfect way to revenge himself. “I don’t know, really,” he replied with fake innocence. “Probably Dumbledore trying to make a joke.”
“Hmm,” she murmured noncommittally.
“But,” Blaise cut in before she could say anything else. “Since we’re here…” He grabbed her lightly by the arms and drew her into a chaste peck.
The effect was almost immediate. “ZABINI!” Draco roared from within the common room. “Get your filthy paws off of my girlfriend!”
Blaise immediately released Hermione and gave her an apologetic smile before he turned to his irate friend. “I’m sorry, Draco,” he began in mock innocence, “but there’s mistletoe hanging over our doorway. I couldn’t be so rude as to deny her a kiss…”
Finite Incantatem