Nov 01, 2006 14:56
It's getting so easy for me to not give a shit about people now ( Though I do still care about the people that matter to me). (makes for a low stress lifestyle) There are just so many bigger things to worry about, why sit around and worry about other people's stupid drama and self created problems. Half the problems people have are self created and most of them are too dense or selfish to fix it. Like people who crave attention...I think that shit is just pathetic. Or little bitches who are a friend to your face, but you know you can't trust em any farther than you could throw them. I'm not doggin' on anybody in particular-or responding to anything. This is just how I feel, and have felt for some time now.
Shit, I used to worry about having a boyfriend...now I could care less. I'll wait for damned 5-10 years for the right guy if I have to. I'm sick of having my chain yanked, (nice figure of speech I know) by these assholes who think their shit doesn't stink. To those little boys: I'm not your fuckin' momma, I'm not paying for your shit or lugging your ass around while you attempt to control me. NO ONE has any control over me...and never will. The next man who even attempts to approach me better have their head on straight, have their shit in order, a running vehicle and a job....or you don't meet the criteria (as bitchy as that makes me sound...but whatever I know what I want). All you dick pullers can come and go...you're nobody to me. The right person won't have THAT effect on me....christ how did I get into this rant? Anyways I guess I'll just keep going:
I love that people underestimate me too. Like I'm just full of shit when I talk or write. That's fine though, underestimating me automatically gives me the upper hand. 2 ppl in this world know how fucking crazy my ass really is...2 ppl only. So I guess that would explain why people see me in the light they do. I will never say that I'm going to do something ( in all seriousness) and then not do it. Fuck that, if you can't rely on your word then what the hell CAN you rely on? Also on a side note, I pick and choose my battles. Not EVERYTHING I disagree with is worth fighting or arguing over. Too much wasted energy there.
Bottom line, I'm just tired of the bullshit and ready to be rid of as much of it as possible. I work, go to school, and have my down time with people who are actually friends and not just a mockery of what a friend seems to be. I'm happy with how things are, and I don't care if I'm the only person who is happy with it. It works.
I've been knocked down many times, more than I'd care to count, but I just keep getting back up. Each time a little stronger and with a little more flame.
P.S. to Kerrie and Matt....guess who gets to wear another heart monitor?