If my friends were dolls...
(These are all I've got so far, but there are plenty more to add. If you're not in here I probably forgot about you because you don't really matter....JUST KIDDING....or am I?)
Brandon: Clad in dress shirt, trench coat, jeans, and ass kicking boots. Accessories: Bad-ass B.C. Rich guitar with a black rose design on the back to represent the beauty in the art of guitar (or not). Guitar features: 2 buttons which play two songs : Psycho Sematic and Zombie Apocalypse. If you find the secret button he can freestyle and make new songs. Also comes with the pocket Necronomicon, Dijarum Blacks, 10 metal CD's which can be played in his Hearse. Hearse is complete with velvet interior and dead body. (Hearse sold seperately: batteries not included) And a recycling bin labelled "Litter and suffer my wrath". Six-hundred and Sixty Six different latin sayings!!!!
Kerrie: Clad in gay pride shirt, glasses, super pimptastic Shady ballcap, jeans, pimptabulous kicks, and a "Palabra a tu madre" belt buckle. Doll is very flexible. Accessories: Eminem and Maroon 5 CD's which play in her pink Malibu Barbie Car. (She jacked it from that rich bitch cuz the Kerrie Doll is just all HOOD like that....NO, really...that's what it says on her bumper sticker.) Also comes with a pack of Marlboro Reds, and a huge diamond ring cuz she got a wifey too! (Sold seperately) 6 different phrases : "yer straight trippin' boo", "word"," palabra a tu madre", laughter that goes on for ten minutes straight...even if you remove the batteries, "You SO have gorrilla nipples!", and "turn the goddam car on so I can get some water!" (If you press her trigger area she says dirty things about old people in spanish!)
Matty Pants: Clad in all black : T-shirt (possibly with a sarcastic saying on it), fishnet undershirt (optional), jeans, socks, shoes...the essentials. Black nail polish and eyeliner (disappears when rubbed with ice). Celtic cross necklace. Comes with sketch pad, laptop, 10 clever sayings and insults, and if given a skateboard he'll break it over some stupid kids head automatically. (Some stupid kids head sold seperately) Also comes with white car with a loan shark bite out of the passenger side fender. (Loan shark not included) Lime, shovel, duct tape, and barbed wire included in the trunk. Also has removable chunks of skin which can be put together to form a very disturbing rubics cube.
Andrea: Clad in leather jacket, paisley print shirt, jeans, and black tennis shoes. Comes with super cool rings on every finger, and just to be fun: every toe. Also David Bowie paraphenalia, Twiggy Ramirez glasses, home rolled cigarettes, Zombie Survival Guide which comes in handy with her Zombie assault vehicle. Fiber optic hair that changes color when you touch it. Includes several different phrases such as : "Fuck ya" and "superkickasssweet". (Bird hair accessory sold seperately) Also included is the Journal of Kurt Cobain. (Warning: at any time if bitching about the ownership of the journal arises a reaction of either a middle finger or "kiss my ass" saying will happen instantaneously. The instruction manual says she thinks those people (who bitch) are uptight fuckwads.) Movie make-up case and make-up sold seperately. (Make-up is not intended for human consumption, and will not give you super powers.)
Jim: Clad in his infamous super kick-ass hat, "Elvis" glasses, leather jacket or blazer, and a funkalicious shirt, pants, shoes, all that jazz. Comes with rolled cigarettes,matches, close family friend Herbert McGreentree, briefcase, movie camera, Sinatra records that can be played in his talking car...if he can get it to shut up. (Comes with several different disguises in the trunk) 12 different sayings including advice, insults, and much MUCH more!!! Struts to the Beegees, really smokes his home rolled cigarettes, and has karate chop action. If the expansion chip is purchased he can also DJ and make his own techno music. (Batteries not included...ain't that some shit.)
Kelly: Clad in Dawn of the Dead shirt, jacket, pants (I hope), and his "guilty conscience" boots. Comes with video camera, various prosthetic body parts, and has removable eyes. The doll comes with 6 sets of eyes: normal green, blackout, blind, zombie, cateye, and red vampire. Runs when his name is called repeatedly by younger, scary-looking stalker girls. (Repeated exposure to such conditions may result in permanent loss of doll.) Warning: Tends to Kreep up behind people unexpectedly. Also puts weird things into womens purses. (Kreeper Mobile, icepick, and O.J. Gloves sold seperately)
Greg: Clad in Slipknot hat (none removable), Camo-coat, Metallica or Slipknot shirt, Dickies, and Timberlands or camo shoes. Also a removable labre piercing. Comes with Bad-ass bass guitar with a picture of a chic's butt on the back, with a Pink Floyd Album painting across her rear ( that represents the beauty of playing music somehow, right?) Plays 2 songs and also has a secret button for freestyling. (Can interact with the Brandon doll musically) Includes pack of reds, close friend Herbert McGreentree, and various metal cds which can be played in his classic, yet tricked out, but old Hummer.(Batteries included...but just for the games.) Phrases include: Mostly subliminal shit which causes the 'owner' to do all his bidding without their knowing.
Allen: Clad in red Ecko hoodie, Fubu pants, some gangsta designer shoes, and an all black detroit ballcap tags and all that shit still attached. Comes with various rap cd's which can be played in his super cool, tricked out....CD player. Video games which can be used to shut him up, because his talk button is constantly jammed. Phrases include : "Man, dawg...", "Ya'll need Jesus", "Get that fuckin' camera off me", and many more! WARNING: Sometimes malfunctions and throws shit at people. To correct this problem simply steal his cell phone for a few hours.
Brandon: Clad in dress shirt, trench coat, jeans, and ass kicking boots. Accessories: Bad-ass B.C. Rich guitar with a black rose design on the back to represent the beauty in the art of guitar (or not). Guitar features: 2 buttons which play two songs : Psycho Sematic and Zombie Apocalypse. If you find the secret button he can freestyle and make new songs. Also comes with the pocket Necronomicon, Dijarum Blacks, 10 metal CD's which can be played in his Hearse. Hearse is complete with velvet interior and dead body. (Hearse sold seperately: batteries not included) And a recycling bin labelled "Litter and suffer my wrath". Six-hundred and Sixty Six different latin sayings!!!!
Kerrie: Clad in gay pride shirt, glasses, super pimptastic Shady ballcap, jeans, pimptabulous kicks, and a "Palabra a tu madre" belt buckle. Doll is very flexible. Accessories: Eminem and Maroon 5 CD's which play in her pink Malibu Barbie Car. (She jacked it from that rich bitch cuz the Kerrie Doll is just all HOOD like that....NO, really...that's what it says on her bumper sticker.) Also comes with a pack of Marlboro Reds, and a huge diamond ring cuz she got a wifey too! (Sold seperately) 6 different phrases : "yer straight trippin' boo", "word"," palabra a tu madre", laughter that goes on for ten minutes straight...even if you remove the batteries, "You SO have gorrilla nipples!", and "turn the goddam car on so I can get some water!" (If you press her trigger area she says dirty things about old people in spanish!)
Matty Pants: Clad in all black : T-shirt (possibly with a sarcastic saying on it), fishnet undershirt (optional), jeans, socks, shoes...the essentials. Black nail polish and eyeliner (disappears when rubbed with ice). Celtic cross necklace. Comes with sketch pad, laptop, 10 clever sayings and insults, and if given a skateboard he'll break it over some stupid kids head automatically. (Some stupid kids head sold seperately) Also comes with white car with a loan shark bite out of the passenger side fender. (Loan shark not included) Lime, shovel, duct tape, and barbed wire included in the trunk. Also has removable chunks of skin which can be put together to form a very disturbing rubics cube.
Andrea: Clad in leather jacket, paisley print shirt, jeans, and black tennis shoes. Comes with super cool rings on every finger, and just to be fun: every toe. Also David Bowie paraphenalia, Twiggy Ramirez glasses, home rolled cigarettes, Zombie Survival Guide which comes in handy with her Zombie assault vehicle. Fiber optic hair that changes color when you touch it. Includes several different phrases such as : "Fuck ya" and "superkickasssweet". (Bird hair accessory sold seperately) Also included is the Journal of Kurt Cobain. (Warning: at any time if bitching about the ownership of the journal arises a reaction of either a middle finger or "kiss my ass" saying will happen instantaneously. The instruction manual says she thinks those people (who bitch) are uptight fuckwads.) Movie make-up case and make-up sold seperately. (Make-up is not intended for human consumption, and will not give you super powers.)
Jim: Clad in his infamous super kick-ass hat, "Elvis" glasses, leather jacket or blazer, and a funkalicious shirt, pants, shoes, all that jazz. Comes with rolled cigarettes,matches, close family friend Herbert McGreentree, briefcase, movie camera, Sinatra records that can be played in his talking car...if he can get it to shut up. (Comes with several different disguises in the trunk) 12 different sayings including advice, insults, and much MUCH more!!! Struts to the Beegees, really smokes his home rolled cigarettes, and has karate chop action. If the expansion chip is purchased he can also DJ and make his own techno music. (Batteries not included...ain't that some shit.)
Kelly: Clad in Dawn of the Dead shirt, jacket, pants (I hope), and his "guilty conscience" boots. Comes with video camera, various prosthetic body parts, and has removable eyes. The doll comes with 6 sets of eyes: normal green, blackout, blind, zombie, cateye, and red vampire. Runs when his name is called repeatedly by younger, scary-looking stalker girls. (Repeated exposure to such conditions may result in permanent loss of doll.) Warning: Tends to Kreep up behind people unexpectedly. Also puts weird things into womens purses. (Kreeper Mobile, icepick, and O.J. Gloves sold seperately)
Greg: Clad in Slipknot hat (none removable), Camo-coat, Metallica or Slipknot shirt, Dickies, and Timberlands or camo shoes. Also a removable labre piercing. Comes with Bad-ass bass guitar with a picture of a chic's butt on the back, with a Pink Floyd Album painting across her rear ( that represents the beauty of playing music somehow, right?) Plays 2 songs and also has a secret button for freestyling. (Can interact with the Brandon doll musically) Includes pack of reds, close friend Herbert McGreentree, and various metal cds which can be played in his classic, yet tricked out, but old Hummer.(Batteries included...but just for the games.) Phrases include: Mostly subliminal shit which causes the 'owner' to do all his bidding without their knowing.
Allen: Clad in red Ecko hoodie, Fubu pants, some gangsta designer shoes, and an all black detroit ballcap tags and all that shit still attached. Comes with various rap cd's which can be played in his super cool, tricked out....CD player. Video games which can be used to shut him up, because his talk button is constantly jammed. Phrases include : "Man, dawg...", "Ya'll need Jesus", "Get that fuckin' camera off me", and many more! WARNING: Sometimes malfunctions and throws shit at people. To correct this problem simply steal his cell phone for a few hours.