...
So... september.
You know, september is a pretty nice month. The weather finally starts to warm up, there are flowers everywhere, I am NOT allergic, so I don't have any problem with it, there's more light out, the "anniversary" of the country is around that time, so people are in a festive mood...
But then again, the anniversary of the coup d'etat that sent my country to hell for 17 years and then some is this month.
And both Claudia's birthday (today) and her death day are this month as well.
And because of that, I can't help but hate this month.
It's not like I'm sad the 30 days of the month, but the same way that everything happy that happens in april I take it as a sign of good luck because is my birth month, and that every crappy thing that happens I try not to take to heart because it's my birth month, the complete opposite happens in september, and every crappy thing gets special focus because it's the month from hell!
Like, for example, we had a scary moment the last weeks from august, when my mom started felling like crap and had to be taken to the ER and got an emergency surgery because the doctors found a huge tumor and they couldn't really tell how big of a deal was it and where did it come from but it was better to take it out immediately. In the end, it wasn't one huge tumor, there were three smaller ones. Luckily, they were benign, but we didn't know that until a week after, for between the awfully quick surgery and the week after, it was a mess to deal with.
An a weeks after that, my mom starts feeling like crap again, and she has to go to the ER, AGAIN. As it turns out, the pain she felt wasn't because of the tumors, it was back pain, she's getting old and she has issues with her back and she always will, from now on. Of course, that's not nice but something you can deal with, but first I had to see my mom cry in frustration after the doctors treated her horribly because they couldn't figure out what was the problem and no one wanted to take responsibility for her.
Most of this happened in august, but the sentiment is ALL september. Because damn it, if I can't do nothing about it, I can at least try to feel better blaming a stupid month from everything bad that happens around it. It's a lot more healthy than any other alternative for me.
If I had written this any other day, maybe I wouldn't be so moody. I've been too busy to be sad or angry. Last friday I was actually happy and giddy, when I went to see the X-Japan concert (WE ARE X!!!), but today...
Today is Claudia's non-birthday. It's been eight years. And the biggest thing that bugs me is that, if she were alive today, we probably would have drifted apart and only be facebook friends. Instead, she dies, and ends up being the only person to get her own tag in my LJ because I'm stuck thinking about her every september.
But her birthday also tells me that half of the month is already gone, thankfully. And thanks to the national celebrations, I'll get to drink on her behalf more often than it's probably healthy. Hence, my headache right now.
You know, september is a pretty nice month. The weather finally starts to warm up, there are flowers everywhere, I am NOT allergic, so I don't have any problem with it, there's more light out, the "anniversary" of the country is around that time, so people are in a festive mood...
But then again, the anniversary of the coup d'etat that sent my country to hell for 17 years and then some is this month.
And both Claudia's birthday (today) and her death day are this month as well.
And because of that, I can't help but hate this month.
It's not like I'm sad the 30 days of the month, but the same way that everything happy that happens in april I take it as a sign of good luck because is my birth month, and that every crappy thing that happens I try not to take to heart because it's my birth month, the complete opposite happens in september, and every crappy thing gets special focus because it's the month from hell!
Like, for example, we had a scary moment the last weeks from august, when my mom started felling like crap and had to be taken to the ER and got an emergency surgery because the doctors found a huge tumor and they couldn't really tell how big of a deal was it and where did it come from but it was better to take it out immediately. In the end, it wasn't one huge tumor, there were three smaller ones. Luckily, they were benign, but we didn't know that until a week after, for between the awfully quick surgery and the week after, it was a mess to deal with.
An a weeks after that, my mom starts feeling like crap again, and she has to go to the ER, AGAIN. As it turns out, the pain she felt wasn't because of the tumors, it was back pain, she's getting old and she has issues with her back and she always will, from now on. Of course, that's not nice but something you can deal with, but first I had to see my mom cry in frustration after the doctors treated her horribly because they couldn't figure out what was the problem and no one wanted to take responsibility for her.
Most of this happened in august, but the sentiment is ALL september. Because damn it, if I can't do nothing about it, I can at least try to feel better blaming a stupid month from everything bad that happens around it. It's a lot more healthy than any other alternative for me.
If I had written this any other day, maybe I wouldn't be so moody. I've been too busy to be sad or angry. Last friday I was actually happy and giddy, when I went to see the X-Japan concert (WE ARE X!!!), but today...
Today is Claudia's non-birthday. It's been eight years. And the biggest thing that bugs me is that, if she were alive today, we probably would have drifted apart and only be facebook friends. Instead, she dies, and ends up being the only person to get her own tag in my LJ because I'm stuck thinking about her every september.
But her birthday also tells me that half of the month is already gone, thankfully. And thanks to the national celebrations, I'll get to drink on her behalf more often than it's probably healthy. Hence, my headache right now.