It's a bit hard to be "different" when deep down you want to be "normal"
I wish sometimes people could read my mind and know that I'm trying, really trying, to please them and yet at the same time be who I'm supposed to be, whoever that person is supposed to be. I wish people would stop telling me that I have the "right" to be an adult now, because most of you have zip idea of what it means to be an adult. God did not hand me a golden token on my 18th birthday and say, "Here, welcome to Adult Land! Please work hard, make all your own decisions, and enjoy your stay." Is that what you all think being an adult is? Is it driving your own car, having a college degree, letting strangers boss you around, or ignoring your parents wishes (despite the fact they just spent the past 18 years paying your bills, going to your plays, and taking your temperature)? Is being an adult "making your own way", "doing your own thing"? (-Newsflash, you're not doing your own thing if you're doing what culture tells you young adults are supposed to do.) That's what a good deal of you are trying to shove down my throat that is. And I know you do it with good intentions. I don't know much more than the rest of you. But I think that being an adult would include-
*Realizing and accepting that everyone does not and should not walk the same path in life. By path I do not mean different morals or extreme lifestyles. I mean career paths and growth paths and spiritual paths and every other "path" that makes you who you are.
*Sacrificing what you want for the good of another person.
*Sacrificing your dreams for the good of your own character or for a higher purpose. Sacrifice is sometimes out of obedience, other times it is a free-will decision. All times, it will shape your character in an advantageous way.
*Evaluating what you say before you say it, and who you are impacting when you say it.
(Do not take my stating these as my saying I have attained those attitudes. They are attitudes of "adulthood" that I am presently striving for. This is also not an exclusive list of what I think an adult is.)
I know that everyone is not out to confuse me, but honestly I'm sick of sorting out what my friends tell me and my mentors tell me and what my parents tell me and what God tells me. Somewhere along the line, the words of the ones that are right collide into a peaceful nugget of wisdom. I bet I will spend the rest of my life sorting out all these voices. I know that God is supposed to be a my sole "inner voice", but aside from that you have to acknowledge that God put other people in your life for a reason and what they say matters too.
In the end, I still hold to this with all my strength- "Love mercy, do justly, and walk humbly with your LORD."
P.S. Yes, it makes me feel really naked to not lock this entry. But I'm allowing you all to read it because deep down I need you to. You're welcome to leave comments, as usual. I need you consider what I've said and understand who I am before you hand me another piece of well-meaning advice or critique of how I was raised.