PWAC
From: Jason
Date: Apr 5, 2005 1:28 AM
It sounds like you would bring a vast amount of professional experience and insight to our staff. My question to you: is your preference for a managerial position or would you like a field position? From the description of your experience, abilities, and/or talents, it sounds like a managerial position may be more fitting. It would provide you with more options for creativity while still allowing option hands-on opportunities.
In observance of formalities we would need a typed resume listing your experience, qualifications, and please include at least three references, two professional and one personal.
Off the record, consider this my personal welcome and greetings to the PWAC staff, I look forward to working with you in a professional environment.
It sounds like you have worked things out with our trick, I am pleased.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rolling stone
Date: Apr 4, 2005 11:36 PM
-have provided community "services" to both local universities and correctional facilities.
-well versed in the art of "dirty talk"
-experienced with all types of animals, ranging from gerbils to horses.
-able to serve in a forceful manner
-able to be served in forceful manner
-ability to take commands and constructive criticism
-open to on the spot job training
-verbally expressive
-ability to remain quiet when necessary
-ability to expand vocal chords, throat, mouth...etc....
If this list is not thorough enough, I will be glad to provide you with a more extensive one. At this time, I must retire, as your latest trick has completely worn me out.
I look forward to further discussing these business opportunities with you in the upcoming days.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Apr 5, 2005 1:24 AM
It is clients like you that sometimes cause me to cry myself to sleep at night. Unpaid bills, mocking my polite attempts at collection. In Bubba we trust.
We always have job offerings and opportunities, nearly too many to list. Provide me with previous experience and your qualifications then I shall be able to tailor the list of available positions to you, as a person. Because people is what our business is about.
Bubba is big. And burly. And possibly even black, but at this point we can neither confirm nor deny these rumors.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rolling stone
Date: Apr 4, 2005 11:21 PM
(refraining from laughing)
I take you and your company very seriously. In fact, I was curious about the job opportunities you may be offering.
By Saturday, you will have your payment, gladly, although I'd be interested to see this Bubba character :)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Apr 5, 2005 1:18 AM
Bubba is no laughing matter. He moonlights are a ghetto fabulous collections agent for unscrupulous characters.
Glad you enjoyed the notice, apparently I do not have office on my pc so that was a two minute notepad job, yay me.
We are no laughing matter. Speak softly and carry a big stick, etc.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rolling stone
Date: Apr 4, 2005 10:51 PM
haha right.
i forgot to mention that that bill you drew up...
hilarious.
don't get me wrong, I know how serious you actually are.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Apr 4, 2005 11:24 PM
I will be expecting the first half of the payment by Saturday or else Bubba shall be paying you a visit.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 8:39 PM
like I said, you are damn good. I will continue to give you feedback on the progress of your tricks.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 10:33 PM
We have achieved entertainment, but not customer satisfaction. I suppose that is progress, yet that is not the true intention of our business. We aim to please and nothing less than screams of, 'more, give me more oral pleasure,' shall suffice.
The management at Pimps, Whores, and Air Conditioning appreciate your continued feedback and look forward to doing business with you and referred clientele in the future.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 8:05 PM
you sir, are immensely entertaining. I'm sure it will be a fun filled evening, I only wish i hadn't missed the "amazing round-a- bouts circus midget birthday blowout extravaganza. next time. anyway, I appreciate all of your assistance. Yours is by far one of the best businesses I've dealt with. I look forward to doing business with you and your tricks in the future. maybe next time I'll put an order in for the sheep from europe...I will let you know.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 9:45 PM
You seem to be quite the connoisseur. If you find the trick is below your standards and you wish to (re)train them, by all means let me know, and I will be willing to put them at your disposal.
Kerosane, sheep, candles, and cheez whiz. It sounds like someone may be in for a fun-filled evening of debaucherous hot buttered laps. I have not heard of such things in many a moon, at least not since the Amazing Round-a-bouts circus midget Birthday Blowout Extravaganza. Was that ever a party.
A word to the wise, be sure to pre-treat your sheep to extend their use.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 7:36 PM
lovely. the new zealand sheep will do just fine. and no flammable container necessary for the kerosene. thank you. you do fine work! now let's just hope you've taught your tricks a thing or two....
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 9:27 PM
As it happens we do have some sheep fresh from New Zealand. If you want the Eastern Europe variety instead that we would generally require at least two weeks notice.
-kerosene (with or without a flammable container?)
-cheese wiz
-unscented candles
These things are not a problem. I will also encourage my manwhore to ascertain whether or not other items currently in our inventory would be useful.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 2:01 PM
That sounds wonderful. I would ultimately enjoy having a sheep on hand, but I understand that may be difficult on short notice. If not, I can make due with some unscented candles, and a little bit of kerosene. oh and some of that cheez wiz would be nice.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 10:17 AM
Another try is truly an excellent plan. Next one will be free of charge, and I will have a service technician on standby just in case. Do you have any requests for additional items?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 22, 2005 8:42 PM
well shit. I don't know how to top that off. maybe i should just give this thing another try. magical herrings? brilliant.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 22, 2005 10:13 AM
We have a rigorous training program involving cheese whiz, magical herrings, and a team of Russian contortionists. What exactly are you suggesting?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 22, 2005 7:41 AM
I'm wondering...do your tricks go through any special training before you enlist them to participate in such services?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 22, 2005 2:27 AM
Do we need to arrange follow up visits to guarantee satisfaction? If that is not acceptable I will find a quality control manager to make sure our product is of the proper quality.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 21, 2005 8:11 PM
I was under the impression that there would be a "customer satisfaction" agreement.
hence, no, I have not paid.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 21, 2005 9:28 PM
rumor has it that the invoices being left addressed to you are not being paid.
please advise.
Date: Apr 5, 2005 1:28 AM
It sounds like you would bring a vast amount of professional experience and insight to our staff. My question to you: is your preference for a managerial position or would you like a field position? From the description of your experience, abilities, and/or talents, it sounds like a managerial position may be more fitting. It would provide you with more options for creativity while still allowing option hands-on opportunities.
In observance of formalities we would need a typed resume listing your experience, qualifications, and please include at least three references, two professional and one personal.
Off the record, consider this my personal welcome and greetings to the PWAC staff, I look forward to working with you in a professional environment.
It sounds like you have worked things out with our trick, I am pleased.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rolling stone
Date: Apr 4, 2005 11:36 PM
-have provided community "services" to both local universities and correctional facilities.
-well versed in the art of "dirty talk"
-experienced with all types of animals, ranging from gerbils to horses.
-able to serve in a forceful manner
-able to be served in forceful manner
-ability to take commands and constructive criticism
-open to on the spot job training
-verbally expressive
-ability to remain quiet when necessary
-ability to expand vocal chords, throat, mouth...etc....
If this list is not thorough enough, I will be glad to provide you with a more extensive one. At this time, I must retire, as your latest trick has completely worn me out.
I look forward to further discussing these business opportunities with you in the upcoming days.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Apr 5, 2005 1:24 AM
It is clients like you that sometimes cause me to cry myself to sleep at night. Unpaid bills, mocking my polite attempts at collection. In Bubba we trust.
We always have job offerings and opportunities, nearly too many to list. Provide me with previous experience and your qualifications then I shall be able to tailor the list of available positions to you, as a person. Because people is what our business is about.
Bubba is big. And burly. And possibly even black, but at this point we can neither confirm nor deny these rumors.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rolling stone
Date: Apr 4, 2005 11:21 PM
(refraining from laughing)
I take you and your company very seriously. In fact, I was curious about the job opportunities you may be offering.
By Saturday, you will have your payment, gladly, although I'd be interested to see this Bubba character :)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Apr 5, 2005 1:18 AM
Bubba is no laughing matter. He moonlights are a ghetto fabulous collections agent for unscrupulous characters.
Glad you enjoyed the notice, apparently I do not have office on my pc so that was a two minute notepad job, yay me.
We are no laughing matter. Speak softly and carry a big stick, etc.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rolling stone
Date: Apr 4, 2005 10:51 PM
haha right.
i forgot to mention that that bill you drew up...
hilarious.
don't get me wrong, I know how serious you actually are.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Apr 4, 2005 11:24 PM
I will be expecting the first half of the payment by Saturday or else Bubba shall be paying you a visit.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 8:39 PM
like I said, you are damn good. I will continue to give you feedback on the progress of your tricks.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 10:33 PM
We have achieved entertainment, but not customer satisfaction. I suppose that is progress, yet that is not the true intention of our business. We aim to please and nothing less than screams of, 'more, give me more oral pleasure,' shall suffice.
The management at Pimps, Whores, and Air Conditioning appreciate your continued feedback and look forward to doing business with you and referred clientele in the future.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 8:05 PM
you sir, are immensely entertaining. I'm sure it will be a fun filled evening, I only wish i hadn't missed the "amazing round-a- bouts circus midget birthday blowout extravaganza. next time. anyway, I appreciate all of your assistance. Yours is by far one of the best businesses I've dealt with. I look forward to doing business with you and your tricks in the future. maybe next time I'll put an order in for the sheep from europe...I will let you know.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 9:45 PM
You seem to be quite the connoisseur. If you find the trick is below your standards and you wish to (re)train them, by all means let me know, and I will be willing to put them at your disposal.
Kerosane, sheep, candles, and cheez whiz. It sounds like someone may be in for a fun-filled evening of debaucherous hot buttered laps. I have not heard of such things in many a moon, at least not since the Amazing Round-a-bouts circus midget Birthday Blowout Extravaganza. Was that ever a party.
A word to the wise, be sure to pre-treat your sheep to extend their use.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 7:36 PM
lovely. the new zealand sheep will do just fine. and no flammable container necessary for the kerosene. thank you. you do fine work! now let's just hope you've taught your tricks a thing or two....
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 9:27 PM
As it happens we do have some sheep fresh from New Zealand. If you want the Eastern Europe variety instead that we would generally require at least two weeks notice.
-kerosene (with or without a flammable container?)
-cheese wiz
-unscented candles
These things are not a problem. I will also encourage my manwhore to ascertain whether or not other items currently in our inventory would be useful.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 23, 2005 2:01 PM
That sounds wonderful. I would ultimately enjoy having a sheep on hand, but I understand that may be difficult on short notice. If not, I can make due with some unscented candles, and a little bit of kerosene. oh and some of that cheez wiz would be nice.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 23, 2005 10:17 AM
Another try is truly an excellent plan. Next one will be free of charge, and I will have a service technician on standby just in case. Do you have any requests for additional items?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 22, 2005 8:42 PM
well shit. I don't know how to top that off. maybe i should just give this thing another try. magical herrings? brilliant.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 22, 2005 10:13 AM
We have a rigorous training program involving cheese whiz, magical herrings, and a team of Russian contortionists. What exactly are you suggesting?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 22, 2005 7:41 AM
I'm wondering...do your tricks go through any special training before you enlist them to participate in such services?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 22, 2005 2:27 AM
Do we need to arrange follow up visits to guarantee satisfaction? If that is not acceptable I will find a quality control manager to make sure our product is of the proper quality.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: A girl with kaleidoscope eyes
Date: Mar 21, 2005 8:11 PM
I was under the impression that there would be a "customer satisfaction" agreement.
hence, no, I have not paid.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jason
Date: Mar 21, 2005 9:28 PM
rumor has it that the invoices being left addressed to you are not being paid.
please advise.