Fictitious Fiction
He knows he’s out of his depth. Every one knows.
It’s no secret that somehow a pint sized college freshman out does him in almost every aspect of his job, but he just can’t bring himself to care. She comes marching into his office, eyes blazing and a whole string of profanities right on the tip of her tongue, demanding he serve justice even if it means bending the rules. He sits back and smirks in response before shooting down every one of her ideas and suggestions on how he could do his job properly and where he should put his office equipment, all the while mentally kicking himself for not doing better.
For not being better.
He watches as she turns around and marches out of his office berating him mentally, her thoughts clearly printed across her face. Sighing, he leans forward, head in his hands trying without success to block out the guilt he still feels for the way he treated the broken little girl who came to him for help all those years ago and still keeps coming back expecting him to be halfway decent. She doesn’t seem to understand that he can’t help her, he can’t fix things. The guilt gnaws at him, the same guilt he feels for another little girl he couldn’t help and for the woman who tries to help him despite her own broken life. He doesn’t deserve his job. He doesn’t deserve to feel happy or in control. He doesn’t deserve to feel anything but guilty.
And he knows it alright.
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He knows he doesn’t deserve her. Every one knows.
It’s no secret that they wouldn’t be together if it wasn’t for the girl they both knew and loved long since lost to them. They wouldn’t be stuck in the constant love/hate loop that is their relationship if things had of worked out differently, but here they are and he can’t let her go, even though he knows he doesn’t deserve her. Even though he knows it’s over, that she isn’t coming back, he waits for her in the dark of his room, because she is the glue that holds him together, and he might just fall apart if he has to face the fact that she is gone for good. So instead he sits on his bed, hidden away from the world hoping no one will see him broken and alone, because he couldn’t bear it if they saw him this way.
He’s completely falling apart.
Laying back he stares up at the ceiling, because if he closes his eyes she’ll be there, dancing across his eyelids and taunting him with everything she is and everything he can’t have. He doesn’t want to move on, doesn’t want to let go of her.
But he doesn’t deserve her, and he knows it.
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He knows she doesn’t love him like that. Everyone knows.
It's no secret that her affections tend to lie with the more wealthy population of Neptune, and who can really blame her. Guys like him end up dead or in prison. At least the rich have some sort of longevity, the promise of a full life. What does he have to offer her? Nothing, that’s what, all he has are the dreams he’s too scared to voice and the attitude that tends to land him in a lot of trouble.
He’s going no where fast.
She walks up to him with that little head tilt, and all he can do is smile and nod, agree to do her dirty work and be grateful that he can count himself her friend, because that’s all a dead beat like him can hope for, right? He has no prospects, no direction and nothing to offer.
She’s out of his league, and he knows it.
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He knows she’ll have his back. Everyone knows.
It’s no secret that they’ll always be there for each other, twenty four seven and all that jazz, friends till the end, BFF. He’d take a bullet for her no problem, his super fly PI. It doesn’t make life easy having her as his friend. Hell no. Ever since the day he found himself taped but naked to the flag pole things have been interesting to say the least. But it's worth it cause she is definitely one special lady.
He’s always there for her.
But sometimes, just once in a while, he can’t help feeling a little put out. Like she sees him the same way she sees every one. A tool, an object. A means to an end. She’ll call and ask him to drop everything for her, and he does, then the shoes on the other foot, and he can’t help wondering if that flash of indecision was real or imagined. Before he can even blink however her minds all made up and she’s by his side, the two amigo’s facing the vileness residence of Neptune head on. He forgets his doubts and smiles, cause it’s not like she has let him down yet.
She’s always got his back, and he knows it.
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Ok, tell me what you think. I think it's finished, but I just don't know...