Awake late at night/in the morning
Well hello it has yet been a long time for me to write on here again and it seems that this place isn't as important to me anymore or maybe I dread having to come here to write my thoughts out, I'm always afraid that I will end up writing something down that isn't something that is normal for or from me, maybe I'm just scared of writing altogether but that's another story..well maybe... anyway it's 4:22 in the morning right now and I don't really feel like going to sleep right now even though I am completely tired, after being annoyed by people all day and having to take care of my 2 year old nephew pretty much all night but o well that is just the way things are right now. I miss my peace, the space in my brain, the room in my heart to feel like myself. It feels like these past few months and years I have been losing more and more of my mind everyday and my heart just doesn't have any room to feel what I want to feel, I need a break but how can get a brain, I can't seem to get myself to and I can't seem to get my mouth to say the words that I need to say so that I could have my happiness back but maybe someday I'll learn, maybe... Out of all this time, I finally got myself an interview at cvs, not really the job I was hoping for but you know a job is a job and I will be happy if they really hire me, maybe there will be a new path for me to walk on or maybe I should just open up my own paths.
I feel angry, sad, depressed, useless and burned out right now, it is sad that it seems that I have to wait till super early in the morning just to be left alone. I can't stand my girlfriend lately, I can't stand her family, they all drive me insane. I know I shouldn't ask such a question, one I already know the answer to. Would you stay with this kind of person, one who only seems to hurt you no matter what you do, should I find someone that I know deserves me, should I be with someone who makes me happy and not insane, am I wasting my time, I wonder what you think..but you don't have to answer, of course I'm wasting my time, of course...
I should write more in here, it feels nice. It feels like a great load has brushed away in the wind as if it were nothing but dirt and sand. I hope everyone is doing ok, write something and let me know..
I feel angry, sad, depressed, useless and burned out right now, it is sad that it seems that I have to wait till super early in the morning just to be left alone. I can't stand my girlfriend lately, I can't stand her family, they all drive me insane. I know I shouldn't ask such a question, one I already know the answer to. Would you stay with this kind of person, one who only seems to hurt you no matter what you do, should I find someone that I know deserves me, should I be with someone who makes me happy and not insane, am I wasting my time, I wonder what you think..but you don't have to answer, of course I'm wasting my time, of course...
I should write more in here, it feels nice. It feels like a great load has brushed away in the wind as if it were nothing but dirt and sand. I hope everyone is doing ok, write something and let me know..