Drunken dreams
She makes all of this overly complicated. I am lost. But what's new right? My dreams eat me alive.. My feelings are breaking through me slowly and I want something impossible to happen. Do you feel better when you read it? And look at it? Feel like you see me or know how I really am doing. Sometimes I wonder why we are together at all. I have a big problem with something I've tried to kill myself over to cope with. And you're the one who never trusted me. I wish this could reach you. All of you. So you'd hear me. I am drowning in a chuck and blair romance with no where to swim. No where to
Run. I'm defeated and waiting for this pathetic feeling to die out. I want to feel real again. Worthy. Worth anything at all. I wish you knew what I know you know. Why wasn't it ever good enough to keep you here. I'm so numbed to everything. I'm reaching, I have this overwhelming ache. An ache for something raw.. Something better than this. My breathing cuts in and out and the winter nights keep me stuck. Frozen in this. In what it once was. What heart break feels like.
It's true. What they say. I just can't tell them that it's my fault. Because I 100% don't feel good enough..for you. Not yet anyways.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.