Kung Fu Panda 2 REVIEWED! (Fennecritic Film Review)
Fennecritic Film Review Presents...
Kung-Fu Panda 2
I loved Kung-Fu Panda. It was not only entertaining because I am a furry, but it was actually a good movie. The flow was excellent. It was fun to watch (the fight scene choreography was brilliant), and the writing and voice acting was impeccable. So... it could really only go down from there...
I’m not being fair. Let me correct myself: its not precisely true that it could only go down from there, but there isn’t much space for upward mobility. Kung-Fu Panda is “up there” in terms of competent execution no matter how you look at it, and it gets extra points for being a furry film (although some points are lost on the lack of foxes!) Lets just say that I didn’t have much of a positive expectation for Kung-Fu Panda 2. The story arch of the “Dragon Warrior” is already completed at the end of the film... for it to have a similar feel, he would have to … what? Lose his powers and then relearn them? Essentially - yes. So I wasn’t sure how they would be able to pull off a similar feeling for Kung Fu Panda 2. The only way that I can think of where they could do it and not make it cheesy would require them to have a new lead character - perhaps with Poe as the sensei - passing on his experiences once he gets old. But from the previews I didn’t think that this would be the case... and it wasn’t.
Kung Fu Panda 2 is a bit of a clusterfuck. It tries very hard to stick to its roots without overtly pursuing the intense “training” aspect of the original film that created that wonderful buildup to the final showdown. They try to supplement this by having Poe learn his next lesson on the path to becoming a master - to learn “inner peace”. This is.... a bit weak. We were left with the impression that he was the ultimate Kung-Fu machine at the end of the first film... what happened? Apparently... nothing. He didn’t grow up any, nor did he seem to get any better really at Kung Fu. Tigress can still handily lay waste to his ass, despite the fact that he “figured out” some ultimate technique that she never mastered (in the first film) and also defeated the most powerful bad-guy in the land singlehandedly... the same guy who destroyed Tigress and all of her comrades *at once* earlier in the film. Of course, some credence must be given to Poe’s chub - his fat made him impervious to nerve strikes - but I think that only goes so far. Clearly the super bad dude had other Kung-Fu that Poe was able to overcome as well.
Kung-Fu Panda 2 picks up with an evil warlord using technology to end Kung-Fu. His ships scour the land for metal to smelt into cannons for his ships. Poe and company are sent to put an end to his reign of destruction. This time, however, its less about Poe’s future (becoming the Dragon Warrior) and more about his past (how he ended up living with a duck as a father in a noodle shop). I suppose this is a good subject because... I don’t know about you, but I also wondered why Poe’s dad is a fowl. The evil warlord that they seek is an albino peacock, and he is just *awesome*. Much-much cooler than the snow leopard villain in the first film... but I found it to be a bit of a letdown because he’s trying to destroy Kung-Fu, and yet he’s a fantastic Kung-Fu fighter. It’s especially fun to watch him fight. He battles fan-style using his tailfeathers as the fan, and he hides throwing knives in with his wing-feathers, and has badass metal claws on his feet. The insane stare of his red eyes does a lot for his convincingness as well. Definitely the coolest character in Kung-Fu Panda 2. But that’s really all it had that was better than the first film. #2 isn’t as well paced, the dialog is much much weaker, many elements from 1 do not carry over effectively to 2 (such as Poe’s complete inability to take on Tigress. He’s still one of the weaker fighters on the team, and spends most of his screen time as being comic relief). Many of the scenes are completely unbelievable (in 1, only the scenes at the end were overtly unbelievable, or were at the power of the villain. Villains with Deus Ex Machina or inexplicable powers are fine because it adds to the danger of the hero. Its when the hero pulls stuff out of their ass that a film becomes cheesy... and Panda 2 had some cheesy parts).
Ultimately I have to give Kung-Fu Panda 2 two-ears-drooped. I really didn’t enjoy it. It was confused and poorly-executed, and didn’t live up to its predecessor even in the slightest... even if it did have the better villain. If you still feel like seeing it after reading this review, you should make a judgement call on what format. There are plenty of good “big scenes”, but I’m not sure its worth the $11 or whatever your local theater charges just for some good wide-angle shots. However... I didn’t see it in 3D and maybe you can get more from it if you do that.
On one final note, there is a fairly long sequence where the heroes are in a Chinese Dragon costume and attack a bunch of people - mostly enemy guards - whom they attack by “eating” the guard, with the costume, beating them up once they’re inside, and then tossing them out the back. Vorephiles rejoice! It actually makes for a pretty good vore scene - from consumption to explusion (if you’re into that). Or at least I thought so. I was a little turned on.
Also... there are no foxes (again) :( Just letting you fluffies know.
Anyway - thanks for reading!
-jasp