351 Crossroads
Even the best
Fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words
Seem to rhyme
{Collide - Howie Day
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You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.
- Anthony Robbins
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Today, the questions about my future have seem to arise...again. And if it's anything, let's just say these are the questions I tend to avoid lately from everyone. I hate being reminded that I still have a life outside there to lead. I hate it when the thoughts start to haunt me every once in a while. They think I've never given a thought about it, but the fact is I do think about it every night. Every single damn night when I try to sleep. It gets frustrating. But in the end, I know it's reality. And that makes me feel even more sick.
At where I am right now, I'm definitely more concerned on what course I should take up this year more than worrying on which college I should go to. I can't decide what exactly do I want to major in. I'm afraid that the choice I make isn't the right one.
They tell me to choose according to my passion. The problem with myself is that I don't have a specific passion for something(or at least that's what I'm assuming since I'm indecisive). And passion isn't something you build overnight, heck over a year. It must've been something you've really give a thought about from the very beginning. Something which inspires you to keep the passion burning on. And I can't seem to find the answer to this.
My elder brother(who I deemed as too-smart-for-his-age), on the other hand, is doing his second year in National University of Singapore under a fully-funded scholarship. He's doing theoretical physics and also taking a great interest in cosmology. He's working to get his First Class Honors by the end of his 4-years course(if I recall correctly). Initially, many people never really understood his choice of field, heck even I found myself baffled. But later, we've come to realize that this has been his passion all these years. Back in his school days, back when he was a kid. My parents got him a telescope at age 11 for his birthday because of his interest in the stars. For what we thought was just a hobby or a past time for him, had turn out to be his version of future. He's doing what he does now because it is EXACTLY what he loves doing. He's doing this because he wants answers & explanations.
As for me, I love Maths, no doubt in my mind. I'm good with numbers ever since I could remember. I've considered accountancy for a rather long period of time, but recently I realized that it may not be where my heart lies best at. My elder brother believes it will bore me to death, he says a person like me wouldn't want to be doing that for the rest of my life. At first, I detest at his reasoning. But later I've come to realize that he may be right about me.
Lately, I've been thinking about pharmaceutical and chemical engineering. Back in school when I majored in Science, my two strong Science subjects were Physics and Chemistry. I always had a liking for Chemistry but ironically, my exam results always seemed to tell me otherwise. Somehow, SOME WAY, I tend to score higher marks for my Physics papers than my Chem papers. It's something I really can't explain up till now. Tho, my only logical explanation to this was because Physics was more about calculations and well, I love calculations. And this brings me to my third option which is mechanical engineering.
So I think it really comes down to those three as of now. And this leaves me on crossroads. Still undecided on which path I should take.
But no decision is made till my final results are out. Which is due in March. Long way to go, most definitely. But having to wait and think and re-think in this period of time is what frustrates me. Part of me feels like I already know the answer while I'm at this crossroads, but I'm holding back because everytime I think it's the right choice, I tend to have second thoughts.
Fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words
Seem to rhyme
{Collide - Howie Day
---------------------------------------------------
You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.
- Anthony Robbins
---------------------------------------------------
Today, the questions about my future have seem to arise...again. And if it's anything, let's just say these are the questions I tend to avoid lately from everyone. I hate being reminded that I still have a life outside there to lead. I hate it when the thoughts start to haunt me every once in a while. They think I've never given a thought about it, but the fact is I do think about it every night. Every single damn night when I try to sleep. It gets frustrating. But in the end, I know it's reality. And that makes me feel even more sick.
At where I am right now, I'm definitely more concerned on what course I should take up this year more than worrying on which college I should go to. I can't decide what exactly do I want to major in. I'm afraid that the choice I make isn't the right one.
They tell me to choose according to my passion. The problem with myself is that I don't have a specific passion for something(or at least that's what I'm assuming since I'm indecisive). And passion isn't something you build overnight, heck over a year. It must've been something you've really give a thought about from the very beginning. Something which inspires you to keep the passion burning on. And I can't seem to find the answer to this.
My elder brother(who I deemed as too-smart-for-his-age), on the other hand, is doing his second year in National University of Singapore under a fully-funded scholarship. He's doing theoretical physics and also taking a great interest in cosmology. He's working to get his First Class Honors by the end of his 4-years course(if I recall correctly). Initially, many people never really understood his choice of field, heck even I found myself baffled. But later, we've come to realize that this has been his passion all these years. Back in his school days, back when he was a kid. My parents got him a telescope at age 11 for his birthday because of his interest in the stars. For what we thought was just a hobby or a past time for him, had turn out to be his version of future. He's doing what he does now because it is EXACTLY what he loves doing. He's doing this because he wants answers & explanations.
As for me, I love Maths, no doubt in my mind. I'm good with numbers ever since I could remember. I've considered accountancy for a rather long period of time, but recently I realized that it may not be where my heart lies best at. My elder brother believes it will bore me to death, he says a person like me wouldn't want to be doing that for the rest of my life. At first, I detest at his reasoning. But later I've come to realize that he may be right about me.
Lately, I've been thinking about pharmaceutical and chemical engineering. Back in school when I majored in Science, my two strong Science subjects were Physics and Chemistry. I always had a liking for Chemistry but ironically, my exam results always seemed to tell me otherwise. Somehow, SOME WAY, I tend to score higher marks for my Physics papers than my Chem papers. It's something I really can't explain up till now. Tho, my only logical explanation to this was because Physics was more about calculations and well, I love calculations. And this brings me to my third option which is mechanical engineering.
So I think it really comes down to those three as of now. And this leaves me on crossroads. Still undecided on which path I should take.
But no decision is made till my final results are out. Which is due in March. Long way to go, most definitely. But having to wait and think and re-think in this period of time is what frustrates me. Part of me feels like I already know the answer while I'm at this crossroads, but I'm holding back because everytime I think it's the right choice, I tend to have second thoughts.