Validation?
Yes, validation. I feel validated. I feel like a writer again. I know it sounds strange but sometimes I wonder. I barely write these days, I feel as though I have no talent, no place, no hope. At one point I called myself a 'writer'. When someone asked what I was, I replied "writer" in no uncertain way. Then it changed to student, now it's somewhere between student and special needs carer. Writer just never seems to come up. To 'be' something, one must do that thing, right? Anyone can say they're an architech, but until they actually design a building they just want to be an architech.
So what makes me a writer. Technically, I do write. I don't do a lot of it at the moment, but I do write. I have written, I have finished things, therefor I am a writer. I am not a published writer, but I am a writer. I may be a writer but where is the place for my writing?
I admit a lot of the reason why I gave up was because of my interests. I'm writing for a very niche market, right? Slowly as my interests for female characters waned, so did any hope of my previous dreams becoming a reality. There was no way I would be published if my two main characters were men in love, there were no awards for that, no respect...
Boy, was I wrong. And I feel validated. My last two days have been spent searching in the wide and diverse world of gay literature and it has opened my eyes. There ARE awards for outstanding gay literature, there are publishers, and the genre's range as far and wide as any "hetero-lit" genre's. There is mystery, romance, fantasy, sci-fi, everything and anything.
And there is no rule on who can write what. I will not be demeaned for writing gay literature of any sort I like. I can write between two men, two woman, anything at all. The world is far more open, unlike what it may seem. Just because I'm not gay, I can still write gay literature just as well as anyone else. Which, when you think about it, is the way it should be. Writing isn't just about writing from experience, it's about stepping into another's shoes, about writing from a different perspective, taking on different characters. That is the heart of writing, and if the character I choose happens to be a gay male, then so be it. My next character might be a bi female, or an angrogynous android!
So I feel validated, inspired almost. There is a place for my writing out there, with awards, respect, publishers, money... Just the same as any other author. I can be an author, and I can do it under my terms. I wont be forced to change my male characters into female ones just to appease the masses. I can do what I want, I can write MY story.
And I feel happy.
So what makes me a writer. Technically, I do write. I don't do a lot of it at the moment, but I do write. I have written, I have finished things, therefor I am a writer. I am not a published writer, but I am a writer. I may be a writer but where is the place for my writing?
I admit a lot of the reason why I gave up was because of my interests. I'm writing for a very niche market, right? Slowly as my interests for female characters waned, so did any hope of my previous dreams becoming a reality. There was no way I would be published if my two main characters were men in love, there were no awards for that, no respect...
Boy, was I wrong. And I feel validated. My last two days have been spent searching in the wide and diverse world of gay literature and it has opened my eyes. There ARE awards for outstanding gay literature, there are publishers, and the genre's range as far and wide as any "hetero-lit" genre's. There is mystery, romance, fantasy, sci-fi, everything and anything.
And there is no rule on who can write what. I will not be demeaned for writing gay literature of any sort I like. I can write between two men, two woman, anything at all. The world is far more open, unlike what it may seem. Just because I'm not gay, I can still write gay literature just as well as anyone else. Which, when you think about it, is the way it should be. Writing isn't just about writing from experience, it's about stepping into another's shoes, about writing from a different perspective, taking on different characters. That is the heart of writing, and if the character I choose happens to be a gay male, then so be it. My next character might be a bi female, or an angrogynous android!
So I feel validated, inspired almost. There is a place for my writing out there, with awards, respect, publishers, money... Just the same as any other author. I can be an author, and I can do it under my terms. I wont be forced to change my male characters into female ones just to appease the masses. I can do what I want, I can write MY story.
And I feel happy.