wow where has the time gone
so so much has happened since i last posted here some good things and some bad things i dont even know where to start it feels like my life at times is take the route to the worse side i have good days then i have had bad days ... god its almost been a year since my dad killed himself tomorrow will be i think ither four or five years since i found out about my brother and my past life yeah i said it (past life) the little five year old blonde girl that froze to death in 1887 york maine yep thats me ...im not crazy not a bit there are just many hidden thing s about me but i know where my love for wolves come from
today my aunt and uncle and cousin were supposed to come over they havent so far im kinda glad i dont know how i can look at my aunt and uncle without crying im so sorry for what i did when i was younger (about 2 years ago my cousin roary was driving drunk and he slammed in to a telephone poll and was split in half) i was only 6 and i killed his favourite ferret luke i didnt mean too and im so afraid that roary died still pissed at me and never forgave me i remember when it all went down and i had heard what i did i was crying my eyes out for day and when i heard that roary died i flipped that hurt so bad im only a year younger then him too
im strong so many people say that they all are amazaed with all the things that i have been through that i am still walking let alone i havent killed myself yet even now i still endure tourture and thats not fun at night i hear voices and shit ive even heard my dad and demanded that he leave me be then i have nightmares and shit my head filled with things that i dont want to become im scared i really am through the whole time that i was attpemting to mourn my dad my mom wouldnt let me she was so hard about it i havent even gotten clourse for that how do you find that in side of you how do you say good bye to your one and only father knowing that when you get older he cant share in the joys of your life he can never have my father daughter dance or be there if i gradute or be a grandfather to my future kid(s) and that i can never see him again except what little memories that i have of him im so afraid that he went out thinking that i was a fool i was so stupid when i was with him i should have been better i should have made a better impression i dont want to be a fool and i dont want to hurt people and i dont want to be a angry person in life that never found herself
ill write more later idk...
wow yeah im repeating a lot shows how much i pay attenion to what i say
today my aunt and uncle and cousin were supposed to come over they havent so far im kinda glad i dont know how i can look at my aunt and uncle without crying im so sorry for what i did when i was younger (about 2 years ago my cousin roary was driving drunk and he slammed in to a telephone poll and was split in half) i was only 6 and i killed his favourite ferret luke i didnt mean too and im so afraid that roary died still pissed at me and never forgave me i remember when it all went down and i had heard what i did i was crying my eyes out for day and when i heard that roary died i flipped that hurt so bad im only a year younger then him too
im strong so many people say that they all are amazaed with all the things that i have been through that i am still walking let alone i havent killed myself yet even now i still endure tourture and thats not fun at night i hear voices and shit ive even heard my dad and demanded that he leave me be then i have nightmares and shit my head filled with things that i dont want to become im scared i really am through the whole time that i was attpemting to mourn my dad my mom wouldnt let me she was so hard about it i havent even gotten clourse for that how do you find that in side of you how do you say good bye to your one and only father knowing that when you get older he cant share in the joys of your life he can never have my father daughter dance or be there if i gradute or be a grandfather to my future kid(s) and that i can never see him again except what little memories that i have of him im so afraid that he went out thinking that i was a fool i was so stupid when i was with him i should have been better i should have made a better impression i dont want to be a fool and i dont want to hurt people and i dont want to be a angry person in life that never found herself
ill write more later idk...
wow yeah im repeating a lot shows how much i pay attenion to what i say