K, APPARENTLY I DO...
Ok, maybe SUCKER isn't the correct word to say is written across my forehead.. maybe hopeful is better?? We'll see.. spent part of the weekend with v.. after telling him on the 3rd, that that was the day I had decided on back in March when I got out of the hospital, as the day I would give up. And I tried to (after being called a baby killer the weekend before- it really was a no brainer), and he said he understood and that he was sorry... all of a sudden he calls me a few days later cuz he can't sleep. Calls me FRIday night on his way to work. Comes over saturday morning. Spent the day drinking and talking- (with a little crying in for good measure)And sexin'... actually I should say fucking, because that's what it was... don't get me wrong, it was a blast..but i totally felt just like some broad he was banging.. it was rough sex, reallllly rough sex, great sex, but just sex.. i guess thats what i want- to make the transisiton to him being just one of the guys that i fool around with.. but god damn it i love the guy..sigh... he left at 4am on sunday to go home and get all his shit together for the sisters wedding, but he came back last night to spend the night with me...he left again this morning when I got up for work.. now... what the hell am i supposed to do????