he's just not that into you
livejournal since 2003, really?
lame.
it asked me if i wanted to "restore saved draft" so of course i did, ya know, to see what it said.. especially considering i haven't touched this thing since 2008.. and ya know what it was? the complete lyrics to "do it for me now."
bogus.
i was thinking yesterday about how i don't want to be someone who's mood and outlook on the day is solely based on how one person has made me feel. how can i avoid being that person? because the truth is, i've always been that person.
how do you stop the over-dramatic, over-reacting?
the past few days have been a blur of confusion and cupcakes.
i feel like i should have more important things to write down.. here i've started this whole new life 2,000 miles away from home and there are so many opportunities available for me to take hold of.. and i'm grumbling about a boy.
sigh.
but it's not just about a boy. it never really is i guess.
how do you connect with new people?
the friends i have from home i've known since high school.
the people here accept me because i'm a friend of a friend. and they're all really nice and i love hanging out with them.. but at this point they're not my friends. they're someone elses.
i don't know anything about anyone.
they don't know anything about me.
last nite i was just sitting there thinking i don't fit in with these people. we're too different with our lifestyles and taste in music. it's a cynical way to look at it, i know. it's perfectly normal for different people to form crazy bonds..
i just feel like i'm never going to get there.
especially with how crazy my schedule is going to be.
busy and alone with work and school all week and then weekends free.
i can't party til 5 am with these people every weekend... i'm an old lady now, i'm lucky if i can make it til bar close.
maybe that's why i got so excited over the prospect of a boy,
if i had a boyfriend there would be no worry about spending every weekend alone, hoping i'd find someone to spend some time with.
just knowing that there was always going to be someone there.
but i'm socially awkward and have been single for two years. i don't know how to make those things happen.
i don't know how to act at all.
i'm pretty sure i've done everything i can to let this kid know i'm interested.
he is just clearly not.
and don't even get me started about philadelphia.
whoever made it possible to fall in love with an idea... well..
::shakes fist::
apparently living here is going to be just like living at home when it comes to dating.
just hotter and with less friends.
and now there's one more state of boys to tap dance on my heart.
jesus christ, build a bridge.
lame.
it asked me if i wanted to "restore saved draft" so of course i did, ya know, to see what it said.. especially considering i haven't touched this thing since 2008.. and ya know what it was? the complete lyrics to "do it for me now."
bogus.
i was thinking yesterday about how i don't want to be someone who's mood and outlook on the day is solely based on how one person has made me feel. how can i avoid being that person? because the truth is, i've always been that person.
how do you stop the over-dramatic, over-reacting?
the past few days have been a blur of confusion and cupcakes.
i feel like i should have more important things to write down.. here i've started this whole new life 2,000 miles away from home and there are so many opportunities available for me to take hold of.. and i'm grumbling about a boy.
sigh.
but it's not just about a boy. it never really is i guess.
how do you connect with new people?
the friends i have from home i've known since high school.
the people here accept me because i'm a friend of a friend. and they're all really nice and i love hanging out with them.. but at this point they're not my friends. they're someone elses.
i don't know anything about anyone.
they don't know anything about me.
last nite i was just sitting there thinking i don't fit in with these people. we're too different with our lifestyles and taste in music. it's a cynical way to look at it, i know. it's perfectly normal for different people to form crazy bonds..
i just feel like i'm never going to get there.
especially with how crazy my schedule is going to be.
busy and alone with work and school all week and then weekends free.
i can't party til 5 am with these people every weekend... i'm an old lady now, i'm lucky if i can make it til bar close.
maybe that's why i got so excited over the prospect of a boy,
if i had a boyfriend there would be no worry about spending every weekend alone, hoping i'd find someone to spend some time with.
just knowing that there was always going to be someone there.
but i'm socially awkward and have been single for two years. i don't know how to make those things happen.
i don't know how to act at all.
i'm pretty sure i've done everything i can to let this kid know i'm interested.
he is just clearly not.
and don't even get me started about philadelphia.
whoever made it possible to fall in love with an idea... well..
::shakes fist::
apparently living here is going to be just like living at home when it comes to dating.
just hotter and with less friends.
and now there's one more state of boys to tap dance on my heart.
jesus christ, build a bridge.