Chapter #30
“We met when we are in university. He was my roommate for two different semesters and my classmate for two of my classes. My senses told me that he might be a gay, but I didn’t care. We click well and share quite a lot of similar interests. I knew that he isn’t that easy to fall in love, but I just had to fall hard for him to the extent it really kills me inside. It took me quite a while to win him over as mine. I love him so much, that I’m willing to die at his place. We’ve been together for the rest of our university life and till we are working. So are both of our best friends back then, they became a couple before we did and they last almost the same time as us. Sadly, because of Yunho hyung’s work Jaejoong hyung was neglected and as a result they quarrel frequently and drift apart from each other as they go on. Eventually they broke up. Junsu and me were affected badly since they are our best friends. We made a promise with each other that we won’t end up like what our best friends did.” Yoochun narrated, sipping his tequila from time to time. Eunhyuk drinks his martini as he listens.
“I would say hell start breaking loose a few months later when my workload got more and lesser time to really talk to him. I guess that’s what causes him to paranoid and in the midst of it, I didn’t realise I’m treating him coldly and all. Because of all these, I guess he decided to leave. As a stupid fool, I didn’t know he was gone till a few days later. I guess he already went to find you that time. Loneliness crept into my being and together with the promise I failed to keep, it’s totally killer. I searched for him everywhere. From his house, his favourite places… I even tried contacting him but all to no avail. Totally can’t accept the fact that he left my life so suddenly, I began locking myself in our house. Skipping work and all because I’m afraid that my only place that’s full of him will leave me too. Crying my heart out, skipping my meals and sleeping through was what I did for weeks. Say Yoochun while gripping his tequila-filled glass as a support, afraid that he might have another breakdown in front of Eunhyuk. “So what happen next, I mean you can just die back then by what you did.” Eunhyuk probe more as he watch Yoochun gripping to his glass tightly, hoping the question can help him control some of his emotions.
“True enough, I will have been dead if it hasn’t been Yunho hyung that help me.” Yoochun said gratefully. “Go on, I’m listening.” Eunhyuk say, sipping his martini. “Apparently, I’m too weak to even move a step away from my bed. Hyung found me unconscious lying on the floor, and according to him I was running a temperature too. I totally have no idea what I was doing back then. I woke up in hospital and the doctors found me having thoughts of suicide and major grieving which further diagnosed me as having severe depression as I enclosed myself even more after I know about the illness. Hyung was sad that I became like this… he blamed Junsu for the cause of my behaviour. He woke me up from this when he exploded on me one day when he can’t take it anymore. Eventually I start attending therapies in order to get back to work faster. That’s when Donghae came in and become my manager.” Listening to Yoochun’s side of the story, Eunhyuk can’t really put the blame on him neither can he put it on Junsu. But he can see that Yoochun really loves Junsu a lot, and that Junsu is being a stupid escaper again from what he felt though Junsu didn’t tell him his part of the story. He felt the burden of Junsu, what can you say about being the cause of your boyfriend’s depression? No one expected and neither anyone wants it.
/* Guilty? Partly correct, but is that all? Explanations? No explanations, nothing and run away. Kim Junsu that’s what you only know right? Are you dumb or are you just plain stupid? */
On the other side of the world, he is watching videos after videos of dance tutorials from his laptop again and again. Enrolling himself into a school, trying to learn more moves to enhance his current skills. He finds it beneficial to him since he is a dance instructor. At last, after watching how many hours of tutorials he finally stops for a break. He took out his phone and stare, wondering whether he should give a call.
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“I would say hell start breaking loose a few months later when my workload got more and lesser time to really talk to him. I guess that’s what causes him to paranoid and in the midst of it, I didn’t realise I’m treating him coldly and all. Because of all these, I guess he decided to leave. As a stupid fool, I didn’t know he was gone till a few days later. I guess he already went to find you that time. Loneliness crept into my being and together with the promise I failed to keep, it’s totally killer. I searched for him everywhere. From his house, his favourite places… I even tried contacting him but all to no avail. Totally can’t accept the fact that he left my life so suddenly, I began locking myself in our house. Skipping work and all because I’m afraid that my only place that’s full of him will leave me too. Crying my heart out, skipping my meals and sleeping through was what I did for weeks. Say Yoochun while gripping his tequila-filled glass as a support, afraid that he might have another breakdown in front of Eunhyuk. “So what happen next, I mean you can just die back then by what you did.” Eunhyuk probe more as he watch Yoochun gripping to his glass tightly, hoping the question can help him control some of his emotions.
“True enough, I will have been dead if it hasn’t been Yunho hyung that help me.” Yoochun said gratefully. “Go on, I’m listening.” Eunhyuk say, sipping his martini. “Apparently, I’m too weak to even move a step away from my bed. Hyung found me unconscious lying on the floor, and according to him I was running a temperature too. I totally have no idea what I was doing back then. I woke up in hospital and the doctors found me having thoughts of suicide and major grieving which further diagnosed me as having severe depression as I enclosed myself even more after I know about the illness. Hyung was sad that I became like this… he blamed Junsu for the cause of my behaviour. He woke me up from this when he exploded on me one day when he can’t take it anymore. Eventually I start attending therapies in order to get back to work faster. That’s when Donghae came in and become my manager.” Listening to Yoochun’s side of the story, Eunhyuk can’t really put the blame on him neither can he put it on Junsu. But he can see that Yoochun really loves Junsu a lot, and that Junsu is being a stupid escaper again from what he felt though Junsu didn’t tell him his part of the story. He felt the burden of Junsu, what can you say about being the cause of your boyfriend’s depression? No one expected and neither anyone wants it.
/* Guilty? Partly correct, but is that all? Explanations? No explanations, nothing and run away. Kim Junsu that’s what you only know right? Are you dumb or are you just plain stupid? */
On the other side of the world, he is watching videos after videos of dance tutorials from his laptop again and again. Enrolling himself into a school, trying to learn more moves to enhance his current skills. He finds it beneficial to him since he is a dance instructor. At last, after watching how many hours of tutorials he finally stops for a break. He took out his phone and stare, wondering whether he should give a call.
Previous || Next