Food, Gays and School-Aged Kids
Tonight we had Manwich. . . and not the kind with the toned body and the eyes that smile at you. Not the kind where you can stare for hours as the drool dribbles down your chin and floods your cubicle at work. But the kind I'm talking about is definitely hot, juicy and beefy (even though it was ground turkey, with green beans and corn-on-the-cob as side dishes).
I honestly don't know what is up with the food obsession of late. Maybe it's the fact that for once in my life, I've made a more attentive effort to do something positive with my body. Thirty years into life, I've finally decided to take the bull by the horns, and look for the leanest cut of of meat he has to offer - like the 93/7 or 85/15 meats you find in the grocery stores.
Speaking of fat content, maybe we, as superior beings, should walk around with the same kind of labeling on our packaging. It would definitely make dating easier. Gays (and I suppose straights) would finally!!! be able to cruise the bar and choose the "60/40" (chubs) or the" 85/15" (chasers) they wanted. No longer would there be a need to sit and wonder if the clothing was bagging or "what they were hiding."
It almost reminds of the joke I heard when I was in middle school. Well, it was actually an elementary school because we country folks weren't fancy enough to have several school buildings. In fact, there were only 13 students in my class when I gradumacated from 8th grade. Maybe 100 hundred in the entire school.
So, the joke goes like this. Anytime a rich, fat kid wore a pair of Guess jeans, we would follow him (or her) around guessing their weight by saying things like, "100 lbs? 150? 300?" Looking back, I find it strange that people in the country could afford Guess jeans (or overalls). Anyway, it was just typical kid banter. But, of course, we thought it was funny. Then the fat kid would tell us to shut up. Naturally what followed was something like, "I don't shut up, I throw up. And then you come around the corner and lick it up." Of course, there are many variations of that. But all of them involve vomit.
Young whipper snappers probably still talk a lot about vomit. Except, in today's society, "yo mama" probably licks it up...either because she's so fat or so stupid. Kids are funny.
I honestly don't know what is up with the food obsession of late. Maybe it's the fact that for once in my life, I've made a more attentive effort to do something positive with my body. Thirty years into life, I've finally decided to take the bull by the horns, and look for the leanest cut of of meat he has to offer - like the 93/7 or 85/15 meats you find in the grocery stores.
Speaking of fat content, maybe we, as superior beings, should walk around with the same kind of labeling on our packaging. It would definitely make dating easier. Gays (and I suppose straights) would finally!!! be able to cruise the bar and choose the "60/40" (chubs) or the" 85/15" (chasers) they wanted. No longer would there be a need to sit and wonder if the clothing was bagging or "what they were hiding."
It almost reminds of the joke I heard when I was in middle school. Well, it was actually an elementary school because we country folks weren't fancy enough to have several school buildings. In fact, there were only 13 students in my class when I gradumacated from 8th grade. Maybe 100 hundred in the entire school.
So, the joke goes like this. Anytime a rich, fat kid wore a pair of Guess jeans, we would follow him (or her) around guessing their weight by saying things like, "100 lbs? 150? 300?" Looking back, I find it strange that people in the country could afford Guess jeans (or overalls). Anyway, it was just typical kid banter. But, of course, we thought it was funny. Then the fat kid would tell us to shut up. Naturally what followed was something like, "I don't shut up, I throw up. And then you come around the corner and lick it up." Of course, there are many variations of that. But all of them involve vomit.
Young whipper snappers probably still talk a lot about vomit. Except, in today's society, "yo mama" probably licks it up...either because she's so fat or so stupid. Kids are funny.
