(no subject)
Well, it has come to my attention that I am a complete fuckup. Well, maybe not complete, but when I fuck something up, I do tend to fuck it up pretty completely.
Not to say that everything is going so bad. I am enjoying my second job. It's tougher than I thought it would be - I guess I am more of a wuss than I thought I was. Been sitting on my ass for too long. I guess typing for 4 years doesn't do much for the ol' cardio-vascular system, not to mention abs, pecs, triceps, or any other muscle group. But I'm getting used to the physical part of it, and it should get better as it goes on. My body is sore and tired, and my elbows hurt most of the time. But I'm sticking with it. The people I'm working with are an interesting mix of personalities, and there have been very few times that I have found myself not enjoying the experience, even if it has been difficult for me. The serious plus here is that even though I am pysically spent most of the time, I am getting some badly needed exercise. I've been there less than two weeks (and only 3 nights a week) and my flabby ass is already finding more energy, more strength, and that my clothes already fit better. Not to mention that some of the anxiety and mood problems that I have been experiencing the past couple of years seem to be getting better. Exercise is a miracle vitamin. I'm tired and sore, and I feel like I'm about 60 years old most of the time, but nonetheless I feel better than I have in a long time.
And on a personal note... I don't usually like to divulge really personal information in the words I spread over a global network (it's been proven to cause undue drama), but I just want to say that there are people out there that have been hurt by my actions of late, my confusion, and my hypocrisy... And I would just like to appologize to those people. They know who they are. I am an idiot. This has been no secret for quite a long time. I know appologies mean little at times.... The guilt and anger will always be mine, but hopefully forgiveness and understanding will be mine as well someday.
-J
Not to say that everything is going so bad. I am enjoying my second job. It's tougher than I thought it would be - I guess I am more of a wuss than I thought I was. Been sitting on my ass for too long. I guess typing for 4 years doesn't do much for the ol' cardio-vascular system, not to mention abs, pecs, triceps, or any other muscle group. But I'm getting used to the physical part of it, and it should get better as it goes on. My body is sore and tired, and my elbows hurt most of the time. But I'm sticking with it. The people I'm working with are an interesting mix of personalities, and there have been very few times that I have found myself not enjoying the experience, even if it has been difficult for me. The serious plus here is that even though I am pysically spent most of the time, I am getting some badly needed exercise. I've been there less than two weeks (and only 3 nights a week) and my flabby ass is already finding more energy, more strength, and that my clothes already fit better. Not to mention that some of the anxiety and mood problems that I have been experiencing the past couple of years seem to be getting better. Exercise is a miracle vitamin. I'm tired and sore, and I feel like I'm about 60 years old most of the time, but nonetheless I feel better than I have in a long time.
And on a personal note... I don't usually like to divulge really personal information in the words I spread over a global network (it's been proven to cause undue drama), but I just want to say that there are people out there that have been hurt by my actions of late, my confusion, and my hypocrisy... And I would just like to appologize to those people. They know who they are. I am an idiot. This has been no secret for quite a long time. I know appologies mean little at times.... The guilt and anger will always be mine, but hopefully forgiveness and understanding will be mine as well someday.
-J