Of Angst and Annoyance
Oh, my dear eljay. How much angst have we been through together? Through relationships both fair and VERY foul, through sorrow and consolation and recovery and renewal.
I have... well, I suppose I have a friend of sorts. More an acquaintance than a friend, I suppose. And said friend is bemoaning his being single.
I, of course, have been effectively single for multiple years (since I made the mistake of letting my emotional claustrophobia drive away the last person who cared about me), albeit not entirely due to not trying. I just... well, I suppose I've let myself go. Go further, I mean. Unless you count round (which is *a* shape, yes, but not *in* shape), that is.
Now, the interesting thing about this friend is that he was introduced to me by a mutual friend, who believed we'd hit it off and all would be sunshine and rainbows.
This did not occur. We met, we talked, I thought we got along, then radio silence from him. I tried contacting him several times -- spaced out, not all at once, I'm not some sort of stalker -- to which I would receive either terse replies or none at all. My assumption? The interest is purely one-sided and he wanted nothing further to do with me.
Then he selected possibly the most deceitful, backstabbing, underhanded person in Tucson to go out with, someone who kept any number (no, I still don't know how many) lies in circulation about anyone and everyone, just to keep the attention focused on him. He fell for the suave act, I suppose, and didn't look any deeper.
Then that ended. (For those keeping score, I mentioned something towards the prequel to this event on my Facebook. If you're reading this but don't have my FB, look it up. Shouldn't be hard to find, given my name.)
Keep in mind... most of this I'm getting via the occasional FB update, because while he doesn't talk to me, he accepted my friend request there, so I see his posts... and, possibly, he sees mine... but no direct communication exists.
Then, he's talking about talking to the most perfect person in the world... and then immediately warps to the "I am single and will be forever because I am unlovable" song. (I know that song well... I've sung it many a time.)
The painful irony of the situation is, whether or not he realizes, I can see this. I see him saying how he's lonely and unlovable and all this... but I'm right here. Not that I'm asking him to lower his standards (which, clearly, would be necessary), but it's bitterly ironic that someone I longed (or long, depending on your perspective and the individual moment) after is utterly oblivious (deliberately or otherwise) to the fact.
Whatever. I'll get over him, just like I get over everyone else who I've loved and lost, or never got to love.
I have... well, I suppose I have a friend of sorts. More an acquaintance than a friend, I suppose. And said friend is bemoaning his being single.
I, of course, have been effectively single for multiple years (since I made the mistake of letting my emotional claustrophobia drive away the last person who cared about me), albeit not entirely due to not trying. I just... well, I suppose I've let myself go. Go further, I mean. Unless you count round (which is *a* shape, yes, but not *in* shape), that is.
Now, the interesting thing about this friend is that he was introduced to me by a mutual friend, who believed we'd hit it off and all would be sunshine and rainbows.
This did not occur. We met, we talked, I thought we got along, then radio silence from him. I tried contacting him several times -- spaced out, not all at once, I'm not some sort of stalker -- to which I would receive either terse replies or none at all. My assumption? The interest is purely one-sided and he wanted nothing further to do with me.
Then he selected possibly the most deceitful, backstabbing, underhanded person in Tucson to go out with, someone who kept any number (no, I still don't know how many) lies in circulation about anyone and everyone, just to keep the attention focused on him. He fell for the suave act, I suppose, and didn't look any deeper.
Then that ended. (For those keeping score, I mentioned something towards the prequel to this event on my Facebook. If you're reading this but don't have my FB, look it up. Shouldn't be hard to find, given my name.)
Keep in mind... most of this I'm getting via the occasional FB update, because while he doesn't talk to me, he accepted my friend request there, so I see his posts... and, possibly, he sees mine... but no direct communication exists.
Then, he's talking about talking to the most perfect person in the world... and then immediately warps to the "I am single and will be forever because I am unlovable" song. (I know that song well... I've sung it many a time.)
The painful irony of the situation is, whether or not he realizes, I can see this. I see him saying how he's lonely and unlovable and all this... but I'm right here. Not that I'm asking him to lower his standards (which, clearly, would be necessary), but it's bitterly ironic that someone I longed (or long, depending on your perspective and the individual moment) after is utterly oblivious (deliberately or otherwise) to the fact.
Whatever. I'll get over him, just like I get over everyone else who I've loved and lost, or never got to love.