Fic: You're not alone (Private Practice)
Title: You're not alone
Author: jas_mien
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character: Addison/NoahSummary: What if something happens to Addison that forces Noah to make a decision?
When Addison woke up the next morning Noah was still sitting on her bedside.
“Hey.” Addison stirred.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
He caressed her cheek and pushed a strand of hair out of her face.
“Still tired.”
“Any pain?”
He asked concerned.
Addison wriggled her head.
“A little. Drugs are working though.”
The door opened and Dr. Brown walked it.
He was one of he best O.Bs on the west coast, behind Addison of course. He wasn't working in LA but in San Diego but Naomi had done everything to get him here and operate on Addison.
“Dr. Montgomery.”
He shook her hand.
“Dr. Brown.”
Addison nodded at him.
“You're having a big day ahead of you. Do you have any more questions concerning the procedure?”
Addison gave a weak smile.
“Thanks. But I have performed this kind of surgery several times myself. So, no I don't.”
“Okay then, the nurses will get you in about 15 minutes and prepare you for the surgery.”
Addison nodded, unable to say anything more.
After Dr. Brown had left the room Addison stared at the ceiling, tears pooling in her eyes.
“You know, I always wanted a baby. I actually came to LA for it but my chances to get pregnant are not very high. This surgery is reducing them even more.”
Noah squeezed her hand and made her look at him.
“Don't think about this right now, Addison. The surgery will be successful and then you still have a chance.”
Addison nodded at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I'm scared.”
Noah bent over to her and hugged her.
“I know. It's gonna be alright.”
A few minutes later two nurses entered the room and brought Addison into the OR.
XxX
The next two hours, Dr. Noah Barnes walked up and down the hallway in front of the OR. He was a physician, he believed in science, in knowledge, in skills. But today ... today he prayed. He prayed for the surgery to be successful and that it wasn't cancer. He prayed for the love of his life to survive. Addison just had to be alright.
And he forgot one important thing before she was wheeled into the OR. He forgot to tell her that he loved her.
XxX
Addison woke up a few minutes after she was brought into a room in the ICU. Just a precaution because the doctors wanted to monitor her for the next 24 hours. Usually Noah wouldn't be allowed here, good thing he was a doctor in this hospital.
Noah walked into the room and it broke his heart to see Addison like this. She looked so pale and fragile.
Addison blinked with her eyes and tried to stay awake, the anesthesia not fully worn off, yet. Noah walked to her side and took her hand which still had an IV needle in it.
“How are you feeling?”
Addison swallowed.
“Tired ... little sore.”
She closed her eyes again for a while.
“Have you heard anything, yet?”
Addison turned her head and looked at Noah.
“No.”
He whispered and shook his head.
At this moment the door opened and Dr. Brown walked in with Addison's chart in his hands.
He smiled at her.
“The surgery was successful so far.”
Noah looked up, alarmed.
“So far?”
Dr. Brown nodded.
“We could remove most of it without taking out the ovary. We sent it down to pathology and should get the results back in two days.”
“Two days?”
Noah exclaimed.
“And if you find cancerous cells you have to go back in and remove the ovary as well.”
Addison stated matter-of- factly.
Dr. Brown nodded.
“And we would have to run some more tests to see if it already spread. But let's all hope that that's not the case.”
Addison nodded.
“Thank you.”
Dr. Brown gave her a weak smile and left the room.
Addison turned to Noah and squeezed his hand.
“You should go home to Morgan.”
“She's with her brother, they don't see each other that often.”
Addison sighed.
Noah looked at her and understood.
“You want to be alone?”
Addison nodded.
“Don't get me wrong, I love you being here. But that doesn't change the fact that you're married. I'm tired Noah and ... I need some time to think.”
Noah stood up and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“Okay but ... can I come back later?”
Addison nodded and Noah could see in her eyes how much she wanted him here.
He opened the door and turned around again to give her a smile. A smile that sent goosebumps over Addison's skin.
Then he left her room.
XxX
The rest of the day went by uneventful. Naomi came to visit her friend and stayed for some hours to cheer Addison up. The others came as soon as the practice had closed for the day to check on her and brought some flowers, which had be stored with the nurses because they were not allowed in the ICU. Doctors! They only stayed for half an hour and took Naomi with them when they left. Addison was glad when everyone was gone because quite frankly Naomi was not good in cheering up but only annoying.
After a while the door opened and Noah entered with a single red rose in his hand. Addison wondered how he got it past the nurses.
He walked over to her and handed Addison the rose.
“Remember how I told you you are not alone, yesterday?”
Addison swallowed and nodded.
“I meant it. I will be here for you no matter what. I will be by your side and make sure you're okay.”
Addison just stared at him, unable to say anything.
“I love you., Addison. I love you so much that it gives me physical pain to see you here. In this bed, hurting and scared. I don't want to loose you. I need you.”
Addison gave up on suppressing the tears and just let them roll down her face.
“What about Morgan?”
She whispered.
Noah sat down on her bed and took her hand.
“I left her.”
“No.”
Addison was torn between two feelings right now. She was unbelievably happy and pictured the two of them together, how happy they could be. But she also felt this huge lump of guilt in her throat.
“But she needs you, Noah.”
“So do you.”
Addison new he was right. She did need him.
“What about the baby? Your child?”
Addison felt a shiver going down her spine when she saw the sadness in Noah's eyes.
“We'll figure something out.”
“Don't do this.”
“What?”
“Don't choose me over your child, Noah.”
“I can't not choose you, Addison. And I won't give up my child. But for now you are all that matters.”
Author: jas_mien
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character: Addison/NoahSummary: What if something happens to Addison that forces Noah to make a decision?
When Addison woke up the next morning Noah was still sitting on her bedside.
“Hey.” Addison stirred.
“Hey. How are you feeling?”
He caressed her cheek and pushed a strand of hair out of her face.
“Still tired.”
“Any pain?”
He asked concerned.
Addison wriggled her head.
“A little. Drugs are working though.”
The door opened and Dr. Brown walked it.
He was one of he best O.Bs on the west coast, behind Addison of course. He wasn't working in LA but in San Diego but Naomi had done everything to get him here and operate on Addison.
“Dr. Montgomery.”
He shook her hand.
“Dr. Brown.”
Addison nodded at him.
“You're having a big day ahead of you. Do you have any more questions concerning the procedure?”
Addison gave a weak smile.
“Thanks. But I have performed this kind of surgery several times myself. So, no I don't.”
“Okay then, the nurses will get you in about 15 minutes and prepare you for the surgery.”
Addison nodded, unable to say anything more.
After Dr. Brown had left the room Addison stared at the ceiling, tears pooling in her eyes.
“You know, I always wanted a baby. I actually came to LA for it but my chances to get pregnant are not very high. This surgery is reducing them even more.”
Noah squeezed her hand and made her look at him.
“Don't think about this right now, Addison. The surgery will be successful and then you still have a chance.”
Addison nodded at him, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I'm scared.”
Noah bent over to her and hugged her.
“I know. It's gonna be alright.”
A few minutes later two nurses entered the room and brought Addison into the OR.
XxX
The next two hours, Dr. Noah Barnes walked up and down the hallway in front of the OR. He was a physician, he believed in science, in knowledge, in skills. But today ... today he prayed. He prayed for the surgery to be successful and that it wasn't cancer. He prayed for the love of his life to survive. Addison just had to be alright.
And he forgot one important thing before she was wheeled into the OR. He forgot to tell her that he loved her.
XxX
Addison woke up a few minutes after she was brought into a room in the ICU. Just a precaution because the doctors wanted to monitor her for the next 24 hours. Usually Noah wouldn't be allowed here, good thing he was a doctor in this hospital.
Noah walked into the room and it broke his heart to see Addison like this. She looked so pale and fragile.
Addison blinked with her eyes and tried to stay awake, the anesthesia not fully worn off, yet. Noah walked to her side and took her hand which still had an IV needle in it.
“How are you feeling?”
Addison swallowed.
“Tired ... little sore.”
She closed her eyes again for a while.
“Have you heard anything, yet?”
Addison turned her head and looked at Noah.
“No.”
He whispered and shook his head.
At this moment the door opened and Dr. Brown walked in with Addison's chart in his hands.
He smiled at her.
“The surgery was successful so far.”
Noah looked up, alarmed.
“So far?”
Dr. Brown nodded.
“We could remove most of it without taking out the ovary. We sent it down to pathology and should get the results back in two days.”
“Two days?”
Noah exclaimed.
“And if you find cancerous cells you have to go back in and remove the ovary as well.”
Addison stated matter-of- factly.
Dr. Brown nodded.
“And we would have to run some more tests to see if it already spread. But let's all hope that that's not the case.”
Addison nodded.
“Thank you.”
Dr. Brown gave her a weak smile and left the room.
Addison turned to Noah and squeezed his hand.
“You should go home to Morgan.”
“She's with her brother, they don't see each other that often.”
Addison sighed.
Noah looked at her and understood.
“You want to be alone?”
Addison nodded.
“Don't get me wrong, I love you being here. But that doesn't change the fact that you're married. I'm tired Noah and ... I need some time to think.”
Noah stood up and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“Okay but ... can I come back later?”
Addison nodded and Noah could see in her eyes how much she wanted him here.
He opened the door and turned around again to give her a smile. A smile that sent goosebumps over Addison's skin.
Then he left her room.
XxX
The rest of the day went by uneventful. Naomi came to visit her friend and stayed for some hours to cheer Addison up. The others came as soon as the practice had closed for the day to check on her and brought some flowers, which had be stored with the nurses because they were not allowed in the ICU. Doctors! They only stayed for half an hour and took Naomi with them when they left. Addison was glad when everyone was gone because quite frankly Naomi was not good in cheering up but only annoying.
After a while the door opened and Noah entered with a single red rose in his hand. Addison wondered how he got it past the nurses.
He walked over to her and handed Addison the rose.
“Remember how I told you you are not alone, yesterday?”
Addison swallowed and nodded.
“I meant it. I will be here for you no matter what. I will be by your side and make sure you're okay.”
Addison just stared at him, unable to say anything.
“I love you., Addison. I love you so much that it gives me physical pain to see you here. In this bed, hurting and scared. I don't want to loose you. I need you.”
Addison gave up on suppressing the tears and just let them roll down her face.
“What about Morgan?”
She whispered.
Noah sat down on her bed and took her hand.
“I left her.”
“No.”
Addison was torn between two feelings right now. She was unbelievably happy and pictured the two of them together, how happy they could be. But she also felt this huge lump of guilt in her throat.
“But she needs you, Noah.”
“So do you.”
Addison new he was right. She did need him.
“What about the baby? Your child?”
Addison felt a shiver going down her spine when she saw the sadness in Noah's eyes.
“We'll figure something out.”
“Don't do this.”
“What?”
“Don't choose me over your child, Noah.”
“I can't not choose you, Addison. And I won't give up my child. But for now you are all that matters.”