Fic: Family Business (Private Practice)
Title: Family Business
Author: jas_mien
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character: all characters, no pairing in particular, yet
Summary: Addison’s brother shows up in L.A. and diggs up some past and some family backround and drama
Amy sat down on the couch, her hands between her knees, her shoulders slumped down.
Violet sat down on the chair next to her. In sessions with her patients she would have her clipboard to write down important things, but now she didn't have a session with a patient. This was a talk between friends.
Amy took a deep breath and pulled Violet's letter out of her pocket. She put it down on the table and stared at the creased envelope.
A few minutes passed by without either one of them talking. Violet knew she shouldn't push Amy. She would talk when she was ready.
“Do you still think about it?”
Amy asked Violet without taking her eyes off the letter.
“Every night.”
Amy looked at her and nodded slightly.
“Does it ever stop hurting?”
Amy swallowed and Violet could see the hope in her eyes.
She hated to take that hope away but she also knew that she couldn't lie to Amy.
“No. It gets less but it never stops completely.”
Amy turned her head away from Violet. Nevertheless, Violet could see the tears pooling up in her eyes.
Right now all she wanted to do was to stand up, walk over to Amy and pull her into a tight hug. But at the same time she knew it was too early for that. Amy needed to find a way to deal with it in her own way, only then would she be able to go one with her life. Violet was here to support her to handle the pain, not to take the pain away.
She handed Amy the box with tissues. Amy took one and blew her nose.
“It's my fault.”
Amy whispered.
“I ran away. I hitchhiked. It's like I asked for it.”
She started sobbing and the tears were now streaming down her cheeks.
Violet took Amy's hands into her own.
“Amy look at me. Look at me.”
Amy turned to Violet.
“It's not your fault. Don't ever think that. It's not your fault, Amy. The guy who did that to you is sick. He's a monster. It's only his fault. His alone and not yours. Okay? Can you say it aloud?”
Amy was still shaken by sobs.
Violet squeezed her hands.
“Please Amy.”
Amy took a deep breath and whispered.
“It's not my fault.”
Violet nodded.
“It's not your fault.”
XxX
Addison was finished with two of her three appointments and was now waiting for her last patient.
In search for her sister she walked through the practice. Addison started to worry after she couldn't find Amy in the kitchen or the lobby.
She was just on her way to Naomi's office to ask her if she had seen Amy, when she passed Violet's office and glanced inside.
Addison could see Violet and Amy sitting there. She could see Amy's entire body shaking and just wanted to storm in there and hold her. Hold her little sister and tell her everything was going to be okay. She had always been the only one to assure Amy that everything was going to be alright. But Addison also knew that this time was different. This time it wasn't her place to do so. This time she had to trust someone else to be the best person to help Amy.
Addison tried to ignore the knot forming in her stomach and walked back to her office.
XxX
Back in Violet's office Amy pulled her legs to her chest and hugged her knees.
“How many of them are still out there?”
Violet gave her a questioning look.
“How many monsters?”
Violet shook her head slightly and looked down at her hands in her lap.
“Still too many.”
Amy exhaled.
“What if it happens again?”
Violet knew the feeling. The feeling to fear that it could happen again. The fear to be too weak to fight through all of it again. Through the guilt, the fear, the humiliation, the pain.
“It won't happen again.”
“You don't know that.”
Amy's voice grew louder, only to be broken by her emotions welling up.
Violet looked her in the eyes.
“You're right. I don't know that. But you have to believe in it. You have to believe in it to - .”
Violet paused.
“- to live.”
Amy finished the sentence.
Violet nodded.
“Yeah.”
It grew quiet again.
“I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can ... live.”
Amy looked at Violet with watery eyes.
Violet swallowed, close to tears herself.
“You have to. Don't let him win. Don't let him take away who you are.”
Amy could see the emotions in Violet's face.
“Is that what you did?”
“It took me a long time but yes, I didn't let him win. But there are still some days I'm fighting him.”
“Everyday is such a day for me right now.”
Violet nodded.
“I know. It'll get better.”
Amy put her face down on her hands.
“What if I want to let him win?”
She whispered.
Violet grabbed Amy's arm and made her look at her.
“No. You don't.”
The silence took over again and Amy was lost in her thoughts.
Violet knew she tried to find a way to talk about the day. The day that made her life change forever. The day that made Amy change forever.
Amy was still sitting with her knees pressed to her chest, her chin resting on her knees.
She stared at the opposite wall.
“At night when everything is quiet, I can still hear him moaning.”
Violet felt a shiver going down her spine.
Amy was very calm now. The tear stains on her cheeks starting to dry.
“And when I close my eyes I see his face over me. Those eyes. So dark. And the smirk on his lips.”
Violet remembered herself lying awake for so many nights. The nights were the hardest.
In Amy's eyes she could only see one emotion right now. Hatred. The emotion that would block any other emotion and make her refuse to deal with her feelings. Hatred was the most dangerous of emotions in these cases, because it locked everything else deep inside. Violet knew about it. She had experienced it and it had almost killed her.
Author: jas_mien
Rating: PG
Pairing/Character: all characters, no pairing in particular, yet
Summary: Addison’s brother shows up in L.A. and diggs up some past and some family backround and drama
Amy sat down on the couch, her hands between her knees, her shoulders slumped down.
Violet sat down on the chair next to her. In sessions with her patients she would have her clipboard to write down important things, but now she didn't have a session with a patient. This was a talk between friends.
Amy took a deep breath and pulled Violet's letter out of her pocket. She put it down on the table and stared at the creased envelope.
A few minutes passed by without either one of them talking. Violet knew she shouldn't push Amy. She would talk when she was ready.
“Do you still think about it?”
Amy asked Violet without taking her eyes off the letter.
“Every night.”
Amy looked at her and nodded slightly.
“Does it ever stop hurting?”
Amy swallowed and Violet could see the hope in her eyes.
She hated to take that hope away but she also knew that she couldn't lie to Amy.
“No. It gets less but it never stops completely.”
Amy turned her head away from Violet. Nevertheless, Violet could see the tears pooling up in her eyes.
Right now all she wanted to do was to stand up, walk over to Amy and pull her into a tight hug. But at the same time she knew it was too early for that. Amy needed to find a way to deal with it in her own way, only then would she be able to go one with her life. Violet was here to support her to handle the pain, not to take the pain away.
She handed Amy the box with tissues. Amy took one and blew her nose.
“It's my fault.”
Amy whispered.
“I ran away. I hitchhiked. It's like I asked for it.”
She started sobbing and the tears were now streaming down her cheeks.
Violet took Amy's hands into her own.
“Amy look at me. Look at me.”
Amy turned to Violet.
“It's not your fault. Don't ever think that. It's not your fault, Amy. The guy who did that to you is sick. He's a monster. It's only his fault. His alone and not yours. Okay? Can you say it aloud?”
Amy was still shaken by sobs.
Violet squeezed her hands.
“Please Amy.”
Amy took a deep breath and whispered.
“It's not my fault.”
Violet nodded.
“It's not your fault.”
XxX
Addison was finished with two of her three appointments and was now waiting for her last patient.
In search for her sister she walked through the practice. Addison started to worry after she couldn't find Amy in the kitchen or the lobby.
She was just on her way to Naomi's office to ask her if she had seen Amy, when she passed Violet's office and glanced inside.
Addison could see Violet and Amy sitting there. She could see Amy's entire body shaking and just wanted to storm in there and hold her. Hold her little sister and tell her everything was going to be okay. She had always been the only one to assure Amy that everything was going to be alright. But Addison also knew that this time was different. This time it wasn't her place to do so. This time she had to trust someone else to be the best person to help Amy.
Addison tried to ignore the knot forming in her stomach and walked back to her office.
XxX
Back in Violet's office Amy pulled her legs to her chest and hugged her knees.
“How many of them are still out there?”
Violet gave her a questioning look.
“How many monsters?”
Violet shook her head slightly and looked down at her hands in her lap.
“Still too many.”
Amy exhaled.
“What if it happens again?”
Violet knew the feeling. The feeling to fear that it could happen again. The fear to be too weak to fight through all of it again. Through the guilt, the fear, the humiliation, the pain.
“It won't happen again.”
“You don't know that.”
Amy's voice grew louder, only to be broken by her emotions welling up.
Violet looked her in the eyes.
“You're right. I don't know that. But you have to believe in it. You have to believe in it to - .”
Violet paused.
“- to live.”
Amy finished the sentence.
Violet nodded.
“Yeah.”
It grew quiet again.
“I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can ... live.”
Amy looked at Violet with watery eyes.
Violet swallowed, close to tears herself.
“You have to. Don't let him win. Don't let him take away who you are.”
Amy could see the emotions in Violet's face.
“Is that what you did?”
“It took me a long time but yes, I didn't let him win. But there are still some days I'm fighting him.”
“Everyday is such a day for me right now.”
Violet nodded.
“I know. It'll get better.”
Amy put her face down on her hands.
“What if I want to let him win?”
She whispered.
Violet grabbed Amy's arm and made her look at her.
“No. You don't.”
The silence took over again and Amy was lost in her thoughts.
Violet knew she tried to find a way to talk about the day. The day that made her life change forever. The day that made Amy change forever.
Amy was still sitting with her knees pressed to her chest, her chin resting on her knees.
She stared at the opposite wall.
“At night when everything is quiet, I can still hear him moaning.”
Violet felt a shiver going down her spine.
Amy was very calm now. The tear stains on her cheeks starting to dry.
“And when I close my eyes I see his face over me. Those eyes. So dark. And the smirk on his lips.”
Violet remembered herself lying awake for so many nights. The nights were the hardest.
In Amy's eyes she could only see one emotion right now. Hatred. The emotion that would block any other emotion and make her refuse to deal with her feelings. Hatred was the most dangerous of emotions in these cases, because it locked everything else deep inside. Violet knew about it. She had experienced it and it had almost killed her.