I Only Want What I Can't Have.
When I left you, I flew
Did you fly too?
And nakedness befell my way
Only seeing light of day
Wow... talk about journal abuse... it sure has been awhile. Sorry to keep all of you loyal fans waiting... but things in the life of Jake have been pretty hella crazy lately.
For one thing, I had to stop taking the Accutane because it starting hurting my liver. So, after an assload of tests... they've finally let me know that things are going back to normal and I can actually start taking the medicine again, assuming I agree to weekly blood tests. I might do it... it was working so fucking well.
I leave for Florida in a month! I'm so excited to get back down there and soak up all the tourism I can for a week... it's been like... a year since I've been down there, and I'm all itchy to just let go and enjoy life again. Not to mention that I'm eighteen now and can get into the clubs at Pleasure Island. Anyone wanna show me a good time? ;-)
Oh... but even better- in a couple weeks, I'm leaving for New Orleans for four days to help out with the relief efforts down there. I mean.. we're talking physical waist deep in water labor. So not me, but helping out is... and the devestation down there is making me so sad and I feel so strongly about helping the people down there. Gving money isn't doing anything for me... I wanna get my hands dirty! So... yeah... keep me in your thoughts about that, because it's pretty dangerous down there, obviously... and I hope everything goes well.
I only want what I can’t have
I only need what I don’t want
I only want what I can’t have
I only need what I don’t want
So, here's a tricky situation for all you advice-giving-lovers out there. I was in American Eagle a few days ago, and I met this amazing amazing guy. And basically... I dunno, it was cool. We hit it off and he was so nice... and good god was he gorgeous. But of course, something has to go fucking wrong. I get home and I'm talking to a friend of mine, who informs me that this guy went on a date with one of my best friends. So... I call the friend and he tells me that they did go on a date, they'll probably go on more, and that he likes him. Which leaves me to wonder what I should do... because I don't want to just give up on this guy... but I don't want to do anything to mess things up with my friend. They're not together or anything... but is one date enough to make it necessary for me to back off? I'm so confused.
I'm also finding feelings for a certain ex again... and that just has me all fucked up inside... but I REALLY don't want to get into it on here... so whatever.
Then there's also... Jake. Uhm. Jake is probably the best guy that ever existed... but of course, he has to live in Illinois... just like the ex. We talk every night, and it's always amazing... and just... I dunno. I really really like him... but the distance. It's always the distance.
And creativity
It sells my soul
I asked not to be alone
You don't need to ask for my hand
I already know where I stand
So many guys though... there's also this guy I kinda like, but he has a boyfriend... so you know I'm staying ten feet back and just observing. I don't interfere with relationships... but it still hurts to hear about the two of them together. And that's so weird... because it shouldn't.
But yeah... on one positive note... I have an interview tomorrow at American Eagle, which I'm pretty sure I'll get. I mean... they have to hire 100 people by December... and I have retail experience... so... yeah, here's hoping. Wish me luck! <3
But yeah... I imagine I've bored you enough for tonight... but I had a lot I wanted to get out, so you guys got lucky...
But seriously... check out my MySpace if you want more recent stuff going on with me... because I'm not updating this thing very often (obviously...). You can get to it here: http://www.myspace.com/toxicboi
But yes... this is all for now, loves. Thanks for listening... I love you all so much. I really do.
Hope all is well.
<3 J
And consequences in the future
I feel it as now
Now I can't feel the future
But I can be there for you now.
Did you fly too?
And nakedness befell my way
Only seeing light of day
Wow... talk about journal abuse... it sure has been awhile. Sorry to keep all of you loyal fans waiting... but things in the life of Jake have been pretty hella crazy lately.
For one thing, I had to stop taking the Accutane because it starting hurting my liver. So, after an assload of tests... they've finally let me know that things are going back to normal and I can actually start taking the medicine again, assuming I agree to weekly blood tests. I might do it... it was working so fucking well.
I leave for Florida in a month! I'm so excited to get back down there and soak up all the tourism I can for a week... it's been like... a year since I've been down there, and I'm all itchy to just let go and enjoy life again. Not to mention that I'm eighteen now and can get into the clubs at Pleasure Island. Anyone wanna show me a good time? ;-)
Oh... but even better- in a couple weeks, I'm leaving for New Orleans for four days to help out with the relief efforts down there. I mean.. we're talking physical waist deep in water labor. So not me, but helping out is... and the devestation down there is making me so sad and I feel so strongly about helping the people down there. Gving money isn't doing anything for me... I wanna get my hands dirty! So... yeah... keep me in your thoughts about that, because it's pretty dangerous down there, obviously... and I hope everything goes well.
I only want what I can’t have
I only need what I don’t want
I only want what I can’t have
I only need what I don’t want
So, here's a tricky situation for all you advice-giving-lovers out there. I was in American Eagle a few days ago, and I met this amazing amazing guy. And basically... I dunno, it was cool. We hit it off and he was so nice... and good god was he gorgeous. But of course, something has to go fucking wrong. I get home and I'm talking to a friend of mine, who informs me that this guy went on a date with one of my best friends. So... I call the friend and he tells me that they did go on a date, they'll probably go on more, and that he likes him. Which leaves me to wonder what I should do... because I don't want to just give up on this guy... but I don't want to do anything to mess things up with my friend. They're not together or anything... but is one date enough to make it necessary for me to back off? I'm so confused.
I'm also finding feelings for a certain ex again... and that just has me all fucked up inside... but I REALLY don't want to get into it on here... so whatever.
Then there's also... Jake. Uhm. Jake is probably the best guy that ever existed... but of course, he has to live in Illinois... just like the ex. We talk every night, and it's always amazing... and just... I dunno. I really really like him... but the distance. It's always the distance.
And creativity
It sells my soul
I asked not to be alone
You don't need to ask for my hand
I already know where I stand
So many guys though... there's also this guy I kinda like, but he has a boyfriend... so you know I'm staying ten feet back and just observing. I don't interfere with relationships... but it still hurts to hear about the two of them together. And that's so weird... because it shouldn't.
But yeah... on one positive note... I have an interview tomorrow at American Eagle, which I'm pretty sure I'll get. I mean... they have to hire 100 people by December... and I have retail experience... so... yeah, here's hoping. Wish me luck! <3
But yeah... I imagine I've bored you enough for tonight... but I had a lot I wanted to get out, so you guys got lucky...
But seriously... check out my MySpace if you want more recent stuff going on with me... because I'm not updating this thing very often (obviously...). You can get to it here: http://www.myspace.com/toxicboi
But yes... this is all for now, loves. Thanks for listening... I love you all so much. I really do.
Hope all is well.
<3 J
And consequences in the future
I feel it as now
Now I can't feel the future
But I can be there for you now.