[fic] Giving Full Attention - 1/1 - Donghae-centric

[jarringvacuity]

Title: Giving Full Attention
Chapter: 1/1
Author: jarringvacuity
Genre: AR
Warnings: Some disorder
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Donghae-centric, with Ryeowook, Eeteuk, Yesung, Heechul; Hankyung/Heechul
Synopsis: Lee Donghae, 24, is not quite the normal kid.
Comments: Careless writing, bad grammar, short, etc. I suck at coming up with titles.
Disclaimer: Purely fictional. I

Comments

[amethyst_realm]

Hi~~~ 8DDD *waves frenetically* Surprise~! I bet you didn't expect to see me commenting on a Suju fic XD;; [I guess times have changed. Or rather, I have changed...] I was in need of something different--or maybe something to convince me that you are the only 19 year old I know so far who has above average skills in writing--and this story delivered X3

To be honest, it's been such a long time since I last read anything from you, but reading this piece tells me that you have improved. Your writing was already more than good in the past but this is proof that you have truly come a long way, even if you have been in a writing slump for a while. The narrative is both clear and straightforward but vivid at the same time, evoking images without having to rely on flowery language.

I've dabbled in the Suju fandom but the things I know about them individually are, perhaps, just barely scratching the surface so I can't really say if the characterizations was on or off mark [sorry ^^;;] but the story was a painful read--not painful as in it sucked, of course XD;; You know that something is wrong with Donghae right from the start that can't be fixed, which makes it hard for the people around him to adapt even if his behavior is quite predictable. They will eventually get tired/exhausted with his "moods" and it will take a lot more to get him to understand why there are days that they can't deal with him. But at the same time, when Donghae's adorable, "tame" side shows up, it makes everything forgivable--bearable, even. [Are you sure you didn't chuck in the satire genre in this? The entire thing is like one big paradox XD;;]

Okay I rambled in the previous paragraph, I'm not even sure if I made any sense @_@ But I liked this story a lot; it doesn't beat around the bush, it serves you cold, hard reality concealed in simple words, and Heechul is surprisingly patient in this o_o Donghae's adorable moments makes him shine, too. [The diary makes me crack up even though it shouldn't, and it just made me want to pinch his cheeks ^^;;] I only caught one typo so far and I wished this was a little longer because then we'd have more backstory [and a story in general XD] but hey, no complaints because 1) it was awesome, and; 2) it's been so long since I last read anything from you oh my gah you should write more!. I wish I could say more but I'll just repeat myself over and over again so I'll stop here XD;; I'll read the other story you posted when I have more time, I started reading it when you posted it but never had the chance to finish it @_@

All in all, you did a wonderful job! d^^b {NO COMPLAINING, NO! I DON'T CARE WHATCHU THINK, I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL AND I AM STICKING TO THAT! 8DDD *GLOMPS YOU*]

[jarringvacuity]

HAI THAR! 8D *massively surprised* what's this about 19 y/o kids and their writing skills? i envy some 19 year olds, they have the gift of language; they can put whatever they wanna say exactly into beautiful vivid imagery, the kind that not only makes you understand but also hits you unexpectedly hard, the kind that i'd never even think of, even if i did, i'd be conscious about what strange things i'm making up and be too scared to put them in XD then again maybe i don't experience lots of things here. haha i was worried if after a long break it wouldn't sound like me anymore XD like apart from style, maybe my 'voice' has changed.

honestly your comments made it sound a lot better than it is (at least to me?). i was feeling kinda mehh about it. hahah but there was a constant effort to write it as straightforward as possible at parts though, even though the narrator is kinda 'all-knowing' it's also told from donghae's perspective and donghae is a pretty simple character here. yet then again, how can someone supposedly be so simple-minded, know how to 'manipulate' the people around him to get his desired attention. originally he was just supposed to be a kid, and not have some disorder XD i can't believe i wrote ryeowook and yesung in this but oh well, they seem like the touchy feely kinda person and the most family oriented so.. HI YESUNG HI RYEOWOOK XD wonder if it wasn't for the prompt in the header or mentions in the story would people still notice that there's something wrong with him :\ want to cuddle this donghae to death and give him all the attention he needs ><;;;;

but thanks for your kind comments and saying i can write above average-ly. i still have a lot to work on ;_; i was hoping i could get into the swing of writing but as expected i have a knack for doing things last minute therefore now i'm not sure when i can write again T_T

[amethyst_realm]

Don't be too hard on yourself =3 Isn't it enough that you're my only 19 year old girl who isn't only capable of writing above averagely but can be my rant/rave buddy in regards to fanfiction? X3;; It's kind of a long story but to give a condensed version, I've been reading some fics that were supposedly written by 19 year old writers, which either makes me want to gouge my eyes out or make me look like this =| all throughout.

Donghae here is both good and evil. He is blameless but at the same time the root of suffering by the people around him. Therein lies another irony of the entire thing: as you said, he is simple, but his actions lead him to be indirectly manipulative towards his hyungs and dongsaeng--and he can get away with it because of his condition, because if he was normal he'd have already been beaten up @_@

Aww~ *ruffles your hair* Writers constantly find ways to improve so you're not alone in that department =D I really, sincerely hope that you will slowly ease yourself back to the swing of writing; I believe you have potential that you need to nourish so it can flourish fully, and that you still have plenty of things left to share with us. Ganbatte! 8Dv ♥