Stop That Now!
Rating: K+
“Shut the fuck up or I’m gonna smother you with these things!”
Chouji immediately took a step back.
“Not you, you idiot!” Ino shrieked. “HIM! If he doesn’t cut all his girly bitching out RIGHT NOW and start acting like a GUY, I’m going to kill him! I went through a lot of trouble getting these costumes together and you are going to wear and you are going to be GRATEFUL about it!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “So troublesome,” he grumbled, but said nothing more on the matter. It clearly didn’t matter what he had to say, since Ino wasn’t going to listen to anything he said.
Plus, the threat of being smothered was both a real and terrifying one.
He kept his grumbling to a minimum the whole way over to the party and only gave a long-suffering sigh when Ino made sure that their costumes were in place before knocking on the door. He felt better when Chouji patted his back reassuringly.
He was torn between laughing and cringing when the door was flung open and Ino realised that she and Sakura had the same costume.
“How dare you copy me!” Ino yelled angrily.
“You copied me!” Sakura snapped back. “I had the idea first!”
“Give it up, Forehead Girl! You wouldn’t know a good idea if it dressed up like Sasuke-kun and did the polka in front of you! Clearly, this could only be a work of my genius!”
“Genius like the fact that you’re sagging on one side?” Sakura asked a little too sweetly. “You should have been more careful about putting it on. Really, you should pay more attention to the details.”
“You mean like the details like the fact that your wig looks like a rat nested in it?” Ino mimicked Sakura’s tone. “My hair is my own; I don’t need a cheap wig for mine.”
The normally-pink haired girl sniffed. “I wouldn’t want to risk my hair with anything as shallow as dye”-a jab at Ino because Shikamaru was pretty sure that Ino highlighted her hair from September to May-“Face it, my costume is superior to yours because not only did I think of it, but I have the attitude and knowledge to pull it off.”
Ino smirked. “No, mine’s better; I have a completed ensemble”-she gestured at her team-mates-“to go with mine. Where’s the rest of yours?”
“That’s not fair!” Sakura yelped. “Sai doesn’t understand the concept of dressing up in costume! Look at him!” She stepped back and waved her arm frantically in the general direction of her unusually colourful team-mate.
“…What the hell is he supposed to be?” Ino finally asked.
“I don’t know, but I had to practically force him to put on those shorts! He was going to run around all night without them!”
Ino’s face took on a slightly greenish cast at the thought. “I really don’t want to know any more.”
Chouji nudged Shikamaru slightly and he knew it was because Akimichi had spotted the refreshment table. If the girls were distracted by the abundance of Sai that was visible, it might be possible to sneak away and find a nice corner to hide in while Chouji got them food. He lightly elbowed the bulkier ninja and from the quick smile that Chouji flashed him, he knew his friend understood.
Chouji inched away, and carefully sidled behind Kiba-who was dressed up like his sensei-and Naruto (who was wearing some girly mist ninja outfit). Shikamaru watched out of the corner of his eye as Chouji neatly submerged himself in the crowd.
Shikamaru waited for two minutes before casually stepping behind Lee (who-surprisingly-was not dressed up like Gai-sensei this year). Then it was a calculated duck behind Shino (looking awkward with his ever present glasses, Kiba’s normal jacket, and lipstick smeared on his face in lopsided Inuzuka tribal marks) and Hinata (who was looking justifiably terrified that Sakura and Ino might descend on her for being dressed up like Shizune). From there, it was quick dodge behind yet another Tsunade-wannabe (didn’t TenTen know better?!), a sidestep away from the still-yet-unidentified Sai and Neji-as-his-genin-self, and then bliss! A dark, secluded corner with a view of the room, but plenty of coverage so Ino won’t be able to find them immediately.
He scanned the room for Chouji and sent a small shadow tendril to tug the bulkier ninja in the right direction. Once the Akimichi was in the corner with him, Shikamaru would feel better; there would be someone to share in his misery and who would understand his pain.
Chouji carefully settled himself next to Shikamaru, clearly trying hard not to drop any food or muss his costume too much. It was a small space, so there was little manoeuvring room, but it was since it Chouji, it wasn’t too bad. Once Chouji got situated with the food, Shikamaru could lean back and feel the warmth that his friend seemed to exude in mass quantities.
Now this was almost enjoyable. There was the soft and comforting noises of Chouji munching on random snacks, they were hidden from most of the insanity that was occurring out there, and he could watch the rest of the party interact.
Sai-seemingly unaware that he was less than appropriately attired-continued his following of Naruto around (Shikamaru wondered when either dunderhead would figure out the real reason that Sai wouldn’t leave the blond boy alone; it was so obvious and troublesome that neither had figured it out yet). Shino-as-Kiba seemed to be currently trying to get Lee to explain the newspaper and mosquito netting hat (painted with almost illegible Country of the Wind symbol) and TenTen seemed to gotten pulled into the Sakura-Ino costume argument. Hinata mixed her adoring gazes at Naruto with frightened glances at the three Tsunade-wannabes and trying to hide behind Shino. Naruto was harassing a cross Neji, and Kiba was making a mess.
Shikamaru leaned his head back on to the broad shoulders of his friend and let himself doze off. Since he had been forced to come, he might as well make use of the time spent here. And since he couldn’t see the clouds…
He woke up when he heard Ino shrilly yelling that her team-mates better GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! He felt Chouji starting to shift and he slapped his hand on a thick thigh to stop the other boy. “Ignore her. I’m comfortable.”
“But she sounds angry.” Chouji said a bit nervously. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Chouji would rather face down a hoard of angry Sound Ninjas any day over facing down their troublesome team-mate.
“So what? It will be good for her. All she wants is to show us off.” He kept his fingers tight on the leg and didn’t open his eyes. The warm body under his back was relaxing and Ino was just going to have to deal with it. Shikamaru hadn’t wanted to come in the first place, much less dress up for it. He was going to get something out of this party, and right now, that was snuggling with Chouji.
“As accessories?” The bigger ninja asked dryly as he moved, but this time, he shifted to accommodate his best friend better. Shikamara could still feel the tension in his friend’s body, but like knowing that Chouji trusted him enough to follow what he said.
“More or less.”
“Oi, let’s get this going!” Kiba loudly said. “They don’t wanna come, fine!”
“It’ll work better number-wise without them.” TenTen adjusted her fake cleavage.
Ino huffed loudly and finally conceded, but Shikamaru could see there would be hell to pay later because she didn’t have time to show off her whole costume.
Oh well. He’d deal with that when he got to that bridge. He took the crisp that Chouji offered him and settled back down, shifting that damn huge rope belt over a bit.
Idly reaching over, his fingers fumbled for more crisps. “We don’t have any more,” Chouji sounded apologetic. “I’d offer to get more, but since Ino is out for our blood right now…”
“Troublesome.” Shikamaru muttered before tilting his head back. “Why did you give me the last one?”
He saw the startled look that crossed his friend’s face from the corner of his eye. “Well…ah…I…I ate all the others and I thought you should have at least one.”
“So you gave me the last one?”
“Yes.”
“Even though you say the last one is the best one of all?”
A bit of pink crept into out from behind the red lipstick lines on Chouji’s face. “I guess.”
“Even though you’ve gotten into fist fights with Naruto for the last piece before?”
The pink darkened into rose. “Well…I…I’ve…I’ve grown up since then.”
“So last week was a lapse of judgement?” As the rose moved to red, Shikamaru felt that he would take pity on his friend. It was probably the closest thing he was going to get to Chouji taking the initiative. Twisting and reaching up, he managed to get his hand behind Chouji’s head before the bulky ninja could completely process what was happening.
Chouji made a surprised noise that was quickly muffled.
Shikamaru smirked slightly as he leaned away a moment later. He flicked his tongue out and liked how the Akimichi’s eyes followed the movement. Chouji tasted like barbeque crisps, just like he always thought the bigger boy would.
A little unceremoniously and awkwardly, Chouji yanked the lazy boy back and proceeded to kiss the Nara like he wanted to know all the ingredients that made him up.
It was nice to see the same enthusiasm that normally reserved for food was extended to Shikamaru. It was also nice to let Chouji take control of the situation.
When he felt the first tentative swipe of Chouji’s tongue, Shikamaru was a little embarrassed that he made a needy noise, but he wasn’t embarrassed enough not to respond to the question.
“HEY, I FOUND THEM!”
Naruto’s loud voice broke through and Chouji jerked back.
“SHIKAMARU AND CHOUJI CREPT OFF TO GET SOME NOOKIE!” Kiba gleefully yelled as Chouji’s swirling tattoos vanished under his blush and Sai cocked his head to one side, clearly processing the scene.
“WHAT?!” Ino shrieked, shoving people out of the way. Chouji’s cheeks now were valiantly trying to match the vivid red lipstick lines on his face.
“Do you think the real Tsunade-sama had to deal with kissing team-mates?” Shikamaru heard TenTen ask Neji.
“I don’t think so, as all reports said her team-mates didn’t like each other at all.” Neji murmured back, pale eyes glued to the two chunins on the floor.
Tch, troublesome! Shikamaru always knew that Neji would be a voyeur.
Ino glared at the rest of the room. “Go bug Forehead Girl. NOW.” She added when Sai didn’t leave fast enough. She turned back to her team-mates, glowering darkly. “How dare you sneak off to a corner to decide that you like enough other enough to start snogging and NOT making sure that I have a camera ready FIRST!” She hissed dangerously. “ESPECIALLY after all the trouble I went through with your costumes!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes as Ino throw a general hissy fit. Chouji squeezed his hand, once again reminding him why he was never going to end up with a woman.
x Fin x
“Shut the fuck up or I’m gonna smother you with these things!”
Chouji immediately took a step back.
“Not you, you idiot!” Ino shrieked. “HIM! If he doesn’t cut all his girly bitching out RIGHT NOW and start acting like a GUY, I’m going to kill him! I went through a lot of trouble getting these costumes together and you are going to wear and you are going to be GRATEFUL about it!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “So troublesome,” he grumbled, but said nothing more on the matter. It clearly didn’t matter what he had to say, since Ino wasn’t going to listen to anything he said.
Plus, the threat of being smothered was both a real and terrifying one.
He kept his grumbling to a minimum the whole way over to the party and only gave a long-suffering sigh when Ino made sure that their costumes were in place before knocking on the door. He felt better when Chouji patted his back reassuringly.
He was torn between laughing and cringing when the door was flung open and Ino realised that she and Sakura had the same costume.
“How dare you copy me!” Ino yelled angrily.
“You copied me!” Sakura snapped back. “I had the idea first!”
“Give it up, Forehead Girl! You wouldn’t know a good idea if it dressed up like Sasuke-kun and did the polka in front of you! Clearly, this could only be a work of my genius!”
“Genius like the fact that you’re sagging on one side?” Sakura asked a little too sweetly. “You should have been more careful about putting it on. Really, you should pay more attention to the details.”
“You mean like the details like the fact that your wig looks like a rat nested in it?” Ino mimicked Sakura’s tone. “My hair is my own; I don’t need a cheap wig for mine.”
The normally-pink haired girl sniffed. “I wouldn’t want to risk my hair with anything as shallow as dye”-a jab at Ino because Shikamaru was pretty sure that Ino highlighted her hair from September to May-“Face it, my costume is superior to yours because not only did I think of it, but I have the attitude and knowledge to pull it off.”
Ino smirked. “No, mine’s better; I have a completed ensemble”-she gestured at her team-mates-“to go with mine. Where’s the rest of yours?”
“That’s not fair!” Sakura yelped. “Sai doesn’t understand the concept of dressing up in costume! Look at him!” She stepped back and waved her arm frantically in the general direction of her unusually colourful team-mate.
“…What the hell is he supposed to be?” Ino finally asked.
“I don’t know, but I had to practically force him to put on those shorts! He was going to run around all night without them!”
Ino’s face took on a slightly greenish cast at the thought. “I really don’t want to know any more.”
Chouji nudged Shikamaru slightly and he knew it was because Akimichi had spotted the refreshment table. If the girls were distracted by the abundance of Sai that was visible, it might be possible to sneak away and find a nice corner to hide in while Chouji got them food. He lightly elbowed the bulkier ninja and from the quick smile that Chouji flashed him, he knew his friend understood.
Chouji inched away, and carefully sidled behind Kiba-who was dressed up like his sensei-and Naruto (who was wearing some girly mist ninja outfit). Shikamaru watched out of the corner of his eye as Chouji neatly submerged himself in the crowd.
Shikamaru waited for two minutes before casually stepping behind Lee (who-surprisingly-was not dressed up like Gai-sensei this year). Then it was a calculated duck behind Shino (looking awkward with his ever present glasses, Kiba’s normal jacket, and lipstick smeared on his face in lopsided Inuzuka tribal marks) and Hinata (who was looking justifiably terrified that Sakura and Ino might descend on her for being dressed up like Shizune). From there, it was quick dodge behind yet another Tsunade-wannabe (didn’t TenTen know better?!), a sidestep away from the still-yet-unidentified Sai and Neji-as-his-genin-self, and then bliss! A dark, secluded corner with a view of the room, but plenty of coverage so Ino won’t be able to find them immediately.
He scanned the room for Chouji and sent a small shadow tendril to tug the bulkier ninja in the right direction. Once the Akimichi was in the corner with him, Shikamaru would feel better; there would be someone to share in his misery and who would understand his pain.
Chouji carefully settled himself next to Shikamaru, clearly trying hard not to drop any food or muss his costume too much. It was a small space, so there was little manoeuvring room, but it was since it Chouji, it wasn’t too bad. Once Chouji got situated with the food, Shikamaru could lean back and feel the warmth that his friend seemed to exude in mass quantities.
Now this was almost enjoyable. There was the soft and comforting noises of Chouji munching on random snacks, they were hidden from most of the insanity that was occurring out there, and he could watch the rest of the party interact.
Sai-seemingly unaware that he was less than appropriately attired-continued his following of Naruto around (Shikamaru wondered when either dunderhead would figure out the real reason that Sai wouldn’t leave the blond boy alone; it was so obvious and troublesome that neither had figured it out yet). Shino-as-Kiba seemed to be currently trying to get Lee to explain the newspaper and mosquito netting hat (painted with almost illegible Country of the Wind symbol) and TenTen seemed to gotten pulled into the Sakura-Ino costume argument. Hinata mixed her adoring gazes at Naruto with frightened glances at the three Tsunade-wannabes and trying to hide behind Shino. Naruto was harassing a cross Neji, and Kiba was making a mess.
Shikamaru leaned his head back on to the broad shoulders of his friend and let himself doze off. Since he had been forced to come, he might as well make use of the time spent here. And since he couldn’t see the clouds…
He woke up when he heard Ino shrilly yelling that her team-mates better GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! He felt Chouji starting to shift and he slapped his hand on a thick thigh to stop the other boy. “Ignore her. I’m comfortable.”
“But she sounds angry.” Chouji said a bit nervously. Shikamaru rolled his eyes. Chouji would rather face down a hoard of angry Sound Ninjas any day over facing down their troublesome team-mate.
“So what? It will be good for her. All she wants is to show us off.” He kept his fingers tight on the leg and didn’t open his eyes. The warm body under his back was relaxing and Ino was just going to have to deal with it. Shikamaru hadn’t wanted to come in the first place, much less dress up for it. He was going to get something out of this party, and right now, that was snuggling with Chouji.
“As accessories?” The bigger ninja asked dryly as he moved, but this time, he shifted to accommodate his best friend better. Shikamara could still feel the tension in his friend’s body, but like knowing that Chouji trusted him enough to follow what he said.
“More or less.”
“Oi, let’s get this going!” Kiba loudly said. “They don’t wanna come, fine!”
“It’ll work better number-wise without them.” TenTen adjusted her fake cleavage.
Ino huffed loudly and finally conceded, but Shikamaru could see there would be hell to pay later because she didn’t have time to show off her whole costume.
Oh well. He’d deal with that when he got to that bridge. He took the crisp that Chouji offered him and settled back down, shifting that damn huge rope belt over a bit.
Idly reaching over, his fingers fumbled for more crisps. “We don’t have any more,” Chouji sounded apologetic. “I’d offer to get more, but since Ino is out for our blood right now…”
“Troublesome.” Shikamaru muttered before tilting his head back. “Why did you give me the last one?”
He saw the startled look that crossed his friend’s face from the corner of his eye. “Well…ah…I…I ate all the others and I thought you should have at least one.”
“So you gave me the last one?”
“Yes.”
“Even though you say the last one is the best one of all?”
A bit of pink crept into out from behind the red lipstick lines on Chouji’s face. “I guess.”
“Even though you’ve gotten into fist fights with Naruto for the last piece before?”
The pink darkened into rose. “Well…I…I’ve…I’ve grown up since then.”
“So last week was a lapse of judgement?” As the rose moved to red, Shikamaru felt that he would take pity on his friend. It was probably the closest thing he was going to get to Chouji taking the initiative. Twisting and reaching up, he managed to get his hand behind Chouji’s head before the bulky ninja could completely process what was happening.
Chouji made a surprised noise that was quickly muffled.
Shikamaru smirked slightly as he leaned away a moment later. He flicked his tongue out and liked how the Akimichi’s eyes followed the movement. Chouji tasted like barbeque crisps, just like he always thought the bigger boy would.
A little unceremoniously and awkwardly, Chouji yanked the lazy boy back and proceeded to kiss the Nara like he wanted to know all the ingredients that made him up.
It was nice to see the same enthusiasm that normally reserved for food was extended to Shikamaru. It was also nice to let Chouji take control of the situation.
When he felt the first tentative swipe of Chouji’s tongue, Shikamaru was a little embarrassed that he made a needy noise, but he wasn’t embarrassed enough not to respond to the question.
“HEY, I FOUND THEM!”
Naruto’s loud voice broke through and Chouji jerked back.
“SHIKAMARU AND CHOUJI CREPT OFF TO GET SOME NOOKIE!” Kiba gleefully yelled as Chouji’s swirling tattoos vanished under his blush and Sai cocked his head to one side, clearly processing the scene.
“WHAT?!” Ino shrieked, shoving people out of the way. Chouji’s cheeks now were valiantly trying to match the vivid red lipstick lines on his face.
“Do you think the real Tsunade-sama had to deal with kissing team-mates?” Shikamaru heard TenTen ask Neji.
“I don’t think so, as all reports said her team-mates didn’t like each other at all.” Neji murmured back, pale eyes glued to the two chunins on the floor.
Tch, troublesome! Shikamaru always knew that Neji would be a voyeur.
Ino glared at the rest of the room. “Go bug Forehead Girl. NOW.” She added when Sai didn’t leave fast enough. She turned back to her team-mates, glowering darkly. “How dare you sneak off to a corner to decide that you like enough other enough to start snogging and NOT making sure that I have a camera ready FIRST!” She hissed dangerously. “ESPECIALLY after all the trouble I went through with your costumes!”
Shikamaru rolled his eyes as Ino throw a general hissy fit. Chouji squeezed his hand, once again reminding him why he was never going to end up with a woman.
x Fin x