A Jarian rant; please don't feel obligated to read....
Despite all my complaints about it, and despite all the jokes I make about it, I honestly have to confess that I'm proud of my state. Idaho is a good place in my humble, heavily biased opinion. People seem to be, for the most part, honest and maybe even kind-hearted...sort o a (stereotypical) grandmother-type of thing. Good ol' fashion values, good ol' fashioned unity sort of thing. I'm afraid my faith in Idaho took a considerable blow tonight. I put in dark purple barrettes today, with pretty blue ones back behind to prevent the mane-effect. As I go behind the counter to take up my till, Tim glances at me and then blatantly refuses to look at me, with a very sour expression on my face. It takes me all of about two tenths of a second to put this together with conversation I'd heard in passing (and to me directly) earlier: he's mad about the barrettes. He, of course, thinks they're girly and for some reason this makes him very angry. He told me point blank at one point that if I continue to wear them, he will quit and find a different job where he doesn't have to put up with "these conditions". I was slightly angry at him for throwing what I viewed to be a tantrum (justified, I think), especially over something so stupid. So there was, honestly, a small-scale war within me...I didn't want to give in and take them out because I saw (and see) no valid reason for his irrationality, and as much just because of the principle of the matter (I'm afraid I'm very stubborn, as much as I'm not proud of it). However, I did not want to put up with him being angry at me for the rest of the night (and presumably indefinitely), and I definitely didn't want him to quit (he's virtually indispensable to the company; without him, it will fall--I think Ross (the owner) knows this, and I'm sure he'd be forced to find some way/reason to fire me before loosing Tim).
I should have remembered while this battle was raging that Tim is a pretty accurate indicator of the feelings of the general populace. I was forcefully reminded of this a moment later when he informed me that "everyone" was talking about it, and that his girlfriend, amongst others, has announced that she would never again come back to the store as long as I was on duty. While it could be argued that this was heat-of-the-moment ammunition, I trust Tim, and as much as it shames me, I think that much of our clientele, which seem to represent a pretty accurate cross-section of Idaho, would say or do exactly that. This is what won me over; I will no longer wear barrettes in my hair at work. Because we're loosing customers.
I'm not sure how to feel about this. I feel a little ashamed of myself because I backed down on something that shouldn't matter at all just because of what other people thought. But at the same time, I'm preserving our customer base and my job, so I don't feel that bad about it. What absolutely disgusts me is that something like this would cause this kind of reaction in people. Why does the presence or absence of a piece of non-symbolic, benign plastic in my hair offend people? Why are brightly colored rubber bands okay, but barrettes are not? Some of my deeper wanderings into psychology indicate (and contemporary psychology agrees) that what could be construed as feminine behavior in me (namely, barrettes) may offend some males because they're afraid the presence of it may make other people question their masculinity. They react irrationally to it because they are afraid, on some level, that this femininity might actually exist in them. Put simply, they're over-compensating because they're afraid they might have some spark of femininity in them.
I posed something similar to this to Tim, and he responded with the classic hypothetical metaphor that I've actually received several times. He said "Well, what about killing people? It's a form of expression." I responded to this as I always do: It interferes with other peoples' basic human rights; that's why it's wrong. I'm still thinking out the deeper ramifications of that statement, but I think it's a good one to live by, and pretty much sums up the intent of the law. So long as it doesn't interfere with other people's rights, do as ye will. Contrary to popular belief, the right to see/hear/be exposed only to opinions, beliefs, and behaviors that you agree with is not a basic human right.
That, ultimately, is what bugs me about this whole thing: my rights, which are not interfering with anyone else's, are being limited because of other people's beliefs/opinions, and ultimately, their insecurities.
Ah well, as I said above, this is a stupid little thing that ultimately doesn't matter. And as much as I may want to make this into a political statement or a personal vendetta, barrettes are a stupid thing to fight a ware over, and to be honest, I like my job and coworkers more than barrettes. Even if they are a pretty shade of blue.
I should have remembered while this battle was raging that Tim is a pretty accurate indicator of the feelings of the general populace. I was forcefully reminded of this a moment later when he informed me that "everyone" was talking about it, and that his girlfriend, amongst others, has announced that she would never again come back to the store as long as I was on duty. While it could be argued that this was heat-of-the-moment ammunition, I trust Tim, and as much as it shames me, I think that much of our clientele, which seem to represent a pretty accurate cross-section of Idaho, would say or do exactly that. This is what won me over; I will no longer wear barrettes in my hair at work. Because we're loosing customers.
I'm not sure how to feel about this. I feel a little ashamed of myself because I backed down on something that shouldn't matter at all just because of what other people thought. But at the same time, I'm preserving our customer base and my job, so I don't feel that bad about it. What absolutely disgusts me is that something like this would cause this kind of reaction in people. Why does the presence or absence of a piece of non-symbolic, benign plastic in my hair offend people? Why are brightly colored rubber bands okay, but barrettes are not? Some of my deeper wanderings into psychology indicate (and contemporary psychology agrees) that what could be construed as feminine behavior in me (namely, barrettes) may offend some males because they're afraid the presence of it may make other people question their masculinity. They react irrationally to it because they are afraid, on some level, that this femininity might actually exist in them. Put simply, they're over-compensating because they're afraid they might have some spark of femininity in them.
I posed something similar to this to Tim, and he responded with the classic hypothetical metaphor that I've actually received several times. He said "Well, what about killing people? It's a form of expression." I responded to this as I always do: It interferes with other peoples' basic human rights; that's why it's wrong. I'm still thinking out the deeper ramifications of that statement, but I think it's a good one to live by, and pretty much sums up the intent of the law. So long as it doesn't interfere with other people's rights, do as ye will. Contrary to popular belief, the right to see/hear/be exposed only to opinions, beliefs, and behaviors that you agree with is not a basic human right.
That, ultimately, is what bugs me about this whole thing: my rights, which are not interfering with anyone else's, are being limited because of other people's beliefs/opinions, and ultimately, their insecurities.
Ah well, as I said above, this is a stupid little thing that ultimately doesn't matter. And as much as I may want to make this into a political statement or a personal vendetta, barrettes are a stupid thing to fight a ware over, and to be honest, I like my job and coworkers more than barrettes. Even if they are a pretty shade of blue.