the bowling alley
yeahh tonite was crap. i went to the bowling alley, with katie, jen, bri, john, john m, jill, and justine. it was good to see justine; havent seen her in a while. well anyway, john m is just like Carson Carson Carson! oh wait no ur Jay! (characters on queer eye for the straight guy) and im just like yeah yeah yeah blah blah blah ur Carson, and i didnt even say much, but then after he did it a couple more times and put in my name as "Carson" in the name-thing, i just broke down and yelled, "ok your the fuckin faggot here queer blah blahh." i realize it hurt his feelings and stuff, and i really shouldnt have said it, but gimme a break. i dont even quite kno what he calls me when he's "teasing" me.. i just take it as an insult and get mad, i usually do say things i dont mean when im pissed off..and sick..and had a crappy day...etc. etc.
so yeah we bowled and stuff and then after i just feel wicked sick like im gonna throw up or die or something, as im about to leave i hear in a mocking voice "oh im the fuckin faggot! etc etc.." and i turned back and say "i said it because u are the fuckin faggot" so he just goes off telling me how much i talk shit about him, how many ppl tell him i talk shit about him and like every other bad thing i am, im like wat the fuck? the worst thing i said about him was last week i just made a joke to jen kt and bri and i said "now playing: Confessions of a teenage drama queen starring john macelroy." i dont really count that as "talking shit," especially with the amount of sticking-up for him i do with the ppl in my classes, with ppl such as greg marshall and such. i dont think its fair, and i kno exactly who told him i "talk shit." this all goes back to the fact that often enough, i can't stand the people i'm with. i really feel like im losing my friends, and to an extent its my fault because some of them i dont like to begin with. and drama--don't even get me started with drama. i did a lot of complaining about it last play but this time we're only a week in and im tired of it. its too many hours for me..i work 3-6 and have like 10 minutes to eat then im out the door for drama..unless its wednesday where i just work 3-4 and i got drama and gala basically 4-9. and i dont like the people, i cant count on my right hand the people i really like in it..i should quit now before i get too far into it and i have to "extra-committed." yeah committed to a mental institution, thats wat it feels like sometimes, it literally drives me crazy. nobody likes me in it either. i have a feeling bri doesnt like me, but that's prolly because her mom hates me for one reason or another..matt hates me now, he never liked me but after this week he must hate me, i'd hate me too..most of crew doesnt like me coz i dont do anything for crew..and the freshmen like everyone so they don't count. basically that leaves like hayley and jen. and katie if u count crew. katie; i said it before and i'll say it again, i wish there were more katies in the world, or at least ppl who act like her. she is my best friend, and without her i'd be completely lost.
well today i had a really crappy day, before the bowling alley. i was just really depressed, partly because of the normal daily blows of life, and partly because i just thought about how much i want a girlfriend. i talked to kaylee about it, and she made me feel a lot better. i really like kaylee, she's awesome, and she's a professional ass saver.
ok that's a nice long enough entry, considering my usual entries are like 1 paragraph long. but im gonna go to bed. im sick, its late, (i know its gonna say like 8:45 on the time but its really midnight right now), and i just all in all need a good 12 hours of sleep.
jared
so yeah we bowled and stuff and then after i just feel wicked sick like im gonna throw up or die or something, as im about to leave i hear in a mocking voice "oh im the fuckin faggot! etc etc.." and i turned back and say "i said it because u are the fuckin faggot" so he just goes off telling me how much i talk shit about him, how many ppl tell him i talk shit about him and like every other bad thing i am, im like wat the fuck? the worst thing i said about him was last week i just made a joke to jen kt and bri and i said "now playing: Confessions of a teenage drama queen starring john macelroy." i dont really count that as "talking shit," especially with the amount of sticking-up for him i do with the ppl in my classes, with ppl such as greg marshall and such. i dont think its fair, and i kno exactly who told him i "talk shit." this all goes back to the fact that often enough, i can't stand the people i'm with. i really feel like im losing my friends, and to an extent its my fault because some of them i dont like to begin with. and drama--don't even get me started with drama. i did a lot of complaining about it last play but this time we're only a week in and im tired of it. its too many hours for me..i work 3-6 and have like 10 minutes to eat then im out the door for drama..unless its wednesday where i just work 3-4 and i got drama and gala basically 4-9. and i dont like the people, i cant count on my right hand the people i really like in it..i should quit now before i get too far into it and i have to "extra-committed." yeah committed to a mental institution, thats wat it feels like sometimes, it literally drives me crazy. nobody likes me in it either. i have a feeling bri doesnt like me, but that's prolly because her mom hates me for one reason or another..matt hates me now, he never liked me but after this week he must hate me, i'd hate me too..most of crew doesnt like me coz i dont do anything for crew..and the freshmen like everyone so they don't count. basically that leaves like hayley and jen. and katie if u count crew. katie; i said it before and i'll say it again, i wish there were more katies in the world, or at least ppl who act like her. she is my best friend, and without her i'd be completely lost.
well today i had a really crappy day, before the bowling alley. i was just really depressed, partly because of the normal daily blows of life, and partly because i just thought about how much i want a girlfriend. i talked to kaylee about it, and she made me feel a lot better. i really like kaylee, she's awesome, and she's a professional ass saver.
ok that's a nice long enough entry, considering my usual entries are like 1 paragraph long. but im gonna go to bed. im sick, its late, (i know its gonna say like 8:45 on the time but its really midnight right now), and i just all in all need a good 12 hours of sleep.
jared