(no subject)
Well my mom did once again. She manages to make me feel like the biggest stupidest person in the world. She managed to get my math mark ( somewhere around a 63ish) and goes absolutly ballistic. Like you cannot understand my russian parents. Well just my mom, she has the biggest problem in the world. In the slightest moment she can make me lose composure jsut like that, and the worst thoughts come to my head.
" Oh suck it up, dont cry in your room. You should be angry!"-mom
Like she does not understand the impact of comments on my emotional self. I just can't take the pressure from her anymore. They have insanley high standards from me, and even in the backest of my mind, I know that she is SOMEWHAT right, not completely tho. I just can;t fucking take it when she loses track of what she is saying and doesnt realize what it's doing to me.
After she was done her screaming lecture, I lost control and knowing that she would be listining to me study, I went in the closet and fucking lost it. Crying into my sweatshirt... just shaking because I was so upset. Only my mom has the power to make me just lose all my strongness and stability and I hate it... and then I'm expected to study for a retest... while my eyes are all red and puffy, tears running down my face, and me nearly hyperventiliating.
I FUCKING HATE YOU, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME. I JUST HATE MY MOM SO MUCH. ONLY YO CAN DRIVE ME THOUGHTS TO THE WORST POSSIBLE THINGS..
Great, I'm crying again.
" Oh suck it up, dont cry in your room. You should be angry!"-mom
Like she does not understand the impact of comments on my emotional self. I just can't take the pressure from her anymore. They have insanley high standards from me, and even in the backest of my mind, I know that she is SOMEWHAT right, not completely tho. I just can;t fucking take it when she loses track of what she is saying and doesnt realize what it's doing to me.
After she was done her screaming lecture, I lost control and knowing that she would be listining to me study, I went in the closet and fucking lost it. Crying into my sweatshirt... just shaking because I was so upset. Only my mom has the power to make me just lose all my strongness and stability and I hate it... and then I'm expected to study for a retest... while my eyes are all red and puffy, tears running down my face, and me nearly hyperventiliating.
I FUCKING HATE YOU, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME. I JUST HATE MY MOM SO MUCH. ONLY YO CAN DRIVE ME THOUGHTS TO THE WORST POSSIBLE THINGS..
Great, I'm crying again.