[ THE WEIGHT OF BOTH OF US / fanfiction/ NC-17 / sex, historical references, castration ]
Title: The Weight of Both of Us
Author: slash4femme
Fandom: Hetalia
Pairing/Category: Japan/China
Rating: NC-17
Warning: sex, historical references, castration
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, I do not make money off of doing this. The only thing I'm getting out of this is pure unadulterated creative enjoyment and less hours for me to spend doing my real work.
Summary: this relationship is their secret which means Yao's secrets are now Kiku's secrets too
Author Note: beta read by kecen, all remaining errors are mine.
Kiku sometimes thinks it is ironic.
He sits stiffly on the other side of the table from Yao. While Yao is in full military uniform, heavy cloth making him look bigger and more intimidating then he is, Kiku is dressed in an expensive black suit.
Peace between them has been such a fragile thing for so long, lying atop poorly-concealed hostility.
Both their bosses are talking about trading rights, while they try to act like civilized nations towards one another. There is a heavy layer of unease in the room; still, Kiku reflects, it is something that they are here at all. Yao doesn’t meet his eyes during the entire meeting, and Kiku schools his own face to blankness and sips at his glass of water.
Yao catches him in the bathroom on the last day of the official visit, and backs him up against the nearest sink. Long delicate fingers so strong they could shatter a human man’s jaw with ease clamp around Kiku's chin and tilt his face up. Yao kisses him, gently, lips sliding against lips; Kiku opens his mouth with a sigh and a small noise. Yao tongue flicks in, strokes against teeth, tongue and pallet before Yao lets him go, turning away and leaving the room. Kiku grips the sink and has to wait until his breathing evens out and then splash cold water on his face before he can go back out as well.
The rest of the visit passes without incident, although the atmosphere is just as tense as the rest of the trip had been. When Kiku gets back to Japan the next day, he goes straight to his Tokyo apartment and passes out still fully-clothed, only bothering to take off his dress jacket and tie. About halfway through the night he wakes up uncomfortable and twisted in his clothes, groggily strips off what is left, and crawls under the covers, before falling asleep again.
He wakes with a warm weight pressed on top of him. It is testament to how long it has been since he lived under the shadow of death that he had not woken earlier. He blinks sleepily up to find Yao lying on top of him smiling down. The older nation’s hair falls loose in a long black wave around his face, and he is wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
“Good morning.”
Kiku sits up a little, Yao sits back so that the other nation can move, and Kiku blinks groggily, “Good morning.”
Yao leans forward and kisses Kiku briefly on the lips before jumping up.
“I’m making breakfast.”
Yao pads into the kitchen and Kiku rubs his hands across his face before getting up. He pulls on a pair of soft house pants and a t-shirt before wandering into the kitchen. Yao sets a cup of tea down in front of him and a bowl of miso soup.
“Thank you for breakfast Yao, how long have you been here?” Kiku asks, studying his breakfast and then the kitchen proper.
“A couple hours.”
“And you haven’t slept yet?”
Yao hums a little to himself and sits down across from Kiku with his own teacup.
“I thought I could sleep later, but I wanted to spend some time with you first, before you have to rush off somewhere.”
Kiku rubs his forehead,
“I’m very sorry but I think I have a meeting-”
“I thought you might.” Kiku sighs, and Yao smiles a little at him.
“If it helps, I also have work. They’re just things I can take care of from the computer.”
He nods in the direction of a small overnight bag, a computer case, and brief case resting against the kitchen counter. Kiku finishes off his soup, setting the bowl aside before standing and kissing Yao on the forehead.
“Please excuse me, I need to get ready. Sleep a little today alright?”
He heads back into the bedroom to get ready for work. A little while later he come back out to find Yao had tidied up the kitchen, and is now in front of his laptop to go through his e-mail. Kiku kisses him one last time before grabbing his briefcase and heading out for the day.
When Kiku gets home Yao is asleep, curled up on Kiku’s futon. Kiku pulls off his tie and sits next to the other nation. Yao is dressed in a pair of Kiku’s pajama pants, which are a little too short for him, and the same t-shirt he had been wearing that morning. Kiku strokes long silken hair away from the other’s face, and Yao sighs a little in his sleep, full pink lips opening ever so slightly as Yao leans into the touch. Kiku smiles and feels something strangely gentle and warm fill his chest.
It's new and fragile, this thing between them. For thousands upon thousands of years Yao had been so many things to Kiku, beloved older brother, enemy, obsession. Though this is the first time they have tried being something more then enemies and sometimes-lovers, but partners and equals. Kiku has found over the last few months that he likes it, he likes sharing this quiet domestic space with Yao, likes waking up with the other nation, eating dinner with him, kissing him goodbye on the cheek each day. He likes having Yao here with him without the taint of fear and shame. Kiku’s hand lingers on Yao cheek and Yao’s eyes slowly blink open.
“Did you have a good day?” Yao sits up, rubbing his face and pulling his hair back over his shoulder.
Kiku nods.
“It was fine, thank you, just long and tiring. I wish I had time for other things that aren’t meetings. Did you get your own work done?”
“Yes.” Yao stretches, long back arching and then yawns, “Are you going to make me dinner, Kiku?”
Kiku blinks up at him in time to see Yao’s teasing smile, “Yes, if you like.”
Kiku changes into jeans and a t-shirt, and cooks them dango jiru. Yao pads around the apartment, going to the bathroom, and braiding his hair while checking the voice mail on his celphone.
“Not that I mind but how long are you staying?” Kiku asks quietly when they sit down together at the table.
“Only another day.” Yao looks unhappily down at his soup, “I couldn’t arrange any longer then that.”
Kiku nods even as disappointment twists in his stomach. Their bosses do not know about their relationship, in fact no one knows, that they are anything more then long time enemies and tentative allies. Kiku supposes that it makes this thing between them an affair, which surprises him because he’d never imagined himself having an affair.
“You’re frowning. Are you really going to miss me that much?”
Yao reaches across the table and touch Kiku’s forehead briefly where little frown lines have appeared.
“I will miss you.” Kiku tells him and Yao’s expression becomes softer.
“I’ll miss you too, but I will be back soon, and we will see each other at the upcoming UN meeting.” Kiku makes a face at the mention of yet another meeting and Yao excuses himself and goes to the bathroom.
Kiku finds his mind wandering to the soft curves of Yao body underneath his loose fitting clothes. He gathers up the dishes and brings them to the sink, and after a minute or so Yao joins him. Kiku turns from the sink and kisses the other nation and Yao’s arms wrap around the smaller nations waist. They deepen the kiss, and Yao tilts his head to one side and Kiku’s tongue flicks against lips, teeth and tongue. Kiku gently strokes across Yao’s cheek, tangles fingers in his hair a little before they pull back.
“Do you want to have sex?”
Kiku damns himself silently for blushing at Yao’s bluntness. He leans forward and almost tentatively kisses the skin right behind Yao’s ear. Yao makes a small noise and leans towards him.
“Do you want to?” Kiku asks and Yao leans forward until their foreheads can press together.
“Yes.”
Yao answer is spoken without hesitation and Kiku feels happiness well up in his chest because Yao doesn’t say that often. He slides his hands around Yao’s waist and draws them closer together so that he is leaning against the slightly taller nation. He kiss the soft line of Yao’s neck and hears him sigh and hum in pleasure. They kiss again; a long, slow and messy press of lips, teeth and tongue, and Kiku gently bites at Yao’s lips as they pull apart to breathe. Yao's face is flushed a little, breath coming a little quicker and Kiku smiles and pulls him in the direction of the bedroom. Once back in front of Kiku’s still unmade futon, Yao gives the younger nation one last quick kiss before pulling away completely.
“I’ll be right back.” Yao tells Kiku before walking to the other’s closet, taking something out and heading to the bathroom. Kiku sits on the futon before pulling off his shirt, going to the closet himself and rummaging around until he comes up with a small vibrator and a tube of personal lubricant, bringing both back to the bed with him.
Yao comes out of the bathroom, long hair once more freely flowing down his back. He is dressed in a red kimono with koi embroidered in gold across it --- a gift from Kiku when they had started sleeping together again a few months earlier.
Once, long ago, Yao had loved beautiful embroidered silk clothing, and Kiku knew how Yao loved to dress in clothes that were heavy and lush before sleeping with someone, so they would need to carefully undress him first. Kiku won’t deny that Yao is beautiful this way, so reminiscent of the beautiful older brother Kiku had idolized once. Besides, Kiku loves seeing Yao in Japanese clothing.
Yao sits prettily on the bed and raises his eyebrows when he sees the lube and vibrator.
“Thinking about starting without me?”
Kiku gives no answer, except to crawl over to the other nation and kiss him, stroking his fingers down neck and shoulders. Yao tilts his head a little, and Kiku kisses down his throat, biting a little at the other nation’s fragile collarbone. Kiku licks up Yao throat and kisses behind his ear, and Yao sighs and giggles, his own hands moving up Kiku’s torso, tracing the long burn scar that runs from hipbone to collar and is the mirror image to the one on Kiku’s back. He wraps his arms around the smaller nation and pulls Kiku into his lap, before undoing the button on Kiku’s jeans. Kiku undoes Yao’s obi, but when the slightly taller nation makes to push him back onto the bed, Kiku stops him.
“Wait, please, let me tonight.” They’re gaze locks, and then Yao slowly nods and lies back on the soft coverlet. Kiku pushes the folds of heavy silk away from Yao’s body. Yao is small and delicate, his body all long graceful lines. Kiku’s eyes travel from full lips, down Yao’s long neck, to strong flat chest and stomach, small waist, and slightly flared hips, to pale thighs. Between those soft thighs though there is nothing, but a small patch of dark hair and a scar.
Kiku remembers the first time he seen Yao naked in a very sexual way. He remembers the defiant tilt of Yao chin, daring him to say any of the things running through is mind. Kiku doesn’t like to admit, even in his own mind, that he had been disgusted that first time, so young and very naive. Yao doesn’t talk about it, so Kiku doesn’t know when or for what reason Yao was castrated. If he were to guess he would say sometime during the Ming Dynasty though. Yao smiles a little at him and stretches out moving against the silk of the kimono so that it falls off one shapely shoulder down Yao’s long arm. Kiku feels his cock stir, full and hard in his constricting pants.
Yao is beautiful like this, stretched out and on display, even more so because Kiku knows that he could easily count on one hand the number of people Yao has willingly stripped naked for. He stretches himself over the other nation and kisses him on the lips and Yao’s hands come up to tangle in Kiku’s short hair. Yao’s long legs wrap around Kiku’s waist and Kiku gently pulls away, cheeks flushed, panting hard. He gently pushes the other nation’s shoulder until Yao lies back once again and Kiku kisses down the pale body in front of him, kisses his way to one small nipple. Kiku teases at it with his tongue then gently sucks it into his mouth, while above him, Yao makes small murmuring noises and pets Kiku’s hair. Kiku looks up into wide golden eyes and Yao smiles at him, strokes one hand against his cheek and Kiku moves to the other nipple, kisses it and then lick at the small nub. He kisses down the flat of Yao’s chest, across his stomach, along the inside of one soft thigh. Yao shifts against the silk on the bed. Kiku pushes himself up and kisses Yao lips once more.
“Turn over, please.” He says softly and Yao hesitates a little, but obeys.
Kiku feels a tightness start in his chest; the thought that Yao should ever fear to turn his back to him in the first place! And yet he knows full well that he deserves such mistrust.
Yao’s back is one long graceful line, and his backside is firm and round. Kiku gives a happy little sigh and kisses him on the back of the neck, gently stroking silken hair out of the way. He kisses down the line of Yao’s back, taking special care to kiss along the long, jagged scar slicing from shoulder to tailbone, he licks gently at it and Yao sighs and arches into the touch.
“Oh Kiku . . . my small one.”
There had been a time when Yao calling him that had enraged him until all he could think about was how he might hurt the other nation and bring him low. Now Kiku nuzzles his face into the gentle dip of Yao lower back. Right at the bottom of the scar, where the long, lean lines of Yao’s spine became the soft swell of his buttocks, there is a tattoo. As if growing from the scar the tattoo depicts a poplar blossom and Kiku traces it with his thumb for several long moments before kissing it gently. Yao had taught him long ago that although beautiful the poplar blossom was weak and therefore represented the betrayal of a lover. Kiku leans forward and gently lets his forehead rest against the image and for a moment lets himself feel guilt, sharp and strong.
“Kiku?” Yao voice is soft and Kiku straightens up and kisses the other nation’s back.
“It’s nothing. Please ignore me.”
Yao looks over his shoulders at the smaller man and his eyes say that he knows it is something. Kiku shakes his head, and then bends forward, pressing their bodies together, chest to back, and kisses Yao tenderly on the lips.
He slides down the long line of Yao’s body to gently spread firm round cheeks, lets his tongue and lips touch Yao there. Yao shakes, and, for the first time that night, his voice comes insistent and needy. Kiku holds him open, tastes Yao in his most secret places.
Yao cries out and pushes back against the warm wetness that circles his tiny opening, gently presses and flicks until muscles relax and begin to open. Yao leans his arms on the bed and hides his flushed face. His body twitches and flutters under the press of Kiku’s mouth and Kiku smiles.
He reaches out across the futon and wraps his fingers around the vibrator. He turns it on and then runs it teasingly around Yao’s small entrance. Yao lets out a soft whimper, fisting the blankets underneath him. Kiku kisses him on the lower back, and gently pushes the vibrator in and Yao’s body stiffens and arches at the sensation and he groans. Kiku kneels back and turns the vibration up, before shimmying out of his pants and boxers. Yao pants and thrust his hips back, and Kiku gently removes the toy, before pressing the tip of his erection against Yao’s willing entrance. Yao whimpers and pushes back and Kiku sits back on his heels. He picks up the lube and Yao watches him as Kiku touches himself, slick the lube onto his cock, and the tip of Yao’s tongue peaks out between his lips. Kiku presses his cock against Yao’s hole again, then pushes in slowly and Yao’s whole body shudders. Kiku tries to go slow while Yao pants pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. Kiku wraps his arms around the older nation’s waist as Yao shakes ever so slightly.
After a long minute of listening to the other’s ragged breathing, he slowly pulls out, then pushes in again. Yao keens a little, pushes back hard with his hips until Kiku is forced to pick up the pace. Yao angles his hips sharply and Kiku gasps and clutches at the other nation below him as the older nation rocks back into him. One of Kiku’s hands shakily strokes across Yao’s chest, pinching at small, tight nipples. Kiku’s hips snap forward over and over, until he’s gasping, trying to draw in shallow shaking breaths, hands clutching at Yao’s hips. He comes body stiffening, face pressed into the other nation’s shoulder blades and Yao sighs softly. Kiku waits, exhausted and shaking until he softens with Yao before pulling out and rolling to the side. Yao kicks the heavy silk kimono off the bed before curling up against Kiku’s body.
“Did it feel good?” Yao strokes the smaller nation’s sweaty hair away from his forehead and kisses him gently. Kiku smiles, blushes and nods kissing him back.
Yao wakes sometime later feeling stiff, and the cum on his thighs feels tacky. He gets up as quietly as possible to keep from waking Kiku and moves the bathroom. He relieves himself and runs the bath. He washes himself off as best he can before climbing into the tub. Yao sighs and relaxes into the hot water; he’s very particular about being clean and loves baths.
He finally stands and gets out of the bath and takes a towel to dry himself off with. He thinks about wrapping it around his waist, but then decides against it, using it to twist up his still-wet hair instead - after all, he is in the house of his lover and it isn’t like he as anything to cover up anyway. Yao's smile is slightly sardonic as he makes his way back into the bedroom where Kiku is half propped up in bed, his hair rumpled and his expression still a little confused from sleep. Yao goes to him, and Kiku wraps his arms around Yao’s naked waist, pressing his face into the other’s stomach.
“Hmm, you’re wet.” Kiku notes.
He sounds more like a small child then he has any right to, considering how old he is and the fact that they had just shared their bodies with each other.
“I took a bath.”
Yao strokes his fingers through Kiku’s hair. Kiku kisses him lightly, just above the navel and then below it. Yao sighs, his eyes fluttering half-shut at the feel of Kiku’s fingers and lips. Kiku tugs until Yao kneels on the bed and then pulls the other nation down to lie beside him. They kiss. Yao cups Kiku’s small, beautiful face in his hands, kisses his lips gently and allows Kiku’s tongue to push into his mouth. Kiku’s mouth leaves a warm, wet trail down Yao’s neck, nipping a little at fragile skin as he goes. He kisses down Yao’s still damn chest and nips a little at the firm belly, before kissing the crease where thigh meets hip. Yao is damp, warm and clean, he smells like Kiku’s soap. Kiku licks at the soft hair that nestles between Yao’s thighs.
The hair is soft and silken against his lips, much more so then anyone he has ever been so intimate with. On Yao’s skin there, underneath the soft hair, right where his body ends there is a tattoo of an octopus, twisting its arms down towards Yao’s thighs and what he no longer has. Kiku nuzzles at it, gently spreads Yao’s thighs apart with his hands. Kiku feels desire stir in his belly and Yao sighs and twists under Kiku’s mouth and hands.
There is a long scar, still raised and very visible, even after what Kiku guesses must be hundreds of years. He follows it with his tongue, traces the tattoo in the same way. He’s almost surprised Yao doesn’t stop him - it is only very recently in their long history together that Yao has allowed Kiku to touch him here with his hand, much less his mouth.
Kiku looks up at the older nation, sees Yao golden eyes fixed on him, sees the way Yao’s wet hair fans around his face. Kiku feels himself grow even harder, and he concentrates on making Yao wet, on bathing that secret space with his tongue. Yao tastes a little like soap and warm clean water and Kiku hums happily to himself. He gently reaches lower between Yao’s legs and touches him where Yao is still stretched and open from earlier that evening. Yao sighs and pushes down against Kiku's careful fingers. He pushes in two as he continues to kiss and lick at the soft space between Yao’s thighs. Yao sighs and rocks back and forth against Kiku’s hand, who feels his own need strengthen and redouble.
“Little one-” Yao says finally voice breathless and strained.
“Please ge-ge, I need you.” Kiku too is having a hard time keeping his voice steady.
Yao sits up and pushes at the other nation’s shoulders until Kiku removes his fingers from the older nation’s body and shifts to lie next to him on the bed.
Yao’s long fingers wrap around Kiku, and strokes him, slowly but firmly. With one hand, Yao gathers his hair back pushing it away from his face. Now, he free to bend down to lick the tip of Kiku’s erection. Kiku makes a small noise and bites at his lip, hips jerking up as Yao takes the tip into his mouth. Yao sucks firmly, hand stroking the base and sometimes cupping Kiku’s balls. He lets go of Kiku to slide one finger into his mouth. There is a wet sound as he pulls the finger free. With his finger he circles the softness of Kiku’s entrance and other nation gasps and writhes. Yao does not push in, but instead draws his finger back. He moves his hand up to his own mouth, this time stretching his lips to fit around two fingers and Kiku’s length. When Yao pushes two slick fingers into Kiku’s body the smaller nation arches off the bed and comes.
After a moment Yao crawls under the blankets, pulling Kiku along with him. They curl up together and this time, they sleep all the way through the night.
Kiku wakes first the next morning and pulls on a pare of pajama pants and a t-shirt. He stumbles into the kitchen and makes himself tea and eggs and rice for Yao. Eventually Yao comes into the kitchen, wearing a t-shirt and the same pajama bottoms as yesterday. His hair is still wet from his morning bath.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning Yao-san”
Yao kisses the back of his neck and Kiku puts down his tea, as not to spill it as he blushes, hand’s shaking a little. Yao is already moving away though. It feels strange to him that he should be like this around Yao, who he has known since he was capable of knowing anything.
It feels strange to feel so lightheaded and yet completely comfortable around the other nation. Strange to glance up and see Yao watching a look of both rapt attention and gentle affection on the other nation’s face. Strange to want nothing more then to cross the small distance and kiss Yao on the lips. He wants to makes Yao promises, he knows in the long run he won’t be able to keep, and hear Yao makes them back to him in return. He wants to live everyday like this one, wants to hold this secret of their affection close.
Yao pulls Kiku down onto the older nation’s lap and Kiku makes an exasperated huffing noise, and Yao laughs. Strange, Kiku thinks, to be so terribly in love, but not unwanted after all.
________________
Notes:
-The kimono Yao wears is top most layer of an old-fashioned women’s kimono. It’s definitely not meant to be worn anywhere other then the bedroom, and maybe around Kiku’s apartment. My assumption is Yao’s own fancy, old-fashioned stuff didn’t survive the Cultural Revolution (http://www.wellesley.edu/Polisci/wj/China1972/brief-intro.html) much to his dismay.
- Eunuchs are not uncommon to Chinese history. Most often eunuchs were used to serve at court and could hold a great deal of power. During the Ming Dynasty not only were there thousands of eunuchs living and working in the Forbidden City but they also held power equal to many scholar-bureaucrats. There were some parts of the Forbidden City that could only be entered by either the Emperor or an eunuch. Many eunuchs where also extremely well educated. Because of this many young men chose to become eunuchs or were chosen to become eunuchs by their families. Warning: detailed descriptions of castration (http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=43&catid=2&subcatid=2)
-Physical side affects of castration such as it was practice in China are a high voice, weight gain and have more soft rounded features. Many castrated men these days take male hormone shots to counteract these side affects. My understanding is things like body change in nations are cause more by politics and social change then hormones so this isn’t as much of a problem for Yao. Warning: detailed descriptions of castration with photographs (http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Penectomy)
-Eunuchs were often thought of as smelly or unclean because completely castration made it hard for them to control their bladders Warning: detailed descriptions of castration (http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=43&catid=2&subcatid=2)
- I am not a hundred and ten percent sure this is right but according to this (http://www.char4u.com/article_info.php?articles_id=134) poplar flowers can symbolize an unfaithful lover. Yao uses it to symbolize Kiku betrayal and cruelty during the Second Sino-Japanese War Warning: graphic depiction of war crimes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_Massacre).
- ge-ge if my translation is right means big brother in Chinese.
Author: slash4femme
Fandom: Hetalia
Pairing/Category: Japan/China
Rating: NC-17
Warning: sex, historical references, castration
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, I do not make money off of doing this. The only thing I'm getting out of this is pure unadulterated creative enjoyment and less hours for me to spend doing my real work.
Summary: this relationship is their secret which means Yao's secrets are now Kiku's secrets too
Author Note: beta read by kecen, all remaining errors are mine.
Kiku sometimes thinks it is ironic.
He sits stiffly on the other side of the table from Yao. While Yao is in full military uniform, heavy cloth making him look bigger and more intimidating then he is, Kiku is dressed in an expensive black suit.
Peace between them has been such a fragile thing for so long, lying atop poorly-concealed hostility.
Both their bosses are talking about trading rights, while they try to act like civilized nations towards one another. There is a heavy layer of unease in the room; still, Kiku reflects, it is something that they are here at all. Yao doesn’t meet his eyes during the entire meeting, and Kiku schools his own face to blankness and sips at his glass of water.
Yao catches him in the bathroom on the last day of the official visit, and backs him up against the nearest sink. Long delicate fingers so strong they could shatter a human man’s jaw with ease clamp around Kiku's chin and tilt his face up. Yao kisses him, gently, lips sliding against lips; Kiku opens his mouth with a sigh and a small noise. Yao tongue flicks in, strokes against teeth, tongue and pallet before Yao lets him go, turning away and leaving the room. Kiku grips the sink and has to wait until his breathing evens out and then splash cold water on his face before he can go back out as well.
The rest of the visit passes without incident, although the atmosphere is just as tense as the rest of the trip had been. When Kiku gets back to Japan the next day, he goes straight to his Tokyo apartment and passes out still fully-clothed, only bothering to take off his dress jacket and tie. About halfway through the night he wakes up uncomfortable and twisted in his clothes, groggily strips off what is left, and crawls under the covers, before falling asleep again.
He wakes with a warm weight pressed on top of him. It is testament to how long it has been since he lived under the shadow of death that he had not woken earlier. He blinks sleepily up to find Yao lying on top of him smiling down. The older nation’s hair falls loose in a long black wave around his face, and he is wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
“Good morning.”
Kiku sits up a little, Yao sits back so that the other nation can move, and Kiku blinks groggily, “Good morning.”
Yao leans forward and kisses Kiku briefly on the lips before jumping up.
“I’m making breakfast.”
Yao pads into the kitchen and Kiku rubs his hands across his face before getting up. He pulls on a pair of soft house pants and a t-shirt before wandering into the kitchen. Yao sets a cup of tea down in front of him and a bowl of miso soup.
“Thank you for breakfast Yao, how long have you been here?” Kiku asks, studying his breakfast and then the kitchen proper.
“A couple hours.”
“And you haven’t slept yet?”
Yao hums a little to himself and sits down across from Kiku with his own teacup.
“I thought I could sleep later, but I wanted to spend some time with you first, before you have to rush off somewhere.”
Kiku rubs his forehead,
“I’m very sorry but I think I have a meeting-”
“I thought you might.” Kiku sighs, and Yao smiles a little at him.
“If it helps, I also have work. They’re just things I can take care of from the computer.”
He nods in the direction of a small overnight bag, a computer case, and brief case resting against the kitchen counter. Kiku finishes off his soup, setting the bowl aside before standing and kissing Yao on the forehead.
“Please excuse me, I need to get ready. Sleep a little today alright?”
He heads back into the bedroom to get ready for work. A little while later he come back out to find Yao had tidied up the kitchen, and is now in front of his laptop to go through his e-mail. Kiku kisses him one last time before grabbing his briefcase and heading out for the day.
When Kiku gets home Yao is asleep, curled up on Kiku’s futon. Kiku pulls off his tie and sits next to the other nation. Yao is dressed in a pair of Kiku’s pajama pants, which are a little too short for him, and the same t-shirt he had been wearing that morning. Kiku strokes long silken hair away from the other’s face, and Yao sighs a little in his sleep, full pink lips opening ever so slightly as Yao leans into the touch. Kiku smiles and feels something strangely gentle and warm fill his chest.
It's new and fragile, this thing between them. For thousands upon thousands of years Yao had been so many things to Kiku, beloved older brother, enemy, obsession. Though this is the first time they have tried being something more then enemies and sometimes-lovers, but partners and equals. Kiku has found over the last few months that he likes it, he likes sharing this quiet domestic space with Yao, likes waking up with the other nation, eating dinner with him, kissing him goodbye on the cheek each day. He likes having Yao here with him without the taint of fear and shame. Kiku’s hand lingers on Yao cheek and Yao’s eyes slowly blink open.
“Did you have a good day?” Yao sits up, rubbing his face and pulling his hair back over his shoulder.
Kiku nods.
“It was fine, thank you, just long and tiring. I wish I had time for other things that aren’t meetings. Did you get your own work done?”
“Yes.” Yao stretches, long back arching and then yawns, “Are you going to make me dinner, Kiku?”
Kiku blinks up at him in time to see Yao’s teasing smile, “Yes, if you like.”
Kiku changes into jeans and a t-shirt, and cooks them dango jiru. Yao pads around the apartment, going to the bathroom, and braiding his hair while checking the voice mail on his celphone.
“Not that I mind but how long are you staying?” Kiku asks quietly when they sit down together at the table.
“Only another day.” Yao looks unhappily down at his soup, “I couldn’t arrange any longer then that.”
Kiku nods even as disappointment twists in his stomach. Their bosses do not know about their relationship, in fact no one knows, that they are anything more then long time enemies and tentative allies. Kiku supposes that it makes this thing between them an affair, which surprises him because he’d never imagined himself having an affair.
“You’re frowning. Are you really going to miss me that much?”
Yao reaches across the table and touch Kiku’s forehead briefly where little frown lines have appeared.
“I will miss you.” Kiku tells him and Yao’s expression becomes softer.
“I’ll miss you too, but I will be back soon, and we will see each other at the upcoming UN meeting.” Kiku makes a face at the mention of yet another meeting and Yao excuses himself and goes to the bathroom.
Kiku finds his mind wandering to the soft curves of Yao body underneath his loose fitting clothes. He gathers up the dishes and brings them to the sink, and after a minute or so Yao joins him. Kiku turns from the sink and kisses the other nation and Yao’s arms wrap around the smaller nations waist. They deepen the kiss, and Yao tilts his head to one side and Kiku’s tongue flicks against lips, teeth and tongue. Kiku gently strokes across Yao’s cheek, tangles fingers in his hair a little before they pull back.
“Do you want to have sex?”
Kiku damns himself silently for blushing at Yao’s bluntness. He leans forward and almost tentatively kisses the skin right behind Yao’s ear. Yao makes a small noise and leans towards him.
“Do you want to?” Kiku asks and Yao leans forward until their foreheads can press together.
“Yes.”
Yao answer is spoken without hesitation and Kiku feels happiness well up in his chest because Yao doesn’t say that often. He slides his hands around Yao’s waist and draws them closer together so that he is leaning against the slightly taller nation. He kiss the soft line of Yao’s neck and hears him sigh and hum in pleasure. They kiss again; a long, slow and messy press of lips, teeth and tongue, and Kiku gently bites at Yao’s lips as they pull apart to breathe. Yao's face is flushed a little, breath coming a little quicker and Kiku smiles and pulls him in the direction of the bedroom. Once back in front of Kiku’s still unmade futon, Yao gives the younger nation one last quick kiss before pulling away completely.
“I’ll be right back.” Yao tells Kiku before walking to the other’s closet, taking something out and heading to the bathroom. Kiku sits on the futon before pulling off his shirt, going to the closet himself and rummaging around until he comes up with a small vibrator and a tube of personal lubricant, bringing both back to the bed with him.
Yao comes out of the bathroom, long hair once more freely flowing down his back. He is dressed in a red kimono with koi embroidered in gold across it --- a gift from Kiku when they had started sleeping together again a few months earlier.
Once, long ago, Yao had loved beautiful embroidered silk clothing, and Kiku knew how Yao loved to dress in clothes that were heavy and lush before sleeping with someone, so they would need to carefully undress him first. Kiku won’t deny that Yao is beautiful this way, so reminiscent of the beautiful older brother Kiku had idolized once. Besides, Kiku loves seeing Yao in Japanese clothing.
Yao sits prettily on the bed and raises his eyebrows when he sees the lube and vibrator.
“Thinking about starting without me?”
Kiku gives no answer, except to crawl over to the other nation and kiss him, stroking his fingers down neck and shoulders. Yao tilts his head a little, and Kiku kisses down his throat, biting a little at the other nation’s fragile collarbone. Kiku licks up Yao throat and kisses behind his ear, and Yao sighs and giggles, his own hands moving up Kiku’s torso, tracing the long burn scar that runs from hipbone to collar and is the mirror image to the one on Kiku’s back. He wraps his arms around the smaller nation and pulls Kiku into his lap, before undoing the button on Kiku’s jeans. Kiku undoes Yao’s obi, but when the slightly taller nation makes to push him back onto the bed, Kiku stops him.
“Wait, please, let me tonight.” They’re gaze locks, and then Yao slowly nods and lies back on the soft coverlet. Kiku pushes the folds of heavy silk away from Yao’s body. Yao is small and delicate, his body all long graceful lines. Kiku’s eyes travel from full lips, down Yao’s long neck, to strong flat chest and stomach, small waist, and slightly flared hips, to pale thighs. Between those soft thighs though there is nothing, but a small patch of dark hair and a scar.
Kiku remembers the first time he seen Yao naked in a very sexual way. He remembers the defiant tilt of Yao chin, daring him to say any of the things running through is mind. Kiku doesn’t like to admit, even in his own mind, that he had been disgusted that first time, so young and very naive. Yao doesn’t talk about it, so Kiku doesn’t know when or for what reason Yao was castrated. If he were to guess he would say sometime during the Ming Dynasty though. Yao smiles a little at him and stretches out moving against the silk of the kimono so that it falls off one shapely shoulder down Yao’s long arm. Kiku feels his cock stir, full and hard in his constricting pants.
Yao is beautiful like this, stretched out and on display, even more so because Kiku knows that he could easily count on one hand the number of people Yao has willingly stripped naked for. He stretches himself over the other nation and kisses him on the lips and Yao’s hands come up to tangle in Kiku’s short hair. Yao’s long legs wrap around Kiku’s waist and Kiku gently pulls away, cheeks flushed, panting hard. He gently pushes the other nation’s shoulder until Yao lies back once again and Kiku kisses down the pale body in front of him, kisses his way to one small nipple. Kiku teases at it with his tongue then gently sucks it into his mouth, while above him, Yao makes small murmuring noises and pets Kiku’s hair. Kiku looks up into wide golden eyes and Yao smiles at him, strokes one hand against his cheek and Kiku moves to the other nipple, kisses it and then lick at the small nub. He kisses down the flat of Yao’s chest, across his stomach, along the inside of one soft thigh. Yao shifts against the silk on the bed. Kiku pushes himself up and kisses Yao lips once more.
“Turn over, please.” He says softly and Yao hesitates a little, but obeys.
Kiku feels a tightness start in his chest; the thought that Yao should ever fear to turn his back to him in the first place! And yet he knows full well that he deserves such mistrust.
Yao’s back is one long graceful line, and his backside is firm and round. Kiku gives a happy little sigh and kisses him on the back of the neck, gently stroking silken hair out of the way. He kisses down the line of Yao’s back, taking special care to kiss along the long, jagged scar slicing from shoulder to tailbone, he licks gently at it and Yao sighs and arches into the touch.
“Oh Kiku . . . my small one.”
There had been a time when Yao calling him that had enraged him until all he could think about was how he might hurt the other nation and bring him low. Now Kiku nuzzles his face into the gentle dip of Yao lower back. Right at the bottom of the scar, where the long, lean lines of Yao’s spine became the soft swell of his buttocks, there is a tattoo. As if growing from the scar the tattoo depicts a poplar blossom and Kiku traces it with his thumb for several long moments before kissing it gently. Yao had taught him long ago that although beautiful the poplar blossom was weak and therefore represented the betrayal of a lover. Kiku leans forward and gently lets his forehead rest against the image and for a moment lets himself feel guilt, sharp and strong.
“Kiku?” Yao voice is soft and Kiku straightens up and kisses the other nation’s back.
“It’s nothing. Please ignore me.”
Yao looks over his shoulders at the smaller man and his eyes say that he knows it is something. Kiku shakes his head, and then bends forward, pressing their bodies together, chest to back, and kisses Yao tenderly on the lips.
He slides down the long line of Yao’s body to gently spread firm round cheeks, lets his tongue and lips touch Yao there. Yao shakes, and, for the first time that night, his voice comes insistent and needy. Kiku holds him open, tastes Yao in his most secret places.
Yao cries out and pushes back against the warm wetness that circles his tiny opening, gently presses and flicks until muscles relax and begin to open. Yao leans his arms on the bed and hides his flushed face. His body twitches and flutters under the press of Kiku’s mouth and Kiku smiles.
He reaches out across the futon and wraps his fingers around the vibrator. He turns it on and then runs it teasingly around Yao’s small entrance. Yao lets out a soft whimper, fisting the blankets underneath him. Kiku kisses him on the lower back, and gently pushes the vibrator in and Yao’s body stiffens and arches at the sensation and he groans. Kiku kneels back and turns the vibration up, before shimmying out of his pants and boxers. Yao pants and thrust his hips back, and Kiku gently removes the toy, before pressing the tip of his erection against Yao’s willing entrance. Yao whimpers and pushes back and Kiku sits back on his heels. He picks up the lube and Yao watches him as Kiku touches himself, slick the lube onto his cock, and the tip of Yao’s tongue peaks out between his lips. Kiku presses his cock against Yao’s hole again, then pushes in slowly and Yao’s whole body shudders. Kiku tries to go slow while Yao pants pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. Kiku wraps his arms around the older nation’s waist as Yao shakes ever so slightly.
After a long minute of listening to the other’s ragged breathing, he slowly pulls out, then pushes in again. Yao keens a little, pushes back hard with his hips until Kiku is forced to pick up the pace. Yao angles his hips sharply and Kiku gasps and clutches at the other nation below him as the older nation rocks back into him. One of Kiku’s hands shakily strokes across Yao’s chest, pinching at small, tight nipples. Kiku’s hips snap forward over and over, until he’s gasping, trying to draw in shallow shaking breaths, hands clutching at Yao’s hips. He comes body stiffening, face pressed into the other nation’s shoulder blades and Yao sighs softly. Kiku waits, exhausted and shaking until he softens with Yao before pulling out and rolling to the side. Yao kicks the heavy silk kimono off the bed before curling up against Kiku’s body.
“Did it feel good?” Yao strokes the smaller nation’s sweaty hair away from his forehead and kisses him gently. Kiku smiles, blushes and nods kissing him back.
Yao wakes sometime later feeling stiff, and the cum on his thighs feels tacky. He gets up as quietly as possible to keep from waking Kiku and moves the bathroom. He relieves himself and runs the bath. He washes himself off as best he can before climbing into the tub. Yao sighs and relaxes into the hot water; he’s very particular about being clean and loves baths.
He finally stands and gets out of the bath and takes a towel to dry himself off with. He thinks about wrapping it around his waist, but then decides against it, using it to twist up his still-wet hair instead - after all, he is in the house of his lover and it isn’t like he as anything to cover up anyway. Yao's smile is slightly sardonic as he makes his way back into the bedroom where Kiku is half propped up in bed, his hair rumpled and his expression still a little confused from sleep. Yao goes to him, and Kiku wraps his arms around Yao’s naked waist, pressing his face into the other’s stomach.
“Hmm, you’re wet.” Kiku notes.
He sounds more like a small child then he has any right to, considering how old he is and the fact that they had just shared their bodies with each other.
“I took a bath.”
Yao strokes his fingers through Kiku’s hair. Kiku kisses him lightly, just above the navel and then below it. Yao sighs, his eyes fluttering half-shut at the feel of Kiku’s fingers and lips. Kiku tugs until Yao kneels on the bed and then pulls the other nation down to lie beside him. They kiss. Yao cups Kiku’s small, beautiful face in his hands, kisses his lips gently and allows Kiku’s tongue to push into his mouth. Kiku’s mouth leaves a warm, wet trail down Yao’s neck, nipping a little at fragile skin as he goes. He kisses down Yao’s still damn chest and nips a little at the firm belly, before kissing the crease where thigh meets hip. Yao is damp, warm and clean, he smells like Kiku’s soap. Kiku licks at the soft hair that nestles between Yao’s thighs.
The hair is soft and silken against his lips, much more so then anyone he has ever been so intimate with. On Yao’s skin there, underneath the soft hair, right where his body ends there is a tattoo of an octopus, twisting its arms down towards Yao’s thighs and what he no longer has. Kiku nuzzles at it, gently spreads Yao’s thighs apart with his hands. Kiku feels desire stir in his belly and Yao sighs and twists under Kiku’s mouth and hands.
There is a long scar, still raised and very visible, even after what Kiku guesses must be hundreds of years. He follows it with his tongue, traces the tattoo in the same way. He’s almost surprised Yao doesn’t stop him - it is only very recently in their long history together that Yao has allowed Kiku to touch him here with his hand, much less his mouth.
Kiku looks up at the older nation, sees Yao golden eyes fixed on him, sees the way Yao’s wet hair fans around his face. Kiku feels himself grow even harder, and he concentrates on making Yao wet, on bathing that secret space with his tongue. Yao tastes a little like soap and warm clean water and Kiku hums happily to himself. He gently reaches lower between Yao’s legs and touches him where Yao is still stretched and open from earlier that evening. Yao sighs and pushes down against Kiku's careful fingers. He pushes in two as he continues to kiss and lick at the soft space between Yao’s thighs. Yao sighs and rocks back and forth against Kiku’s hand, who feels his own need strengthen and redouble.
“Little one-” Yao says finally voice breathless and strained.
“Please ge-ge, I need you.” Kiku too is having a hard time keeping his voice steady.
Yao sits up and pushes at the other nation’s shoulders until Kiku removes his fingers from the older nation’s body and shifts to lie next to him on the bed.
Yao’s long fingers wrap around Kiku, and strokes him, slowly but firmly. With one hand, Yao gathers his hair back pushing it away from his face. Now, he free to bend down to lick the tip of Kiku’s erection. Kiku makes a small noise and bites at his lip, hips jerking up as Yao takes the tip into his mouth. Yao sucks firmly, hand stroking the base and sometimes cupping Kiku’s balls. He lets go of Kiku to slide one finger into his mouth. There is a wet sound as he pulls the finger free. With his finger he circles the softness of Kiku’s entrance and other nation gasps and writhes. Yao does not push in, but instead draws his finger back. He moves his hand up to his own mouth, this time stretching his lips to fit around two fingers and Kiku’s length. When Yao pushes two slick fingers into Kiku’s body the smaller nation arches off the bed and comes.
After a moment Yao crawls under the blankets, pulling Kiku along with him. They curl up together and this time, they sleep all the way through the night.
Kiku wakes first the next morning and pulls on a pare of pajama pants and a t-shirt. He stumbles into the kitchen and makes himself tea and eggs and rice for Yao. Eventually Yao comes into the kitchen, wearing a t-shirt and the same pajama bottoms as yesterday. His hair is still wet from his morning bath.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning Yao-san”
Yao kisses the back of his neck and Kiku puts down his tea, as not to spill it as he blushes, hand’s shaking a little. Yao is already moving away though. It feels strange to him that he should be like this around Yao, who he has known since he was capable of knowing anything.
It feels strange to feel so lightheaded and yet completely comfortable around the other nation. Strange to glance up and see Yao watching a look of both rapt attention and gentle affection on the other nation’s face. Strange to want nothing more then to cross the small distance and kiss Yao on the lips. He wants to makes Yao promises, he knows in the long run he won’t be able to keep, and hear Yao makes them back to him in return. He wants to live everyday like this one, wants to hold this secret of their affection close.
Yao pulls Kiku down onto the older nation’s lap and Kiku makes an exasperated huffing noise, and Yao laughs. Strange, Kiku thinks, to be so terribly in love, but not unwanted after all.
________________
Notes:
-The kimono Yao wears is top most layer of an old-fashioned women’s kimono. It’s definitely not meant to be worn anywhere other then the bedroom, and maybe around Kiku’s apartment. My assumption is Yao’s own fancy, old-fashioned stuff didn’t survive the Cultural Revolution (http://www.wellesley.edu/Polisci/wj/China1972/brief-intro.html) much to his dismay.
- Eunuchs are not uncommon to Chinese history. Most often eunuchs were used to serve at court and could hold a great deal of power. During the Ming Dynasty not only were there thousands of eunuchs living and working in the Forbidden City but they also held power equal to many scholar-bureaucrats. There were some parts of the Forbidden City that could only be entered by either the Emperor or an eunuch. Many eunuchs where also extremely well educated. Because of this many young men chose to become eunuchs or were chosen to become eunuchs by their families. Warning: detailed descriptions of castration (http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=43&catid=2&subcatid=2)
-Physical side affects of castration such as it was practice in China are a high voice, weight gain and have more soft rounded features. Many castrated men these days take male hormone shots to counteract these side affects. My understanding is things like body change in nations are cause more by politics and social change then hormones so this isn’t as much of a problem for Yao. Warning: detailed descriptions of castration with photographs (http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Penectomy)
-Eunuchs were often thought of as smelly or unclean because completely castration made it hard for them to control their bladders Warning: detailed descriptions of castration (http://factsanddetails.com/china.php?itemid=43&catid=2&subcatid=2)
- I am not a hundred and ten percent sure this is right but according to this (http://www.char4u.com/article_info.php?articles_id=134) poplar flowers can symbolize an unfaithful lover. Yao uses it to symbolize Kiku betrayal and cruelty during the Second Sino-Japanese War Warning: graphic depiction of war crimes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nanking_Massacre).
- ge-ge if my translation is right means big brother in Chinese.