[Pippa] Four Times Tegoshi Mentally Scarred Someone Whilst Wearing a Skirt
Four Times Tegoshi Mentally Scarred Someone Whilst Wearing a Skirt (And One Time Someone Joined In)
PG-13; warnings for cross-dressing (duh), crack, Jin insulting Tegoshi, making fun of MatsuJun, and mass trauma.
Starring (in order of appearance): Tegoshi, Yamapi, Jin, Ueda, Koki, Koyama, Koyama's mom, Koyama's dad, MatsuJun, Aiba, Nino, Ohno, Sho, Ryo, Shige, and Massu.
This is all bakemonokun's fault. ♥ to Tasha, Kate, Vix and Brit for listening to me.
:: I ::
The vacuum cleaner was switched off twenty minutes ago. Tegoshi had fun prancing around singing I Want to Break Free for a while, but even the attraction of Freddie Mercury only lasts so long in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon. He thought about washing some dishes, but he couldn’t find the Marigolds and didn’t want to dry out his skin, so instead he grabbed a mop and started washing down the kitchen floor.
He had just started singing Chirarizumu to himself (because it seemed appropriate) when he heard the front door opening and the sound of two people walking in to their apartment. “Okaeri!” Tegoshi called out, and the conversation stopped.
“T-Tegoshi?” That voice was easily identifiable as Yamapi’s, and Tegoshi could hear a low grumble that had to be Akanishi-kun.
“In the kitchen, Yamashita-kun～” Tegoshi called out, continuing to mop the floor as he heard footsteps approaching.
“Tego… Yuuko, what are you doing here?” Yamapi asked, and Tegoshi looked up and smiled at his idol.
“Yuuko, what?” Jin stood behind Yamapi and peered over the other man’s shoulder, and then paled. “What the fuck! That’s my skirt! …And those are my shoes! You… you little shit!”
“Ne, Yamashita-kun, I think I look pretty good in these clothes, ne～” Tegoshi blinked at Yamapi, who seemed unable to speak for a moment.
“I… I think you should probably get changed, Yuuko-chan,” Yamapi said after a moment. “I think Jin is going to pass out.”
“I don’t want those clothes back now!” Jin flailed from the sofa. “How do you expect me to get into that skirt knowing that it’s been that close to Tegobrat’s ass?! I hate you both.”
“Does this mean Akanishi-kun is letting me keep these?” Tegoshi asked sweetly. “Akanishi-kun is very kind, ne,” he added, and Jin moaned and covered his face with his palms.
:: II ::
Ueda’s excuse was that he had run out of contact lenses and had been forced to use his spare pair of glasses, which were made to match an older prescription.
That was the story he told everyone afterwards, anyway.
It wasn’t his fault that the girl had nice legs, and was wearing a shamefully short skirt that caught his attention. She was asking for it, really, with her long hair that tumbled down her back and those pretty legs… True, he usually preferred the older, more sophisticated type, but it was only natural to be attracted to pretty girls, right?
She was leaning against the wall outside the Jimusho, her face partially hidden by her hair as she looked down at her cell phone, thumbs moving at a blur as she typed out an email to someone. One of her group of equally-cute friends, Ueda assumed.
“Excuse me, miss,” Ueda said, “are you alright?”
“Ah, I’m fine, thank you, Ueda-san,” she said, looking up and smiling at him. “I’m just waiting for Koki-kun, ne. He promised to take me out for a meal tonight.”
Ueda paused. This girl looked remarkably familiar, but he was certain that Koki hadn’t mentioned being romantically connected with anyone recently. She had a very nice smile. And very nice legs.
“Hey, Tegoshi,” Koki said, raising his hand in salute as he left the building. “Ah, you’re ‘Yuuko’ today, huh? Cool. I like Yuuko.”
“…” Ueda felt his cheeks colouring. He’d been in the industry for long enough by now; he should be immune to traps.
“Oh, look, Koki-kun, Ueda-san is cute when he’s embarrassed, ne,” Yuuko said, closing her - his - dammit - cell phone and tucking it into her - his purse. “Do you think we should invite him along with us, next time?”
Koki looked at Ueda, and grinned. Ueda did not like the look of that smile. “I don’t think Tat-chan could handle what you wear underneath that skirt, Yuuko-chan,” he said, and held out his hand. “Come on, Honey.”
Ueda leaned against the wall as the two idols walked away. If he didn’t, he thought he might fall down. He swallowed, and found that his throat was horribly dry.
“…I need a drink.”
:: III ::
When Koyama invited Tegoshi over to his house for a meal he assumed it would be sort of like how things always were when Shige came over; casual, relaxed, fun, and with the occasional sneeze and hasty fumble for the antihistamines.
He hadn’t told his parents who was coming; he’d never needed to, really - his parents liked all of his friends. So when the taxi rolled up and Yuuko stepped out, Koyama nearly had a heart attack.
“Tegoshi!” he hissed, racing out to meet his group mate from the car. “How come you’re like this today?”
“Ah, I thought I’d look pretty today, ne,” Tegoshi said. “I haven’t seen your parents for a while, and I wanted to dress up nice.”
“But,” Koyama spluttered, but then his mother was at the door, calling them in.
“Hello, my dear!” she said, beaming as Tegoshi bowed politely. “Kei-chan didn’t mention that the ‘friend’ he was bringing home was such a pretty lady!”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Tegoshi said politely. “I’m Tegoshi Yuuko. Yoroshiku, ne!”
“Tegoshi? You’re not related to Yuuya-kun from Kei-chan’s work, are you?” Koya-mama asked, and Koyama paled. “You look related, certainly.”
“I do look very similar to Yuuya, yes,” Tegoshi nodded, and Koyama took his coat and provided a pair of guest slippers.
“Well, come on in, make yourself comfortable!” Koya-mama smiled and Tegoshi smiled back. Internally, Koyama worried.
Over dinner, Tegoshi was polite and friendly; everything that Koyama knew his parents hoped for in a girl. When Koya-mama and Yuuko rose to go and fetch the desserts, Koya-papa grinned at his son, who squirmed uncomfortably.
“She’s a very pretty girl, your Yuuko-chan,” he commented, and Koyama felt his cheeks burning. “I think I like her better than some of the others you’ve brought home. And it’s nice that she’s Yuuya-kun’s cousin. It’s better to date someone who understands the industry, ne?”
Koyama writhed with internal guilt. “We’re not dating, Dad,” he said. “We’re just, you know, friends.”
“You don’t have to keep secrets from me, son,” his father said with a wink. “I’m not the press, remember? You two certainly have a very easy friendship. I bet she’s certainly very ‘friendly’ towards you, too.”
“Dad,” Koyama tried not to die of embarrassment. “Please, Dad.”
“You haven’t given her one yet?” Koyama-san looked surprised. “I’d get a move on, if I were you. If I was your age again, and I hadn’t met your mother, I know what I’d be doing tonight.”
Koyama didn’t think he had ever been more mortified in his entire life.
When Tegoshi thanked them all for a lovely afternoon and went to take his leave, Koyama accompanied him out to the car. “Tegoshi,” he said seriously, “you know I love you very much, but please, for the love of Nyanta, never do that again. Ever.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Kei-chan,” Tegoshi said, blinking up at the taller man. “Did I make you uncomfortable?” He reached up and placed a kiss on Koyama’s cheek. “I’ll behave better next time, ne.”
Koyama caught a glimpse of his father giving him a thumbs-up from the living room window, and silently wondered if he shouldn’t have simply stuck to being a ramen chef instead of an idol.
:: IV ::
MatsuJun is used to people cross-dressing. He’s been in Johnny’s since 1996, after all, and thirteen years in the company of boys who wear sequins and feather boas for a living grants one a certain kind of immunity.
He’s not used to people looking good dressed as girls, however. This has never particularly fazed him, after all; MatsuJun is a member of Arashi, a group that specialises in looking good even when they look awful (especially when he is in the frame).
“I was hanging out with Yamashita-kun the other day,” Aiba says one Monday morning, and Jun flicks through his magazine and pretends not to be interested. “Tegoshi-kun looks really good in a skirt, ne.”
“Really,” Nino comments, and Aiba nods.
“Really! Yamashita-kun sent some photos to my cell phone. Want to see?”
“Okay,” Nino nods, and Ohno makes a tiny noise as his pillow moves away. “Oh, hey, you’re right. Does he have a special name when he dresses up like that? You know, like, Lola or something. Jun, you should see these.”
“I’d rather not,” Jun says dismissively, but then there is the sound of movement and suddenly Aiba’s cell phone is peeking over the top of his magazine and there… there… is…
MatsuJun stares at the picture for a long, long while without saying a word, and then the picture starts to wobble because Aiba’s arm is getting tired.
“You like Yuuko-chan, then, Jun-kun?” Aiba says, and Nino grins at Jun’s frightened expression.
“I don’t like girls,” Jun says, tearing his eyes away from the pretty, pretty hair and the pretty, pretty smile and the pretty, pretty dress. “I like. I like Arashi.”
“Arashi likes you too, Jun-kun,” Aiba nods. “Arashi will still like Jun-kun even if he decides he’s a little bit straight, after all.”
“Don’t say things like that!” Jun says, eyes widening for the briefest of moments before returning to his casually-trained Look of Disinterest. “Even pretty boys dressed as pretty girls won’t make me stop loving Arashi the best.”
Nino sends the pictures to MatsuJun’s phone anyway.
:: V ::
Neither Tegoshi or Aiba show up for rehearsal the next day. Nobody knows where they’ve gone, and after an hour of waiting around and of leaving unanswered messages on voicemails, both Arashi and NEWS send out the emergency search parties, which basically means that both groups end up scouring the entire Jimusho in case they’ve somehow got lost inside the building (never mind the fact that both men have been working in aforementioned building for a very long time).
Ryo and Sho arrive at the same place at the same time, stop, and look at each other. Ryo knows that he must be right in his suspicion, because a) it’s his Tego-nyan, and b) if Sho is here too he must be right, because everybody knows that Sho is a genius even if he also fails a lot.
Then, they hear the giggles, coming from directly inside the closet door outside which they were standing. It sounds like two people.
“…I am not certain that I am brave enough to tackle this on my own,” Sho admits, and Ryo nods, pulling out his cell phone.
“Time to call in reinforcements?”
Sho nods, and grabs his own phone, hastily sending Ohno an email and BCCing it to Nino and Jun.
Before too long, there are nine people standing in the corridor outside the closet, and the laughter continues to sputter out from behind the door every once in a while.
Then, the thumping starts. Slow, steady, and rhythmic. The giggles still sound, but they are breathless, and Koyama pales, clutching to Shige for support.
“It’s definitely them, right?” Jun asks. “We haven’t located Tackey & Tsubasa’s Sex Closet by mistake?”
“No, it’s definitely them,” Ryo nods, and the muscles in Sho’s jaw tense up.
“Fuck this,” Ryo says, and wrenches the door open.
The sight that meets their eyes is not what they had first expected. None of them are entirely certain whether this alternative is better or worse.
“I jiggle!” Aiba says, spluttering with helpless laughter as he jumps up and down on the spot, clutching his chest. “Look at them! They bounce!”
“I know!” Tegoshi gurgles, rolling around on the floor, his skirt riding higher and higher. “Aren’t they so much fun?”
“No wonder you always dress up like this,” Aiba marvels, squeezing his false breasts. “They’re so soft! And supple!”
“Do you want to touch mine?” Tegoshi gets to his feet, completely oblivious to the shocked stares of the other people outside the open closet door. “Feel them!”
“Ooh,” Aiba reaches out and fondles Tegoshi’s chest. “They feel so real!”
“If I touch yours as well, it’s almost like we’re lesbians,” Tegoshi says.
Aiba giggles helplessly. “I’ve never been a lesbian before, ne!”
Massu silently closes the door. None of them can meet each others’ eyes as they head back to their respective dressing rooms.
It’s generally agreed that none of them will ever mention Yuuko and Masako’s Lesbian Adventure ever again.
～end～
PG-13; warnings for cross-dressing (duh), crack, Jin insulting Tegoshi, making fun of MatsuJun, and mass trauma.
Starring (in order of appearance): Tegoshi, Yamapi, Jin, Ueda, Koki, Koyama, Koyama's mom, Koyama's dad, MatsuJun, Aiba, Nino, Ohno, Sho, Ryo, Shige, and Massu.
This is all bakemonokun's fault. ♥ to Tasha, Kate, Vix and Brit for listening to me.
:: I ::
The vacuum cleaner was switched off twenty minutes ago. Tegoshi had fun prancing around singing I Want to Break Free for a while, but even the attraction of Freddie Mercury only lasts so long in the middle of a Wednesday afternoon. He thought about washing some dishes, but he couldn’t find the Marigolds and didn’t want to dry out his skin, so instead he grabbed a mop and started washing down the kitchen floor.
He had just started singing Chirarizumu to himself (because it seemed appropriate) when he heard the front door opening and the sound of two people walking in to their apartment. “Okaeri!” Tegoshi called out, and the conversation stopped.
“T-Tegoshi?” That voice was easily identifiable as Yamapi’s, and Tegoshi could hear a low grumble that had to be Akanishi-kun.
“In the kitchen, Yamashita-kun～” Tegoshi called out, continuing to mop the floor as he heard footsteps approaching.
“Tego… Yuuko, what are you doing here?” Yamapi asked, and Tegoshi looked up and smiled at his idol.
“Yuuko, what?” Jin stood behind Yamapi and peered over the other man’s shoulder, and then paled. “What the fuck! That’s my skirt! …And those are my shoes! You… you little shit!”
“Ne, Yamashita-kun, I think I look pretty good in these clothes, ne～” Tegoshi blinked at Yamapi, who seemed unable to speak for a moment.
“I… I think you should probably get changed, Yuuko-chan,” Yamapi said after a moment. “I think Jin is going to pass out.”
“I don’t want those clothes back now!” Jin flailed from the sofa. “How do you expect me to get into that skirt knowing that it’s been that close to Tegobrat’s ass?! I hate you both.”
“Does this mean Akanishi-kun is letting me keep these?” Tegoshi asked sweetly. “Akanishi-kun is very kind, ne,” he added, and Jin moaned and covered his face with his palms.
:: II ::
Ueda’s excuse was that he had run out of contact lenses and had been forced to use his spare pair of glasses, which were made to match an older prescription.
That was the story he told everyone afterwards, anyway.
It wasn’t his fault that the girl had nice legs, and was wearing a shamefully short skirt that caught his attention. She was asking for it, really, with her long hair that tumbled down her back and those pretty legs… True, he usually preferred the older, more sophisticated type, but it was only natural to be attracted to pretty girls, right?
She was leaning against the wall outside the Jimusho, her face partially hidden by her hair as she looked down at her cell phone, thumbs moving at a blur as she typed out an email to someone. One of her group of equally-cute friends, Ueda assumed.
“Excuse me, miss,” Ueda said, “are you alright?”
“Ah, I’m fine, thank you, Ueda-san,” she said, looking up and smiling at him. “I’m just waiting for Koki-kun, ne. He promised to take me out for a meal tonight.”
Ueda paused. This girl looked remarkably familiar, but he was certain that Koki hadn’t mentioned being romantically connected with anyone recently. She had a very nice smile. And very nice legs.
“Hey, Tegoshi,” Koki said, raising his hand in salute as he left the building. “Ah, you’re ‘Yuuko’ today, huh? Cool. I like Yuuko.”
“…” Ueda felt his cheeks colouring. He’d been in the industry for long enough by now; he should be immune to traps.
“Oh, look, Koki-kun, Ueda-san is cute when he’s embarrassed, ne,” Yuuko said, closing her - his - dammit - cell phone and tucking it into her - his purse. “Do you think we should invite him along with us, next time?”
Koki looked at Ueda, and grinned. Ueda did not like the look of that smile. “I don’t think Tat-chan could handle what you wear underneath that skirt, Yuuko-chan,” he said, and held out his hand. “Come on, Honey.”
Ueda leaned against the wall as the two idols walked away. If he didn’t, he thought he might fall down. He swallowed, and found that his throat was horribly dry.
“…I need a drink.”
:: III ::
When Koyama invited Tegoshi over to his house for a meal he assumed it would be sort of like how things always were when Shige came over; casual, relaxed, fun, and with the occasional sneeze and hasty fumble for the antihistamines.
He hadn’t told his parents who was coming; he’d never needed to, really - his parents liked all of his friends. So when the taxi rolled up and Yuuko stepped out, Koyama nearly had a heart attack.
“Tegoshi!” he hissed, racing out to meet his group mate from the car. “How come you’re like this today?”
“Ah, I thought I’d look pretty today, ne,” Tegoshi said. “I haven’t seen your parents for a while, and I wanted to dress up nice.”
“But,” Koyama spluttered, but then his mother was at the door, calling them in.
“Hello, my dear!” she said, beaming as Tegoshi bowed politely. “Kei-chan didn’t mention that the ‘friend’ he was bringing home was such a pretty lady!”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Tegoshi said politely. “I’m Tegoshi Yuuko. Yoroshiku, ne!”
“Tegoshi? You’re not related to Yuuya-kun from Kei-chan’s work, are you?” Koya-mama asked, and Koyama paled. “You look related, certainly.”
“I do look very similar to Yuuya, yes,” Tegoshi nodded, and Koyama took his coat and provided a pair of guest slippers.
“Well, come on in, make yourself comfortable!” Koya-mama smiled and Tegoshi smiled back. Internally, Koyama worried.
Over dinner, Tegoshi was polite and friendly; everything that Koyama knew his parents hoped for in a girl. When Koya-mama and Yuuko rose to go and fetch the desserts, Koya-papa grinned at his son, who squirmed uncomfortably.
“She’s a very pretty girl, your Yuuko-chan,” he commented, and Koyama felt his cheeks burning. “I think I like her better than some of the others you’ve brought home. And it’s nice that she’s Yuuya-kun’s cousin. It’s better to date someone who understands the industry, ne?”
Koyama writhed with internal guilt. “We’re not dating, Dad,” he said. “We’re just, you know, friends.”
“You don’t have to keep secrets from me, son,” his father said with a wink. “I’m not the press, remember? You two certainly have a very easy friendship. I bet she’s certainly very ‘friendly’ towards you, too.”
“Dad,” Koyama tried not to die of embarrassment. “Please, Dad.”
“You haven’t given her one yet?” Koyama-san looked surprised. “I’d get a move on, if I were you. If I was your age again, and I hadn’t met your mother, I know what I’d be doing tonight.”
Koyama didn’t think he had ever been more mortified in his entire life.
When Tegoshi thanked them all for a lovely afternoon and went to take his leave, Koyama accompanied him out to the car. “Tegoshi,” he said seriously, “you know I love you very much, but please, for the love of Nyanta, never do that again. Ever.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Kei-chan,” Tegoshi said, blinking up at the taller man. “Did I make you uncomfortable?” He reached up and placed a kiss on Koyama’s cheek. “I’ll behave better next time, ne.”
Koyama caught a glimpse of his father giving him a thumbs-up from the living room window, and silently wondered if he shouldn’t have simply stuck to being a ramen chef instead of an idol.
:: IV ::
MatsuJun is used to people cross-dressing. He’s been in Johnny’s since 1996, after all, and thirteen years in the company of boys who wear sequins and feather boas for a living grants one a certain kind of immunity.
He’s not used to people looking good dressed as girls, however. This has never particularly fazed him, after all; MatsuJun is a member of Arashi, a group that specialises in looking good even when they look awful (especially when he is in the frame).
“I was hanging out with Yamashita-kun the other day,” Aiba says one Monday morning, and Jun flicks through his magazine and pretends not to be interested. “Tegoshi-kun looks really good in a skirt, ne.”
“Really,” Nino comments, and Aiba nods.
“Really! Yamashita-kun sent some photos to my cell phone. Want to see?”
“Okay,” Nino nods, and Ohno makes a tiny noise as his pillow moves away. “Oh, hey, you’re right. Does he have a special name when he dresses up like that? You know, like, Lola or something. Jun, you should see these.”
“I’d rather not,” Jun says dismissively, but then there is the sound of movement and suddenly Aiba’s cell phone is peeking over the top of his magazine and there… there… is…
MatsuJun stares at the picture for a long, long while without saying a word, and then the picture starts to wobble because Aiba’s arm is getting tired.
“You like Yuuko-chan, then, Jun-kun?” Aiba says, and Nino grins at Jun’s frightened expression.
“I don’t like girls,” Jun says, tearing his eyes away from the pretty, pretty hair and the pretty, pretty smile and the pretty, pretty dress. “I like. I like Arashi.”
“Arashi likes you too, Jun-kun,” Aiba nods. “Arashi will still like Jun-kun even if he decides he’s a little bit straight, after all.”
“Don’t say things like that!” Jun says, eyes widening for the briefest of moments before returning to his casually-trained Look of Disinterest. “Even pretty boys dressed as pretty girls won’t make me stop loving Arashi the best.”
Nino sends the pictures to MatsuJun’s phone anyway.
:: V ::
Neither Tegoshi or Aiba show up for rehearsal the next day. Nobody knows where they’ve gone, and after an hour of waiting around and of leaving unanswered messages on voicemails, both Arashi and NEWS send out the emergency search parties, which basically means that both groups end up scouring the entire Jimusho in case they’ve somehow got lost inside the building (never mind the fact that both men have been working in aforementioned building for a very long time).
Ryo and Sho arrive at the same place at the same time, stop, and look at each other. Ryo knows that he must be right in his suspicion, because a) it’s his Tego-nyan, and b) if Sho is here too he must be right, because everybody knows that Sho is a genius even if he also fails a lot.
Then, they hear the giggles, coming from directly inside the closet door outside which they were standing. It sounds like two people.
“…I am not certain that I am brave enough to tackle this on my own,” Sho admits, and Ryo nods, pulling out his cell phone.
“Time to call in reinforcements?”
Sho nods, and grabs his own phone, hastily sending Ohno an email and BCCing it to Nino and Jun.
Before too long, there are nine people standing in the corridor outside the closet, and the laughter continues to sputter out from behind the door every once in a while.
Then, the thumping starts. Slow, steady, and rhythmic. The giggles still sound, but they are breathless, and Koyama pales, clutching to Shige for support.
“It’s definitely them, right?” Jun asks. “We haven’t located Tackey & Tsubasa’s Sex Closet by mistake?”
“No, it’s definitely them,” Ryo nods, and the muscles in Sho’s jaw tense up.
“Fuck this,” Ryo says, and wrenches the door open.
The sight that meets their eyes is not what they had first expected. None of them are entirely certain whether this alternative is better or worse.
“I jiggle!” Aiba says, spluttering with helpless laughter as he jumps up and down on the spot, clutching his chest. “Look at them! They bounce!”
“I know!” Tegoshi gurgles, rolling around on the floor, his skirt riding higher and higher. “Aren’t they so much fun?”
“No wonder you always dress up like this,” Aiba marvels, squeezing his false breasts. “They’re so soft! And supple!”
“Do you want to touch mine?” Tegoshi gets to his feet, completely oblivious to the shocked stares of the other people outside the open closet door. “Feel them!”
“Ooh,” Aiba reaches out and fondles Tegoshi’s chest. “They feel so real!”
“If I touch yours as well, it’s almost like we’re lesbians,” Tegoshi says.
Aiba giggles helplessly. “I’ve never been a lesbian before, ne!”
Massu silently closes the door. None of them can meet each others’ eyes as they head back to their respective dressing rooms.
It’s generally agreed that none of them will ever mention Yuuko and Masako’s Lesbian Adventure ever again.
～end～