[Vix] Never Alone
Never Alone
PG13; Sho/Hikaru
Hikaru had hoped to see Sho one last time, but it wasn't to be...
-
Hikaru had hoped to see Sho one last time, but it wasn't to be...
"Sho!" His fist was beginning to hurt from the abuse he had put it through for the last forty minutes, banging on Sho's apartment door hard enough to wake the dead, but Hikaru was numb to the pain, thumping and bashing until he was sure he would crash through to the other side at any moment.
"Sho, open the door!"
He knew the other man was home, he had called over and over, and heard the jazzy, tinkling ringtone Sho had set to his number - saying it reminded him of the way Hikaru's eyes would sparkle when he smiled - coming from the other side of the door, and Sho never left without his cellphone. But he refused to let him in, or even acknowledge Hikaru's presence.
"Come on, Sho!"
Sho had last shown up for work two weeks ago to film his scenes with Nagi for Hikaru's last movie in the industry, and, after leaving with a smile and his usual wave, no-one had seen him since. He had been due in again two days later, to film his scene with Hikaru, but hadn't shown up, and hadn't been returning any of their calls or visits. Their director had even left a message threatening to fire him - even though they all knew that would never happen, next to Hikaru, Sho was the biggest money maker he had - but Sho had ignored that too, seemingly uncaring about the stake of his job, preferring to hole himself up in his tiny apartment and forget about the world outside.
"Goddammit, let me in!"
They had been forced to leave out Hikaru and Sho's scene together, as the movie was due out in less than a week, and there wouldn't be time to get everything filmed and edited before it hit the shelves, so the staff had put together a rather excessive amount of offshots and extras to fill in the time that the last scene would have had. It would never measure up to their previous films together, but it would have to do, the staff had decided, because it didn't look like Sho was coming out of hibernation any time soon.
"Sho!!"
Hikaru was at his wits end, his chest unbearably tight with the notion that Sho didn't want to see him, didn't care about him in the slightest now that Hikaru was leaving the industry. Was that all he had been good for, a long, heated session in front of the camera and a quick fuck up against the wall when they had a day off? Obviously he had been wrong in thinking that soft smile Sho gave him sometimes when he thought no-one was looking, that tiny glint in his eyes when he looked at him was more than it seemed.
"Please.."
Sho buried his head further under his pillow as he heard Hikaru's voice crack, willing the man outside to leave him in peace. He'd listened to the messages, the upset ones, the pleading ones, the enraged ones, and he knew that Hikaru knew nothing about how he was feeling. He couldn't bear to set eyes on him, not when he knew it would be the last time he could do so.
Go away...
He scrubbed angrily at his face, dried tears making the skin sore and stiff as he tried to move, limbs heavy from disuse. Snatching up a Stitch plushie that, ironically, Hikaru had given him for his birthday the year before, he threw it half-heartedly at the door, the blue ball of fur landing feet away from its destination, staring up at him sadly from the carpet.
Just leave me be...
The banging had stopped, but this new sound was much, much worse. Hikaru's sobs were soul destroying, his voice coming in choked gasps now as he begged to be let inside, heard a soft thud as the younger man dropped to the floor outside. He was speaking, but Sho couldn't hear the words, mind clouded with terrible, malicious thoughts of how Hikaru must be leaving because of these new friends of his, because he was ashamed of his old friends, because of what they did for a living. He was a model now, making a name for himself without sleeping with other men, and now Sho wasn't good enough for him.
I can't face you anymore...
He was only here because their director had sent him as a last resort. If anyone could get him to open the door, they all thought, it would be Hikaru. Sweet, smiling, beautiful, sickly, traitorous Hikaru. Off to see bigger and better things now, the world was his oyster now that he had managed to claw his way out of the industry, something that many had tried to do, but failed. Well, as far as Sho was concerned, the world could have him. He hoped they would be very happy together.
You're nothing to me...
But the more Hikaru cried, the more Sho felt his frozen exterior melting. Even if Hikaru was leaving him, he was here now, he was here, and he was sobbing his heart out, and it was tearing Sho apart to listen to it. He couldn't just sit there and do nothing, that would make him as bad as Hikaru. Sho would never abandon his friends, no matter what. Sho would never dream of leaving them behind. His legs ached as he dragged himself over to the door, arms feeling like they were filled with lead as he raised them to unlatch it, the telltale click causing Hikaru's soft sounds to catch in his throat.
"Sho?"
Sho retreated back into his bedroom, watching with hard eyes as Hikaru tested the handle, the door swinging outwards easily now, and the other man stepped inside, politely closing the door behind him and toeing off his shoes. His face was flushed, eyes red and puffy, damp trails covering his cheeks and Sho thought he had never looked more beautiful.
"I thought I'd better let you in, you're disturbing the neighbours."
Sho started as he suddenly found himself with an armful of Hikaru, the other man having leapt into Sho's lap, arms throwing themselves around his neck as Hikaru's nose found its way beneath the longer strands of hair that were now brushing against his shoulders. He felt the other man inhale deeply, drawing Sho's scent up through his nose and letting the breath out in a soft sigh that tickled his throat.
"I thought you weren't going to let me in..."
He led back, and Hikaru followed, denim-clad legs intertwining with Sho's own bare ones, the older man not having bothered to put on anything other than his boxer shorts for the past week - he wasn't exactly expecting to have company that he would let through the front door.
"I wasn't."
The way Hikaru clung to him was strangely satisfying, reminding Sho of the way a koala bear would cling to its mother, and for a moment, looking down at Hikaru's reddened face, Sho forgot why he was angry. Hikaru was here, in his arms, just where he had wanted him to be. Hikaru wasn't just here to flash that smile of his that turned Sho's knees to jelly and then drag him in to work to finish the movie. He had been outside sobbing so hard it sounded like it was causing him physical pain, like he was being put through some sort of twisted, sadistic torture where tiny beings had crawled into his body and were slowly ripping apart his insides, bit by bit.
"Is this it for us? Now that I'm leaving the company, are we.. Am I.."
Hikaru couldn't quite bring himself to say it, but braced himself for the inevitable, glad that Sho was at least allowing him this one last moment of comfort before he was cast out of his life forever. Hikaru wanted to believe that if he'd known how badly Sho would react, he would have chosen to stay, and turned down the modelling contract. He had been so sure everyone would be happy for him, and that they had been so close to each other that they would continue to all be friends, to all see each other whenever they wanted, that nothing would change. Sadly, Hikaru thought he would have made the same decision, even if it meant losing Sho for good.
"That's what you want, isn't it."
Sho's voice was cold again, too cold, and it sent a shiver down Hikaru's spine. He had never heard the other man sound so distant, so lost, so broken. He barely managed not to splutter in disbelief, features painting genuine shock across his face as he tilted his head to look up at Sho, eyes round with surprise.
"Of course not!"
He tightened his grip, nuzzling his face against Sho's chest and tried to picture Sho's grinning face, his stupid impressions, the high-pitched laughter he had always found so adorable. He smiled in remembrance - it really had been too long since he had heard Sho laugh - and knew that he could never, never leave this behind. And as he felt Sho's lips brush softly over his forehead, knew that by some unspoken agreement, Sho would not be casting him aside, either.
You're everything to me.
PG13; Sho/Hikaru
Hikaru had hoped to see Sho one last time, but it wasn't to be...
-
Hikaru had hoped to see Sho one last time, but it wasn't to be...
"Sho!" His fist was beginning to hurt from the abuse he had put it through for the last forty minutes, banging on Sho's apartment door hard enough to wake the dead, but Hikaru was numb to the pain, thumping and bashing until he was sure he would crash through to the other side at any moment.
"Sho, open the door!"
He knew the other man was home, he had called over and over, and heard the jazzy, tinkling ringtone Sho had set to his number - saying it reminded him of the way Hikaru's eyes would sparkle when he smiled - coming from the other side of the door, and Sho never left without his cellphone. But he refused to let him in, or even acknowledge Hikaru's presence.
"Come on, Sho!"
Sho had last shown up for work two weeks ago to film his scenes with Nagi for Hikaru's last movie in the industry, and, after leaving with a smile and his usual wave, no-one had seen him since. He had been due in again two days later, to film his scene with Hikaru, but hadn't shown up, and hadn't been returning any of their calls or visits. Their director had even left a message threatening to fire him - even though they all knew that would never happen, next to Hikaru, Sho was the biggest money maker he had - but Sho had ignored that too, seemingly uncaring about the stake of his job, preferring to hole himself up in his tiny apartment and forget about the world outside.
"Goddammit, let me in!"
They had been forced to leave out Hikaru and Sho's scene together, as the movie was due out in less than a week, and there wouldn't be time to get everything filmed and edited before it hit the shelves, so the staff had put together a rather excessive amount of offshots and extras to fill in the time that the last scene would have had. It would never measure up to their previous films together, but it would have to do, the staff had decided, because it didn't look like Sho was coming out of hibernation any time soon.
"Sho!!"
Hikaru was at his wits end, his chest unbearably tight with the notion that Sho didn't want to see him, didn't care about him in the slightest now that Hikaru was leaving the industry. Was that all he had been good for, a long, heated session in front of the camera and a quick fuck up against the wall when they had a day off? Obviously he had been wrong in thinking that soft smile Sho gave him sometimes when he thought no-one was looking, that tiny glint in his eyes when he looked at him was more than it seemed.
"Please.."
Sho buried his head further under his pillow as he heard Hikaru's voice crack, willing the man outside to leave him in peace. He'd listened to the messages, the upset ones, the pleading ones, the enraged ones, and he knew that Hikaru knew nothing about how he was feeling. He couldn't bear to set eyes on him, not when he knew it would be the last time he could do so.
Go away...
He scrubbed angrily at his face, dried tears making the skin sore and stiff as he tried to move, limbs heavy from disuse. Snatching up a Stitch plushie that, ironically, Hikaru had given him for his birthday the year before, he threw it half-heartedly at the door, the blue ball of fur landing feet away from its destination, staring up at him sadly from the carpet.
Just leave me be...
The banging had stopped, but this new sound was much, much worse. Hikaru's sobs were soul destroying, his voice coming in choked gasps now as he begged to be let inside, heard a soft thud as the younger man dropped to the floor outside. He was speaking, but Sho couldn't hear the words, mind clouded with terrible, malicious thoughts of how Hikaru must be leaving because of these new friends of his, because he was ashamed of his old friends, because of what they did for a living. He was a model now, making a name for himself without sleeping with other men, and now Sho wasn't good enough for him.
I can't face you anymore...
He was only here because their director had sent him as a last resort. If anyone could get him to open the door, they all thought, it would be Hikaru. Sweet, smiling, beautiful, sickly, traitorous Hikaru. Off to see bigger and better things now, the world was his oyster now that he had managed to claw his way out of the industry, something that many had tried to do, but failed. Well, as far as Sho was concerned, the world could have him. He hoped they would be very happy together.
You're nothing to me...
But the more Hikaru cried, the more Sho felt his frozen exterior melting. Even if Hikaru was leaving him, he was here now, he was here, and he was sobbing his heart out, and it was tearing Sho apart to listen to it. He couldn't just sit there and do nothing, that would make him as bad as Hikaru. Sho would never abandon his friends, no matter what. Sho would never dream of leaving them behind. His legs ached as he dragged himself over to the door, arms feeling like they were filled with lead as he raised them to unlatch it, the telltale click causing Hikaru's soft sounds to catch in his throat.
"Sho?"
Sho retreated back into his bedroom, watching with hard eyes as Hikaru tested the handle, the door swinging outwards easily now, and the other man stepped inside, politely closing the door behind him and toeing off his shoes. His face was flushed, eyes red and puffy, damp trails covering his cheeks and Sho thought he had never looked more beautiful.
"I thought I'd better let you in, you're disturbing the neighbours."
Sho started as he suddenly found himself with an armful of Hikaru, the other man having leapt into Sho's lap, arms throwing themselves around his neck as Hikaru's nose found its way beneath the longer strands of hair that were now brushing against his shoulders. He felt the other man inhale deeply, drawing Sho's scent up through his nose and letting the breath out in a soft sigh that tickled his throat.
"I thought you weren't going to let me in..."
He led back, and Hikaru followed, denim-clad legs intertwining with Sho's own bare ones, the older man not having bothered to put on anything other than his boxer shorts for the past week - he wasn't exactly expecting to have company that he would let through the front door.
"I wasn't."
The way Hikaru clung to him was strangely satisfying, reminding Sho of the way a koala bear would cling to its mother, and for a moment, looking down at Hikaru's reddened face, Sho forgot why he was angry. Hikaru was here, in his arms, just where he had wanted him to be. Hikaru wasn't just here to flash that smile of his that turned Sho's knees to jelly and then drag him in to work to finish the movie. He had been outside sobbing so hard it sounded like it was causing him physical pain, like he was being put through some sort of twisted, sadistic torture where tiny beings had crawled into his body and were slowly ripping apart his insides, bit by bit.
"Is this it for us? Now that I'm leaving the company, are we.. Am I.."
Hikaru couldn't quite bring himself to say it, but braced himself for the inevitable, glad that Sho was at least allowing him this one last moment of comfort before he was cast out of his life forever. Hikaru wanted to believe that if he'd known how badly Sho would react, he would have chosen to stay, and turned down the modelling contract. He had been so sure everyone would be happy for him, and that they had been so close to each other that they would continue to all be friends, to all see each other whenever they wanted, that nothing would change. Sadly, Hikaru thought he would have made the same decision, even if it meant losing Sho for good.
"That's what you want, isn't it."
Sho's voice was cold again, too cold, and it sent a shiver down Hikaru's spine. He had never heard the other man sound so distant, so lost, so broken. He barely managed not to splutter in disbelief, features painting genuine shock across his face as he tilted his head to look up at Sho, eyes round with surprise.
"Of course not!"
He tightened his grip, nuzzling his face against Sho's chest and tried to picture Sho's grinning face, his stupid impressions, the high-pitched laughter he had always found so adorable. He smiled in remembrance - it really had been too long since he had heard Sho laugh - and knew that he could never, never leave this behind. And as he felt Sho's lips brush softly over his forehead, knew that by some unspoken agreement, Sho would not be casting him aside, either.
You're everything to me.