統合失調症 ~ Chapter One
Kazuya doesn't understand why he has to transfer. He liked the old place, what was wrong with him being there? He thought the caretakers and workers liked him, they always smiled at him whenever he was near, always gave him an extra pudding or more strawberries. They never treated him like he was a mental patient, they were always so nice.
So why were they giving him the cold shoulder now?
"Kazuya, don't play dumb. You know you hurt Take-san." The sinister voice rang out in his head, pounding in his eardrums to make sure he was aware of its presence.
Oh, he was. He was always aware.
"Please, stop lying. I didn't hurt him, I didn't do anything! You did!" Kazuya cried, talking to the white wall, he couldn't look up anymore. It gave him a headache, which made the voice persist on. Rolling and tumbling around in his head like a ocean tide crashing upon his skull. He felt the pressure smack against his brain and temples, threatening to put Kazuya down again.
Make him lose control.
The voice kept going, insisting that it was Kazuya that hurt his old caretaker. That Kazuya was the one they were throwing out; he was the reason for it all. That it was Kazuya, always Kazuya. Never the voice, no of course not the voice because the voice wasn't there.
It didn't exist to anyone but him.
Kazuya flinched at the sound of the ambulance door being opened, as gently as a giant metal door could be opened. There on the other side stood a tall man, handsome in his body structure. Beautiful in his features, they were all softened. Big eyes and a gently smile adorning the plump lips. Usually Kazuya would be scared, this time he was eager.
===
Jin hadn't seen a picture of his patient in the file, they usually didn't attach them because sometimes the person didn't recognize themselves in the mirror and if they ever got a glimpse at a picture in their file they could have a breakdown.
The boy in the back of the ambulance, with his hands bound at the wrists by a cloth. His feet were stuck together by his shoelaces being tied to each other and a note was sitting on the boy's lap. It read:
Tanoshi Clinic-
We have bound Kamenashi due to a breakdown he was having at the time of transfer. Make sure he is stable by checking his pupils before unbounding him. Thanks.
Jin couldn't believe it; the poor boy was being tied up like a prisoner because of an illness he couldn't help! It was absurd and barbaric and he couldn't stand for it, without checking the boy's eyes, Akanishi approached Kamenashi carefully and began to- as gently as possible- undo the bindings.
While he slowly worked on the knot in the cloth, Jin talked soothingly to the boy. He noticed Kamenashi's eyes, like golden-colored almonds set in his face (which was just as flawless and beautiful). He felt the cold, soft skin on Kamenashi's hand and wondered if it was possible that all of the boy's skin was just as smooth.
"Almost done with the hands, Kamenashi." Jin spoke softly, his voice a caress as gentle as a whisper. He felt Kamenashi nod.
===
Kame had never felt someone un-binding him as gentle as the being in front of him. The way the man's hand glided over the cloth and occasionally touched his skin sending a jolt through him. A jolt he didn't particularly mind.
At the thought Kame felt a blush stain his cheeks pink, just before the voice came back. It taunted him, embarrassed him about his damn blush. As if Kazuya could help it! He had never really been in control of his feelings, often all of his emotions were spelled out on his face. As he found right now, with the man's eyes on his face looking at him curiously.
"Are you alright Kamenashi? I'm not hurting you am I?" He said gently, his voice like a dove floating through the air between them. Kame shook his head and watched as the man began to undo the knots on his shoes.
"A-ano, y-your nam-name?" Kame stuttered, the voice taunting him more, the ocean tides becoming angrier.
"Ah, how rude of me!" The man's face lit up, a look Kame found he liked on the softened features. "My name is Akanishi Jin, I'm going to be your new best friend here." The boy spoke softly and sweetly. Kame knew this was his caretaker but he liked how he phrased it as "best friend" instead.
"I-I'm K-Kamenashi Kazu-ya." Kame stuttered again, finding it difficult for his own voice to come through. With all the ringing and banging going on inside his head he wasn't sure if he had actually said the words or just thought them.
"Nice to meet you Kamenashi Kazuya." Jin smiled as he got the last knot out of Kame's shoes. All the while the voice was calling him an idiot for introducing himself when it was obvious that Akanishi knew his name.
His mother had taught him to always introduce himself politely and that was what he was doing.
===
Ryo sighed heavily again, the cold water running deep over his tanned hands. He was scrubbing Ueda's shirt clean of the applesauce Ueda had spilled on it.
"I'm sorry, Nishikido-san. My hands just got slippery." He heard the patient say nervously from behind him. Here he goes again, back into the 'other' form.
Ueda was never meek and sweet in his usual state.
"It's alright, Ueda. I'm going to get the stain out while you wash your chest. Then we can play a game, alright?" Ryo used a gentle tone he reserved for children and puppies only. Also Ueda. He remembered last time he used his usual tones when the man was in this state, the ex-boxer had broken down in tears.
Beautiful, mysterious tears.
Ryo shook the thought from his head as he finished scrubbing the man's lunch out of his clothes. After hanging the loose piece of cloth on the side of the tub to dry, Ryo stood in the doorway and watched his patient fumble with the cold washcloth he gave him to clean himself up.
"What are you doing?" Ryo asked.
"Trying to figure out how to clean myself." Ueda chirped, sometimes he was too adorable.
Ryo shook his head again before walking over to kneel in front of Ueda and help him.
"Here." Ryo said while taking the rag from the man's hands, he slowly trailed over the bare chest over and over until Ryo was sure there was nothing on the man's chest anymore.
He thought he would get brain damage from shaking his head so much.
===
Jin took the small boy's hands, feeling how cold and smooth they were. He slowly led the patient down the hallway and into his new room.
"Do you like your new bedroom, Kamenashi?" Jin asked softly, he was afraid that if he talked too harshly, the fragile man in front of him would crumble to pieces.
He saw the man nod and went in to explore the room, leaving Jin in the doorway to inspect him further.
Jin noticed that he wasn't too tall nor short. Just kind of average. His legs were unique, being kind of stubby looking, in a cute way of course. Jin noticed everything so far about the boy was cute. His torso had a delicate waist, a beautiful curve making the man resemble a flat chested woman more than anything. Jin tried not to stare at his butt but, well he did.
And Jin suddenly liked the view from where he was standing.
"Akanishi-san?" He heard the patient ask. Jin quickly shook his head from previous thoughts and returned his eyes to boy's face which was as equally beautiful as the rest of him.
"Hai?" Jin heard his voice crack, so he coughed. Just to make it seem like he had a cold or something.
"Can we play a game?"