peanut butter jelly time!
WHEW. what a monday. it was a monday of intrigue, gin, jerry, and intellect.
it began at 9 am, far earlier than my normal hour of awakening. my law and ethics of journalism final was at 12:30, and i had not studied. it went just fine. i had asked to take early, so that i could finish early and make it to a taping of the JERRY SPRINGER show by 5. he said if i get on tv, extra points. if i start a brawl, automatic A. mission: set.
we make it down to springer, yes the springer of midget love squares and incestual monkey lovers. kenji, jess, darin and i all obtained tickets to the real circus. people watching in the line to get in was more than enough for me. little did i know what i was in for.
the first couple involved a love triangle between a woman and her boyfriend and her b/fs cousin. they fought, her wig got torn off, blah blah. then, a huge fat dude comes out and (follow along now) he lives in a house with his wife, his wife's b/f and her fiance. so of course dude is sleeping w/ wife's b/f. so, she comes out, is huge and fat. they like to do it with food, so they strip down and out comes a cart with whipped cream, choc syrup, pies and cupcakes. so much naked fat rubbing food. eeew. then the wife comes out and gets down into HER bra and underwear, and then the women fight, with fists and food. the wife's bra strap snaps and her nasty boobie is hanging out the whole time, and there's chocolate syrup on her underwear so it looks like she doodied.
top three craziest shit i've ever seen. and i've been to japan.
so comments time comes, and jerry calls on me first! I select the skinny, wig-wearing black chick from round 1.
i say: "I'm confused, you say you need money from these guys, but why do you need money to look like a total skank?"
she goes: blah, blah blah (i forgot)
me: "Doesn't change the fact that i could go around the corner and pick you up like some TRANSVESTITE HOOKER!"
the crowd goes wild, skank lady has crossed the stage, looking like she's gonna rip me one.
she: "blah, blah, blah, you need to shed some pounds, get your girlie figure back!"
me: "Psh. Whatever! At least I have hips and i'm not walking around like a MAN!"
she:"What?!?! blah, blah, blah... i take yo man!"
me: "Wanna take my hair too? at least its REAL!"
then i told her she had wasp-bite titties. i didn't fight, cause i was afraid. but i'm super proud of the fact that i held my own on the SPRINGER show!!!
i went out later and my wallet got stolen. it's been a fiasco, culminating in the fact that i'm hosting an open bar party for like 50 tonight in chicago, and due to the fact all of my IDs were stolen, i may not be able to get in!!! gah!
go here: http://www.nozomionline.com/pussy/info.html it is so freakin funny. SO FREAKING FUNNY.
annie from IES Tokyo is here visiting. i'll take pictures...
it began at 9 am, far earlier than my normal hour of awakening. my law and ethics of journalism final was at 12:30, and i had not studied. it went just fine. i had asked to take early, so that i could finish early and make it to a taping of the JERRY SPRINGER show by 5. he said if i get on tv, extra points. if i start a brawl, automatic A. mission: set.
we make it down to springer, yes the springer of midget love squares and incestual monkey lovers. kenji, jess, darin and i all obtained tickets to the real circus. people watching in the line to get in was more than enough for me. little did i know what i was in for.
the first couple involved a love triangle between a woman and her boyfriend and her b/fs cousin. they fought, her wig got torn off, blah blah. then, a huge fat dude comes out and (follow along now) he lives in a house with his wife, his wife's b/f and her fiance. so of course dude is sleeping w/ wife's b/f. so, she comes out, is huge and fat. they like to do it with food, so they strip down and out comes a cart with whipped cream, choc syrup, pies and cupcakes. so much naked fat rubbing food. eeew. then the wife comes out and gets down into HER bra and underwear, and then the women fight, with fists and food. the wife's bra strap snaps and her nasty boobie is hanging out the whole time, and there's chocolate syrup on her underwear so it looks like she doodied.
top three craziest shit i've ever seen. and i've been to japan.
so comments time comes, and jerry calls on me first! I select the skinny, wig-wearing black chick from round 1.
i say: "I'm confused, you say you need money from these guys, but why do you need money to look like a total skank?"
she goes: blah, blah blah (i forgot)
me: "Doesn't change the fact that i could go around the corner and pick you up like some TRANSVESTITE HOOKER!"
the crowd goes wild, skank lady has crossed the stage, looking like she's gonna rip me one.
she: "blah, blah, blah, you need to shed some pounds, get your girlie figure back!"
me: "Psh. Whatever! At least I have hips and i'm not walking around like a MAN!"
she:"What?!?! blah, blah, blah... i take yo man!"
me: "Wanna take my hair too? at least its REAL!"
then i told her she had wasp-bite titties. i didn't fight, cause i was afraid. but i'm super proud of the fact that i held my own on the SPRINGER show!!!
i went out later and my wallet got stolen. it's been a fiasco, culminating in the fact that i'm hosting an open bar party for like 50 tonight in chicago, and due to the fact all of my IDs were stolen, i may not be able to get in!!! gah!
go here: http://www.nozomionline.com/pussy/info.html it is so freakin funny. SO FREAKING FUNNY.
annie from IES Tokyo is here visiting. i'll take pictures...