Tarot Journaling: House and Home
***Note! Like most of my tarot LJs this one is really long, but I write them for myself. I think that they help me to process the information in the cards, but you don't have to read it all. If you don't want to read the tarot part, you can just skip after the cut.***
So who knows, I'll probably skip weeks and weeks again, but I'm going to try and write a sunday morning tarot journal again as a way to do something creative and spiritual on sundays. Perhaps it will make me a more grounded person.
Just an update in terms of my readings lately, I've been doing some more readings for friends lately (although at times I feel as though I'm pushing it on them "oh you read tarot?" "Yes! LET ME READ FOR YOU!") The interesting thing is that as I read more, I feel that I'm disconnecting with one of the parts of the tarot that I like the best co-interpretation. I feel that since I'm becoming more familiar with the cards and more accepting of intuitive knowledge, I am becoming more likely to provide that information before first seeing what the people see in the cards. The flip-side of that of course is that my readings have been getting shorter, no longer requiring the monumental patience to sit with me for 2 hours (Thanks, brdgt). I suppose both types of readings have merit. I just need to make sure that by gaining familiarity and knowledge, I don't dominate the reading and allow others to interpret their own information as well.
On to today's topic! I am considering where to move. Should I stay in my studio? Should I move into cabell's old apartment? Should I move into this other apartment I was shown by her landlord? Should I move in with Katie Zaman since her current roommate is leaving? Should I keep looking and try to find something on state st?
Just to purge some thoughts before I do the reading, here's a quick pro/con of each:
Studio-- Pros: cheap! close to campus Cons: very small and I can't really invite people over because of that
Cabell's apartment-- Pros: good landlord, separate bedroom Cons: it would involve paying 200 more per month for rent, small kitchen
Other apartment-- Pros: good landlord, great big kitchen, lots of light Cons: a bit farther from campus, just as expensive as Cabell's
Katie's roommate--- Pros: Cheaper than even my place right now! free cat sitting to visit Andy more, CSA sharing, not living alone anymore Cons: not living alone anymore =p, talking to Erin she seems to be a good roommate, but she does have a kid (9 yrs old) so yea, that's a whole can of worms, although Erin claims he is extremely well behaved.
State st--- Pros: so close! Cons: will be probably just as expensive if not more than the other two 1 bedrooms.
Anyways, on to Tarot!
The Question: Given these options, what issues are most important for me to consider when finding this apartment?
Spread: Going to do a bit more complicated spread today, a version off of choice spreads...
---------------10----------------- (Advice/Outcome: which direction should I move?)
----------------------------------
--------5--6--7--8--9-------------- (a card for each choice. These are how the previous cards will play out in that particular situation)
-----------------------------------
-----------2---3---4-------------- (Issues I should focus on/pay attention to)
---------------------------------
----------------1----------------- Significator (Me in this situation)
So we have the following cards:
1. Two of Cups
2. Two of Swords
3. Justice
4. Eight of Swords Reversed
5. Seven of Cups
6. Eight of Wands Reversed
7. Nine of Swords
8. Ace of Swords Reversed
9. Six of Pentacles Reversed
10. Seven of Wands
I'm going to look at each of them by group. While it's written here very nicely and linearly, I wrote this jumping around between sections when ideas and parts struck me. For instance, I wrote all of the scope sections first before writing anything else so I wouldn't get caught up in the cards.
First Reactions: Lots of twos (choices), swords (rationality, sorrow), only one major (justice), several reversed, 9 of swords (eek!), 6 of pentacles (giving money away?)
Part 1 -- The Significator
Scope: The significator represents me in this situation. What role do I have to play? What am I bringing to the table? What do I need to see in myself before I ever look at the other cards?
Reading (Two of Cups Reversed): Although this card might more typically indicate a relationship, because it is being used as a significator, it takes on a slightly different meaning. The tarot images subscribe to a rather sexist complementary genders philosophy (men are action! women are spiritual and emotional!). It's one of the reasons that I'm strongly considering moving on to a deck that has more feminist roots (like the Gaian Tarot, Earthmother Tarot, or Tarot of the Crone). These still keep the same meanings of the cards but strip away some of the more sexist imagery.
So why does that matter for this card? Well when the card represents the self, the two people on the card represent two qualities of the self. In tarot, men tend to represent the Magician (Major Arcana 1) and women represent the High Priestess (Major Arcana 2). We'll see this pop up again in the next set of cards with Justice (Major Arcana 11). The Magician is When the card is right-side up, then it shows these two people joining together fluidly. Ones actions and emotions are matching up, fluidly joining to make each other stronger and more cohesive.
However, reversed this card indicates that there is some disconnect between what my actions are and what my emotions indicate on this subject. It tells me that my words and actions might be pushing me towards one particular solution, while my intuition and emotions are telling me to do something different. This is an issue that often comes up for me in tarot. Paying too much attention to the Magician's actions and not enough to the High Priestess's intuitive knowledge. It's telling me that I need to pay close attention to the intuitive impressions that I get from the rest of the cards and make sure that I take steps that are in accordance with that knowledge. It does little good to have knowledge, if I just continue with the same set of actions anyways.
Part 2 -- The Issues
Scope: These are the issues that I should consider in this situation. There's a reason that I chose 3 cards to be in this position. I'm going to also treat these cards as though they were a mini 3 card spread and consider their elemental relationships to one another. That might mean that some of these cards will play a stronger role than others.
Reading (two of swords/Justice/eight of swords reversed): To start, I'm going to look at the elemental dignities in the cards. By looking at the elements and types of cards, we can see which cards might be more or less important. Since all of these cards have the element air, they are all considered to be strengthened by the presence near each other, become more active in my life. However, Justice (Major Arcana 11) should probably be considered even more important than the two surrounding cards because it is the only major arcana in the whole spread and because it's positioned directly over the two of cups.
As I was mentioning above, the two of cups reversed represents the magician and high priestess energies at war. Well Justice's position in the line of majors is to bring together those energies! This means I need to pay special attention to this card. I need to bring the active and intuitive together, allowing the power that the magician draws down to be applied according to knowledge of the high priestess. In order to do that, I need to look at the situation absolutely honestly. I think that the pro/con list that I made above is a good start but I think Justice means more than that. I think that it is telling me that I need to be absolutely honest about whether each of these situations is a real possibility. Is it fiscally and/or emotionally responsible? Am I being honest with myself about all of my options? Am I looking at the situation clearly? Even if it's a result that I might not want?
The two of swords that flanks Justice to the left tells me that I might not be. The two of swords typically indicates a choice but one that I am refusing to make. The woman clutches the swords tensely. She wears a blindfold because her refusal to make a decision has led her to be blinded to any options that might be before her. Moreover, this is causing her a lot of emotional energy in order to maintain this stance. It makes total sense that the next card would be Justice, which involves looking at all of the options objectively.
The eight of swords reversed could not reiterate the previous cards more. Wow, I got a whopping handful of cards telling me to take off my blindfold! This card when upright would mean that I believe that I am locked into a situation. While it's oppressive, it says that I have the ability to get out of it. The reversed indicates that I am exiting that situation. I think that since it is on the right hand side of Justice, it represents me freeing myself from the bindings of others. It says that I need to make this decision based on what I want and need rather than feeling pressured by others to make a particular decision.
Part 3 -- Outcomes and Choices
Scope: Each of these cards represents one of the choices I have. I'm going to consider them to represent the options in the order that I put above: Studio, Cabell's apt, Other Apt, Katie, State St. Basically, considering the issues that I've laid out, what does each choice represent? How will things play out if I make this particular choice?
I am going to take each of these cards quickly since there are 5 of them.
7 of cups: in the studio spot, this card is telling me that I have many desires for how I want to live, but ultimately staying in this apartment, they will remain unfulfilled. They will become just dreams hanging in the clouds.
8 of wands reversed: This would be Cabell's apartment. I have to admit that I don't really understand what this card is saying fully. It didn't cry out to me too much when I did first reactions early on and it still doesn't now. But I think that might itself be a glimmer of initution. The card I think is saying that I am feeling some pressure to make this choice. It traditionally means that something is still up in the air. Like the 8 wands on the card, the situation hasn't landed yet. I think that it means that I feel like I need to leave this option open. Do I? Is it a feasible option for me considering its price?
9 of swords: Ok gut reactions, wow that sucks. This would be the other apartment that Cabell's landlord owns. The first time I saw that place, I just loved it. However, this card is strongly warning me to stay away. It represents extreme depression and loss. The swords on the card don't plunge into her. They hang in the air above her. This says that it might not be some direct form of loss but that it might happen to something around me. I think it means that something is going to happen to that apartment over the next year and that if I went in it that I would be affected. Perhaps the pipes will burst and I'd lose a lot of my stuff? I don't know... but i think that option is off the table.
Ace of swords reversed: yea notice all of the swords? Again, pointing to rationality and looking at the situation logically. Reversed, the ace of swords is telling me to tread lightly. In this situation, there needs to be complete honesty in order to prevent a 'slip' as Pollack calls it. That slip would be the reality between two people going in different directions, aka misunderstanding abound.
6 of Pentacles: finding an apartment on state street? Well this card is saying that I'd be throwing my money away doing that. The card depicts a man holding a case of coins out for someone. Reversed it could mean that I am getting money, but I think in this situation that it makes more sense to use the meaning of reversals that doesn't call for just negating the right-side meaning. I think that instead I should look at other ways that i would be losing or giving away value in my life by getting that apartment. Perhaps I'm not considering all of the costs that would come my way by living on state street.
Part 4 -- Advice/Result
Scope: The question in this section is, given everything that's come before, what direction should I move in? While the card might indicate one particular answer, more likely it will be a bit of advice to consider that favors one particular direction. In particular, I think that it will say something about how the decision will have impact on other areas of my life. Basically, why should I care about which decision I make?
Reading (Seven of Wands): Well after all that, what am I left with? A card that says the thrill of the fight will help me come out on top. In this particular version of the card, the man is plunging the wands into the ground (as opposed to other images where he is using the wand as a weapon on top of a hill). I think that it has two meanings: one that I need a lot of activity in my life in order to feel fulfilled. I need to have things to do and I need to make sure that I make that a top priority in choosing where to live. Will it give me the fire (the wands element) I need? Second, I think that it's saying that I need to go through several options, consider them carefully before moving on to the next one. By doing that I will come to one that I can use.
So as you can see, it doesn't really lead to one particular conclusion, although it did give me a lot to think about. Several options were taken off the table, while a few others I need to consider more closely.
So who knows, I'll probably skip weeks and weeks again, but I'm going to try and write a sunday morning tarot journal again as a way to do something creative and spiritual on sundays. Perhaps it will make me a more grounded person.
Just an update in terms of my readings lately, I've been doing some more readings for friends lately (although at times I feel as though I'm pushing it on them "oh you read tarot?" "Yes! LET ME READ FOR YOU!") The interesting thing is that as I read more, I feel that I'm disconnecting with one of the parts of the tarot that I like the best co-interpretation. I feel that since I'm becoming more familiar with the cards and more accepting of intuitive knowledge, I am becoming more likely to provide that information before first seeing what the people see in the cards. The flip-side of that of course is that my readings have been getting shorter, no longer requiring the monumental patience to sit with me for 2 hours (Thanks, brdgt). I suppose both types of readings have merit. I just need to make sure that by gaining familiarity and knowledge, I don't dominate the reading and allow others to interpret their own information as well.
On to today's topic! I am considering where to move. Should I stay in my studio? Should I move into cabell's old apartment? Should I move into this other apartment I was shown by her landlord? Should I move in with Katie Zaman since her current roommate is leaving? Should I keep looking and try to find something on state st?
Just to purge some thoughts before I do the reading, here's a quick pro/con of each:
Studio-- Pros: cheap! close to campus Cons: very small and I can't really invite people over because of that
Cabell's apartment-- Pros: good landlord, separate bedroom Cons: it would involve paying 200 more per month for rent, small kitchen
Other apartment-- Pros: good landlord, great big kitchen, lots of light Cons: a bit farther from campus, just as expensive as Cabell's
Katie's roommate--- Pros: Cheaper than even my place right now! free cat sitting to visit Andy more, CSA sharing, not living alone anymore Cons: not living alone anymore =p, talking to Erin she seems to be a good roommate, but she does have a kid (9 yrs old) so yea, that's a whole can of worms, although Erin claims he is extremely well behaved.
State st--- Pros: so close! Cons: will be probably just as expensive if not more than the other two 1 bedrooms.
Anyways, on to Tarot!
The Question: Given these options, what issues are most important for me to consider when finding this apartment?
Spread: Going to do a bit more complicated spread today, a version off of choice spreads...
---------------10----------------- (Advice/Outcome: which direction should I move?)
----------------------------------
--------5--6--7--8--9-------------- (a card for each choice. These are how the previous cards will play out in that particular situation)
-----------------------------------
-----------2---3---4-------------- (Issues I should focus on/pay attention to)
---------------------------------
----------------1----------------- Significator (Me in this situation)
So we have the following cards:
1. Two of Cups
2. Two of Swords
3. Justice
4. Eight of Swords Reversed
5. Seven of Cups
6. Eight of Wands Reversed
7. Nine of Swords
8. Ace of Swords Reversed
9. Six of Pentacles Reversed
10. Seven of Wands
I'm going to look at each of them by group. While it's written here very nicely and linearly, I wrote this jumping around between sections when ideas and parts struck me. For instance, I wrote all of the scope sections first before writing anything else so I wouldn't get caught up in the cards.
First Reactions: Lots of twos (choices), swords (rationality, sorrow), only one major (justice), several reversed, 9 of swords (eek!), 6 of pentacles (giving money away?)
Part 1 -- The Significator
Scope: The significator represents me in this situation. What role do I have to play? What am I bringing to the table? What do I need to see in myself before I ever look at the other cards?
Reading (Two of Cups Reversed): Although this card might more typically indicate a relationship, because it is being used as a significator, it takes on a slightly different meaning. The tarot images subscribe to a rather sexist complementary genders philosophy (men are action! women are spiritual and emotional!). It's one of the reasons that I'm strongly considering moving on to a deck that has more feminist roots (like the Gaian Tarot, Earthmother Tarot, or Tarot of the Crone). These still keep the same meanings of the cards but strip away some of the more sexist imagery.
So why does that matter for this card? Well when the card represents the self, the two people on the card represent two qualities of the self. In tarot, men tend to represent the Magician (Major Arcana 1) and women represent the High Priestess (Major Arcana 2). We'll see this pop up again in the next set of cards with Justice (Major Arcana 11). The Magician is When the card is right-side up, then it shows these two people joining together fluidly. Ones actions and emotions are matching up, fluidly joining to make each other stronger and more cohesive.
However, reversed this card indicates that there is some disconnect between what my actions are and what my emotions indicate on this subject. It tells me that my words and actions might be pushing me towards one particular solution, while my intuition and emotions are telling me to do something different. This is an issue that often comes up for me in tarot. Paying too much attention to the Magician's actions and not enough to the High Priestess's intuitive knowledge. It's telling me that I need to pay close attention to the intuitive impressions that I get from the rest of the cards and make sure that I take steps that are in accordance with that knowledge. It does little good to have knowledge, if I just continue with the same set of actions anyways.
Part 2 -- The Issues
Scope: These are the issues that I should consider in this situation. There's a reason that I chose 3 cards to be in this position. I'm going to also treat these cards as though they were a mini 3 card spread and consider their elemental relationships to one another. That might mean that some of these cards will play a stronger role than others.
Reading (two of swords/Justice/eight of swords reversed): To start, I'm going to look at the elemental dignities in the cards. By looking at the elements and types of cards, we can see which cards might be more or less important. Since all of these cards have the element air, they are all considered to be strengthened by the presence near each other, become more active in my life. However, Justice (Major Arcana 11) should probably be considered even more important than the two surrounding cards because it is the only major arcana in the whole spread and because it's positioned directly over the two of cups.
As I was mentioning above, the two of cups reversed represents the magician and high priestess energies at war. Well Justice's position in the line of majors is to bring together those energies! This means I need to pay special attention to this card. I need to bring the active and intuitive together, allowing the power that the magician draws down to be applied according to knowledge of the high priestess. In order to do that, I need to look at the situation absolutely honestly. I think that the pro/con list that I made above is a good start but I think Justice means more than that. I think that it is telling me that I need to be absolutely honest about whether each of these situations is a real possibility. Is it fiscally and/or emotionally responsible? Am I being honest with myself about all of my options? Am I looking at the situation clearly? Even if it's a result that I might not want?
The two of swords that flanks Justice to the left tells me that I might not be. The two of swords typically indicates a choice but one that I am refusing to make. The woman clutches the swords tensely. She wears a blindfold because her refusal to make a decision has led her to be blinded to any options that might be before her. Moreover, this is causing her a lot of emotional energy in order to maintain this stance. It makes total sense that the next card would be Justice, which involves looking at all of the options objectively.
The eight of swords reversed could not reiterate the previous cards more. Wow, I got a whopping handful of cards telling me to take off my blindfold! This card when upright would mean that I believe that I am locked into a situation. While it's oppressive, it says that I have the ability to get out of it. The reversed indicates that I am exiting that situation. I think that since it is on the right hand side of Justice, it represents me freeing myself from the bindings of others. It says that I need to make this decision based on what I want and need rather than feeling pressured by others to make a particular decision.
Part 3 -- Outcomes and Choices
Scope: Each of these cards represents one of the choices I have. I'm going to consider them to represent the options in the order that I put above: Studio, Cabell's apt, Other Apt, Katie, State St. Basically, considering the issues that I've laid out, what does each choice represent? How will things play out if I make this particular choice?
I am going to take each of these cards quickly since there are 5 of them.
7 of cups: in the studio spot, this card is telling me that I have many desires for how I want to live, but ultimately staying in this apartment, they will remain unfulfilled. They will become just dreams hanging in the clouds.
8 of wands reversed: This would be Cabell's apartment. I have to admit that I don't really understand what this card is saying fully. It didn't cry out to me too much when I did first reactions early on and it still doesn't now. But I think that might itself be a glimmer of initution. The card I think is saying that I am feeling some pressure to make this choice. It traditionally means that something is still up in the air. Like the 8 wands on the card, the situation hasn't landed yet. I think that it means that I feel like I need to leave this option open. Do I? Is it a feasible option for me considering its price?
9 of swords: Ok gut reactions, wow that sucks. This would be the other apartment that Cabell's landlord owns. The first time I saw that place, I just loved it. However, this card is strongly warning me to stay away. It represents extreme depression and loss. The swords on the card don't plunge into her. They hang in the air above her. This says that it might not be some direct form of loss but that it might happen to something around me. I think it means that something is going to happen to that apartment over the next year and that if I went in it that I would be affected. Perhaps the pipes will burst and I'd lose a lot of my stuff? I don't know... but i think that option is off the table.
Ace of swords reversed: yea notice all of the swords? Again, pointing to rationality and looking at the situation logically. Reversed, the ace of swords is telling me to tread lightly. In this situation, there needs to be complete honesty in order to prevent a 'slip' as Pollack calls it. That slip would be the reality between two people going in different directions, aka misunderstanding abound.
6 of Pentacles: finding an apartment on state street? Well this card is saying that I'd be throwing my money away doing that. The card depicts a man holding a case of coins out for someone. Reversed it could mean that I am getting money, but I think in this situation that it makes more sense to use the meaning of reversals that doesn't call for just negating the right-side meaning. I think that instead I should look at other ways that i would be losing or giving away value in my life by getting that apartment. Perhaps I'm not considering all of the costs that would come my way by living on state street.
Part 4 -- Advice/Result
Scope: The question in this section is, given everything that's come before, what direction should I move in? While the card might indicate one particular answer, more likely it will be a bit of advice to consider that favors one particular direction. In particular, I think that it will say something about how the decision will have impact on other areas of my life. Basically, why should I care about which decision I make?
Reading (Seven of Wands): Well after all that, what am I left with? A card that says the thrill of the fight will help me come out on top. In this particular version of the card, the man is plunging the wands into the ground (as opposed to other images where he is using the wand as a weapon on top of a hill). I think that it has two meanings: one that I need a lot of activity in my life in order to feel fulfilled. I need to have things to do and I need to make sure that I make that a top priority in choosing where to live. Will it give me the fire (the wands element) I need? Second, I think that it's saying that I need to go through several options, consider them carefully before moving on to the next one. By doing that I will come to one that I can use.
So as you can see, it doesn't really lead to one particular conclusion, although it did give me a lot to think about. Several options were taken off the table, while a few others I need to consider more closely.