Staring A Clue In The Face, And Not Recognizing It
OPEN: JANUS FILE #0310
I think I have mentioned this on various occasions, but I have a high IQ, a near-eidetic memory, and I'm something of a speed reader. I have even developed the ability to construct a recipe in my head, and tinker with it to near-perfection before I ever set foot in the kitchen. To borrow a line from Dr. Spencer Reid, you could probably call me some sort of a genius.
On the other hand, there are counter-balancing factors. For one thing, I am more than a little clueless when it comes to women. For instance, there was the time in college when a friend tried to seduce me. Not only did I not realize what she was trying to do (and incidentally, thwarted her attempt at seduction), but I only learned what her real intentions were when my best friend at the time told me -- some six months later. (That's another story, though, for another time.) And let's not even talk about the ex.
So in all probablility, I was in all likelihood simultaneously surprised and not surprised when I heard these words a few weeks ago:
"Man, she was totally flirting with you."
This pronouncement came from one of my co-workers (let's call him "G"), immediately after a customer had left the store. The only thing I could say in reply was, "She was?"
"Dude, she was hitting on you."
I had thought this was merely a case of mistaken identity. She had been in about a week earlier, and at the time, she had asked me if she had seen me around somewhere. I occasionally get that from some of my customers. Usually, they will remember seeing me at the library, or on my bike somewhere (and someone riding a bike on Shelbyville Road probably does stick in your mind). But this particular customer had thought she had seen me in a couple of different bars. I'm not much of a bar-goer, so as I said, I thought it was a case of mistaken identity.
On this second visit, she brought up the subject again, saying that she was certain that she had seen me somewhere. She said that she was certain that she had seen me at a rally for Dennis Kucinich. That’s when I had to say, "Sorry to disappoint you, but . . . " For one thing, I haven't attended any political rallies of any kind. For another, I'm a Republican, so it's not likely that she would have seen me at an event supporting Kucinich.
As you have probably have guessed, G seemed to think that I had mishandled the situation. As I remember, one of the things he said was, "The next time a girl asks you if she saw you at a Dennis Kucinich rally, you say YES!" (Didn't Bill Murray say something along those lines in Ghostbusters?)
There is just one little problem with that bit of advice. Even if there is a chance that someone is going to use a pickup line like that on me again, I'll still probably be too clueless to recognize it until sometime after the fact.
CLOSE: JANUS FILE #0310
I think I have mentioned this on various occasions, but I have a high IQ, a near-eidetic memory, and I'm something of a speed reader. I have even developed the ability to construct a recipe in my head, and tinker with it to near-perfection before I ever set foot in the kitchen. To borrow a line from Dr. Spencer Reid, you could probably call me some sort of a genius.
On the other hand, there are counter-balancing factors. For one thing, I am more than a little clueless when it comes to women. For instance, there was the time in college when a friend tried to seduce me. Not only did I not realize what she was trying to do (and incidentally, thwarted her attempt at seduction), but I only learned what her real intentions were when my best friend at the time told me -- some six months later. (That's another story, though, for another time.) And let's not even talk about the ex.
So in all probablility, I was in all likelihood simultaneously surprised and not surprised when I heard these words a few weeks ago:
"Man, she was totally flirting with you."
This pronouncement came from one of my co-workers (let's call him "G"), immediately after a customer had left the store. The only thing I could say in reply was, "She was?"
"Dude, she was hitting on you."
I had thought this was merely a case of mistaken identity. She had been in about a week earlier, and at the time, she had asked me if she had seen me around somewhere. I occasionally get that from some of my customers. Usually, they will remember seeing me at the library, or on my bike somewhere (and someone riding a bike on Shelbyville Road probably does stick in your mind). But this particular customer had thought she had seen me in a couple of different bars. I'm not much of a bar-goer, so as I said, I thought it was a case of mistaken identity.
On this second visit, she brought up the subject again, saying that she was certain that she had seen me somewhere. She said that she was certain that she had seen me at a rally for Dennis Kucinich. That’s when I had to say, "Sorry to disappoint you, but . . . " For one thing, I haven't attended any political rallies of any kind. For another, I'm a Republican, so it's not likely that she would have seen me at an event supporting Kucinich.
As you have probably have guessed, G seemed to think that I had mishandled the situation. As I remember, one of the things he said was, "The next time a girl asks you if she saw you at a Dennis Kucinich rally, you say YES!" (Didn't Bill Murray say something along those lines in Ghostbusters?)
There is just one little problem with that bit of advice. Even if there is a chance that someone is going to use a pickup line like that on me again, I'll still probably be too clueless to recognize it until sometime after the fact.
CLOSE: JANUS FILE #0310