Beyond The Pale
OPEN: JANUS FILE #0212
My recent entry about renewing my driver's license brought back some old memories. Memories of when I first got my license, many, many years ago.
This particular set of memories concerns one of my teachers in high school. I'll call him Coach Brady (because that happens to be his name). As you probably have already deduced, he was one of the school's coaches. Football and basketball, if I'm remembering correctly. He also taught Driver's Ed, and the senior American Government class.
Now, Coach Brady was your typical Nordic blond -- very pale blond hair, very pale blue eyes, very pale complexion. He was into protecting himself from the sun long before most of us had even heard the term SPF. As I remember him telling one of his classes, he had severely sunburned himself more than a few times during his younger years, and he was now at risk for skin cancer. (Okay, I'm probably going into more detail than necessary, but trust me, you will need to remember this a few paragraphs from now.)
Now, getting back to the main story. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I have a combination license -- both car and motorcycle. During my senior year in high school, I took the test for the motorcycle part of my license. I had a much easier time passing my motorcycle test -- both the written and the road test. I passed both on my first try.
Now, where I lived at the time, the driver's tests were given on Wednesdays. The school's policy was that you could get out to take your driving tests, provided that you brought a note from your parents the day before. The following day, you would pick up an absence slip at the office, and give it to the teacher of whatever class(es) you missed. It was considered an excused absence.
Now, I already had my driver's license. It had taken multiple attempts, but I finally passed the road test. I had not made a big deal about getting my license, because it happened during the summer, and I really didn't have that many close friends who I would have felt it necessary to inform. But also over the summer between my junior and senior years, my dad and I both passed the written part of the motorcycle test.
Dad and I waited at least the requisite month (maybe a little longer), then made an appointment to take the necessary road test. (While the state police were ready to administer the car road test at any time, you had to let them know in advance if you needed to take the motorcycle test.) And the day before the test, I brought a note to the office, and received the necessary permission to be absent the next day.
Now, I had American Government during second period, and as it happened, that is when the appointment for my motorcycle test was scheduled. After first period, Dad picked me up, and we went to the testing site. We took the test, both passed quite easily, and after getting our new licenses, Dad took me back to school. By the time I got back, I think it was in the middle of third period, so I went to that class. Study hall, although I was a library aide during that period.
The next day, second period rolled around, and just as class was starting, I handed Coach Brady my absence slip. I'm not sure if he already knew, but it said on the slip that I had been absent because I was taking the test for my driver's license. He asked, "Well, Janus, did you get your driver's license?"
I seem to remember having prepared myself for this question. Somehow, I managed to project a look of utter innocence on my face. And in a voice that must have come out much calmer than I was feeling, I said, "Oh, didn't I tell you, Coach? I wasn't going for my driver's license; I was going for my motorcycle license. And I passed."
I know I said it loud enough where my classmates had to have heard my reply. I couldn’t tell you what their reactions were, though. I was too busy paying attention to Coach Brady.
Remember that I said that Coach Brady was your typical Nordic blond? I swear to Ghu that he had to have turned even paler than he normally looked. At least three shades paler. I think all the blood drained out of his face.
If he had turned any paler, he would have become an albino.
If he had been chewing gum at the time, he probably would have swallowed it.
For a few milliseconds, I thought I might have triggered a heart attack.
I have the feeling that with that one offhand comment, I managed to scare him more than anyone did in his entire teaching career.
CLOSE: JANUS FILE #0212
My recent entry about renewing my driver's license brought back some old memories. Memories of when I first got my license, many, many years ago.
This particular set of memories concerns one of my teachers in high school. I'll call him Coach Brady (because that happens to be his name). As you probably have already deduced, he was one of the school's coaches. Football and basketball, if I'm remembering correctly. He also taught Driver's Ed, and the senior American Government class.
Now, Coach Brady was your typical Nordic blond -- very pale blond hair, very pale blue eyes, very pale complexion. He was into protecting himself from the sun long before most of us had even heard the term SPF. As I remember him telling one of his classes, he had severely sunburned himself more than a few times during his younger years, and he was now at risk for skin cancer. (Okay, I'm probably going into more detail than necessary, but trust me, you will need to remember this a few paragraphs from now.)
Now, getting back to the main story. As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I have a combination license -- both car and motorcycle. During my senior year in high school, I took the test for the motorcycle part of my license. I had a much easier time passing my motorcycle test -- both the written and the road test. I passed both on my first try.
Now, where I lived at the time, the driver's tests were given on Wednesdays. The school's policy was that you could get out to take your driving tests, provided that you brought a note from your parents the day before. The following day, you would pick up an absence slip at the office, and give it to the teacher of whatever class(es) you missed. It was considered an excused absence.
Now, I already had my driver's license. It had taken multiple attempts, but I finally passed the road test. I had not made a big deal about getting my license, because it happened during the summer, and I really didn't have that many close friends who I would have felt it necessary to inform. But also over the summer between my junior and senior years, my dad and I both passed the written part of the motorcycle test.
Dad and I waited at least the requisite month (maybe a little longer), then made an appointment to take the necessary road test. (While the state police were ready to administer the car road test at any time, you had to let them know in advance if you needed to take the motorcycle test.) And the day before the test, I brought a note to the office, and received the necessary permission to be absent the next day.
Now, I had American Government during second period, and as it happened, that is when the appointment for my motorcycle test was scheduled. After first period, Dad picked me up, and we went to the testing site. We took the test, both passed quite easily, and after getting our new licenses, Dad took me back to school. By the time I got back, I think it was in the middle of third period, so I went to that class. Study hall, although I was a library aide during that period.
The next day, second period rolled around, and just as class was starting, I handed Coach Brady my absence slip. I'm not sure if he already knew, but it said on the slip that I had been absent because I was taking the test for my driver's license. He asked, "Well, Janus, did you get your driver's license?"
I seem to remember having prepared myself for this question. Somehow, I managed to project a look of utter innocence on my face. And in a voice that must have come out much calmer than I was feeling, I said, "Oh, didn't I tell you, Coach? I wasn't going for my driver's license; I was going for my motorcycle license. And I passed."
I know I said it loud enough where my classmates had to have heard my reply. I couldn’t tell you what their reactions were, though. I was too busy paying attention to Coach Brady.
Remember that I said that Coach Brady was your typical Nordic blond? I swear to Ghu that he had to have turned even paler than he normally looked. At least three shades paler. I think all the blood drained out of his face.
If he had turned any paler, he would have become an albino.
If he had been chewing gum at the time, he probably would have swallowed it.
For a few milliseconds, I thought I might have triggered a heart attack.
I have the feeling that with that one offhand comment, I managed to scare him more than anyone did in his entire teaching career.
CLOSE: JANUS FILE #0212