good things always come in threes ; part ii
One of Baekhyun's favorite things to do around Christmas is window shopping. The gifts he usually buys (only for Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Jongdae, his little brother Taehyung and his grandparents) are cheap, and not worthy of being displayed in those beautiful storefronts, but that doesn't stop him from marvelling at all the lights and decorations. Chanyeol always comes with him, the lower part of his face hidden by a thick knit scarf, but the sparks in his eyes more than enough to understand how much he likes it. Jongdae also likes the lights of December, but not the ones that illuminate tags with expensive prices on it, because those ones actually darken his eyes, and he always find a good excuse to not come. They have to meet him later though, along with Sehun that will tell them everything about his date with Kim Jongin, but the fear and the bitterness are easily drowning in Christmas carols and smells of street sweets. Chanyeol's hand is warm in his, and the constant looks he throws at him to make sure Baekhyun follows him definitely beat the icy bites of the wind. Not to mention that Taehyung is also there, and, even if Baekhyun wouldn't admit it out loud, he really missed his brother. Taehyung is currently in his last year of high school, meaning that it'll probably be harder for them to meet next year with both of them attending university and working to be able to pay for it. So, to sum it all up, Baekhyun has better things to do than worrying and it's not like it will stop Jondgae and Sehun's machinations anyway. They're all doomed, so might as well enjoy living while it lasts.
“Grandma also wants me to trick you into weighing yourself in front of me because she's worried you might not be eating enough,” Taehyung says, not even looking at them but at the little deer robots in the storefront. He's been blabbering non-stop since they met at the coffee shop earlier this monring, telling them both about his life in detail, and everytime Baekhyun feels Chanyeol about to laugh, he pinches the palm of his hand. “But I told her you couldn't be starving because Kyungsoo hyung is watching over you three idiots,” Baekhyun pinches Chanyeol's palm when the latter opens his mouth to protest. “But you know her, right? Anyway, might as well wear the tightest pants you have when you'll come visit for Christmas, to show her how plump your thighs are.”
Chanyeol snickers before Baekhyun can stop him, and Taehyung turns his head towards them, as if remembering only now that they were still behind him. He smiles when he sees the amusement in Chanyeol's eyes, proud that he made him laugh, and Baekhyun expects a billion more jokes on his thighs now that Taehyung has seen that it earned him an audience.
“I really want you to weigh yourself now, hyung, because I'm actually curious. How much do those thighs weigh?” Taehyung beams at Chanyeol. “Wanna bet?”
“I know exactly how much he weighs,” Chanyeol retorts with a proud smile. “Wouldn't be fair for you.”
Taehyun rolls his eyes and resumes walking, but his voice reaches them just the same, with that fake annoyance heavying on each syllabe, but the shadow of the smile he's obviously trying to hide hovering his intonations.
“Still as lovey-dovey as usual, I see. Gross.”
Baekhyun and Chanyeol exchange a proud glance before trailing after Taehyung, now admiring a pine tree forest in a storefront. It was just joking, but Baekhyun knows that his grandma is probably really worrying about him, and he makes a mental note to call her to ease her. His grandparents have been raising him and Taehyung since their parents died in a car accident, just a couple of months after his brother's birth, and they're now really old and tired from the years far long gone. Baekhyun doesn't want to add any more stress on them, he'd never forgive himself. Honestly, he doesn't remember his parents, not like Jongdae who lost his mother when he was eleven years old, but even if he does miss them, his grandparents are his family, and it's his job to take care of them and make sure they're okay.
Taehyung checks his watch and smiles to himself in a way that has Baekhyun wondering if he should worry.
“I have to go,” Taehyung announces. “I have to meet Namjoon and Hoseok, I'm already late.” He hugs Chanyeol and then turns to Baekhyun, his eyes disappearing behind the wrinkles of his smile. “Don't forget that we eat together tonight, hyung.”
Baekhyun snorts. “As if I could. Such a chore.”
Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him, and Baekhyun is caught in the need to wrap him in the tightest hug and pat him and hide him from the world, hoping that it will keep him from growing up. They fight a lot because they have really similar personalities, and Taehyung can really be so fucking annoying sometimes, but he's still his baby brother and the only thing that's left of the home Baekhyun was born in. He will probably beat his grandma at the worrying game next year, when Taehyung will start his first year of university, and Jongdae and Chanyeol will have to endure the sudden rush of his maternal instincts.
Taehyung waves at them before turning on his heels and walking away to meet two of his best friends, both currently in their first year of university. Baekhyun thinks about the smile on Taehyung's face, and it makes him want to laugh, laugh so hard that he'll end up lying on the floor. He can't stop smiling as he watches his brother's silhouette fading away in the dozen of people darkening the streets, butterflies set alight in his stomach, and the certitude that no matter what road Taehyung chooses, he'll be strong enough to assume it running through his veins.
Baekhyun sighs and finally turns toward Chanyeol, but the latter still has his eyes lost on the crowd. He's thinking about Yura, Baekhyun realizes, Chanyeol's older sister. He doesn't get to see her a lot, even less than Baekhyun sees Taehyung, but for very different reasons. Chanyeol's parents threw him out when Chanyeol was only seventeen, after he came out to them, and Yura, three years older than Chanyeol, works in the family business. She tries really hard, but most of the time, it's near impossible for her to come and visit.
Chanyeol looks lost in his thoughts, like most of the time, but Baekhyun can't risk having him falling into the ones that hurt, so he opens his mouth to snap him out of his reverie, but Chanyeol suddenly looks down.
“Namjoon and Hoseok?” he smiles. “Your brother looks so much like you, Baekhyunnie.”
Baekhyun snorts. “He's worst. He also has Jimin and Jungkook.”
Chanyeol chuckles, the sound muffled by his scarf, but evident on his face.
“Come on,” Baekhyun smiles at him. “Jongdae and Sehun are probably already waiting for us.”
Chanyeol nods and links their fingers before shoving both of their hands in his pocket. They have to go back to the coffee shop and they walk mostly in silence. The air turns somewhat thick between them, and Baekhyun catches Chanyeol looking at him several times. He knows what the taller male wants to say, but a part of him urges him to ignore it. His own doubts and maybe even regrets are too strong for him to be able to still ignore them, but he still can take comfort in the idea that he's the only one feeling them. If Chanyeol voices out loud what Baekhyun's been thinking of this whole thing for the past few days, then he'll have no other choice than facing the fact that they totally and inevitably fucked up.
The words still form on his tongue and when they finally get too heavy for him, Baekhyun blurts them out. “Are you sure we're doing the right thing here..?”
Chanyeol glances at him, and Baekhyun expects one of his long monologues that sound like demonstrations, but Chanyeol keeps quiet. He seems to think for a while, but when his eyes finally settle on Baekhyun again, the only thing he ends up doing is flashing him a faint smile.
“No, I'm not sure at all.”
And nothing more. Baekhyun frowns, but Chanyeol squeezes his hand and the conversation ends just like that. His mind wanders, and he thinks about Yura, about Taehyung. He thinks about Jongdae's dad who never really recovered from his wife's death and who would sometimes forget he has a son, about Chanyeol's parents that did everything they could to forget they had one, and about his own parents who are only hazy memories in his mind. He thinks about everything they went through, and he knows Chanyeol does too because it was written in his smile, and now Baekhyun understands it. No matter what they're feeling right now, it can't be worse than living without Kyungsoo.
They find Sehun and Jongdae seated in the back of the coffee shop. Jongdae hands them both a hot drink, vanilla latte for Chanyeol and caramel mocha for Baekhyun, and Baekhyun wraps his fingers around his cup. Jongdae must have ordered them only a couple of minutes ago because they're still hot, and the warmth is quick enough to replace the numbness in his hands. He eyes Sehun's bubble tea, almost feeling the cold radiating from it.
“What?” Sehun asks, looking like he doesn't care at all. Which is probably true.
“Yeah, what, Baek,” Jongdae adds with a smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Let the kid alone, he's still a baby.”
Sehun rolls his eyes. “Do you want me to tell you what happened yesterday or should I just go back home?”
Jongdae fakes a low bow. “Please, do tell us, your Majesty.”
Sehun smiles, a spark of pleasure in his eyes, and takes a long sip from his bubble tea, looking happier at every groan that Jongdae lets out.
“Brat,” Chanyeol mumbles.
Sehun chuckles, but stops drinking when Jongdae kicks him in the shin. Baekhyun has trouble trying not to choke the younger while he moans in pain because of how eager he is to find out what happened. No matter how Kyungsoo's obvious happiness has affected him lately, he still wants Kim Jongin out of the equation. When he'll be gone, Baekhyun will do everything in its power to make sure Kyungsoo doesn't feel miserable because of them anymore. But Kim Jongin has to disappear before.
“Okay, okay!” Sehun yelps when Jongdae threatens to hit him again, and he glares at him as he straightens up. “So, as you all know, yesterday I went out on a date with Jongin--”
“No shit,” Jongdae sighs.
If Sehun heard him, he chose to ignore him. “We decided to go to the cinema and then eat together. It didn't happen like I thought it would, honestly. The movie was cool, but I kept leaning on him and he didn't do anything, but the worst was probably at the restaurant. We were talking, and he suddenly turn into a fucking teen girl and says he has a confession to make.”
Baekhyun gasps. “Oh no, did he confess to you? Oh no, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with you!” He grabs Jongdae's arm and shakes him. “Jongdae, what do we do? We don't want to break his heart, we just want him to forget our Kyungsoo!”
Jongdae snorts. “Don't be such a drama queen, Baek. I'm sure he didn't confess, nobody can love Sehun.”
“Except Junmyeon hyung,” Chanyeol cackles.
Sehun sighs while Jongdae grins at him. “Thank you, hyung, I appreciate it, really.” Jongdae chuckles, and ruffles his hair. Watching Sehun trying to look annoyed while smiling in spite of himself is the funniest thing ever, but Baekhyun has to swallow down his jokes. He wants the end of Sehun's story first.
“But no,” Sehun looks at Baekhyun. “He didn't confess to me.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Chanyeol enquires with a frown on his face.
“Well, he did confess. But it wasn't for me. He told me that there was this guy he liked a lot, and that he wanted to confess to him but he was kind of scared because 'what if I'm not good enough for him?'” Sehun's voice turns mocking and weirdly high-pitched, and Baekhyun doubts the quality of the impersonation. Even blushing and sputtering, he's pretty sure that Kim Jongin remains manlier than Sehun.
“I swear to God, it was the worst night of my life, and yes, it was even worse than the night I got drunk at Zitao's birthday party and threw up on Junmyeon's fancy shoes. He kept talking about how perfect that guy was, how good he smelled, how nice he was, how cute his smile was, how funny he could be, how great his laugh was--” Sehun makes a vague gesture with his hand while rolling his eyes so hard in their sockets that Baekhyun is convinced he caught a glimpse of his own brain. “Etc, etc etc. I wish I could have thrown up actually, it would have given me a good excuse to leave.”
Baekhyun, Jongdae and Chanyeol remain silent. Sehun hesitates for a second, the natural frown on his face breaking into a worried, almost sorry, look.
“I'm pretty sure he's in love, guys .”
Chanyeol's eyebrows have been furrowed since they left the coffee shop, not to mention that he looks totally lost and confused, and almost tiny on the couch he's now sitting on. Baekhyun wishes he could say something, even kiss it all away, but he feels as powerless as Chanyeol. Jongdae is pacing up and down in front of them, his lips' natural curl this time not enough to ease the concern on his face. They're back in the apartment, and Sehun's words still ring in the air between them. Baekhyun knows they're overreacting -again-, that it doesn't mean anything, but he also knows that the fear got way stronger than them. With Sehun, they decided to confront Kyungsoo with Jongin, and to ask him why he hid the whole thing from them. Back in the coffee shop, after endless minutes of silence, Jongdae finally spoke and said that it was the worst. Even worse than Kyungsoo turning Kim Jongin into a twelve year-old girl, and worse than Kyungsoo looking happier than he's ever been with them. Baekhyun can't help but agree. The only secrets between them are the ones about gifts they buy for each other, but somewhere along the way, Kyungsoo apparently decided to change the rules.
Someone knocks on the door, and Jongdae stops with a start. He turns to face them, and Chanyeol checks his watch.
“Kyungsoo's shift ends in one hour and a half,” he says, his brows furrowing even more.
Blood drains from Jongdae's face and he gestures them to follow him as he walks to the front door. He peeks through the peephole while Baekhyun and Chanyeol stop behind him, and urges them to be silent when he straightens. Jongdae slowly steps aside, and gestures Baekhyun to take a look, which he does. The person on the other side of the door knocks again, and Baekhyun's eyes land on chocolate hair and hopeful eyes. He groans and turns to face Chanyeol. Kim Jongin, he mouths. Chanyeol's brows shot up in surprise.
“Hyung, are you there?” Kim Jongin asks as he knocks again.
“What does he think,” Jongdae groans in a whisper-like voice. “That calling Kyungsoo will make him pop up just like that?”
Chanyeol shushes him and Jongdae sighs. He takes one of Chanyeol's hands and snuggles his head into Chanyeol's shoulder, the latter wrapping him in a tight embrace. Baekhyun flashes him a faint smile before turning to peek through the peephole again. Kim Jongin seems to be hesitating, and only then Baekhyun notices the envelope in his hands. The intruder looks down the corridor several times before deflating. He leans down, and Baekhyun doesn't even have the time to wonder why that the envelope slips under the door. Jongdae pulls away from the hug and look at it, confused. Baekhyun gestures him to wait as he checks through the peephole, making sure that Kim Jongin is definitely gone, and when even the faint sound of his footstep has disappeared, he picks up the envelope.
He spots the Do Kyungsoo written in italics on the front of the envelope, the handwriting nice and neat, and hesitates.
“You should open it,” Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun looks up to Jongdae nodding still between Chanyeol's arms but with his back against the taller male's chest now.
Baekhyun feels like his heart is going to explode and he pretends that his fingers aren't shaking as he opens the envelope and pulls four tickets out of it.
“What the hell?” he blurts out, confused.
Chanyeol reaches over.
“They're tickets for a dance show. Probably his dance show.” He shows them to Jongdae, who grunts in disgust.
“Is that guy even serious? He's dating my best friend!”
“Yeah, but why are there four tickets?” Baekhyun asks. “Did he just invite us?”
Nobody answers, but they all look at the tickets still in Chanyeol's hands as if they were time bombs. They're kind of nice, all black with great light effects, and the writing is of a dark blue that glitters when you move the ticket under the light, but Baekhyun doesn't like them. He knows that they're Jongin's move, that if they all attend that show, Jongin will finally confess and Kyungsoo will realize how happier he could be if he didn't have three guys to take care of.
“The show's tomorrow night,” Chanyeol says after a while, and they all stare at each other.
“We can't let Kyungsoo go,” Jongdae finally speaks up.
“Well then,” Chanyeol sucks in a deep breath of air, and then tears the tickets.
Jongdae startles and Baekhyun gasps. Chanyeol looks up at them with wide eyes as if only realising now what he's just done.
“Oh god, you need to help me hide the evidence, I don't want Kyungsoo to murder me!” he exclaims with a hint of hysteria.
The sudden burst of Chanyeol's loud voice and the horrified look on his face as he looks down at the tickets in his palms unlock something inside Baekhyun, and before he can remember that they're facing the possibility of losing Kyungsoo, he feels himself shaking with hysterical laughter. Jongdae is quick to follow, his own roars of laughter louder than Baekhyun's, and Chanyeol stares at them with his mouth agape, like he's just been betrayed by his two most loyal brothers in arms. He shoves the tickets in Jongdae's mouth, and it's Jongdae's turn to look betrayed while Chanyeol hides his chuckles behind his hand.
Kyungsoo comes back home to his three favorite idiots fighting over Cluedo, and in a hurry to join the game, he doesn't notice the burnt papers in the garbage can when he gets rid of the random flyers he just took from their mailbox.
Baekhyun wakes up to red numbers glowing in front of his face, too hazy for him to be able to read them, but he doesn't need to decipher them to know that it's way too early for him to be awake. Chanyeol is snoring next to him, and the whole apartment is quiet, but it doesn't take him long to understand why he woke up. He curses Chanyeol's idea to serve them cocktails in his chemistry flasks, and totally ignores the fact that he was the one who said they should try lots of recipes as he straightens and gets out of bed. Biting cold craches into him and makes him shiver, but Baekhyun doesn't dwell on the sensation. He wraps his own arms around him and quietly exits the room, his bladder screaming at him to hurry.
When he reaches the end of the corridor, he hears whispers dancing with the silence of the night, and after a quick check of his watch - four a.m, never again- Baekhyun concludes that Kyungsoo just came back home from his night shift. He pricks up his ear, and it doesn't take him too long to make out Jongdae's voice answering to Kyungsoo's. Curiosity is now heavier than the call of his bed and he pushes aside the urge to go back and snuggle up to Chanyeol as he tiptoes to the end of the corridor.
Kyungsoo is seated at the kitchen table, and even with only one light on and Baekhyun's quick peeks, his eyebags still stand out, black on awfully pale skin. Jongdae moves around him, and only after the fourth glance does Baekhyun notice that Jongdae served Kyungsoo some food and is now currently pouring hot tea in a cup. Kyungsoo grabs it and smiles at Jongdae to thank him, and for a short second, as his lips break into that weird uspide down smile of his, exhaustion runs away from Kyungsoo's face and there are only wrinkles and wide eyes turning into crescents left. Baekhyun notices how it made Jongdae smile in response, but doesn't even feel his own lips curling into a soft smile at the sight of it.
“I should go to bed now,” Kyungsoo whispers after gulping down the tea in no more than three sips.
“You have a day off tomorrow, right?” Jongdae enquires and Kyungsoo nods. He stands up and grabs the now-empty cup, but Jongdae stops him and takes the cup from him. He puts it in the sink, then fixes Kyungsoo's hair with a faint smile.
“I'll take care of it,” he adds. “And take the other room, Baek, Yeol and I have to wake up early tomorrow. You'll be able to sleep longer like that.”
Kyungsoo nods for the second time and pulls Jongdae close for a tight embrace. Most of the time, Kyungsoo looks and acts older than them, but there are times like those when he just lets himself go and seeks for Jongdae, Baekhyun and Chanyeol's warmth. It usually happens when they're away from prying eyes or when Kyungsoo is too tired or too sad to still care about control. Baekhyun's heart clenches almost painfully and he has to cling to the wall to not run and jump into the hug. He wishes Jongdae wouldn't have told Kyungsoo to sleep on the second bedroom of the apartment, but he knows he was right. They have two bedrooms, and they usually all sleep in the larger one all together -they put two beds in it- switching places every other night, but sometimes Kyungsoo uses the smaller one. It's mostly for when he comes back home after a night shift, because he doesn't want to wake them up, even though Jongdae and Baekhyun don't even care about it when they're the ones coming back after a night shift. Kyungsoo obviously needs the rest, and Baekhyun a mental note to try to not be that noisy in the morning -he almost hears Chanyeol cackling 'yeah right'- and to extra hug the younger when he'll come home after college.
A few steps from him, Jongdae and Kyungsoo finally break their embrace, but Jongdae grabs his wrist.
“You don't kiss me goodnight?” Jongdae asks, and even though Baekhyun can't see his face, the way his voice echoes through the silence of the kitchen makes it so easy to picture the sly smile that comes with it. Smooth, Jongdae, very smooth.
Kyungsoo sighs, but he's still smiling, and he gives in as easily as he always does. He pulls his hand back from Jongdae's grip but doesn't totally break the contact since his hand then settles on Jongdae's arm. He leans in, and because Baekhyun saw it happen a dozen of times, he pictures long and dark eyelashes grazing soft cheeks as Kyungsoo's eyes close, and plump lips drawing one last heart as they purse. Just when they're about to land on Jongdae's cheek, Jongdae turns his head, and their lips meet.
Jongdae is quick to secure his grip on Kyungsoo, one hand curling on the younger's nape and the other cupping his face, while his lips start a kiss that was obviously planned. Kyungsoo doesn't pull away, because he never does. Instead, he clenches his hands on Jongdae's shirt and gives as much as he gets, biting when Jongdae does, and licking when Jongdae allows him. Baekhyun doesn't look, but he knows there's no rush in Jongdae's kiss right now, it's all about comfort that he wants to give but also receive, and about love, so much love. It's always because of love, but the thing is, when you've been raised hearing that your love isn't made to be, that it's not even called love but defined with dirty words and so much stereotypes it doesn't feel like it's yours anymore, you end up being scared of the need and the want, of the words that would make it real. Then, it's like running in circles where stopping would mean losing the strength to start running again, and even worse than feeling like your love is nothing but a sex joke, you get scared of losing what makes you love despite of it all. There are confessions that Jongdae and Chanyeol can't make, and Baekhyun knows them all too well because he thinks about them so often without having them turning into words. So when they can't speak, they just do, and showing Kyungsoo they love him is only comforting because Kyungsoo just knows, and Kyungsoo accepts it all.
Baekhyun realizes that Jongdae is probably trying to say more this time, that there might be questions hanged up to the corners of his lips, and it pains him to understand only now that Jongdae obviously shares his and Chanyeol's doubts. Despite his attitude and the detached look in his eyes, Jongdae is as scared as them to wake up one day to a tiny apartment and jobs and college life slowing eating them alive, but with no Kyungsoo to help them cope with it all. They didn't confront Kyungsoo in the end, because they're just too scared, and Jongdae is doing what he can to ease his fears. Baekhyun steps away from the wall and hurries to the bedroom, careful not to make a sound. Just when he jumps on the bed, his heart almost too heavy for his feet to carry it around, he hears a soft chuckle, and he doesn't need years shared with both Kyungsoo and Jongdae to know that it's not Jongdae who's laughing.
Chanyeol mumbles when Baekhyun lands on the matress, but he doesn't wake up. Baekhyun snuggles up to him and pulls up the blanket to his chin. He hears Kyungsoo walking in the corridor, and then a door closes. The apartment is back to being silent, but Baekhyun fills it with terribly loud thoughts of Jongdae standing in the dark of the kitchen, and Kyungsoo sleeping and not dreaming of them. Just when he's about to get out of bed again to check on Jongdae, the bedroom's door slowly opens. He keeps quiet, eyes wide open to try to catch a glimpse of Jongdae now closing the door behind him. The younger male then turns on his heels, seems to hesitate for a second or two, and then walks straight to Chanyeol and Baekhyun's bed. Baekhyun stiffens, suddenly scared that Jongdae knows he saw him and Kyungsoo, because he knows how Jongdae feels about showing his weaknesses, but when Jongdae reaches the bed, he doesn't say anything. He stretches his hand and palms the blanket until he finally grabs it and lifts it up. Baekhyun shivers at the sudden rush of the cold, but it's quickly replaced by Jondgae's warm body as he slowly lays down next to him. The bed isn't nearly large enough for the three of them, but Baekhyun still welcomes him by hugging him closer to his chest. Jongdae startles.
“You're awake?” he whispers, and Baekhyun only nods, his nose brushing Jongdae's nape.
They keep silent for a while, Baekhyun's arms wrapped around Jongdae's waist, and Jongdae playing with his fingers.
“It's kind of scary, you know,” Jongdae finally whispers, his voice so soft Baekhyun first thinks he finally fell back asleep and dreamed it. “We built our world because we didn't fit in the real one, and now that we've grown used to our own rules, that world just invites itself and...”
There's a faint shiver running down Jongdae's spine.
“I know...” Baekhyun says.
Jongdae grabs one his hands and takes it to his lips to press a soft kiss on his fingers. Chanyeol cuddles up to Baekhyun's back, reducing the few millimeters between them to a sweet nothing, and Baekhyun feels him slipping his free arm around both him and Jongdae.
“Stop talking,” Chanyeol mumbles sleepily. “We're still together. We'll always be together. It'll be okay.”
His sentence ends in a soft snore, and just like that, he falls back asleep, his hot breath tickling Baekhyun's neck. Jongdae chuckles.
“What a fucking weirdo,” he says as he shakes his head.
“Damn right. He's lucky he has us.” Baekhyun adds.
Jongdae cranes his head to look at him, the corner of his lips curled up in the most beautiful smile. “Or,” he grins. “We're lucky to have him.”
Baekhyun beams at him and presses a light kiss on Jongdae's nose.
“Of course, we are.”
When the alarm clock rings two hours later, Jongdae grumbles, Baekhyun groans, but Chanyeol jumps out of bed, fresh and happy, and drags them both to the kitchen where he cooks them breakfast. Baekhyun sees the ghost of what happened during the night lurking in the kitchen and twirling around behind the counter as he grumpily sips his freshly brewed coffee, but Chanyeol ruffles his hair, pinches Jongdae's cheeks, laughs loudly and fills every silence between them with incessant babbling about classes, movies, books, anything he can come up with. So when Baekhyun closes the front door behind them, the three of them ready for a long day, he realises that the ghost didn't kiss him goodbye, like Jongdae and Chanyeol did, and the thought puts a big smile on his face.
Pretty lucky indeed.
“My feet hurt,” Baekhyun whines as he puts his forehead against the table the four of them are seated at.
Week-ends are the busiest days in the coffee shop, and with Christmas around the corner, it's even worse. Jongdae handled the cash register with a warm smile that didn't even weaken despite the line that wouldn't get any shorter, and Baekhyun made drinks for several hours in a row. As soon as the coffee shop emptied a little, Minseok -the coffee shop owner- sent both he and Jongdae on their break, but all Baekhyun can think about is the other half of their shift waiting for them, and how tired he is, and there's also that stupid essay he has to write. He groans, his nose pressed against the wooden surface.
“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” Kyungsoo warms him. Baekhyun throws him a confused look, his eyebrows raised. “Last time one of you cleaned the tables was like... two hours ago?”
Baekhyun grunts as he straightens and glares at the table. Next to him, Jongdae cackles, tiredness making the skin on his face look so thin it seems like it would tear with the softest touch, but still glowing and smiling.
“If you came to watch us suffer and then laugh at our misery, you can go back, Kyungsoo.”
Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Don't act all tough and cocky on me, Byun Baekhyun. You looked ready to throw a party when you saw us.”
Baekhyun shrugs. “I was happy to see Chanyeol.”
“And I'm here to support Jongdae only.”
Baekhyun pouts and Kyungsoo makes a disgusted face at him.
“What Baekhyun wants to say,” Jongdae butts in with a crooked smile. “Is that you should have stayed home and rest.”
Kyungsoo glances at Baekhyun who beams at him, and shakes his head with a soft sigh, lips breaking into a smile he tries to refrain.
“I didn't want to stay home alone, I..” Kyungsoo's smile slowly fades, and he shrugs. Baekhyun finally notices how he keeps checking his phone while biting his tongue, and how wide his eyes are. Chanyeol glances at him, and Jongdae frowns. They all feel it. Something is wrong.
“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol asks, almost hesitant.
Kyungsoo shrugs again. “I... I don't know, Jongin isn't talking to me anymore.” Baekhyun feels Jongdae stiffen next to him. “You guys remember Jongin, right? Well, he's dancing in a club, and they have a Christmas show, and he's mad at me because I didn't go to the premiere. But that's the thing, I didn't know. He told me he left tickets at home, but I've never seen any tickets, and he just won't listen to me.”
The coffee shop is noisy, but Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae are silent. Blood seems to have drained from Chanyeol and Jongdae's face, and Baekhyun guesses he looks as aghast as them, but Kyungsoo doesn't seem to notice.
“I suppose you guys didn't see any tickets, right?”
Kyungsoo looks up to them, and they shake their heads, perfectly synchronized. Kyungsoo sighs.
“He must have forgotten to give them to me... I don't know... I just wish he could listen to me.” His voice drops a few octaves, and with the noise all around them, it's almost impossible to hear what Kyungsoo says next. “I miss talking to him.
Barely a second passes by before Kyungsoo seems to shake himself, and when he looks at them again, he has that look in his eyes that Baekhyun decides he hates. It looks like a veil meant to hide something else, something Kyungsoo doesn't want them to see.
“Whatever,” Kyungsoo says. He stands up and smiles at them. “I'm gonna use the restroom, I'll be right back.”
They watch him walk away, and when he's finally out of sight, Chanyeol violently closes his laptop and leans over the table with wide eyes.
“We are so dead.”
Baekhyun vigorously nods.
“We can't tell him,” Jongdae protests. “He'd kill us.”
“He's going to kill us either way.” Baekhyun glances at Chanyeol before looking back at Jongdae. “We can't keep a secret from him, he always finds out, Jongdae.”
Jongdae seems to hesitate, lips biting and eyes narrowing, and Baekhyun can almost hear the roar of the wheels turning in his head. This can't be good, and this time, whatever Jongdae will say, Baekhyun will refuse. It was easier to ignore the consequences when Kyungsoo didn't look so sad and lost, and also -mostly- when they weren't facing their imminent deaths.
“We should tell him,” Baekhyun says, hesitant. “What's the saying? A fault confessed is half redressed or something like that?”
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that,” Jongdae laughs at him, and Baekhyun kicks him under the table.
“It's all your fault, you asshat!”
Jongdae winces, more because of Baekhyun's high-pitched voice, hysteria already making it barely bearable, than because of the kick. He's about to answer, and Baekhyun is about to kick him in the shin again because he doesn't want to hear the “like you were soooo against it, Byun Baek” and the ”Do I have to remind you that you were the one suggesting to threaten Kim Jongin? I don't think my plan was so bad in the end”, because Jongdae would be totally right, and Baekhyun hates Jongdae being right.
“Hyung! Jongdae hyung!”
Sehun stops next to their table, out of breath but looking ecstatic with half of his face disappearing under his wide grin. Jongdae throws him a confused look.
“I was hoping you-” heavy breathing “-would still be on your break because I-” heavy breathing “-need to talk to you!”
Sehun closes his eyes and clenches his hand on his chest, just on his heart, and Chanyeol hands him his drink, worried.
“Don't die on us, kiddo,” Jongdae says as Sehun drinks half of Chanyeol's fruit juice in a sip. “I'm here now, what's going on?”
Sehun gives Chanyeol back his cup, and Baekhyun chortles when the latter peeks inside with a sad look in his eyes.
“It's Junmyeon hyung,” Sehun beams at them. “He asked me out!”
Baekhyun's jaw drops, Chanyeol completely forgets about his apricot juice, and Jongdae stares at his best friend in disbelief. Sehun giggles -Baekhyun didn't even know the kid could giggle- and his eyes turn to sparkling crescents that almost disappear under soft cheekbones.
“I'm going on a date with him tonight!” Sehun singsongs.
Jongdae blinks a couple of time, still shocked, but at least he's used to Sehun's secret identity. Baekhyun isn't, so he's is still trying to figure out how this Sehun can look so happy and be all smiley like that, and judging by Chanyeol's eyebrows which are furrowing more and more every time Sehun giggles, he's not the only one.
“Well, that's...” Jongdae tries. “That's unexpected.” He clears his throat and then breaks into a sincere smile. “It was about damn time! I was starting to think he didn't deserve you!”
Sehun grins at him, happiness even more radiant now that Jongdae congratulated him, before a hesitant look slightly darkens his eyes.
“But it means I can't keep the thing with Jongin going, you know. Even if we're not really dating, I wouldn't want Junmyeon hyung to find out about it and think I'm cheating on him.”
“What thing with Jongin?”
Baekhyun freezes, heart beating erratically in his chest as Sehun turns to a suspicious looking Kyungsoo. Chanyeol lets out a fearful yelp that turns into a weak gargle when Kyungsoo shoots daggers straight at him.
“What the fuck have you done?” he questions, eyeing them one after another. Baekhyun hunches his shoulders when Kyungsoo's dark orbits land on him. “Tell me you're not behind that ticket thing.”
Kyungsoo doesn't look like he's begging them, but that's probably because he's already beyond doubt, and Baekhyun wishes he could tell him they didn't do it, for once, but he finds himself tongue-tied. None of them can lie to Kyungsoo, especially when he's looking at them like he is right now. Even his bangs look darker with the anger flashing in his eyes.
“Okay,” Kyungsoo finally says. “We'll talk about this when you'll come home after work.” He grabs his shoulder bag and his phone. “But don't be fucking late.”
Chanyeol, Jongdae and Baekhyun watch their younger roommate walking out of the coffee shop, and Baekhyun is about to go and beg Minseok to let him work all night long. He swallows down, and realizes he was bitting his lips all this time when he tastes blood on the tip of his tongue.
“I'm sorry,” Sehun apologizes with wide eyes. “I fucked up, I didn't know, I'm sorry.”
Jongdae shakes his head. “Don't worry.” He gives him a reassuring smile. “We were about to tell him anyway.”
Sehun shrugs, happiness in his eyes now faded to darker colors, like worry and remorse, but Jongdae shakes his head again. He leans over the table and ruffles Sehun's hair.
“Don't worry, Sehunnie. You finally got a date with the man of your dream. Practice safe sex and let him pay for everything, okay?”
Sehun smiles despite himself, and Jongdae takes it as a victory. He winks at his best friend.
“Plus,” Baekhyun butts in. “Kyungsoo loves us too much to actually kill us, you know.”
Chanyeol and Jongdae look at him, and Baekhyun slowly shrugs.
“He put up with us all this time.”
Jongdae snorts.
“Yeah,” Chanyeol agrees as a little smile reveals the dimple on his cheek. “I guess he did.”
Baekhyun kind of wants to go back to the coffee shop, because it was easier to be sure of Kyungsoo's love for them over there. Now that they're facing the door, he can't help but imagine all kinds of scenarios, like Kyungsoo with knives, or Kyungsoo with boxes full of his stuff, Kyungsoo yelling at them, Kyungsoo finally done with them, but no matter what will happen when they'll finally open the door, he'll have to face Kyungsoo's eyes, and that's what scares him the most. What if there's disappointment? Disgust? Hatred? He shivers.
“We should go in,” Jongdae whispers, but his hand is still frozen on the doorknob.
“Wait,” Chanyeol exclaims, and Jongdae sends him a questionning look. Chanyeol frowns, like he actually thought they wouldn't listen to him and now realizes he had nothing to say. “I... I don't know.”
Baekhyun nods, not quite sure about what he's agreeing to, but feeling like Chanyeol needed it anyway. Jongdae, on the other, takes a sharp intake of breath.
“Let's go,” he says, and then he opens the door.
The apartment is silent, but the air inside seems thicker and harder to breath in Baekhyun realizes as they step inside. He doesn't want to confront Kyungsoo, but not confronting him actually seems worse, so he's about to call him when Jongdae loudly swallows down next to him. He turns and finally sees Kyungsoo standing next to the table, arms folded on his tiny chest as he taps his foot on the ground, his eyes perfectly round and the heart on his lips still there, but anger lying on his eyebrows and making them darken the looks he send them.
“Sit,” his voice whips in the air, drawing blood from the silence.
Chanyeol, Jongdae and Baekhyun exchange worried looks, but none of them even thinks about protesting or refusing. They all take place around the table, silence only broken by the scratching of the chairs against the floor and Chanyeol's faint moan of pain when he hits his toe against the table's leg. Baekhyun grabs his hand under the table, too happy to have an excuse to hold onto him without looking as scared as he feels.
“So,” Kyungsoo begins, and despite being the smaller one out of them, it seems like he's hovering over the three of them. “Want to tell me why you didn't give me those tickets? And why Sehun has been hitting on Jongin the past few days?”
Jongdae bites his lips as Kyungsoo stops behind him.
“Jongdae? Sehun's your best friend, I'm sure you know why.”
Jongdae shakes his head, and Baekhyun feels Chanyeol's fingers tightening around his.
“We were scared,” Chanyeol blurts out, and silence is the only answer he gets for a while. He glances at Baekhyun, hesitant, and Baekhyun nods at him with the shadow of a reassuring smile. “Because you didn't talk to us about Jongin, and we thought you might...I don't know, leave us.”
“Yeah,” Kyungsoo answers, sacarsm heavy in his voice. “It's not like I've known you for seventeen years already.”
“You met with him in secret!” Jongdae protests, on the defensive.
“Can't imagine why I'd do that,” Kyungsoo retorts.
Jongdae deflates and looks down at the table. Baekhyun feels like he should say something too, but everything he felt the past few weeks is still heavy on his heart, so far away from his brain where they could turn into words, and he doesn't know how he should explain something people barely understand most of the time. He just holds Chanyeol's hand tighter and tries not to choke on unsaid things.
Kyungsoo sighs and sits down at the table, now facing them. He takes a long time watching them and sighs another time, but Baekhyun knows their younger roommate. The anger is already gone, though it doesn't mean they're on the clear yet.
“Look, no matter how dumb the three of you are, you're my family,” Kyungsoo says. “I'm not gonna leave or I don't know what bullshit you were afraid of just because I met a guy.”
“Yeah?” Chanyeol asks with defiance. “But you've been looking so damn happy lately! Way more than when you're with us!”
Kyungsoo reaches over and hits Chanyeol on the side of his head with the palm of his hand.
“I wasn't unhappy with you, dumbass,” he snaps. “I've just been fucking lovestruck, you giant idiot. I downloaded thirty Celion Dion songs yesterday, do you really think it makes me happy?!”
Baekhyun stares at Kyungsoo in disbelief, feeling like his brain is about to explode as he's trying to register everything Kyungsoo's saying. He can't say things like that with that kind of voice, he can't sound dead serious and almost detached as he kind of confesses his feelings, it makes the shock even more violent, and Baekhyun isn't sure he's strong enough to face it. Plus, he's pretty sure no one should be allowed to mention Celion Dion's love songs with a face that serious, it sounds so paradoxal that it feels like Baekhyun's dreaming it.
“If I had been unhappy, I would have done something to change it,” Kyungsoo mumbles. “Who do you think I am? A fucking damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shinning armour?”
Kyungsoo glances at them and sighs for the third time in less than two minutes.
“You should have expected something like that to happen sooner or later, you know. It's always been about the three of you, and despite all the kissing and everything, I've never been part of it, but that's totally fine by me. I know it's easier for you to kiss me when you want to make sure I know you love me, but it's never been more than that, guys.”
Baekhyun feels Chanyeol's hand squeezing his own hand, and glances at Jongdae who's still wordlessly looking down at the table. Kyungsoo's voice twirls around in the air, slipping through the pores of his skin, and Baekhyun feels it bathing in the ray of sunshine in his belly. There's a knot in his throat but he's pretty sure it's not made of tears but of laughter and relief, everything that Kyungsoo has always given to them.
“You three have something precious, something I could never share with you, but did it make you leave me?”
Baekhyun thinks about the want and the need, the want of Jongdae's lips in the crook of his neck, the need of Chanyeol's body caging him, he thinks about the burning desire and about nights spent losing himself between heavy moans and soft gasps, but he also thinks about game nights with Kyungsoo, watching movies with Kyungsoo, making Kyungsoo laugh, Kyungsoo cooking for them, and it suddenly gets too much for him. He knows Kyungsoo's right. Kyungsoo is the friend everybody wants to have, and Chanyeol and Jongdae might be way more than that, it doesn't mean Kyungsoo isn't less of a friend. Baekhyun needs him, just as much as he needs Chanyeol and Jongdae, but in a different way, is all.
“So now that I may find something equally precious,” Kyungsoo adds. “Don't think that I'll do it differently than you.”
Chanyeol lets go of Baekhyun's hand, and Baekhyun glances at him just in time to see him wipping his eyes. Kyungsoo reaches over another time and grabs Chanyeol's wrist to squeeze it in his tiny fingers.
“One last thing,” he says. “I know you're afraid of what you're feeling, but you shouldn't. Those are your feelings, and people not understanding them shouldn't mean that you have to forget them. Plus not saying it out loud doesn't make it less real, you know.”
Silence comes back in the room, but this time softer and almost promising. Baekhyun spent so much time the past few days worrying about not having a future with Kyungsoo anymore that finally knowing it won't happen makes him feel dizzy. He glances at Jongdae and feels bubbles exploding in his chest at the sight of the latter finally straight in his seat and not looking down at the table anymore. Jongdae juggles with social interactions with so much ease, but he's always danced on the edge of a cliff with people because of what's between them, and the fear of finally falling has probably been the only thing that can make him lower his head. Now Baekhyun can almost read Kyungsoo's words flickering above Jongdae's head with the shy light of a burgeoning hope.
“Now that everything's clear” Kyungsoo says as he stands up. He smiles at them, but unless his last smiles, this one is far from being reassuring. “Here comes my favorite part. I'm gonna go and watch Jongin's dance show, then we'll have dinner and I probably won't come back before tomorrow.”
He eyes them, as if waiting for any protest of any kind, but they all know him too well to only dare thinking about it.
“Great,” Kyungsoo smiles, and Baekhyun waits for the final blow. “And I didn't cook anything.”
Chanyeol, Jongdae and Baekhyun gasp at the same time, and Kyungsoo cackles as he walks away. He grabs his coat and puts it on, flashing them a proud -and evil- smile from time to time. They watch him getting ready wordlessly, and Baekhyun quickly notices the impatience lurking in Kyungsoo's eyes and the nervous twitch of his smile when he thinks he's hidden from them. The fear is still there, because it's unusual and kind of worrying to see your seventeen year-old best friend throwing himself in a new relationship you'll have no part in, but Baekhyun tries to see past through it.
At least, he's witnessing enough teasing material for the next five years.
“Let me see!” Jongdae whines, and Chanyeol hushes him by jabing him with his elbow. Baekhyun presses his hand on Jongdae's mouth to muffle his moan.
“Wait 'til it's your turn,” Baekhyun warms Jongdae who glowers at him.
Chanyeol is pressed against the front door, face glued to the peephole, and when he gasps, Baekhyun has to keep himself from pushing him aside to take a look. He has to follow his own order -he just took a look on top of that- and Jongdae throws him a knowing and smug look. Baekhyun sticks his tongue at him.
“They're kissing!” Chanyeol whispers with another gasp that turns into a yelp when Jongdae and Baekhyun both push him aside.
They press against the door at the same time, and despite Jongdae taking more than half of the peephole for himself, Baekhyun manages to catch a glimpse of what's happening on the other side of their door.
Kyungsoo and Kim Jongin are standing on their doormat, and even if they're not kissing, Baekhyun knows Chanyeol didn't lie for they stand pretty close. Not to mention Kim Jongin's glances at Kyungsoo's lips. Baekhyun groans in disgust. Kyungsoo smiles and finally turns towards the door. Jongdae straightens with a start and Baekhyun quickly steps away from the door. Thinking they're leaving him their places, Chanyeol presses his face against the peephole, satisfied.
“No Chanyeol, caref--” Baekhyun tries to warm him, but it's too late. Kyungsoo opens the door, and it hits Chanyeol's face with a loud bump that seems to echo through Baekhyun's body. Baekhyun grimaces as Chanyeol doubles over, holding his face with his two hands. Jongdae rushes to him and pushes them aside to examine the younger.
Baekhyun chooses to stay put to try and keep up appareances as a totally-not-impressed Kyungsoo and shy-looking Kim Jongin face them. There's a moment of silence when Chanyeol straightens, his left eye half closed and the skin around already painted in red, and after painfully long seconds, Kyungsoo lets out a long sigh before shaking his head, half a smile pulling at his lips.
“Hi,” he greets them.
“Hi!” Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Jongdae answers in unison.
“Hi,” Jongin shyly adds, but Jongdae, Chanyeol and Baekhyun remain silent. Watching Kim Jongin turn into a red tomato might be the funniest thing ever after Sehun and Junmyeon being awkward with their attraction for each other, and when Baekhyun remembers that he's been deprived of that sight by Junmyeon's sudden courage, he makes a mental note to never miss a chance to embarrass Kim Jongin.
“I-- I want you to know that I wasn't cheating on Kyungsoo with Sehun,” Jongin stutters. “I had no idea he was actually hitting on me? I don't know, I-well, I was just thinking we were catching up.”
Jongdae's eyes narrow, but Kyungsoo doesn't seem to notice.
“Well that might explain why it took him two years to score a date with Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo mocks, and Jongin chuckles.
Baekhyun and Jongdae stay silent, and Chanyeol too but he's probably too busy furiously blinking with his left eye to pay attention. Jongin blushes even more as his laugh slowly dies in the back of his throat, and Kyungsoo sighs. He grabs Jongin by the arm and drags him inside before closing the door behind them. Baekhyun immediately notices Jongin's hand refusing to let go of Kyungsoo's arm, and he'll never say it out loud, but he kinda likes the guy for it.
“Jongin is a first-year student,” Kyungsoo says innocently, but a red alarm rings through Baekhyun's mind. Innocence and Kyungsoo don't sit well together. “And he's studying nuclear physics and molecular biology.”
Baekhyun and Jongdae both freeze as Chanyeol pulls his hands away from his face to throw an interested look at Jongin. Low blow, Baekhyun thinks but Kyungsoo's smile gets even wider.
“Double degree,” he adds.
Chanyeol gasps loudly and turns to Baekhyun and Jongdae, eyes wide open -although the left one might not be as opened as the right one- and excitation making him look lik a mad scientist. Behind him, Jongin throws a confused look at Kyungsoo, red now spreading to his ears.
“Am I really not allowed to talk to him??” Chanyeol almost screams with pleading eyes, looking like he's about to hop up and down with excitation.
Baekhyun and Jongdae exchange a look, but Baekhyun already feels himself giving in to Chanyeol, and he knows Jongdae is too. Such a low low low blow.
Fortunately, he didn't forget about his teasing material on Kyungsoo. Revenge is a dish best served cold.
('Cold' being approximately fifteen minutes later to Baekhyun.)
Merry Christmas, Clafoutis of my heart!
because we share the same love for chingu line ♥
I am so sorry, I know you probably expected some awesome ot3 smut (damn I kind of expected it myself too) but I don't know, it just never felt like it was the moment :(
And I should probably be ashamed of calling this poopy thing a christmas fic because this must be the less christmas-y fic of all the christmas fics
Meeting you was the highpoint of this whole year, and I feel so lucky to have you as my friend. I wish everyone in their lives had someone life you, it'd make things so much easier. I love you ♥
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