to die will be an awfully big adventure ; kaisoo ; part ii
When Jongin slides along the North Wind again, chuckling as the latter pinches his calves, he has no recollection of having missed a day. Jongin always holds his promises,and he swore he'll be there every night. Because he is a man of honor, or more accurately a boy of honor, he decides he didn't fail his words, so here he is, challenging Tao in a race he'll most surely win,and charming the stars with cheerful spins in the night sky as if yesterday was two day ago,and tomorrow is nothing more than today.
You may not believe it,and it is fine, as long as you believe that Jonginbelieves it.
Jongin whirls around the bell towerand lands at its peak. He stands on his toesand spreads his arms like wings, because they are wings,and closes his eyes. He towers over the city, over the world,and the only beings higher than him are the stars. They were punished long ago, for something they can't even remember, so they're nothing but envious at Jongin's ability to fly. It's a short-lived jealousy though, because soon enough, as Jongin jumps into the void with a delighted scream, they all applauseand twinkle gleefully. Jongin is the child of no oneand everyone at the same time,and the stars will always be prompt to say Jongin is one of them. Look at the gold under his eyelidsand the shadow under his soles, such beauty could have come only from us, we are his mothers..Maybe, you'd think, that is exactly why stars were banished in the first place, but since they have forgotten said reason, they can't really learn their lesson. No one would like a modest star anyway, for it probably doesn't twinkle. That is, most certainly, ,the biggest thing Jonginand stars have in common.
Today, there's no time to play with the dog, but Tao is already dancing on the doghouse’s roof, shaking his little butt at the half-threatened half-threatening cocker spaniel. Jongin puts his fingers in his mouthand whistles to call the fairy to order, but he doesn't wait for his tiny companion. Today is a special day after all,and there's no time to be wasted.
He lands softly on the window ledge, which could have been familiar by now, but Jongin dislikes familiarity so he brushes away the feeling. He does enjoy though the peak of excitation in his belly as he knocks against the window.
“Kyungsoo,” he says proudly. “Today is my birthday.”
Something moves in the darkness, then clicks,and light suddenly pours in the room. Jongin blinks,and scoots closer to the glass. There's a silhouette slowly sitting up on the bed,and finally a head pops out at the top. Black hair, white skin, violet wings spreading on smooth cheekbones. Today, Jongin invents blue, but a blue so dark it can't be called dark blue.
It doesn't really matter though, because, it is his birthdayand no time, not even a second, should be for anything else than him,and him only.
“It's my birthday,” Jongin repeats.
Kyungsoo slowly emerges from the thick blanket, but he stays on his bed. There's an ocean of shadows between himand the window. It is a wise decision, Jongin decides, to stay on the beach of light around the bed, but he wishes Kyungsoo would brave the dark to come closer. He feels like his birthday should be between the two of them only.
“Happy birthday,” Kyungsoo says. Tired eyes turn into crescent as he smiles,and red comes to life.
“Thank you. Isn't it nice? I invented Birthday this morning. You see, it was lonely,and I told him it could come with me if it wanted to.”
“Did it want to?” Kyungsoo asks. He squirms a bit on his bed, turning his blanket into a nest. He has never looked more like a bird.
“Of course it did. And now we're spending the day together,and see, birthday means that everyone should love meand smile at me.”
Kyungsoo beams, not because Birthday wants him to, but because Jongin looks really familiar on his window ledge,and he likes it.
“Well, I love you,” he says. “Did Birthday give you a cake?”
Jongin frownsand shakes his head.
“Why,” he cries out. “Is Birthday actually a bad friend?”
Kyungsoo chuckles. “Maybe Birthday didn't tell you, but it should give you presents when it spends the day with you.”
Jongin pouts. He doesn't like it, when he is being laughed at,and thanks to Kyungsoo, it becomes now obvious that Birthday played with him. He doesn't recall getting presents, nor does he remember saying, just two days ago, that he didn't need anything or anyone to get presents. He thought he had something important to show Kyungsoo, but Birthday is not as nice as he thought,and he finds himself much annoyed,and too empty handed for his liking.
“Don't be sad,” Kyungsoo says. “I'll give you a present.”
“I'm not sad,” Jongin pouts, saddened.
“Of course you aren't.”
Kyungsoo grabs his blanketand holds it draped all over his body as he hops out of his bed. He lacks something that Jongin can't name - healtha dictionary would say, but how ugly is this word?-and stutters a bit. It's impressive that he doesn't hesitate before leaving the beach of lightand stepping into the darkness,and Jongin would probably be very impressed if he had been aware of it. Indeed, his eyes don't leave Kyugnsoo's, for those don't stop flooding lightand Jongin can't see shadows around Kyungsoo's ankles.
Kyungsoo hauls himself up on the window ledgeand stays on his knees as he unlocks the window. He looks up at Jongin.
“This is for your birthday,” he says. He then opens the window, slightly so that only his fingers from his right hand can slip through the opening. “Take my hand.”
Jongin hesitates, glances at Tao who is glaring at the tiny pale fingers,and thinks what a great adventure. He takes Kyungsoo's fingers between his,and looks up at the latter. This is something very special, Birthday whispers in Jongin's ear,and Jongin believes him. Birthday would know after all, because it's such a special day itself.
“Happy birthday,” Kyungsoo says for the second time, but this time, it feels even better.
His fingers are cold but soft. Jongin holds them tightly, Kyungsoo's fingertips against his palmand his own fingers stroking the upper part of Kyungsoo's palm.
“Will you come back tomorrow?” Kyungsoo asks.
Jongin will surely do, he thinks,and it's easy to believe it now that the window isn't completely closed, but he likes asking, because he likes Jongin's answers.
“Of course,” Jongin says.
Kyungsoo smiles, huddling up against the window. It's so cold, so cold, but he has his blanket around him,and Jongin's hand around his fingers, so it's not that bad.
“I won't be there tomorrow. Mom said I will spend the night at the hospital.”
Jongin has no idea what a hospital is, but because he doesn't want to look dumb to Kyungsoo, he fakes surprise.
“Why?”
Kyungsoo shrugs. He's not sure anymore.
“So that I can't stop being sick?” he tries.
Even to him, it doesn't make much sense, but to Jongin, who's even more like a bird than Kyungsoo, it is perfectly meaningless. He frowns, taking in Kyungsoo's appearance. Up this close, black, white, red, violetand blue are even prettier. Jongin has seen stars trying to drape themselves with those colors, or rather pale imitations of those colors. Deep down, he knows that they have a lot to do with Kyungsoo 'being sick', just like he knows that there are children who are bound to get lost,and others who won't, but he can't fathom why, in Neverland's name, Kyungsoo should stop wearing those colors.
“Why do you have to stop being sick?” he asks, genuinely curious.
“I don't know. It makes my mom cry,and I don't like it when she cries. Also, if I stopped being sick, I could open the windowand fly to Neverland with you.”
Jongin winces with disgust. He pats Kyungsoo's hand with his other hand.
“You will never need any adult's permission to come with me,” he says. “Adults are always ruining everything.”
Why, really, why would adults want Kyungsoo to change? Jongin can't help but think that Kyungsoo 'being sick' is the prettiest,and adults should see it. He makes a mental note to breathe as fast as possible when he'll be back in Neverland, because the saying says that each time you breathe in in Neverland, a grownup fades away.
Kyungsoo smiles. The borders are so far from their minds that the window, the space between them don't even exist,and Jongin's idea mingles with Kyungsoo's mind.
“I think you are very pretty too,” he says. “So I will give you another present, do you want it?”
Jongin nods furiously,and Kyungsoo chuckles. This is not gold, this is not goldthe stars cry out in the sky, but Jongin refuses to believe them. Maybe they were hung up so far above the city because they were nasty liars, because the what just came out of Kyungsoo's mouth does sound like gold.
Kyungsoo pulls away,and Jongin misses his fingers right away. He pouts as Kyungsoo brings his hand to his lips, but stops sulking when Kyungsoo kisses his fingertips. Oh!Isn't that red staining Kyungsoo's pale fingers? Isn't it so pretty? What a special day!
Kyungsoo slips his hand through the opening again,and his fingers wiggle in the night. His lips didn't only leave red on them, Jongin also sees violetand blue.
“Take it,” Kyungsoo says. His eyes are twinkling.
Jongin hesitates, but with impatience. As the finest explorer out there, he's found more treasures that he could count,and he knows they need a bit more space, a bit more time in the stories, because they're just too precious, too beautiful, to be reduced to a few lines only. It's so pretty that it would take an awfully long time to reach your imagination,and Jongin doesn't really like the idea of sharing it anyway, so he finally quickly seizes it, fingers wrapping around Kyungsoo's.
“It's a kiss,” Kyungsoo says. “It's for you.”
Jongin brings up the colors to his face. Red, violet, blue,and a bit of gold, a bit of white. The closer his fingers get to his mouth, the more his lips prickle.
“I will keep it safe,” he whispers, goggling at his hand.
Red stretches a bit at his fingertipand follows the curve of Jongin's lips. It's nice, it's even better than flying, he thinks, so he closes his eyesand presses his fingers against his lips.
Words would fail to describe how glorious it feels, unless they come from Jongin,and for the first time, they do.
“I will keep it forever,” he says.
And somehow, he means it.
Jongin flies a little lower than usual,and more than once, a chimney, warmand puffing out smoke, stretches a bit to scratch his belly. What a pleasure it is to hear Jongin's laugh echoing through the night in tinkling notes, especially for something that has to turn fire, with all its vivid colors, into ashesand cold things. If your father struggles to light up a fire in the fireplace one day, you better rush outsideand squint your eyes at the sky, because it probably means that Jongin is around,and flying so low your chimney forgot to do its work,and is lost in daydreaming. Have you ever seen a flying chimney heading to Neverland? Probably not,and that's why they daydream a lot.
But today, Jongin doesn't fly low to playand make sure the other world bends under his presence as well. He doesn't fly low because of the North Wind, because the latter is actually up in the sky, where snow turns to ice. Jongin flies low because he's carrying Birthday on his back,and how heavy Birthday is! Tao had to sprinkle it with fairy dust for a whole minute,and still, Birthday couldn't fly on its own. Luckily for it, it's very important for Jongin, so he still took it with him--to Tao's dismay. Birthday has insulted his pixie dust after all.
The house's outline pops up in the dark. Jongin is flying so low he almost doesn't recognize it. The cocker spaniel is there, but it looks up at Jongin with tiredand bored eyes. Tao throws a bit of pixie dust on the doghouse which immediately starts dancing a few inches above the ground. The dog raises its head, but doesn't stir,and Tao chirps, outraged. Why is everyone trying to insult the quality of his pixie dust?
Jongin would invent a nice excuse if he cared,and it would end up being the truth because Jongin is always right, but he doesn't even stop to look back at a sulking Tao. He follows the house's wall, up, up, up,and finally, finally, he's there.
He dumps Birthday on the window ledgeand lands softly next to it.
"It's my birthday!" he says.
He looks up at the window expectantly, but only darkness greets him.
"It's my birthday," he repeats.
Darkness, darkness, and, ohwhat is that? Red? Jongin squints, steps closerand sticks an eye against the glass. The numbers blink at him, challenging,and Jongin jumps back, outraged.
"Kyungsoo?" he asks.
He knocks against the window, but it remains blackand red that isn't really red. No one comes, no one smiles, no one answers. It almost feels familiar, even if Jongin doesn't know what familiar is, but oh, how he hates the burn on his tongue, the prickle of tears in his eyes. Long time ago, there was a woman behind that window,and she was holding a boy, a boy that should have been Jongin but who wasn't, for Jongin was behind the bars, bumpingand screaming. The memory, because it is a memory, fades away almost right away, but what remains is the strong feeling of betrayal. Jongin sits down on the window ledge, shocked. Birthday looks at him with wide innocent eyes,and Jongin frowns.
"It's your fault," he says. "Go away!"
He kicks Birthday,and Birthday leaves, saddened by Jongin's rejection. Growing up is definitely not for Jongin.
Jongin sniffsand glances at the window, cold against his shoulder.
"Kyungsoo?" he tries again, because he has forgotten already how deeply it hurts when no one answers. Jongin is the best at first times, but there are first times that are, unfortunately, not as pleasant as others. Jongin wouldn't know though, because they're all his first times.
"Kyungsoo?" he says again, pouting. "It's not my birthday anymore."
Kyungsoo still doesn't come out, nothing moves in the room except the numbers, but those don't count, for Jongin hates them. If only he could remember that there are other windows in the cityand that Kyungsoo told him about at least another one behind which he'll spend the night. The very same night that Jongin spends waiting, miserable, on Kyungsoo's window ledge, asking for his not-Lost-yet Boyand experiencing betrayal for the first time every once in a while.
Morning comes later than usual, because Jongin wanted to wait a bit more, but morning finally comes anyway,and Jonginand Tao are already back in Neverland for a new adventure. Kyungsoo, as for him, opens his eyes behind a white window with black bars. His mother is crying, holding her boy against her, her boy who has always been Kyungsooand who will always be. He hears sicka few more times, understands that, maybe, time has went by even faster while he was sleeping. It's probably because of the window, he muses. A window behind which Jongin never sits is bound to let more time slips in.
He wants to go home, he tells his mother,and she nods, she cries. She shouldn't. He has a sharp swordand a shield,and he can fight pirates home. Here, there are bars on the window.
Neverland is all about Kyungsoo, for Jongin also is all about Kyungsoo. He's lying in the grass, near the Indian village, near the Pirate's cove, near the Mermaid's Lagoon. Neverland has shrunk to a much smaller size. If there were books about Neverland -what an odd idea!- then you would know it has never been that small, but since Neverland doesn't fit in a dictionary, you wouldn't be aware of it. Neverland knows, though,and never its borders have been so miserable. In the tree house, Junmyeon steps on Jongdae's tailand Jongdae screeches, Sehun groans at Junmyeon who tripsand falls, straight in the Mermaid's Lagoon. He splashes them,and they cry out in anger. One of them wants to jump on Junmyeonand pull on his fur, but she jumps too farand lands on Captain Hook's ship. Neverland is topsy-turvy, but Jongin couldn't care less.
He thinks about red, violetand blue, about blackand white. He thinks he sees red, the real red, in the fruits dangling off the branches around him,and maybe there's a bit of whiteand blue in the sky. Isn't that butterfly violet? He's sure that he would find black in the holes of his panpipes. When he looks down at his fingers, the kiss is there, all over his fingertips.
There's an odd feeling in the air, something different. Cold probably didn't come back, Jongin is sure of that, because it is way too scared of him. But something is indeed coming. You see, there are a few things Jongin knows, reallyknows,and one of them is the reason why he doesn't grow up. Children don't know it because only a grown up has the words to explain it, but as they keep growing up, they often forget it. Jongin's mission is out of time,and that is what makes it important. Someone has to take care of it, right?
Whatever it is, there is red in Neverland, violet, blue, blackand white,and that's what matters the most. Jongin knows it,and whether or not you have understood it already doesn't matter. There are things in the back of your mind which can't be worded yet,and which will only take their meaning at the right time, the very last time. And this is one of those.
So when Jongin flies to the other world again that night, he doesn't laugh, doesn't whirl around,and doesn't allow chimneys to poke at his belly. Tao follows suit, wordless,and faster than usual. He has left his pixie dust home, because he won't need it. He was perfectly right -of course he was, who do you think he is?- because the dog is inside,and the doghouse stands out, empty, in the middle of the lawn. The neighborhood is silent. They were all expecting someone else to show up in the middle of the night, but it's just Jongin. It's just Jongin, just Jongin,the birds whisper to one another. Who who who who? the cuckoo asks. Just Jongin!They all agree, even the mouseand the owl, it is pure relief. One handshake to celebrate it,and they can go back to huntingand being hunted.
Jongin lands on the window ledge, softly. The beach of light doesn't come from a bedside lamp this time, but from the Moon, who, despite being up in the sky, has always been very curious. She is watching, even though she knows what will happen. Being a bit out of time as well, she was above the Kensington Gardens long ago,and she has seen Jongin use his spade several times. Maybe she even knows the truth about Jongin, about who he really is, but it's a secret she's keeping cautiously as she keeps a motherly eye on Jongin.
Jongin crouches down,and smiles as he looks through the windowand meets Kyungsoo's eyes.
“Hi Kyungsoo,” he says.
Kyungsoo smiles, the blanket pulled up to his chin. His bed has been moved near the window, but Jongin was in Neverland, so he doesn't know why.
“Hi Jongin,” Kyungsoo answers.
His voice is weak, tired, a bit out of time, but his smile is still red,and that is all that matters. Jongin takes a look around the roomand is delighted to see that the numbers have disappeared. Out of time indeed.
“I asked my mom to put my bed here, so I can speak to youand stay warm,” Kyungsoo says.
His sword is resting against the right side of the bump that his body is under the thick blanket,and the shield is at his feet. Kyungsoo was right to want to come home, because he doesn't cough that much since he got his sword back. Jongin taught him how to fence in an adventure he lived or dreamed -but isn't it the same thing?-and he thinks he's doing pretty well for now.
Jongin, as for him, is delighted to see that no adult has managed to change Kyungsoo. He's still draped in violet, blue, blackand white, the colors of the stars. What is different -the curve of Kyungsoo's cheeks, or the bags under his eyes- come from Kyungsoo only,and hasn't been ordered by anyone.
“Look,” Jongin says. “I still have your kiss. The Lost Boys are jealous, because they don't have a kiss.”
“I know,” Kyungsoo mumbles. “Sehun tried to give a kiss to Jongdae, but it wasn't a kiss.”
Jongin chuckles, a bit mockingand a lot proud. He has the only kiss available in Neverland,and he will make sure it remainsthat way. Or, almostthat way.
“When you'll be in Neverland, I'll give you a kiss too,” he says.
Kyungsoo smiles, delighted. Receiving Jongin's first kiss, what an honor! He wishes Neverland would come to him sooner, but he knows it will, eventually. He just has to be patient, just like his mom always tells him.
“We will go on an adventure, right?” he asks, thoughtful. Moonlight isn't as strong as the one pouring from his bedside lamp,and that's why the latter is out when the former still shines up in the sky, but it hurts Kyungsoo's eyes all the same. He blinks,and finally closes them. Jongin sits with his back against the bricks,and his long legs following the window ledgeand finally dangling off the edge.
“Of course,” he nods. “Neverland has plenty of adventures. I suggest we go defy the pirates first, because they're even dumber in the evening,and I don't like wining when it's too easy.”
“Me neither,” Kyungsoo whispers, his eyes still closed. “I remember there was a monster in my room once,and all I had to do was turn on the light to kill it, it was so easy.”
Jongin snorts. Boys like them should have enemies at their level, otherwise, it's just insulting. Plus, when the final fight is too easy, the story ends up bad, like it's trying to be good, but it's trying too hard. Jongin really loathes stories which try too hard,and if he could, he would banish them all in the north, with Cold, but that would mean banishing many grownups,and Jongin has better things to do.
“I wanna see the Sachem,” Kyungsoo says. “The rumor has it the wrinkles on his face are actually a treasure map,and I want to find the treasure.”
“Oh,” Jongin exclaims. “Is that true? We should find it together then!”
Kyungsoo nods, his eyes still closed, but a little smile is now spreading over his lips.
“The mermaids will be very jealous of you,” Jongin continues. “Because you have very silky hair.”
Kyungsoo's lashes flutter against his cheekbonesand he finally looks up at Jongin again.
“But my hair is silky because my mom brushes it everyday. It won't be silky anymore in Neverland.”
Jongin thinks. That can be problematic, he realizes, if they leave Kyungsoo's silky hair behind. It will please the mermaids,and Jongin has always liked them much better poutingand outraged.
“Then our first adventure will be to find a mom,” Jongin concludes, very proud of his finding.
“We could take mine. She will be happy to come with me.”
Jongin nods, then freezes. He hesitates while Kyungsoo throws him a questioning glance.
“Wouldn't it be too easy for an adventure?” Jongin finally asks.
Kyungsoo bites his lips. Of course it would be. He is being very sick right now,and the mere idea of getting out of his bed is exhausting, but he knows that it won't be the same in Neverland. He would be very disappointed if his first adventure lasted a few minutes only, without even a good sword fight.
“Oh,” he says, struck by a sudden idea that, because Kyungsoo is a child, a bit wildand out of time, immediately turns into a story. And what a good story. “It won't be too easy, because Captain Hook will try to steal our mom.”
Jongin scrunches up his nose in disgust. “Always so jealous, those pirates.”
“But we'll win, won't we, Jongin?”
“Of course we will. And then I'll give you my first kiss.”
Kyungsoo sighs, delighted. He squirms in his bed,and lets the thick blanket take him deeper into warmth.
“I can't wait,” he mumbles, his eyelids falling down again.
“Me too,” Jongin agrees.
He puts his head against the windowand watches over Kyungsoo as the latter falls asleep. The Moon watches over them both, as tenderand loving as she has ever been with Jongin. She likes seeing him holding hands with Kyungsoo, through the window, without even holding hands. Isn't it magical, she muses, how children can jump over boundaries without even realizing it? She has lost count of how many times she has woken up only to find a child that had jumped so high he had landed on her. Those had always been her favorites to watch over.
“Did you mean it? When you said Neverland was never cold?” Kyungsoo asks.
His voice is now so weak it wouldn't go past the window, if the window mattered. Jongin still sitting on the window ledge, legs dangling off the edgeand fingers playing with the rain, hears it perfectly well. He smiles at a tiny rain drop that slides along his palm line,and looks at Kyungsoo over his shoulder.
“Of course,” he says. “I banished Cold.”
Kyungsoo blinks, thoughtful. Tonight, he's sitting in his bed, or almost sitting, because there are so many pillows under his head that his body is almost bent in two. It doesn't bother him, because it feels like falling slowly into a thick layer of clouds. It's good practice, he thinks, because when he'll fly to Neverland with Jongin, he'll probably have to go through a lot of clouds.
“I think it came here,” Kyungsoo sighs.
He coughs a few time,and an endless shiver runs up his spine. He would grab his swordand fight it back, but his mother didn't allow him to take it to bed this time. She has been moreand more difficult those past few days, even wanting to force Kyungsoo to sleep with her, but Kyungsoo fought with his mental sword as hard as he could. He caught his mother starring at his window a few times, with eyes that weren't totally hers. She remembered spring cleaning time,and the Lost Boys,and maybe she was even able to draw the outline of Jongin's silhouette in her mind. It is rather sad, Kyungsoo thinks, that she would remember it all as being behind the window. If she had put it on the other side, surely, she would have remembered how to fly.
“Why,” Jongin frowns at him. “Are you cold?”
Kyungsoo nods.
“I am not though,” Jongin says. He beams at Kyungsoo, hoping on his feet. “Open the window,and I'll warm you!”
What a brilliant idea! Tao looks like he would even accept to fly above Kyungsoo's head this time, but only because he felt like the idea came from him. Fairies are proud creatures,and that is their pride actually that gives them their height. Have you ever seen a fairy without any pride? Of course not, for they are so small they are invisible to the eye.
“I can't,” Kyungsoo pouts. “It's too heavyand I'm too tired. I have to stay in my bed.”
Jongin's grin widens as he leans inand presses his hands flat against the window, his eyes twinkling.
“Is it your ship? Are you a captain?” he asks, so excited that his feet leave the window ledge, pixie dust sparkling around his toes.
“Yes, but I can't go anywhere for now, because I'm too cold.”
Jongin shrugs.
“I'll warm you. And then, Tao will blow fairy dust on your ship,and we'll fly away.”
Tao tinkles, chirrupsand hops upand down. The very first flying ship in Neverland,and that would be thanks to his pixie dust! You would know by know, how delighted the little fairy is at the mere idea,and Jongin couldn't argue this time-although argue with Tao was one of his favorite things to do. He can picture it all so well, to the extent actually that it almost becomes real before it actually happens. What a beautiful sight it would be, a flying ship ripping through the air, Kyungsoo as the captain, Jongin as the captain of the captain,and Tao as the figurehead.
To that last train of thoughts, Tao glares at himand pinches his arm. He is no figurehead, please, the mermaid carved in wood on the pirate ship is far less delightful that Tao is. No, he insists, sticking out his tongue at Jongin, someone like him, he is bound to be, at least, the captain under the captain. Jongin bites his inner cheek,and looks up at Kyungsoo, questioning.
“Okay,” Kyungsoo shrugs. “He is a fairy after all,and it should be important that he keeps being a fairy.”
Exactly, Tao nods, delighted, before he freezes, shocked. If only he could rememberand act at the same time! He would have recalled quite easily that he swore he wouldn't ever agree with Kyungsoo. Fairies like arguingand fights if they are the source of them,and you would do too if you were that smalland wanting to take more space in the world.
“So, first, I warm you up!” Jongin singsongs.
Kyungsoo doesn't answer, for he is too tired to open his mouth,and because he has a coughing fit stuck in the back of his throat,and he wants to take it prisoner so he can find the Coughing Fit King. When he'll be a captain, he'll find himand banish him, just like Jongin banished Cold.
Jongin, who doesn't need answers because Neverland is in Kyungsoo's mind,and Jongin is in Neverland -or is it the opposite?- has already tackled the task. He jumps off the window ledge, but doesn't fall, since his feet lands on pure moonlight,and the Moon loves him way too much to let him trip over. She wraps her arms around himand pulls him up by a little, so that he towers over Kyungsoo's window. The latter watches him with a smileand pleasure in his eyes as Jongin's shadow stretch under his soles. It is time to wake up, Tao chirps at the shadow as he flies all around it.
The shadow unfoldsand dangles off Jongin's feet, but as the Moon holds the latter a bit higher, the shadow slides on Kyungsoo's window. Of course, it effortlessly slips through itand lands softly next to Kyungsoo, spread-eagle on the bed. Kyungsoo gigglesand pokes at the shadow's head. Jongin chuckles,and the sound flies away in the night before visiting a few dreams hereand there.
“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says with a pleased smile. He grabs the shadowand pulls it up until he can hug it to his chest. The shadow huddles closer, limbs stretched on the side so it can cover Kyungsoo. It's already much less cold.
What a pleasant night it turns out to be, even for Kyungsoo's mom, whose dreams keep being interrupted by a certain little boy's peals of laughter. If she was awake, she would rush to Kyungsoo's roomand pour light on his bed, put bars on his windowand even close the shutter, but she had been so insistent on being a grownup during the day, the most worried of them, that she couldn't stop herself from remembering her childhood through her dreams. Jongin's melodious laugh as he curls in thin air, between the Moon's arms but also against Kyungsoo's side, even tells her that maybe, maybe, the window is to be opened soon. Because she is more a child than an adult at the moment, she thinks that it is fine. It's probably spring cleaning time in the tree house anyway.
And spring cleaning time it is.
“I don't understand,” Minseok cries out. “I wanna keep my bed! It's mine!”
“Don't you know?” Jongdae cackles. “Bunnies sleep in holes, not in beds.”
Minseok's usual pink nose flashes red at Jongdae as he throws a handful of dust at the fox boy. The latter is already galloping all around the tree house,and he finally finds solace in Jongin's corner. He jumps straight into the hammock, bounces on it but manages to avoid the fall as he clenches his fingers around the fabric. Jongin's pillowsand blankets don't have the same luck though,and they're sent flying above the Lost Boys' heads. Junmyeon screeches when the thickest blanket engulf him.
There's a second of silence that knocks on the doorand takes over the tree house when Jongin puts his fists on his waistand look at the Lost Boys with furrowed eyebrows. Even Jongdae, who was buried deep in the hammock, feels the glare,and he knows better than to joke about it. He blinks up at Jongin, his fox hood falling over his forehead.
“I don't understand,” Minseok says again. Big tears are glistening in his eyes, but he won't cry, because Lost Boys don't cry. Playing is really all they do. “Why should I give up my bed?”
“Because,” Jongin says. “We could need a spare bed.”
Minseok sniffs, but the distressed look on his face fades away as he glares at a cackling Jongdae.
“Are we going to have someone over?” Junmyeon asks, now seated on the ground,and the blanket draped around himself like a king's robe.
His lion mane somehow matches his tone, for reasons that are completely unknown to Jongin. He doesn't like it, not knowing things Junmyeon, with his straightand noble posture, could know, so he decides that it's because Junmyeon's words, just like his mane, are incredibly hairy.
“Maybe,” Jongin shrugs. “So you better sweep the floor, there are hairs everywhere!”
Junmyeon flushes, embarrassed. What a terrible lion he is! Not sweeping after he moves? What an idea!
“Is it Kyungsoo?”
Jongin turns to face a shy but thoughtful Sehun, now sitting on Jongdae's back. He's holding the latter's ears so he does not fall,and slightly rocks backand forth to make the hammock swing.
“Is Kyungsoo finally lost?” Sehun asks again.
Kyungsoo. Jongin smiles,and what a beautiful smile. If he had been a boy of the other world, no doubt that a handful of new fairies would have been born. Tao would not have liked the competition for sure, but it would have been even funnier.
“We could need a spare bed,” Jongin says, because, really, it's just about the spare bed.
It is of the utmost importanceand Neverland probably agrees with him, because the tree house has stretched a bit. The corners are larger, it is very obvious, because both Minseokand Junmyeon are now sitting in the far left one when, yesterday, not even Minseok's bunny ears would fit.
“Chanyeol,” Jongin says to the bear boy. “Go sit next to Minseokand Junmyeon.”
Chanyeol grumbles as he grudgingly stands upand walks to Minseokand Junmyeon. He could argue Jongin's orders, because all he really wants to do right is sleeping, but arguing is a very adult thing to do. The Lost Boys are far better at sulking the day away,and oh, Jongin just has to wait, Chanyeol muses. Because he will definitely sulk.
“It's too small,” Chanyeol groans. “I can't sit there.”
Jongin sighs,and Neverland shares the annoyance.
“Then push the wall!” he says, rolling his eyes.
More sulking, Chanyeol decides, definitely more sulking. He would even sulk for a whole week, if he only knew what a week is.
He puts his sleeve-covered hands on the walland pushes a bit, until there's enough room for him to sit downand not step on Junmyeon's tail-who is very severe when it comes to his tail. Jongin watches him take placeand adjust the too large hood over his dark hair, thoughtful. He looks around the house, at Junmyeon, Minseokand Chanyeol sitting in the corner, now so large it's actually a room, at Jongdaeand Sehun muffling their chuckles into their hoods as they swing on the hammockand at Baekhyun who pokes at their butt from under said hammock.
Upon feeling Jongin's gaze on him, Baekhyun raises his head so fast his raccoon hood falls on his shoulders.
“There!” he shouts, pointing at something behind Jongin. “A spare bed!”
Jongin turns over,and is delighted to see that a spare bed is indeed filling an other very large corner. Minseok claps, very pleased that he won't have to give up his bed to anyone, even Kyungsoo,and Junmyeon keeps picking up his mane hairs from the floor. Chanyeol sulks.
“It is time now,” one of Neverland's borders whispers into Jongin's ear.
It wouldn't know, because it's bound to stay around Neverland after all, but it heard it from a star, the second to the right,and it was prompt to comeand tell it to Jongin. The latter nods,and as he turns away, he is greeted by the sight of Tao dragging Jongin's panpipes, wings beating furiously as he tries to stay up in the air.
It is time, indeed.
When Jongin reaches the house, he doesn't even spare a glance at the doghouse. His eyes are glued to the window as he holds his panpipes against his chest, afraid that the wind would blow into them before him. He likes first notes much more than second ones,and he wants to offer the very first note of the day to Kyungsoo. As he carries it to the latter's room, he hears the birds around him. " It's Jongin, it's Jongin" they whisper,and the cucko goes: who who who who?. But, as the sparrow slowly shakes its headand says " Jonginand his panpipes", the neighborhood falls into utter silence. There are no handshakes, but the owl stops hunting,and the mouse stop being hunted,and together, they huddle together under a bush. Neverland rarely barges into their world, but when it does, they all know what it means. Neverland takes away dreamers.
Jongin flies a little higher than Kyungsoo's window, then plops down, softly, on the window ledge, cross-legged.
"Hi Kyungsoo," he says with a fond smile.
Kyungsoo doesn't open his eyes. He is tired, so tired. He smiles, though, a tiny curve hung up on the corner of his lips which makes Jongin smiles. He doesn't like picking up berries, because they get crushed between his fingers, but something tells him he will like picking up Kyungsoo's smiles a lot.
"Hi Jongin..."
Kyungsoo's voice trails off,and he lets out a shaky, little sigh.
"You were right," he manages to mumble. "A spare bed can always be useful."
Jongin grins, delighted. "It can," he approves. "I heard our mom say it."
"Our mom," Kyungsoo repeats.
"I know. She is making you soup."
Kyungsoo smiles,and Jongin picks it up. He examines it for a bit, strokes its backand giggle at how softand warm it is, but finally shoves it deep in his pocket. Tao has pushed the forgotten panpipes towards him,and Jongin can feel the first note itching to get out. It's tinkling Jongin's foot, impatient.
Jongin grabs his instrumentand brings it up to his lips. The notes inside jostle, elbowing each others, all waiting to be spilled out. Kyungsoo opens an eye, but he closes it right away. It doesn't really matter, because he can actually see through his eyelids. He sees Jongin's cheeks swelling as he breathes in, he sees Tao's tiny face pressed against his window,and he sees the Moon, her smile so fondand motherly, watching over him. He remembers waking up up there once before,and how she laughed at his surprised eyes before wrapping him in his armsand putting him back to sleep.
"Oh little boy," she then said. "Don't be so hasty, I'll comeand get you when it will be our time to play."
Surely, Kyungsoo thinks, that time is very close now. He wants to ask Jongin if he knows --because Jonginand the Moon somehow have the same smile so they probably share their secrets- but before he can gather the strength to open his mouth, Jongin starts playing.
Jongin doesn't play to end the day, for he has no sense of closure after all, but the day does end because he plays.
The mouseand the owl exchange a look, stifle a yawnand say goodnight to each other. There will be plenty of time for eatingand being eaten tomorrow, but for now, it seems that time has run out. The first note jumps out of Jongin's panpipes with a pleased -and pleasing- tinkling,and soon enough, her brothersand sisters follow. Jongin watches them hold hand around him as they whirl around,and catch the most audacious ones tiptoeing into a few houses. Oh, don't worry, they will not wake up anyone, it is actually quite the opposite as they will enter dreamsand make them longer,and more beautiful than ever.
Pay attention, if they happen to jump into your dreams,and listen to them carefully, for they will tell you a good story that, to this day, only Jongin knows. It begins with blackand white, then meets violet,and ends with blue. If you watched the stars enough, hence knowing their language, then you would hear in the notes's incessant giggling that the ending is actually more of a beginning. A beginning which sounds more like a middle,and a middle which in fact is Neverland, but that is another story. And that story would require very different words.
Jongin watches the black lashes as he plays, the violet wings, the stains of blue. He can see those colors spread on his spare bed so well, just like he can see blackand white hoping around in a silky polecat skin. There's something hung up on the corner of Kyungsoo's lips that he can't wait to pick up,and something tickling his own lips that he can't wait to give.
Jongin's eyes turn to soft crescents as he smilesand gives his final note more air that it needed. It comes out a bit louder,and it echoes through the night, vibrates until it is completely silent. Kyungsoo, wildand completely out of time, probably listens to it even after it has disappeared, because as a Lost Boy, he wouldn't care about borders, even less than before.
Downstairs, Kyungsoo's mom stops stirring the chicken soup, stops worryingand sniffing as she raises her headand freezes. As a child, she would have heard the ending turning into a beginning, but as grownup, she only feels time leaving her house. She could beg, drop to her kneesand ask for a few more minutes, a few more hours, but fortunately, she is a mother,and mother are the less grownup of all the grownups. Instead, she puts her utensil away, with much care,and wipes her hands on her apron.
It is just as slowly that she climbs the stairsand walks to Kyungsoo's door. If she knew how to speak the language of stars, she would have heard one of them say Careful Jongin!. Dictionaries stole her the ability to phrase it properly, but deep down she knows that there are treasures that belong to childhood only.
When she opens the door, Jongin is pressed flat against the brick wall, just above Kyungsoo's window. Don't tilt your headand squint your eyesJongin silently begs, because his right toes are peeking out, too curious to accept to be hidden away. Fortunately, Kyungsoo's mother doesn't, for she only has eyes for her son, her little boy.
Jongin presses his index finger against his lips to gesture Tao to stay silent. The latter nods, not after raising a judging eyebrow though. He knows, of course. This is definitely not his first time in the other world after all.
Being a little boy, Jongin lacks the words that could describe what he hears in Kyungsoo's room, but when he'll tell the story to the Lost Boys later, he will probably say it was like blowing out a fireand still trying to warm yourself with it. What an odd idea, he thinks, who would try to warm their hands in front of a cold fire? Curious, Jongin doesn't resist the need to take a peek, despite Tao's horrified eyes as he tries to hold him back by his collar.
Kyungsoo's white, black, violetand blue has disappeared under the darkness of Kyungsoo's mom's hair as she holds her boy against her, her boy who has always been Kyungsooand who will always be. She is crying, Jongin realizes,and he cannot fathom why. Doesn't she understand that Kyungsoo isn't really lost, because Jongin always finds the lost treasures, always.
Kyungsoo's mom must have remembered it, suddenly, because she looks up,and meets Jongin's eyes. Does she see him? How would Jongin know, since he isn't in her head because Neverland isn't, but she holds his gaze, eyes rimmed with red. Maybe she wants to call Jongin names, but there is something in her eyes that stops her. Instead, she stands upand reaches out. She opens the window.
Jongin smiles,and during a fleeting second, she smiles back. The next minute, Jongin is flying away, his panpipes in a hand,and red, violet, blue, blackand white in the other. Who who who whothe cuckoo says. Jonginand Kyungsoothe sparrow singsongs.
It is all rather sad, but you would agree that it also is magnificent.
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