challenge #2
jantocam challenge #2
Title: Accepting the past
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jack / Ianto, Ianto / Lisa
Summary: Each year there is service to remember those lost at the Battle of Canary Wharf, this is a brief look at how Ianto feels on the anniversary of that day. Mild tissue warning.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Ianto or any of Torchwood. I am not making any profit from this story.
A/N I'm not quite happy about this, but wanted to post it and I've run out of time to fiddle about with it.
The first year Ianto chose not to go to the memorial. As he watched Jack leave he let out a sigh of relief. He had no desire to remember the day that could have easily killed him, nearly killed Lisa, did kill over 400 of their colleagues and friends.
If Jack had pushed he might have had to go, to maintain appearances. He was glad that that hadn’t been necessary. Attendance would have meant the drive to London with Jack and then a day with the other 22 survivors and the families of those lost. He wasn’t sure he would be able to survive that, not and maintain his mask.
Yes, he lost people at Canary Wharf, but he had managed to save Lisa. She might be sick but with time he would be able to heal her, they would still get their white picket fence dreams. Even if they had to be modified because of her illness.
Some days at work he struggled not to shout from the lift that he had saved the most important person in his life, saved her from hell. On the bad days he would use the knowledge as a mantra, it kept him going. After the nightmares he would lie in bed and plan their future. Torchwood Three was temporary; as soon as Lisa was healthy they would move on. Sometimes he would visit her just to discuss the houses that he had seen advertised in the paper.
He hid the truth from Jack who assumed that he did not want the physical reminders and left him be. The Captain was well aware that different people handled loss and trauma in different ways. So long as Ianto showed no signs of cracking his boss was reluctant to interfere.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A year later and Jack was MIA. Again Ianto chose not to attend the memorial for the battle of Canary Wharf. He would be quite happy to never return to London. Tosh went to represent Torchwood and Ianto worked. It was a quiet day so he left at four, ignoring the looks exchanged by Gwen and Owen. The first bottle of wine was gone by half six and he chose to have his Chinese delivered. Lisa had loved the little fortune cookies.
‘Things will look better in the morning.’ He snorted and threw the strip of paper away. Of course they bloody would, that didn’t help now though. He left the food on the table and went to get his whiskey; he wanted the warmth from the drink. He settled on the couch with their photo album, his whiskey and a blanket.
As he flicked through the pages of photos and captions the tears finally started. It had been his idea to do this and whether it was with a camera or his phone he made sure to take plenty of photographs of Lisa and of them together. At first she had laughed at him, but later she got more involved. Neither of them had ever said it but there was an understanding that if they had children this would be nice to show them. Ianto knew now that that future would never come to pass, but the album gave him the chance to see her smile, read what she had written and remember.
The album ended with the pictures from their one year anniversary. They had just gone for a quiet meal out. Lisa had been busy at work and she was too tired to think about doing something big. They were both smiling so much, it was just two years and two weeks ago but so much had changed. He had changed.
He supposed it was habit that made him turn the page again. He could easily have missed it. On the next page, the blank page, was her handwriting.
“I think I love you Mr Jones, I can certainly see spending my life with you. So we should work on finishing this album.”
His gentle tears turned to sobs as he carefully placed the album away. She had loved him, or near as damn it and he had lost her.
That night was harder than even the night after the battle. All of his hopes of still having a future with his girlfriend had been dashed when she had gone feral and needed to be killed. A part of him had ‘known’ it would not work, but it hadn’t been able to imprison his hope.
The only silver lining was that at least he hadn’t had to be in London, and if Tosh hadn’t volunteered...
By 7am, he was not pissed and able to take a bath. He also wasn’t sober and he would blame that for the moment when he had considered staying under the water. It was more comforting than blaming his reaction to Lisa’s death and Canary Wharf.
He was in work at 8 and nobody saw the need to mention the bags under his eyes and his quieter than usual mood.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack was back before he had to make the decision again. They had been on that date and talked. He hoped Jack was telling the truth when he said that he wouldn’t leave again; he was learning to lean on the man more. When he was asked if he was going to the memorial, he just nodded. Jack didn’t ask if he was sure, instead he gave him a brief hug and a smile and left him to the coffee machine and his own emotions.
The drive to London was passed by singing to the radio as they both enjoyed the breather from Cardiff and Torchwood Three. Once in London Ianto parked and they walked until Jack saw a florist. Jack pointed it out and Ianto volunteered to get coffee and meet him at the nearby fountain. It was a bit late now to start bringing flowers to his ghosts.
The queue was massive and he was not surprised to find Jack already at the fountain. What surprised him was the serious expression on his face as he stared at the single red rose in his hand.
Ianto had always assumed that Jack’s choice of flowers would respect his personality, large, colourful bouquets maybe. Yet somehow he looked right holding the single, yellow rose.
“Penny for them?”
His lover startled and looked up at him. “Ready?”
They started walking across Tower Bridge and halfway across Jack started to talk about the girl that the rose was for. A young woman who had managed to travel with the Doctor and Jack and keep her sanity. Finally Jack fell silent.
“Is she? Did she?” Ianto tried again. “I know the Doctor was there, at the battle.”
“She was lost, trapped in another universe, unreachable.”
Ianto slipped an arm around Jack, for comfort and support.
“I’m sorry.”
They finished their walk in silence, taking solace in each other’s company.
Title: Accepting the past
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Jack / Ianto, Ianto / Lisa
Summary: Each year there is service to remember those lost at the Battle of Canary Wharf, this is a brief look at how Ianto feels on the anniversary of that day. Mild tissue warning.
Disclaimer: I don't own Jack, Ianto or any of Torchwood. I am not making any profit from this story.
A/N I'm not quite happy about this, but wanted to post it and I've run out of time to fiddle about with it.
The first year Ianto chose not to go to the memorial. As he watched Jack leave he let out a sigh of relief. He had no desire to remember the day that could have easily killed him, nearly killed Lisa, did kill over 400 of their colleagues and friends.
If Jack had pushed he might have had to go, to maintain appearances. He was glad that that hadn’t been necessary. Attendance would have meant the drive to London with Jack and then a day with the other 22 survivors and the families of those lost. He wasn’t sure he would be able to survive that, not and maintain his mask.
Yes, he lost people at Canary Wharf, but he had managed to save Lisa. She might be sick but with time he would be able to heal her, they would still get their white picket fence dreams. Even if they had to be modified because of her illness.
Some days at work he struggled not to shout from the lift that he had saved the most important person in his life, saved her from hell. On the bad days he would use the knowledge as a mantra, it kept him going. After the nightmares he would lie in bed and plan their future. Torchwood Three was temporary; as soon as Lisa was healthy they would move on. Sometimes he would visit her just to discuss the houses that he had seen advertised in the paper.
He hid the truth from Jack who assumed that he did not want the physical reminders and left him be. The Captain was well aware that different people handled loss and trauma in different ways. So long as Ianto showed no signs of cracking his boss was reluctant to interfere.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A year later and Jack was MIA. Again Ianto chose not to attend the memorial for the battle of Canary Wharf. He would be quite happy to never return to London. Tosh went to represent Torchwood and Ianto worked. It was a quiet day so he left at four, ignoring the looks exchanged by Gwen and Owen. The first bottle of wine was gone by half six and he chose to have his Chinese delivered. Lisa had loved the little fortune cookies.
‘Things will look better in the morning.’ He snorted and threw the strip of paper away. Of course they bloody would, that didn’t help now though. He left the food on the table and went to get his whiskey; he wanted the warmth from the drink. He settled on the couch with their photo album, his whiskey and a blanket.
As he flicked through the pages of photos and captions the tears finally started. It had been his idea to do this and whether it was with a camera or his phone he made sure to take plenty of photographs of Lisa and of them together. At first she had laughed at him, but later she got more involved. Neither of them had ever said it but there was an understanding that if they had children this would be nice to show them. Ianto knew now that that future would never come to pass, but the album gave him the chance to see her smile, read what she had written and remember.
The album ended with the pictures from their one year anniversary. They had just gone for a quiet meal out. Lisa had been busy at work and she was too tired to think about doing something big. They were both smiling so much, it was just two years and two weeks ago but so much had changed. He had changed.
He supposed it was habit that made him turn the page again. He could easily have missed it. On the next page, the blank page, was her handwriting.
“I think I love you Mr Jones, I can certainly see spending my life with you. So we should work on finishing this album.”
His gentle tears turned to sobs as he carefully placed the album away. She had loved him, or near as damn it and he had lost her.
That night was harder than even the night after the battle. All of his hopes of still having a future with his girlfriend had been dashed when she had gone feral and needed to be killed. A part of him had ‘known’ it would not work, but it hadn’t been able to imprison his hope.
The only silver lining was that at least he hadn’t had to be in London, and if Tosh hadn’t volunteered...
By 7am, he was not pissed and able to take a bath. He also wasn’t sober and he would blame that for the moment when he had considered staying under the water. It was more comforting than blaming his reaction to Lisa’s death and Canary Wharf.
He was in work at 8 and nobody saw the need to mention the bags under his eyes and his quieter than usual mood.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jack was back before he had to make the decision again. They had been on that date and talked. He hoped Jack was telling the truth when he said that he wouldn’t leave again; he was learning to lean on the man more. When he was asked if he was going to the memorial, he just nodded. Jack didn’t ask if he was sure, instead he gave him a brief hug and a smile and left him to the coffee machine and his own emotions.
The drive to London was passed by singing to the radio as they both enjoyed the breather from Cardiff and Torchwood Three. Once in London Ianto parked and they walked until Jack saw a florist. Jack pointed it out and Ianto volunteered to get coffee and meet him at the nearby fountain. It was a bit late now to start bringing flowers to his ghosts.
The queue was massive and he was not surprised to find Jack already at the fountain. What surprised him was the serious expression on his face as he stared at the single red rose in his hand.
Ianto had always assumed that Jack’s choice of flowers would respect his personality, large, colourful bouquets maybe. Yet somehow he looked right holding the single, yellow rose.
“Penny for them?”
His lover startled and looked up at him. “Ready?”
They started walking across Tower Bridge and halfway across Jack started to talk about the girl that the rose was for. A young woman who had managed to travel with the Doctor and Jack and keep her sanity. Finally Jack fell silent.
“Is she? Did she?” Ianto tried again. “I know the Doctor was there, at the battle.”
“She was lost, trapped in another universe, unreachable.”
Ianto slipped an arm around Jack, for comfort and support.
“I’m sorry.”
They finished their walk in silence, taking solace in each other’s company.