Reason Number 4353 Nick Burns Is My BFF
You'll probably find this offensive...but I don't care!
Nick says:
dude, i joined the mideviel society
Janice says:
hahaha shut up
Nick says:
no seriously
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
im Douchepants McBottomsex, son of Doucheshirt McFrontsex
Janice says:
LOL you're such a fag
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
we own a blacksmith shop, but dabble in the dark arts behind the scenes
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
its taken me two fortnights to arrive in this location they call columbus, ohio
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
there are many dark skinned people asking for money, dark elves i presume
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they're always looking for a free handout
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they lack the traditional bow and arrow elves are associated with, and carry instead a most curious instrument
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it seems to be a cannon which can be held in the hand, most peculiar
Janice says:
lol i fucking hate you
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they request my goods, but when i present them with pelts and spices they slap me over the head with this strange metal instrument and then run away
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it seems to be some sort of paper they fancy, though i have yet to come across such an artifact
Janice says:
Have you any coin to give?
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
i have coin, but not much to spare
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they never ask for coin, presumebly because they have enough judgeing by the large amouns they wear around their neck
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
im curious as to why they do not trade in said coin for a pair of tighter fitting slacks
Janice says:
I've heard the town crier speak of this. "And we well know them by their bling"
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
and so we shall
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
and how they ride a strange cart with enourmous wheels, which produces a thumping sound and jumps up and down on command
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
i can only assume it is some magical beast native to these lands
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
or else some sort of dark sourcery unheard of in my home
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
the mead of which they consume is strange as well
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
this so called "king cobra" has an odd taste, similar however to the mead consumed by the peasents back home
Janice says:
LOL OMG
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
you can only purchase it in large quantities, and apparently there is a ritual of which we must drink it outside
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
almost always on the steps of the head of the home
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
the yelling at of women commences as one partakes in this activity, and the local authoritys are frequently summoned
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
this is, as far as i can tell, the most popular of activities that the dark elves in this land partake in
Janice says:
LOL do you ever stop?
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it seems to me that none of them partake in any trade, and where they aquire their wages from is still a mystery
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
although i have noticed a patter where food and such is purchased with a special flat object of an unknown substance
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
the front reads "EBT" although i have yet to find out what this stands for
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it could be the mark of the king that rules over these lands, but i cannot be ceratin
Janice says:
LOL OH GOD
Janice says:
you're fucking ridiculous
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
mideviel racism rules
Nick says:
dude, i joined the mideviel society
Janice says:
hahaha shut up
Nick says:
no seriously
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
im Douchepants McBottomsex, son of Doucheshirt McFrontsex
Janice says:
LOL you're such a fag
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
we own a blacksmith shop, but dabble in the dark arts behind the scenes
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
its taken me two fortnights to arrive in this location they call columbus, ohio
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
there are many dark skinned people asking for money, dark elves i presume
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they're always looking for a free handout
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they lack the traditional bow and arrow elves are associated with, and carry instead a most curious instrument
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it seems to be a cannon which can be held in the hand, most peculiar
Janice says:
lol i fucking hate you
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they request my goods, but when i present them with pelts and spices they slap me over the head with this strange metal instrument and then run away
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it seems to be some sort of paper they fancy, though i have yet to come across such an artifact
Janice says:
Have you any coin to give?
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
i have coin, but not much to spare
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
they never ask for coin, presumebly because they have enough judgeing by the large amouns they wear around their neck
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
im curious as to why they do not trade in said coin for a pair of tighter fitting slacks
Janice says:
I've heard the town crier speak of this. "And we well know them by their bling"
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
and so we shall
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
and how they ride a strange cart with enourmous wheels, which produces a thumping sound and jumps up and down on command
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
i can only assume it is some magical beast native to these lands
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
or else some sort of dark sourcery unheard of in my home
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
the mead of which they consume is strange as well
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
this so called "king cobra" has an odd taste, similar however to the mead consumed by the peasents back home
Janice says:
LOL OMG
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
you can only purchase it in large quantities, and apparently there is a ritual of which we must drink it outside
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
almost always on the steps of the head of the home
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
the yelling at of women commences as one partakes in this activity, and the local authoritys are frequently summoned
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
this is, as far as i can tell, the most popular of activities that the dark elves in this land partake in
Janice says:
LOL do you ever stop?
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it seems to me that none of them partake in any trade, and where they aquire their wages from is still a mystery
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
although i have noticed a patter where food and such is purchased with a special flat object of an unknown substance
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
the front reads "EBT" although i have yet to find out what this stands for
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
it could be the mark of the king that rules over these lands, but i cannot be ceratin
Janice says:
LOL OH GOD
Janice says:
you're fucking ridiculous
Douchepants McBottomsex says:
mideviel racism rules