sloppy joes - the Janell way.

Mar 05, 2010 23:56

I don't like sloppy joes. Never have. But, while I was thinking about dinner, I realized we have everything to make homemade sloppy joes. And let me tell you... I LOVE THEM. Homemade is far superior to Manwich.

Now, arriving at this juncture took some hopscotching, so now I'd like to introduce you to a segment I call Cooking with Janny... or something like that.

First, select your meat. I used a pound of Jimmy Dean's mild sage sausage. Defrost entirely, and brown it according to package instructions.
While browning, begin arranging your other ingredients.
Forget about your meat until it begins to smell burnt, run over to flip it over, and discover it's become one large, skillet-sized patty of very, very browned meat and raw on the other side. (Flip it over and proceed to use your wooden spoon to hack it into a million chunky pieces.) Add a can of corn (drained).

Next, select a medium sized bowl - I used a cereal bowl, but you can use any type you want - and into that, dump what is left of your bottle of chili sauce that has been in the fridge for about 6 months. (It was a little less than half full.) While shaking the bottle to get ALL of it out, smack yourself in the chin, swear, and throw the bottle violently into the recycle bin.

Squirt roughly the same amount of ketchup into the bowl as well, ignoring your husbands dirty looks for the squelching fart noises coming from the "no drip" seal (that is clearly BS, because the thing drips like nuts). Throw the bottle away when it's pristinely emptied. Make sure you repeat several times how stupid your husband is being for snickering at the "fart noises". Defend your honor how you see fit.

Stir. Add half to three-quarters of a cup of your favorite salsa, stir again.

Pour this into your pan with your now fully browned sausage. Stir. Realize this isn't enough sauce to go with your meat and corn concoction, hunt for something else tomato based.

Find a can of tomato soup, pour it back in your cereal bowl, and add more salsa until it tastes more like sloppy joe sauce than tomato soup. Add this to your sloppy joe meat and the prior sauce attempt, stirring well. Taste-test, burn your mouth, swear some more.

Now announce that "fracking dinner is DONE." and serve.

Enjoy.
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