Bluffing the Way Out(1/1)
Title: Bluffing the Way Out
Author: janna_hawkins
Beta: danaems
Character/Pairing: Ninth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Captain Jack Harkness
Rating: G
Summary: It takes a master to bluff his way out of anything. That and some handy psychic paper.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Doctor Who except my psychic paper, sonic screwdriver and sonic pen :)
Author's Notes: Written on prompt 2, "All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure." Mark Twain, for the second round of the storm_and_wolf Nine/Rose Ficathon.
"So, Doctor, how do you suggest we get out of this?" Rose Tyler asked cheerfully.
The Doctor glanced at the pitchfork-carrying crowd approaching and frowned. "Try to bluff our way out?"
"Again?" Jack asked, rolling his eyes. "We tried that last time, and they almost tarred and feathered us!"
"I agree. We need to try something else today. Any other ideas, Doctor?"
"Well, actually..." he trailed off as the crowd surrounded them.
The one who seemed to be the leader stepped forward. "Infidels, you have trespassed on the sacred ground of Wannahockaloogie."
Here, the Doctor had to nudge Rose in the side to keep her from laughing.
The alien continued after sparing her a furious glance. "You must all be sacrificed to the Tunnel Lord. Hand over your weapons."
"What weapons? We're unarmed," Rose replied with a grin.
The chief seemed taken aback by this. "Then...you must follow us to th-"
"Was planning to all along, really."
"I...you are required to cast off your clothing in preparation for-"
"Great! Let's get started," Jack said happily, unbuttoning his jacket. "I love this part!"
The leader pulled at his hair in frustration. "The prisoners will be..."
"Silent? Really, how cliché is that? Maybe you should try to cut down on the melodrama? Or even better, you could just let us leave and go home to practice your spiel. It definitely needs work, wouldn't you say, Jack?"
"Oh, yeah. He's going way too overboard on the drama."
The chief stamped his foot and grabbed a pitchfork from one of the other people. "Silence!"
Jack and Rose eyed the weapon pointed at them and frowned.
"Not working like it should," Rose whispered.
The Doctor sighed and pulled out his psychic paper. "Amateurs. Oi, Cheify, take a look at this, will you?"
The leader gingerly took the paper and after glancing at it fell onto his face before the Time Lord, the others quickly following suit. "Oh, Master Tunnel Lord! We, your humble servants beg your forgiveness for this terrible misunderstanding."
"No problem! Just try and make friends with the next people to come along instead of sacrificing them to me immediately. Don't really like getting unexpected visitors anyway much less freshly sacrificed ones."
"As you decree, oh Master. Shall we destroy the two irreverent infidels that accompanied you?"
The Doctor turned to look at Rose and Jack for a few moments before shaking his head. "Nah, they're amusing. My pet jesters, you see."
"Of course, my lord. Fare thee well on your journey."
"Why, thank you. And, ah, blessings on you and your village. C'mon, you two."
As the three of them walked away from the still bowing villagers, the Time Lord smirked at his fuming companions. "You see, you two, it takes a master to bluff his way out of anything. That and some handy psychic paper."
Rose just raised a fist and punched it into her other hand, keeping eye contact the entire time.
The Doctor shut up.