Dean's twelfth birthday

[janissa11]

Another installment in the post-Haystack lil-Dean birthday stories. Twelve! Almost a teenager. Gack. *laughs* And my love and deepest thanks to innie_darling for brainstorming, fine-tuning, and hand-holding on this and another upcoming Haystack-related story. If I were a cat, I'd be rubbing against your shins in adoration, my dear. For reals

Comments

[mellaithwen]

Practicing shooting, with a gun that Sam hasn’t used in years, put aside because it was always one of Dean’s favorites, the old Dean, the grownup, older-brother Dean.

and once again I have to go re-read haystack because of the awesomeness *sigh*

[janissa11]

*HUGS* Aw man, thank you!

[mellaithwen]

yeah so you know Under the Haystack? still made me cry. god damn it

anyhoo, my first comment was a sucky review so let me go again:

I love that Dean taught himself--because it's there somewhere I mean, older Dean...and he's destined to know, which is kind of a relief since if 27 year old Dean is so much different Sam might be disappointed :S and also ties in with what we hear in No Exit about proud John seeing his son shoot and hello; LEATHER aww yeah :D

[janissa11]

That's exactly it, yes. You can't escape fate. *nod* Thank you!!

[eloise_bright]

You broke me. I knew something was up, in the car, Dean was so quiet, and Sam was all "YAY, Dean's had a great day" and I knew Dean was planning something.

This Dean holds the weapon like he remembers. And the cold barb in Sam’s chest is not in any way due to the outdoor temperature.

That just hurts. Dean wants this, wants to help Sam, and no matter how much Sam tries to protect him, Dean is his father's son. He can't not do it. The hug at the end - so very painful and beautiful and I wanted to hug them both because they're both so broken by the life forced upon them. And Dean still desperate for approval - if he can't have Dad's, he'll take Sam's.

And Sam, giving in to Dean. *flails*

You do realize birthdays are supposed to be joyous occasions?

Fantastic work.

[janissa11]

*HUGS* Yeah, I really TRIED to make it a happy birthday, but I knew Dean Had A Secret. :-/ Thank you honey!

[damerel]

Nooo! What are you doing to me? *sniffles pathetically*

So we have the utter perfection of the boys' trip out, which could not have been any more awesome for either boy. And then you invert everything, with Dean's surprise, which he's been planning for *weeks*, getting the complete opposite reaction to that which he's been so jealously clutching to himself in delighted anticipation, and Sam... Oh, Sam. His horror that despite all his very best efforts, trying to give Dean what he believes Dean wants and needs, there is no battling fate. And also his sick feeling about memories he previously considered gone being perhaps only dormant...

I'm so glad it all came together (sort of) at the end, but this was still hard to read. Those boys! *squishes them hard*

Oh, and the leather jacket? Inspired as a gift, and also love the way you use it to explore Sam's feelings about Then!Dean and Now!Dean.

[janissa11]

You know what's scary? If Dean is twelve, that makes Sam twenty-eight! Almost thirty! Eeeeek! Thank you so much -- and my thanks again to Kunju, whose idea the leather jacket really was. YAY KUNJU!!

[embroiderama]

This Dean holds the weapon like he remembers. And the cold barb in Sam’s chest is not in any way due to the outdoor temperature.

Oh, wow! It's like the Dean of before, the grown-up Dean who had the childhood John gave him, is inside this new Dean, uncoiling and expanding as Dean grows, as he becomes capable of processing and using those experiences. I imagine he'll be formidable with the ladies within a couple years, yikes!. All Sam can do is try to keep up.

[janissa11]

Your icon is the exact expression I was thinking of, writing this. *grin* BINGO. *HUGS*