G'morning, barely.
Not much for today -- Sophie seems just her usual self, asleep on my pillow at the moment, so I'm going to take a tip from her and do my best to relax and not be so vigilant and hand-wringy. Thank you guys so very, very much for your kind notes to yesterday's sorta-kinda-meltdown. I'm going to reply when I get a little better hold on myself. Of all things, work was a good distraction last night -- I will not lie and say I didn't think about Sophie there, because I did, but I got a little perspective, and that always helps. As does your kindness, and I love y'all for it.
I'm in spoiler hell. Do I read them, are there solid ones out there like YTDaW had for GD, do I want to be spoiled, am I going to like where the show goes, and so on and so on. Gahhhhh. I always wished I'd watched GD completely unspoiled, and I'm trying to do that with SPN, but I did slip and read a couple of things today. They just sorta made things WORSE. Now I have HUGE questions, and they will, I fear, drive me around the bend.
I'm still sorta clinging to my weak idea that the amulet's meaning will be brought out, the eye-bleeding and so on, but I really think that if the finale has to do with the Winchester Family Demon, it's going to bring out things about Sam. I have nothing against that -- my wishes for the Dean material have to do less with Sam's destiny or what have you than with my ongoing worries about Dean's overall importance to the demon-myth arc, and my fears that he's become more of a spearcarrier than what have you. I'm just afraid that this is going to turn out that Sam's not Dean's brother. And although I realize, hey, I DID this in B&S, right? I'm all kerfluffled about it.
Okay -- hypocritical much, Em? But seriously. It's a control issue with me -- the same thing would happen if I read someone else's version of an adoption/whatever scenario: I'm not writing these other versions, and so I'm afraid I won't like where they go. It's as simple as that -- I can actually SEE Sam finding out something unfortunate about his origins (although I cannot see adoption, simply because I think Dean would know, and if he hadn't said anything, I dunno, it just doesn't fly for me) far, far more than I can Dean doing the same. (Okay, that sounds weird, since you know, B&S and all that. But anyway. Adoption for Dean was plausible in the sense that we saw Sam as a baby and not Dean. I can explain if needed, but let's just ignore that for the moment.)
I dunno. I HATE this time of year in a show. Jesus, at least I don't watch LOTS of shows. I'd be gouging my eyes out by now. GD dominated EVERYTHING last year -- I mean, fuck, I asked off for the season finale night, simply because I KNEW I could NOT be at work and concentrate when I knew the ep was on. (I never said I was not pathetic. *sigh*) I think I may have to do the same with the SPN finale. I mean, gah.
I need to have faith. *weak laugh* I figured that with GD, we had a very, very good chance of a solid show -- Quentin Tarantino, for all his tropes and recurring bits and certain level of predictability, is a very talented guy, and it all turned out great. This time, I'm dealing with a bit more of an unknown, and I'm gnawing my nails up to the shoulder.
So, speculation again. Just to give the hamster running circles in my brain something to chase after.
1) Sam is somehow related to this demon, and so are his powers. Destroy the demon, destroy Sam's gifts. I'm not sure if this means the Mary in SPN is kind of the Christ-story Mary, since clearly it couldn't be an immaculate conception in the classic sense, but there are Christ parallels all over this mythos, and I can kinda see this one coming into play. John is not Sam's father, at least not in the -- hmm, spiritual sense -- all the anvilicious foreshadowing about Dean being so much more like their father (something I actually disagree with in a lot of ways, as I do about any depiction of Sam as innately too gentle to kill easily, and so on -- I think Sam actually has a very hard core in him, which is both necessary and wildly important, but I digress). I'm not sure how I feel about this -- I can see it happening, and I'm not completely against it, but feel a bit conflicted. *shrug* Dichotomy time, I know.
2) John is not John. Or rather, John died in the fire, and something else took his place. Hmmm. Possible, but not probable.
3) Dean has no equivalent gifts to Sam's because they aren't actually brothers. Again, possible, but I don't think I believe this is where they're going.
4) Sam and Dean both have gifts, and Dean's just haven't arrived on the scene yet. Very possible. Not totally buying it, but possible. This one's mutually exclusive with some of my other theories, and I can't see how to tie it in. I think this is very much a long shot -- there's no reason (yet) why it couldn't happen, but I don't think this is where they're going, either.
5) That goddamn amulet. I've theorized before. It IS important. It could be many different things. Ditto the eyes bleeding. All I can do is speculate -- not enough info. Red herring, possibly. Meaningful to the overall arc -- they're holding onto it like anything, and the knowledge that we're almost to the end of the season with the lingering mystery tells me it might BE pertinent to that arc. In what way, yeah. Don't know.
And there's a whole herd of smaller theories I have, but I won't bother with them here. Whatever.
Will I get any new theories if I go trawling on spoiler boards? I joined the SPN spoiler comm, and then didn't have the nerve to look at much.
Nah. I think I'll just speculate. If anyone else wants to join in, man, go for it. It's at least an outlet for the finale angst, I think. *sigh* Shoot holes, tell me your speculation, whatever you like. Or not, I'm just, you know. Nervous. I HATE SEASON FINALES. Argh. *rips at hair*
I'm in spoiler hell. Do I read them, are there solid ones out there like YTDaW had for GD, do I want to be spoiled, am I going to like where the show goes, and so on and so on. Gahhhhh. I always wished I'd watched GD completely unspoiled, and I'm trying to do that with SPN, but I did slip and read a couple of things today. They just sorta made things WORSE. Now I have HUGE questions, and they will, I fear, drive me around the bend.
I'm still sorta clinging to my weak idea that the amulet's meaning will be brought out, the eye-bleeding and so on, but I really think that if the finale has to do with the Winchester Family Demon, it's going to bring out things about Sam. I have nothing against that -- my wishes for the Dean material have to do less with Sam's destiny or what have you than with my ongoing worries about Dean's overall importance to the demon-myth arc, and my fears that he's become more of a spearcarrier than what have you. I'm just afraid that this is going to turn out that Sam's not Dean's brother. And although I realize, hey, I DID this in B&S, right? I'm all kerfluffled about it.
Okay -- hypocritical much, Em? But seriously. It's a control issue with me -- the same thing would happen if I read someone else's version of an adoption/whatever scenario: I'm not writing these other versions, and so I'm afraid I won't like where they go. It's as simple as that -- I can actually SEE Sam finding out something unfortunate about his origins (although I cannot see adoption, simply because I think Dean would know, and if he hadn't said anything, I dunno, it just doesn't fly for me) far, far more than I can Dean doing the same. (Okay, that sounds weird, since you know, B&S and all that. But anyway. Adoption for Dean was plausible in the sense that we saw Sam as a baby and not Dean. I can explain if needed, but let's just ignore that for the moment.)
I dunno. I HATE this time of year in a show. Jesus, at least I don't watch LOTS of shows. I'd be gouging my eyes out by now. GD dominated EVERYTHING last year -- I mean, fuck, I asked off for the season finale night, simply because I KNEW I could NOT be at work and concentrate when I knew the ep was on. (I never said I was not pathetic. *sigh*) I think I may have to do the same with the SPN finale. I mean, gah.
I need to have faith. *weak laugh* I figured that with GD, we had a very, very good chance of a solid show -- Quentin Tarantino, for all his tropes and recurring bits and certain level of predictability, is a very talented guy, and it all turned out great. This time, I'm dealing with a bit more of an unknown, and I'm gnawing my nails up to the shoulder.
So, speculation again. Just to give the hamster running circles in my brain something to chase after.
1) Sam is somehow related to this demon, and so are his powers. Destroy the demon, destroy Sam's gifts. I'm not sure if this means the Mary in SPN is kind of the Christ-story Mary, since clearly it couldn't be an immaculate conception in the classic sense, but there are Christ parallels all over this mythos, and I can kinda see this one coming into play. John is not Sam's father, at least not in the -- hmm, spiritual sense -- all the anvilicious foreshadowing about Dean being so much more like their father (something I actually disagree with in a lot of ways, as I do about any depiction of Sam as innately too gentle to kill easily, and so on -- I think Sam actually has a very hard core in him, which is both necessary and wildly important, but I digress). I'm not sure how I feel about this -- I can see it happening, and I'm not completely against it, but feel a bit conflicted. *shrug* Dichotomy time, I know.
2) John is not John. Or rather, John died in the fire, and something else took his place. Hmmm. Possible, but not probable.
3) Dean has no equivalent gifts to Sam's because they aren't actually brothers. Again, possible, but I don't think I believe this is where they're going.
4) Sam and Dean both have gifts, and Dean's just haven't arrived on the scene yet. Very possible. Not totally buying it, but possible. This one's mutually exclusive with some of my other theories, and I can't see how to tie it in. I think this is very much a long shot -- there's no reason (yet) why it couldn't happen, but I don't think this is where they're going, either.
5) That goddamn amulet. I've theorized before. It IS important. It could be many different things. Ditto the eyes bleeding. All I can do is speculate -- not enough info. Red herring, possibly. Meaningful to the overall arc -- they're holding onto it like anything, and the knowledge that we're almost to the end of the season with the lingering mystery tells me it might BE pertinent to that arc. In what way, yeah. Don't know.
And there's a whole herd of smaller theories I have, but I won't bother with them here. Whatever.
Will I get any new theories if I go trawling on spoiler boards? I joined the SPN spoiler comm, and then didn't have the nerve to look at much.
Nah. I think I'll just speculate. If anyone else wants to join in, man, go for it. It's at least an outlet for the finale angst, I think. *sigh* Shoot holes, tell me your speculation, whatever you like. Or not, I'm just, you know. Nervous. I HATE SEASON FINALES. Argh. *rips at hair*