(no subject)

[janiey]

i spent two hours talking to vineet, telling him every story i could think of about every boy who has ever hurt me in the past. he was shocked and agrees that i've been screwed over but he also made me realize that a lot of what happened is my fault too. how i could have learned from the past so many times but just chose to never change. he assures me that the future will be okay, that i can keep hoping for someone better, but i don't know. i really don't know. it's hard, going from laughing one second to straight faces for two hours. now, all i can think about is the pretty glitter scattered all over my wood floor. it's pretty, it sparkles even in the dim light of my room, and each piece is isolated from its counterparts. i don't want to think about the past anymore.

i can’t believe i just made a metaphor comparing glitter to me. except i am not pretty.