(no subject)
Dear World,
I'm sorry if I am being a shitty human being. I can see how you think that. Hell, that's exactly what's wrong with me. I have that overwhelming hate for myself going on right now. Sorry if I haven't been a good friend, either. It's hard to talk when the only thing on my tongue is " I want to die".. And I'm sorry if I don't talk about it. I know exactly how it's not what you want to hear from someone you love. I know you all love me, these feelings have nothing to do with any of you. Strictly me. I don't see how any of you want me around. You could explain it with all the passion and love anyone can possibly give, and I still wouldn't understand. This doesn't mean I'll ever kill myself, yet I'm not saying that I can predict years to come. These depression fits happen often. Sometimes I just wish there was a fast forward button to life. It's so hard to wake up and face another day. I hate every word I speak, I hate every breath I take. I have those little daydreams that JD from Scrubs has, except the're not funny and they usually end in me dying. I can look at anything and have a suicidal thought. Sometimes, they're not so suicidal, they're more tragic because I know that it would be easier for my friends and family not to blame themselves or each other. I can't go blaming anyone for how I feel. If I had a perfect drama free luxurious life, I believe I would more then likely still feel this way. If you can, World, will you please just pause a moment to let me pick myself up. That's all I ask.
I'm sorry if I am being a shitty human being. I can see how you think that. Hell, that's exactly what's wrong with me. I have that overwhelming hate for myself going on right now. Sorry if I haven't been a good friend, either. It's hard to talk when the only thing on my tongue is " I want to die".. And I'm sorry if I don't talk about it. I know exactly how it's not what you want to hear from someone you love. I know you all love me, these feelings have nothing to do with any of you. Strictly me. I don't see how any of you want me around. You could explain it with all the passion and love anyone can possibly give, and I still wouldn't understand. This doesn't mean I'll ever kill myself, yet I'm not saying that I can predict years to come. These depression fits happen often. Sometimes I just wish there was a fast forward button to life. It's so hard to wake up and face another day. I hate every word I speak, I hate every breath I take. I have those little daydreams that JD from Scrubs has, except the're not funny and they usually end in me dying. I can look at anything and have a suicidal thought. Sometimes, they're not so suicidal, they're more tragic because I know that it would be easier for my friends and family not to blame themselves or each other. I can't go blaming anyone for how I feel. If I had a perfect drama free luxurious life, I believe I would more then likely still feel this way. If you can, World, will you please just pause a moment to let me pick myself up. That's all I ask.