Me
Sometimes I think what holds me back from being what I think is successful is that I don't think I'll ever be worthy. "I want to be something I'm not" This whole idea just surrounds my head. I keep in negative thoughts that tell me " Look at you, you'll never be this person, you dreamed up in your head." My goals are never obtainable because I'm not willing to put my self-consciousness away and do what is needed. I never think that I'll be good enough, and if I am, I won't fit in. Instead of feeling proud to be in an upper-class situation, I feel stressed and anxious. I blame Tim for not quitting pot that I don't... I haven't really ever even tried without him..Probably because I don't really want to, but I'm getting fat! I weigh 190 fucking pounds. I am like 50 lbs overweight, even if I could never be 140- I'm still 40-30lbs over weight! And I know when I get the munchies I eat til I can't move. I've done that forever though. I know its the problem, and I don't do anything, I know THE ROOT of the problem and and don't even cut the bud. I'm not even that busy all of the time but I feel like it, and when I cancel things it either has to do with my lack of self-esteem, or my lazy fat ass.
I feel like I can never be what I would like to be. I don't feel pretty enough, I feel judged, I feel stupid, I feel like trash. I feel like they look at me like like this. I don't wear heels, somewhat because of my height already, but also because I don't feel "worthy" I don't feel like I would be impressing anyone, and so why, when I do wear them I feel sexy- but even if I did go out in them I get home and look in the mirror, I condemn myself for wearing them and looking like a fool.
But what can I do to help me with my feeling of worth?
Or do I know and just refuse to believe it...
Probably
I feel like I can never be what I would like to be. I don't feel pretty enough, I feel judged, I feel stupid, I feel like trash. I feel like they look at me like like this. I don't wear heels, somewhat because of my height already, but also because I don't feel "worthy" I don't feel like I would be impressing anyone, and so why, when I do wear them I feel sexy- but even if I did go out in them I get home and look in the mirror, I condemn myself for wearing them and looking like a fool.
But what can I do to help me with my feeling of worth?
Or do I know and just refuse to believe it...
Probably