(no subject)
Damn stress is killing me. SOOO much bad shit. Makes u realize who is important in life and why u dont want to go back to the old days.. they were fun while they lasted but they ended in disgust. I am DISGUSTED by the way i used to live.. not the drugs not the stupidity but the blindness and now my sister is blind. I love her to death and shes going to be ok. I just wish she'd leave the DISGUSTING human being that I have left. I cant say anything to her because I love her and im not her and i cant make desicions for her but i wish I could promise her a better life without all the lies that rat tells. what ever.. I wanted to punch the disgusting human being in the face today.. her face makes me cringe. I wish she'd move far away.. she wont be forgotten tho everyone will remember how much she defected their lives. ANYWAY.. I feel responsible for tim being in jail. I know he has a lot of growing up to do and I left him by himself. Taking the fall. I should have never let the fuzz search my car. I tired not to.. I think they may have let him go if he didnt stand up and say the weed was his.. cuz they didnt find any... they lied. cuz i found it right where he hid it.. he sure is a good hider.I love him to death. and the mental pic i keep getting OVER and OVER again is his face when they were putting him in the cuffs.. the blank stare. And how he tried to hug me before any of that and i didnt hug him back. I pushed him away. god damn me.hes getting out in a few hours but i might be at work. I hope he knows how much i love him. I couldnt describe how much, even if i had a million years to tell you.