Josh Holloway & whisper -> OMG
Ok. Me and the socia have just finished seeing Whisper. And... and... and....
First thing of all.
Mr Josh Holloway, CHANGE YOUR GODDAMN AGENT.
Because I thought that when I had seen Pulse I had seen all, BUT no. This was even worse. Because fuck, that was a TERRIBLE concept and it was one of the most shitty movies I ever seen Ian Somerhalder or not, but it was more coherent than this. Really. But let's go in order.
First of all. I like horror movies. I appreciate them when they're good (nightmare, halloween etc) and have a laugh when they're crap. And they usually don't scare me. Well. In this one I LAUGHED like a maniac.
Second, you have to explain to whoever wrote this, that to make a good horror movie you don't have to put in EVERYTHING that should be in an horror movie. Here we had:
- the creepy!kid;
- creepy!kid that could see the future;
- tormentated!love story;
- tormentated!heroine that goes with the leading male and one of his supposed friend;
- lots!of characters with a terrible!secret;
- full moon;
- hungry!wolves;
- isolated!house in the woods in the winter;
- poltergeists;
- furry!spiders;
- zombies and ghosts;
- the dead!policeman;
- the dreading!phone calls;
- idiot!heroine
And I think I already forgotten some, but whatever. But, the problem was that it was a great, big ripoff. I mean, the woods covered in snow, totally Shining. The naked girl with the wolf going to eat her, it's totally King's Gerald's game. And the creepy! kid wasn't original for sure, there are tons of movies with the creepy!kid. Techinically it was nothing special. I mean, at least with the splatters you laugh at the gory effects and stuff but here there wasn't even a drop of blood. Even when creepy!kid got his head OPENED WITH AN AXE. and it was rated R?? Damn, you know, I think that the Dracula with Bela Lugosi from year 1935 or something similar was more scarier. Really. Atmosphere? Nothing. And the plot was so freaking RIDICOLOUS that you just HAD to laugh. I mean, the girl to creepy!kid 'who are you?', 'I'm an angel?' MY ASS XD my god. The dialogue. Horrible. And anyway, they really gave us an explanation for the kidnapping. They got the kid in SEVEN minutes from the start, like, WTF? The poltergeist thing? Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It seemed a bad copy of Supernatural. And of course the creepy!kid was so damn bratty, annoying and IDIOT that I squeed in joy when in the end the Almighty Hero Josh hit him in the head with that axe. I would have kissed him just for that.
But, there was something good in this whole mess.
Josh dressed as Santa Claus.
Ok, no, I'm joking, but that was awesomeness. And seriously, I don't get why he's destined to do THESE movies. Because the problem is that he's good. He's really good. He can act. And it wasn't like 'well, this movie is shit but they're paying me so I'll just act it out and fuck it', he actually put effort in that. Which is sweet, but damn, he's just wasted on this crap. In the end he really was good, expecially when creepy!kid was trying to convince him to kill himself (he didn't know who he was dealing with I think XD) and when he pwned him with the axe and got away XDDD but nonetheless. Sorry Josh. You're gorgeous. You can act. You are really good. But this movie was complete, utter CRAP.
And really. CHANGE YOUR AGENT, you and Ian. I mean, Matthew Fox gets the movie with Dennis Quaid and Forest Whithaker, Naveen Andrews gets the directed by mr Neil Jordan and mr Robert Rodriguez (call him an idiot), it's not like you are worse than them. You are just as good. Please, GET A DECENT FREAKIN MOVIE. Or a decent role, because this wasn't a decent role. You did it great, but it wasn't. It's not difficult. And ok, you turn off X Men because the character is similar to Sawyer. Well, no problem about that. But man, this guy was a Sawyer ripoff. Totally. Think about it. Please.
Overall, if you don't care about Josh, DON'T SEE THIS. And...
Dear Agent,
learn to do your job. Sincerely,
Me.
First thing of all.
Mr Josh Holloway, CHANGE YOUR GODDAMN AGENT.
Because I thought that when I had seen Pulse I had seen all, BUT no. This was even worse. Because fuck, that was a TERRIBLE concept and it was one of the most shitty movies I ever seen Ian Somerhalder or not, but it was more coherent than this. Really. But let's go in order.
First of all. I like horror movies. I appreciate them when they're good (nightmare, halloween etc) and have a laugh when they're crap. And they usually don't scare me. Well. In this one I LAUGHED like a maniac.
Second, you have to explain to whoever wrote this, that to make a good horror movie you don't have to put in EVERYTHING that should be in an horror movie. Here we had:
- the creepy!kid;
- creepy!kid that could see the future;
- tormentated!love story;
- tormentated!heroine that goes with the leading male and one of his supposed friend;
- lots!of characters with a terrible!secret;
- full moon;
- hungry!wolves;
- isolated!house in the woods in the winter;
- poltergeists;
- furry!spiders;
- zombies and ghosts;
- the dead!policeman;
- the dreading!phone calls;
- idiot!heroine
And I think I already forgotten some, but whatever. But, the problem was that it was a great, big ripoff. I mean, the woods covered in snow, totally Shining. The naked girl with the wolf going to eat her, it's totally King's Gerald's game. And the creepy! kid wasn't original for sure, there are tons of movies with the creepy!kid. Techinically it was nothing special. I mean, at least with the splatters you laugh at the gory effects and stuff but here there wasn't even a drop of blood. Even when creepy!kid got his head OPENED WITH AN AXE. and it was rated R?? Damn, you know, I think that the Dracula with Bela Lugosi from year 1935 or something similar was more scarier. Really. Atmosphere? Nothing. And the plot was so freaking RIDICOLOUS that you just HAD to laugh. I mean, the girl to creepy!kid 'who are you?', 'I'm an angel?' MY ASS XD my god. The dialogue. Horrible. And anyway, they really gave us an explanation for the kidnapping. They got the kid in SEVEN minutes from the start, like, WTF? The poltergeist thing? Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. It seemed a bad copy of Supernatural. And of course the creepy!kid was so damn bratty, annoying and IDIOT that I squeed in joy when in the end the Almighty Hero Josh hit him in the head with that axe. I would have kissed him just for that.
But, there was something good in this whole mess.
Josh dressed as Santa Claus.
Ok, no, I'm joking, but that was awesomeness. And seriously, I don't get why he's destined to do THESE movies. Because the problem is that he's good. He's really good. He can act. And it wasn't like 'well, this movie is shit but they're paying me so I'll just act it out and fuck it', he actually put effort in that. Which is sweet, but damn, he's just wasted on this crap. In the end he really was good, expecially when creepy!kid was trying to convince him to kill himself (he didn't know who he was dealing with I think XD) and when he pwned him with the axe and got away XDDD but nonetheless. Sorry Josh. You're gorgeous. You can act. You are really good. But this movie was complete, utter CRAP.
And really. CHANGE YOUR AGENT, you and Ian. I mean, Matthew Fox gets the movie with Dennis Quaid and Forest Whithaker, Naveen Andrews gets the directed by mr Neil Jordan and mr Robert Rodriguez (call him an idiot), it's not like you are worse than them. You are just as good. Please, GET A DECENT FREAKIN MOVIE. Or a decent role, because this wasn't a decent role. You did it great, but it wasn't. It's not difficult. And ok, you turn off X Men because the character is similar to Sawyer. Well, no problem about that. But man, this guy was a Sawyer ripoff. Totally. Think about it. Please.
Overall, if you don't care about Josh, DON'T SEE THIS. And...
Dear Agent,
learn to do your job. Sincerely,
Me.